Oct. 20, 11
Had a dream this morning.. There was an 8-10 ft. high chain-link fence as far as I could see w/ no gates and behind it were rolling greenish brown hills. Another 6 ft. high chain-link fence was a few ft. in front of of it, and it did have gates, open gates. Masses of people were running towards us; they came running across the rolling hills as tho escaping from the enemy, thousands of them. In order to escape, they had to scale the first fence, and I watched as they scaled the first fence then poured thru the gates of the second fence. I and a few others had been preparing pools of water for them to drink and bathe in...I counted 10 pools along my area, and the people who were now free, knelt down and drank and drank then cleaned their hands and faces and drank more even tho they had muddied the water. No one cared bc they were now free and safe.
A harvest of people are coming into their freedom, being delivered, cleaned up and drinking more Holy Spirit. The One who cleans and delivers us also refreshes, nurtures, and fills us! - We must let go of all sin and non-Kingdom patterns in order to become a new creation. This is why we must come clean, which means that we must forgive others so that we can be forgiven. If we are not forgiven, we can not be w/ Daddy-God...Jesus died so that we can be forgiven and be w/ Them for eternity, but if we won't forgive others and release them from their sin, Daddy-God won't forgive us and release us from our sin.(Matthew 6:14 & 15) I have a hard time w/ the concept of hell, as many do, and the question is often asked: How can a Loving God send people to hell?
Hearing many people ask this question made me join in, bc thinking about people being there forever overwhelms me. This is what I heard, I don't send people to hell. I send sin to hell, but if people refuse to forgive, be forgiven and let go of the sin that I'm hurling into hell, there's nothing I can do. If I forced people to let go of their sin, I would be violating the free will I gave them.
Aug. 23, 11
At the prophetic group tonight, Holy Spirit was having extra fun w/ us, and even made me laugh in spite of the discouraged state I was in. It intrigued me to watch how differently He displayed Himself thru each individual as people laughed, prophesied and enjoyed simply being in His Presence. As I watched and listened, I began to see vibrant colors over people's heads: yellow, blue, green, orange, etc. Then I remembered something He had shown me quite awhile ago..
Just as individual colors come from white, the presence of all the colors in the color spectrum, so every individual ever created portrays a different and completely unique side of Creator-God, a different color of His Nature if you will. He created us to grow increasingly vibrant in our uniqueness, so much so that we need Him to be our common ground/"norm" in order to be able to relate and connect w/ each other. He is white, the embodiment of all colors in which all our colors find their likeness. However, when people decide that they don't want Him to be their common ground and put Him aside, they have to create a common ground/"norm", a selected commonality/common color, in order to relate and connect w/ each other. Therefore, every single common ground/"norm" created requires each individual to conform to it as much as possible. In conforming, each individual must dull his/her unique color and take on the accepted color in order to be enough like other individuals to be able to relate and connect. The result is that instead of there being vivid blues, yellows oranges, greens, purples, etc., there are blue-grays, yellow-grays, orange-grays, green-grays, purples-grays, or blue-purples, yellow-purples, orange-purples, green-purples, purple-purples, and the vibrant beauty is gone. ~ Yet when we make Him our center, our "norm" and commonality, we are free to be as vibrant in our individual colors as He intended us to be! And then, as we unite together all our unique colors, the whiteness of His Nature is seen among us!!
Spring & Summer 2011
Complete restoration is a Kingdom Reality, and my dreams and visions of late have been solely on the Lord's promise to me of complete restoration, like the December one. The others began right after what had seemed to be a set-back w/ the Lord's promise to me. Nevertheless, as is His Nature, He turned the set-back around and began to give me the truest and deepest desires of my heart - encounters w/ Him..
Dec. 8, 10
Lingering as long as I could in the the sweetness of my dream this morning helped me to remember how things had been and how they will be again, but even better.. In my dream, I was taking a class from my hubby's dad, and we were reading around the classroom from one of our books. The guy next to me was finishing his paragraph, and I was next to read. The book was small and a challenge to keep open and read along while turning the pages with my one hand. As I followed along and turned the page, the book fell to the floor and closed. Since I was up next to read, I scurried to pick it up, looking at the guy's book next to me to see what page we were on. He was clueless about what I wanted, so I glanced up at the instructor and sighed w/ determination as I looked around at page corners to see if I could see what page we were on. The instructor looked up at me from his reading w/ his glasses on the end of his nose, and the next thing I knew, he was next to me like at the Christmas Candlelight performance, taking my book as he continued following along. He casually opened it to the right page and set it down in front of me, putting his finger on the paragraph I'd be reading just as the guy next to me finished reading the last four words of his paragraph. I smoothly slid right in, reading my paragraph as tho I had never lost my place, while the instructor continued walking around the room.
I had forgotten how talented my dearest husband, his family and a few of his friends are at letting me keep my dignity by covering my scramblings to keep up.. the dream was a perfect picture of how they were and how they helped me keep up. Most people mean well, but they often bring out my slip-ups, and some even make it known that they have saved me, which is embarrassing and humiliating. Also, where the book had been closed then reopened is a reminder that when the Daddy-God restores, He will bring us to the right place on the right page, so we can start back up w/out ever skipping a beat.
June 13, 10
Foamy waves crashed against the ships that were coming and going a few hundred yards out from me, and bc of the storm I started crying out -Help! Help!- The sun began to shine thru the clouds, then I saw hands begin pulling back the bright clouds, and a face appeared w/in the swirls of cloud, becoming clearer and clearer as I stared to see Him. Suddenly, He was in the sea, waist-deep, w/ a girl in a bright pink/maroon dress, and I knew it was me as a little girl. My hair was down to the middle of my back like it was when I was little, and I was wet from the storm. My legs were around His waist and my arms around His neck, and we were wading peacefully in the storm.
May 27, 10
Focused and praying, I pressed in for Daddy-God to unlock His storehouses of favor blessing and restoration of every single thing the enemy's stolen and destroyed in the lives of those who share w/ me. While I was praying, I saw floods of gold pouring out of the doors as they were flung open .. Everything WILL be richly restored to us! As I moved into crying out for our freedom, I saw shackles and chains shattering to the floor, prison doors being flung open and light flooding in. The captives were being set free! Then I saw a white army of light coming over the hill like when Gandolf comes at the very end of Lord of the Rings.
May 18, 10
This morning it seemed like a day to pray for breakthru, and as the enemy began to overwhelm me w/ torment I cried out for help. Then I willed myself to get past the pain and pressed in for breakthru and for angels to come and release us into our breakthru and restoration. As I prayed, the torment dissipated, and I felt an angelic presence right behind me on my right side.
Tonight, w/ IHOP on, I was praying what Holy Spirit was highlighting, and as I became so focused that I wasn't aware of anything around me, I saw a Christmas tree on a kids' table that was under a window. The tree had colored lights and ornaments (I've only used white) and had a yellow glow around it. It felt like evening, but it was light outside, indicating summer. I saw it as real as tho my eyes were open looking at it.
When restoration comes, we will have Christmas, no matter what time of the year it is...the presents are wrapped and ready. Now (8/8/12), the window in the den of our new house has a table under it w/ a basket of toys and a beanbag chair stored underneath, and as the sun begins to set, it looks just like what I saw in the vision. Just needs a Christmas tree..
A word I picked out of a bowl at Prophetic Group on 8/28/12
May 2, 10
Last night as I was praying and covering us (our family and specific friends He puts on my heart) w/ His blood, I put His armor on us like usual. But when I came to breaking the power, effects, and authority of every word, curse, witchcraft against each of us and our destinies in Him, the anointing came, and the Holy Spirit gave me specific things to go after.. I prayed for God to show us open doors to the enemy and to close them, to cover the areas of weakness, envelope/cover us in His shield/protection. Then I prayed for Him to raise us up to His right hand and saw us all above the horde, fighting from the air w/ Him. So I prayed for Him to send us all angelic assistance and angels of breakthru into our destinies, and they came.. This morning I saw them come like eagles, and we rode them. I felt that "our backs were covered" as we rose above the horde, and the angels of warfare and breakthru around swarmed us. This morning these angels of warfare seemed to be eagles that we rode on, and my personal warfare lessened.
I had the Awakening and was worshiping and dancing before Daddy-God on the sea of glass that's around His Throne, and as I saw the twenty-four elders, the saints and the angelic host around the Throne, I wondered what it's like behind His Throne.
I looked up, amazed that He wasn't laughing at me as some of you will be who are reading this. So I walked around to the back, behind Him, expecting to feel like I was behind Him, like being behind the chair of some stern scary master of a mansion. Yet it felt as tho I was still in front of Him. It was like when you're behind a person in a small kitchen and you're close enough to know that you have their full attention as tho you're face to face w/ them.
I can't hide back here. I thot, and as soon as I thot that, He reached back and tickled me w/ both of His hands. No matter how I bent and wiggled, He got me every time, and we laughed and played until He picked me up and brought into His lap.
April, 10, 10
Had my first dream of seeing Jesus this morning .. I was in a dark room being tormented by the enemy as usual. It felt like a baby's room w/ a crib along the wall to my right next to the door. The door was shut almost all the way except for a sliver of light that was shining thru brightly and seemed to smile knowingly at me. So instead of crying out "Jesus!" then fighting to wake up to get the enemy off me, which always intensifies the torment, I just cried "Help! Help!" The door FLUNG open and Jesus burst in laughing like a best friend running to you at the airport. He threw His arms around me in exhilaration, but the light revealed that I was holding an empty box. Even tho His arms were around my shoulders, I was actually a foot away from Him. As soon as I realized what was happening, that I had a chance to see Him, I looked up to see His face, and He turned his head so I only saw His profile. The empty box was my don't-touch-me disgust w/ touch and affection bc of all the violations in my life.., but He's been healing me and helping me to let Him hold me. It amazes me how excited He is over us in spite of our issues.
March 1, 10
The IHOP Awakening was on, and worship was on a solemn note, so I tried to be reverent and follow the flow of things for once. As I worshipped at His feet, I sighed discouragedly at the passing thot of wishing I could dance w/ the Father. Despairing over feeling like I can never seem to do what everyone else is doing, I heard a
I looked up and gasped in shock, - Bc You're THE FATHER! The King of the universe! You don't get off Your Throne for anyone. .. thinking, He is way too holy to be close to me like that..
The Father, the King of the universe, got up off His Throne, took my hand, raised me up, and danced w/ me. I think I'll be undone forever.
April 28, 09
This morning, I finished reading Heaven Awaits the Bride for the second time around and sensed I was supposed to press in the rest of the day instead of reading it again. So I went to the floor near the entertainment center to be in His Presence, since it is there in that corner of the living room by the bedroom door that I've always sensed an opening and a clearer access to His Throne. I wanted Him closer tho, in my living room so that I could be at His feet, and that's when the vision actually started.. I began imagining Daddy-God coming down on His Throne bc He has told me to "see" what I ask Him for, then all of a sudden I felt it all materialize in front of me. I felt Him settle in front of me w/ Jesus on my left and Holy Spirit on my right. Everything I thot about, like resting my head on Daddy-God's shins and holding Their hands, He kept saying Why not? to. So I rested my head against His shins and took His right hand and Jesus' hand and pressed them to my lips and kissed them while I interceded. Then I felt Jesus' head come to rest against mine w/ Holy Spirit on my right and hovering over my back, so that I was tightly enclosed in them while I prayed and interceded.
Needless to say, the ripping isolation disappeared! A little while later I crawled up into His lap just bc I wanted to and I knew I could! Jesus sat on Daddy-God's knees, sandwiching me in between Him and Daddy-God, w/ Holy Spirit spiraling in front of me on my tummy, and I reached up and fingered Daddy-God's face as I continued interceding. I can now come into His Presence and sit on His lap whenever I want to...
Posted by Jessica. Post a comment.
So many have encouraged me to let my dearest husband go and move on with my life, saying that God will meet all my needs. Yes, oh how I agree! Since I have been through so much from my childhood until now, I want God and only God! I do not need or want to have to trust anyone or have to build relationships with anyone. Yet God has allowed Jerry-size hole to remain within me to bring me to realize that my love and my yearnings for my hubby are just a glimpse of how God longs for the lost and for those who are not reconciled to Him, as Heidi had talked about.
As I thought about where we were, I thought about how I had been struggling to trust Him to fulfill His promise as far back as I could remember. I had been fighting against it in spite of His daily encouragements and confirmations. Then I remembered the first big-time confirmation the Lord had given me...it was during an earlier conference, when I had decided that I was not going to continue on this journey of faith any longer.
At this conference, I had been completely despairing in my spirit to the point of defiance, so I had told God I was not going to do this sticking-it-out thing with my husband anymore. I was through with the shame of it all. I told Him that this clearly was not from Him, and that I had manipulated things into convincing myself that God had brought Jerry and me and the rest of us together and that He will restore everything. Then, as we started singing "Forever," God and I conversed further..
This is NOT of You!
Have I ever not done what I said?
Forever God is faithful! - No.
Have I ever let you down?
Forever God is strong! - No.
My promises are true! And I WILL do exactly as I have promised!
Forever God is with us! - NO! I'm NOT doing this! This is NOT You! And I'm NOT going to manipulate this song into a confirmation that You brought Jerry and me and the rest of us together and that You will bring us all back together and restore everything!
Then, in full defiance to His face, I said out loud, "There is NOTHING You can do to convince me that this is of You!"
At that moment, I noticed the music had stopped, and then the worship leader said, "Some of you don't believe that God will do what He promised, but I am here to tell you that God IS faithful! And He WILL do what He has promised! Let's sing this again.."
As we sang through the song again, I wept. God had stopped an entire worship conference with hundreds of people to talk to me, to keep me going, and to confirm to me that He truly had brought Jerry and me and the rest of of us together and that He will bring us all back together and restore everything!!!!!!!!!!! So I must stay faithful as I had promised.
So I have learned that my ways are not His Ways, but He is faithful! So I must be faithful and live for each day to worship and glorify Him.