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What a hope You have called us to,
Life forever giving glory to You.  . . . 
(What A Hope)   -   Ephesians 3:20

Thots Part 2
- Many of these entries were my taking painful experiences and turning them into a greater understanding of how to Love and Honor others so that the pain doesn't turn into bitterness, anger and hatred (bc He can bring good out of anything) .. and bc Loving and Honoring the ones in front of us is what we are here for!


March 25, 16

And He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. 1 Peter 2:24

Good Friday? - Jesus died so we wouldn't have to.. Yes! Very Good Friday!!!

Posted by Jessica at 12:15 PM.        
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March 16, 16

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Do we love people enough to "get into their loop" as Danny Silk talked about? If so, what does that look like? I've had a few friends not wear red when they knew they'd be seeing me bc red is an excruciatingly painful color for me. One friend who led the prophetic group I was in never wore red on those nights, and I wondered what Holy Spirit told her bc I never said anything to her about it being a difficult color. Even tho Daddy-God is working healing in me by changing its meaning for me, it's still nice not to be confronted w/ lots of it.

Posted by Jessica at 11:25 PM.         Post a comment.

March 14, 16

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened.. Hebrews 3:13

Uplifting others should be a way of life, in everything we do and say, even in how we joke and play. Could honoring others involve stepping into their worlds, instead of wrecking a seemingly silly thing they're working on or derailing them from something they're eve casually enjoying? Why is it funny to mess up something a person is working on?? Why not enter into the thought processes and emotions of those we're close to in order to come alongside them and enhance what they're thinking, doing and or experiencing? My treasure and I were sitting in the back at a recital, and I commented that the piece we were listening to made me think of rain. He grinned and tapped out a pitter-patter of raindrops on his knee, then we painted a picture of what the piece brought to mind as the music rose and fell. Animals ended up playing a game of chase as they scampered over low rolling hills of green grass, fresh from the rain..it was quite a fun experience :)

Posted by Jessica at 4:46 PM.        
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March 9 & 10, 16

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

I love how Daddy-God gives us everything we need to become the daughters and sons He created us to be and to do everything He calls us to do. This week, He's begun to challenge me to stay connected to who He wants me to be so that I can grow in my ability to Love the way He created me to Love. It felt overwhelming bc of the pain that people's words bring, so I told Him I need encouragement and connections that don't hurt..He is providing connections that are encouraging and not painful.

Posted by Jessica at 3:08 PM.        
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March 6, 16

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18

Things in my life rarely settle into a comfortable rhythm, possibly bc I never want to stop growing and changing. Even tho growing is rarely comfortable, it is full of peace once I yield. So if I'm cozy and comfortable yet/or frustrated in my circumstances (or bored), is it an indication that I've stopped yielding to allowing Daddy-God to grow and stretch me into who He created me to be. The more we grow into who He created us to be, the better fit we will be in each situation He brings us into. ;')

Posted by Jessica at 10:44 PM.        
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March 2, 16

We need to watch how Daddy-God uses us in the lives of others to see what He might be up to and focusing on in their lives.

Posted by Jessica at 10:20 AM.        
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Feb. 28, 16

Everyone who is called by My Name, whom I created for My glory... Isaiah 43:7

Se were made to bring Him glory. The way Paul said this this morning struck a new chord in me.. We were created for the Divine purpose of bringing Him glory!

Posted by Jessica at 10:34 PM.        
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Feb. 25, 16

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-8

This thot intrigued me - we all know that we need to fix our eyes on Daddy-God's face and become like Him. Yet when I read these verses, I realized that when we don't know what we're suppose to be doing, if we focus on becoming like Him, what were created for and what we're suppose to be doing will become clear. And becoming like Daddy-God will bring us into greater effectiveness and productivity.

Posted by Jessica at 11:58 PM.        
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Feb. 20, 16

Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon. When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh. Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, "Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you." Genesis 41:14 & 39-40

Starting out small and learning to steward the little things we've been given, helps us to stay humble and teaches us how to steward the more we will receive when we are promoted. True humility and knowing how to honor others will open doors of opportunity beyond what we dreamed was possible. - Loving and honoring others is a way to start transforming our prison into a palace right now.

Posted by Jessica at 10:53 PM.        
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Feb. 18, 16

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20

Pursue friendships with those you want to emulate or who cause you to grow into the person you were created to be more than w/ those whom you feel comfortable w/when you're not being your better self.

Posted by Jessica at 11:36 PM.        
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Feb. 14, 16

Pastor Kris made an interesting comment this morning, wounds can either bring about walls of defense or windows of revelation..what not to repeat or say or do to others.

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Feb. 9, 16

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will isa - His good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

How can we accurately discern Daddy-God's Will and desires when our minds are influenced by fear, doubt, worry, etc.?

Posted by Jessica at 11:48 PM.        
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Feb. 7, 16

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3

Daddy-God's world is so beautiful to me.

Posted by Jessica at 11:55 PM.        
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Feb. 4, 16

For those who find me find life and receive favor from the Lord. Proverbs‬ ‭8:12, 35

Pastor Bill talked about favor on Sunday.. When we wear a bullseye for Daddy-God's favor, it's for our benefit and so that we can paint that bullseye on others..for Daddy-God to release the favor on them that He releases on us.

Posted by Jessica at 9:52 AM.        
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Feb. 1, 16

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:6 & 7

Setting boundaries can be hurtful and feel like rejection to those affected by them, so we need to be encouraging and Loving when we're setting boundaries in relationships. Leaving the situation w/ an invite to come back later is an encouraging and healthy way to set boundaries. Isn't setting boundaries in a way that leaves the other person feeling Loved, valued and powerful evidence of royalty? Pastor Bill spoke last night and said that our royalty is revealed in the choices we make, and that our time here is training for eternity. Is our royalty being revealed in our relationships?

Posted by Jessica at 11:50 PM.        
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Jan. 30, 16

Fo the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. 1 Corinthians 9:22-23

Part of honoring others is identifying w/ where they are..bc from there, we can encourage them in a way that empowers them fulfill their destinies!

Posted by Jessica at 11:15 PM.         Post a comment.

Jan. 28, 16

So it is with you. Since you are eager for gifts of the Spirit, try to excel in those that build up the church. 1 Corinthians 14:12

Daddy-God gives each of us skills, gifts and talents for the purpose of developing them and using them for other people's benefit and building them up, which glorifies Him. Our skills, gifts and talents were not deposited in us for our own glory.

Posted by Jessica at 11:58 PM.        
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Jan. 24, 16

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

Perfect Love has no place for things that hold us back, bc perfect Love motivates us to move forward. Living a life w/out regrets can only be done by living from Love where fear, doubt, pride, etc. don't influence our decisions and what we say and do.

Posted by Jessica at 8:40 PM.        
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Jan. 21, 16

Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain?

The one whose walk is blameless,
who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from their heart;
whose tongue utters no slander,
who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others;
who despises a vile person but honors those who fear the Lord;
who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind;
who lends money to the poor without interest;
who does not accept a bribe against the innocent. Whoever does these things will never be shaken.
Psalms 15

Every thing about Daddy-God, Who He is and what He loves is so beautiful to me, like a meadow of sweet grasses w/ streams and pools of water amidst fragrant flowers popping up everywhere, happily lifting their faces and leaves to the Son in worship! This Psalm goes w/ the section in Proverbs 6 that I read this morning, bc as I was reading verses 16 thru 19, I felt Daddy-God wanting me to take these verses on what He hates to find out He loves.
Seven things Daddy-God loves: Eyes that look at others w/ honor,
A tongue that speaks truth,
Hands that heal and bring life,
A heart that plans good things for others,
Feet that are quick to do good,
A true witness who stands up for what is right,
And a person who promotes unity.

Posted by Jessica at 8:15 AM.        
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Jan. 20, 16

Love your neighbor as yourself. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Matthew 22:39 & Romans 12:10

Honoring others requires us to be confident and comfortable in our own skin. When we aren't okay w/ our shortcomings and weaknesses, we can't honor or celebrate others' skills, giftings and victories. We are on this ball of land and water to Love, Honor and Celebrate others, which means we needs to like how Daddy-God made us.

Posted by Jessica at 11:47 PM.        
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Jan. 18, 16

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

Is being right worth the cost of someone feeling lower or taken down? I suppose I'm pondering this bc I'm around enough people who aren't shy about letting me know when I'm wrong or how I need to be or do things differently. Is all of that so important? In the midst of going to Daddy-God to be built back up, He reminded me of who I am as His favorite girl, which lifted me up to standing strong and tall again. It made me realize that things can beat us down more when we lose sight of who we are as His favorite. For those times when a correction needs to be made, Holy Spirit can show us how to make sure that people/situations feel safe and healthy w/out tearing anyone down. Knowing who we are as His favorite gives us insight into how to be honoring in everything we say and do, including how to establish standards and boundaries while walking in Love and Honor.

Posted by Jessica at 11:50 AM.        
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Jan. 15, 16

My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

We got the keys to our house this afternoon! This has definitely been an experience of seeing issues come up then watching Daddy-God do His ahhh-but-God thing.

Posted by Jessica at 10:50 PM.        
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Jan. 10, 16

God has said, Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5

This morning, Kris said something that peaked my interest .. The way we see Daddy-God reveals what our calling is. I see Him as gentle and safe yet powerful, almighty King of the universe who is confident and secure enough in who He is and who I am to empower me to be powerful myself. He is also confident and secure enough in Himself and in me to release me to explore, grow. learn and heal. He is my safe place. Interestingly, I've daydreamed about being a safe place for animals and people ever since I was six or seven..I've always wanted to be a place of safety and healing for people as Daddy-God has always been for me.

This morning made me think about how Daddy-God encourages us along the way until it's time for us to keep going simply bc we know we're suppose to. A few years ago, He stopped giving me reassurances and confirmations that I was to stay faithful to my treasure no matter what bc I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was to keep the covenant I had made to stay faithful no matter how excruciatingly painful it became. I have just begun a new journey that involves healing, growing and trusting, and the urge to run is almost overpowering. Nevertheless, I've decided to face it, and as I started towards the back doors of the sanctuary this morning to say hi to a precious person He says is safe and wants me to trust, Shepherd by Amanda Cook began playing. Daddy-God gave it to me this song a few years ago bc it was the heart cry of my dearest treasure, so I knew He was in this and was very near.

Posted by Jessica at 9:37 AM.        
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Jan. 3, 16

the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

One of the things Eric talked about this morning was being involved in people's lives and empathizing w/ them, feeling the pain of their painful issues, so that we can truly Love them, give them Hope and bring the Kingdom into their lives. It made me smile bc I had been thinking about how truly Loving someone requires us to study them, who they are, what makes them feel honored, respected and valued, and such. - So.. Loving people means we get to know them down to their core, be involved in their lives and feel w/ them thru the hard and painful things, so that we can bring them Hope and the Kingdom. Value, honor, respect and Love people into the Kingdom.

Posted by Jessica at 11:50 AM.         Post a comment.

Dec. 31, 15

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

Thinking about the life Daddy-God brought me out of, the lives He's brought each of us out of, how can we possibly withhold anything from Him? His plans are way better than ours anyway, so we're just shooting ourselves in the foot not to run after them. The only reason why His Ways and His Plans are scary is bc they were made to fit the person He made each of us to be, not the person we are at the moment, which means we have to grow and change to fit into what He has planned. Growing and changing means we're not in control...lol. Happy New Year!!

Posted by Jessica at 11:32 PM.        
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Dec. 25, 15

Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back tomorrow and I'll give it to you" - when you already have it with you. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy. Proverbs 3:28 & 31:8-9

When I woke up this morning and looked at the clock, it was my treasured hubby's birth date, and I wondered why Daddy-God would bring him to mind like that as He used to do to renew my hope or to nudge me to pray for him, neither of which is needed any more. Then as I was reading Proverbs 31 (not planned, so the timing is intriguing), I read these verses and was reminded of the importance of our responsibility to speak up for and defend those who cannot stand up for themselves or make their voice be heard.. and we need to do it when it's needed instead of later when it may seem to be easier. My hubby did, and those I work w/ now stand up for, defend and speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves and be heard (and it's done w/ honor and grace), so I post this in honor of them today.

Posted by Jessica at 11:03 PM.        
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Dec. 21, 15

Whoever believes in Me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them. By this He meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive. John 7:38-39

I love how God gives us pictures to show us Who He is in ways that we can understand. Tonight I had this thot: Holy Spirit is like water bc He can get into every crack and crevice of every part of who we are, and He can clean and heal every part w/ utmost gentleness.

Posted by Jessica at 11:32 PM.        
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Dec. 18, 15

For My flesh is real food and My blood is real drink. Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood remains in Me, and I in them. Just as the living Father sent Me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on Me will live because of Me. John 6:55-57

We must internalize the Truth in order for it to change us and bring us into greater intimacy w/ Him.

Posted by Jessica at 1:12 AM.        
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Dec. 14, 15

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

I saw something this afternoon that brought me to realize just how humility and honor opens the door to freedom and a better life in all aspects. For instance, if we can't accept and value someone's help to fix something or show us a better way to do something, like solve a computer issue, we'll have to live without a properly working computer until we can accept and invite the help we need. When I'm not finding my identity in being Daddy-God's favorite girl, I like to be the one who is knowledgable and not always needing help from others who can do things better than I can, but this attitude keeps me from celebrating others and what they're good at.

Posted by Jessica at 11:58 PM.        
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Dec. 4, 15

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. Matthew 10:16

We need to use our heads and His wisdom in making decisions, while keeping our hearts pure and innocent and full of His Love so that we act/speak from that Love. We are to surrender our whole beings for Him to use.

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Nov. 28, 15

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

Just had this thot: what if our longings are given to us to give us a taste of how deeply Daddy-God longs for us and to spend time with us? And when our longings are fulfilled, what if that's a taste of what Daddy-God feels when we spend time w/ Him and thoroughly enjoy His Presence? Makes me want to give Him as much of me as He longs for. :)

Posted by Jessica at 9:08 PM.        
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Nov. 24, 15

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. John 13:34-35 & Colossians 3:17 Live in unity

In thinking about my conversation w/ my brother on Friday, I wondered again why words, actions and motives so often don't match - it's either something hurtful but "I/they meant well," or it's fluffy/fake pretty words and deeds from thots and motives that aren't Loving or Honoring. As I was getting ready this morning, I felt Daddy-God say that dealing w/ rightly aligning our motives, words and actions makes us deal w/ attitudes, heart issues or wounds that can be too overwhelming to face. Things that people say and do to us are deeply devastating, hurtful or just plain discouraging, and just bc they meant well or were being politely insincere doesn't take the pain or wounding away. Therefore we must work thru each issue w/ Him and let Him heal us so that we in turn can be strong and secure enough to learn to truly Love and Honor others in our motives, thots, attitudes, words and actions..(and not end up being rough and hurtful to protect ourselves.)

Posted by Jessica at 9:36 PM.         Post a comment.

Nov. 20, 15

Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives/tricks their neighbor and says, "I was only joking!" Proverbs 26:18-19

My brother and I were talking today at lunch about making sure that actions and motives match. It's frustrating when someone says something like, "You're weird." or "That was stupid." and then when they see that it was hurtful or discouraging, they say, "Oh, don't let it bother you. I was just joking." We are responsible for our words, actions AND motives. When our motives are to truly Love and Honor others and to bring out the gold in them, we'll have a considerable decrease in the number of messes and hurts we need to fix, and there'll also be little or no need to excuse or explain ourselves either. However, when we say something like, "You're so amazing!" from a sincere heart of Love (w/ no desire to sneak in something out of frustration, anger or an insecurity), and they take it wrong, then that is on them. We are responsible for what we put out and for the purity of our motives behind it.

Posted by Jessica at 10:24 PM.        
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Nov. 17, 15

Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. 1 Timothy 4:14-16

This caught my attention tonight as I was listening to Pastor Bill: The greater the warfare, the greater the need for a clear conscience, and sometimes it's Daddy-God who leads us into warfare to teach us how to manage us(our thots/emotions), manage Truth(what He says about us), and manage opposition. How well we manage ourselves w/ others and how well we deal w/ conflict shows Him how much He can trust us w/ now and in eternity.

Posted by Jessica at 10:56 PM.        
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Nov. 11, 15

Love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:39

Why is it so important for us to like who Daddy-God made us to be and be secure in being His favorite? Bc we won't be happy or able to be and do all He created us to be and do, and we also won't be able to genuinely Love, encourage and honor others. In order to truly and genuinely encourage and honor others, we have to be okay w/ ourselves and our limitations.. meaning we have to Love ourselves, the good, the bad, and ugly as Daddy-God does so that we can Love and encourage and honor others. If I'm embarrassed or insecure w/ my lack of skill and interest in math, I won't be able to confidently celebrate and honor another's skill or successes in the math world. When we are confident and secure in who we are as Daddy-God's favorite daughter or son then we can truly and genuinely encourage and honor others and celebrate their successes and victories..the stronger we are w/in ourselves, the more powerful our words and actions are.

Posted by Jessica at 11:34 AM.        
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Nov. 8, 15

His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, Ephesians 3:10-11

Pastor Bill spoke tonight on how our destinies and promises here are preparation for what we will be doing in eternity. Whenever Daddy-God gives us a promise, He is linking us to our eternal purpose and to what we are becoming, and our eternal purpose is all about manifesting His nature over everything.

Posted by Jessica at 8:55 PM.        
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Nov. 3, 15

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

When we go to Daddy-God for what we need and want and revel in the richness, depth and fulfilling satisfaction of His provisions, we can pour into those around us w/ the right motives, bc we don't need anything from them. ;')

Posted by Jessica at 11:29 PM.         Post a comment.

Oct. 31, 15

... live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1-3 Live in unity

Living in unity requires intimacy. Hadn't thot of this verse in this way before, but as I was wondering why there's strife, fighting, and people just not getting along and hurting each other, I wondered why people can't just give to each other like my treasure and I did. Then I realized that tho we were far from perfect, we had a bond and an intimacy that put the other person and their well-being above our own desires, and we were both willing to listen, give and change. True, unity is not a one-way ordeal, but it starts with us (not the other person). The stronger and better we become at something, like Loving, honoring and pouring into everyone around us, the stronger the effect it will have on the atmosphere we're in, which will then cause others to fall into being more Loving and honoring and pouring more into everyone around them. We are contagious, and it's our choice whether we're contagious w/ good things or bad things.

Posted by Jessica at 10:24 PM.        
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Oct. 27, 15

Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits. 1 Corinthians 13:7

I've been watching Person of Interest , and tonight Shaw saved a little girl instead of going to the hospital to have her wound treated as Finch had told her too. She expected to be fired, but Finch surprised her by telling her she was hired, bc he saw the good in her and believed in her and her ability to make wise decisions. Healthy freedom allows people to think and experiment outside the box w/out being shutdown by harsh consequences, whereas control always dishes out consequences for thinking, speaking and doing things that are different from the instructions given. This is bc healthy people Love, trust and believe in people and are all about championing them to become who they were created to be, even when they don't do everything they're suppose to for the sake of someone else's safety.

Posted by Jessica at 11:57 PM.        
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Oct. 25, 15

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

This morning, Eric wrapped up what Jesus did so well; He gave His life for us, bought us w/ His life so that we could live, therefore our lives actually belong to Him for Him to use. His grace is the reason we breathe air and exist. Yet we are not robots to do His bidding, bc He wants us to freely yield to Him out of our gratitude and love for Him. This means that we need to check w/ Him, "What are Your plans and dreams for my life? I have this desire. What do You want me to do w/ it?" This last question actually came up at the end of worship before Eric even started talking, bc worship had brought to mind a desire that had begun in high school when one of the students w/ autism began coming out of her shell w/ me.

Honoring what He did for us and the grace He extends to us also means seeing ourselves as He sees us, so that we can walk in the Love, confidence and security necessary to live out His plans and dreams for our lives and to give this grace to others for His glory. Grace is a higher standard that goes further, deeper, higher than the law, bc "it's not about us".. i.e., if someone asks us to go thru something w/ them, walk a mile w/ them, we should walk ten miles w/ them.

Everything in life is about glorifying the One who bought us.

Posted by Jessica at 10:27 AM.        
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Oct. 21, 15

[The Twelve Apostles ] One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. Luke 6:12

[The Transfiguration ] About eight days after Jesus said this, he took Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray. Luke 9:28

[Jesus Heals a Demon-Possessed Boy ] The next day, when they came down from the mountain, a large crowd met him. Luke 9:37

I was reminded today how we need to actually know Daddy-God, His heart, and His Spirit by spending time w/ Him, in the Word and in worship in order to know what He's doing and saying. He's been accelerating things, bringing opportunities one right after another, and the enemy's also been at work to hammer me senseless. It's mostly due to a lack of spoken Truth around me to contradict him, but I know a place where Truth is spoken, breathed, and lived out so much that it saturates even the air. It is a place I can go to build myself up and refill my amo just by popping in for a few minutes, and I sense Him saying, I have given you this place, so make use of it w/ wisdom and discretion.. Since what I need lingers in the air, I know I must go for the purpose of pouring into people, but in the midst of that I can absorb what I need from Daddy-God's Presence and His Truth that saturates the air. Knowing this, however, isn't going to be beneficial for me unless I actually make use of it and go w/ purpose, esp. when I'm being hammered.

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Oct. 18, 15

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross! Philippians 2:5-8

Paul continued his message on the glory we carry and how humbling ourselves to honor others will take us from glory to glory. We were given a glory bc we are made in His image and are a reflection of Him - it is ours so that we can give it back to Him. Honoring others means judging for them (in their favor) encouraging them, speaking life to them, recognizing the glory in others, humbling ourselves to serve and lift others up. I hadn't thot this out until Paul talked about it - negative judgment dishonors and keeps us from going forward, and pride justifies our criticism and promoting dishonoring attitudes, thots and behaviors.

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Oct. 13, 15

You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. -> You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Jeremiah 29:13 & Psalms 16:11

Worship is not just a good way to get ideas and downloads, it's where we can dream/flower out the seed of an idea He gives us, bc once we get an idea from Him, we need His ways of unfolding it, flowering it out, for His idea to work. We can't successfully carry out Daddy-God's ideas w/out His how-tos.

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Oct. 11, 15

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

This came to mind again this morning: Truly Loving others is never about what we might get out of it. Truly Loving others is about discovering what honors and celebrates them and pouring that into them like Daddy-God, Jesus and Holy Spirit do for us nonstop!

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Oct. 7, 15

"God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and .. He went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with Him." Acts 10:38

Pastor Bill makes this wonderfully simple: Jesus is perfect theology. He is not just an example of how to be nice and Love people; Jesus is our example of how to bring heaven to earth out of being filled w/ the Holy Spirit and power.

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Oct. 4, 15

Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor others above yourself. Hebrews 3:13 & Romans 12:10

Reminder - whether we have everything we've hoped for, lost what we were supposed to have, or are somewhere in between, our mission and focus should always be to Love the one in front of us.

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Oct. 1, 15

Jesus gave them this answer: Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by Himself; He can do only what He sees His Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. ... whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say. John 5:19 & 12:50

Jesus did what He saw the Father doing and said what the Father was saying to show us how to Love people and bring the Father's World/ heaven to earth, our purpose for being on this planet. Therefore, pursuing our dreams, interests, and passions should be incorporated into why we are here. Passing by opportunities to Love and Honor the person in front of us and bringing heaven to earth should never be the result of pursuing our own things.

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Sept. 26, 15

Then the Lord said to Moses, See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills - to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all [manner of workmanship]. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, Exodus 31:1-5 & Colossians 3:23

Pastor Bill addressed the beauty found in excellence, creativity, and integrity in The Power That Changes the World. There is beauty that's glorifying to Daddy-God in our workmanship, which is how we develop the skills and talents He's given us. Then, when we take it a step further and do what we do as unto Him and as an act of worship, it invites His Presence into what we do. When we partner our will w/ Him to develop all that He's put in us as an act of worship and for His glory, He will inhabit what we do and be glorified in it. I love how doing what we're good at for His glory is an act of worship :)

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Sept. 21, 15

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Romans 12:9

I know that what we carry, Holy Spirit/Daddy-God's Presence or other buggars, effects our interactions and relationships w/ other people, but I never clicked in on how merely listening to the enemy's lies ("Oh, don't bother them, they're dealing w/ a lot alrady." when Holy spirit has said to go encourage them.) will also effect our interactions and relationships w/ other people. By chipping away at our confidence, the enemy's lies can make us pull back and/or taint and twist what Daddy-God wants to say and do thru us. People, esp. discerning people can feel or even see who and what we carry, which either encourages them or gives them more to have to deal w/. So since one of my passions is to Love and encourage people, I want what comes out of me to be purely Kingdom and not tainted by my issues or the unKingdom critters that my issues and pain may have attracted. I've heard so often, "Well, I grew up w/ (blah blah blah), so that's why I'm afraid ..." (or angry or insecure, etc.) All of our issues have one goal and purpose, to keep us distant w/ Daddy-God and too insecure in who we are to Love, honor and celebrate the people in front of us. I realized today that having a clean bill of health in the spirit isn't enough..merely listening to the enemy's lies will hinder me from Loving, honoring and celebrating the one in front of me. To Love, honor and celebrate the people in front of us, we need to be healthy in our spirits, cling to what is good -> only carry Holy Spirit/Daddy-God's Presence and not other buggars, and be healthy in our minds and hearts by not listening to the enemy.

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Sept. 17, 15

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

There are reasons why Daddy-God gives us guidelines, parameters, and restrictions, and they seem unfair until we feel His Heart and His Reasonings for them. It's easier to understand why He wants us to be gentle, kind, loving, patient, etc., but the individual restrictions can be frustrating and feel unfair until we feel and understand His Heart and Reasons. From the first day of seeing my best friend and dearest treasure, Daddy-God basically showed me that I was to remain at His feet w/ regards to him, that I was there to pour into him and strictly nothing else. He had already been teaching me how to go to Him for everything I needed (unless He specially sent to a person) so that I could pour into my husband and others w/out my needs and wants tinting my motives for loving on them, but His strict parameters that I never go to a human when I needed something even as small as an encouraging word was maddening until I came to see how people, esp. girls, pulled on my best friend in ways that wore him down and worse. The parameters that I only go to Daddy-God when I needed something was frustrating to no end and felt cruel and maddeningly unfair as I watched and listened to other girls striving to get their needs met by their spouses, parents and friends until I felt His Heart and Reasoning for it. Once I saw and felt what my neediness could do to another person, I've had no desire to go to someone for something I needed much less wanted.

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Sept. 12, 15

After He had dismissed them, He went up on a mountainside by Himself to pray. Matthew 14:23

This thot piggybacks the last entry.. Why should I have to go somewhere to find God's Presence so I can hear His Voice? Why can't I have my time w/ Him where/when/how I want to? Maybe bc there's a little pride in the place those questions are coming from, and pride always distorts what we hear and sense in our spirits. (He also wants to know how hungrily we'll pursue Him and how hungry we are for His Voice, His Thots/Ideas/Solutions for our situations.) - This thot just popped into my head, anger in reaction to Truth reveals resistance in our spirits..and resistance also affects how and what we hear.

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Sept. 8, 15

After He had dismissed them, He went up on a mountainside by Himself to pray. Matthew 14:23

Environments/atmospheres affect revelation. This week is a little different from my normal routine; somethings have been harder while others have been easier due to the change in environment. As I've been doing what needs to be done, I've noticed that I've been getting ideas, healthy solutions, etc. for issues I'm dealing w/, kind of like I do during worship. It made me realize how strongly environments and atmospheres affect what we see/get in the spirit, i.e., to receive healthy and rightly revelation, we must find a place where we know His Presence can be felt strong and pure.

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Sept. 3, 15

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5

I had coffee w/ a friend tonight, and as we encouraged and prayed for a guy outside, I was reminded tonight how important it is to remain in Him in absolutely every area of our lives, bc it will keep everything balanced and in the proper perspectives. What I was reminded of tonight was that working thru healing, frustrations, etc. while in worship mode keeps our thots aligned so that we can gain Daddy-God's perspective and heal properly. It's also always a good idea to interact w/ people from our place in Him bc it will gives us the confidence and security we need in Him to truly Love and Honor them, and remaining him enables us to see them according to how He sees them.

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Aug. 30, 15

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened (and give up) Hebrews 3:13

Encouragements and positive words are powerful motivators, much more than harshness and criticisms. Speaking Truth brings out the gold in people and can give them the strength to keep going. :')

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Aug. 27, 15

Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:12

Loving people involves learning their love language and embracing the ways they show love. Truly Loving someone means studying them to learn who he/she us, his/her love language, likes and dislikes, etc. It reminds me of hearing about when my best friend's parents invited people over.. they would talk about their guests' interests, play the type of music their guests liked, and basically celebrated them while they were all together. Loving someone celebrates him/her in a way that feels honoring to him/her.

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Aug. 23, 15

As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

Sometimes pain is confusing to me when external things seem to be okay, not hurtful or wrong, so I've asked Daddy-God why things hurt that seem to be good. This is what He showed me: pure motives must match loving words and actions to have a positive and healing impact. Good motives (I/he/she meant well) with unloving words and actions brings pain and conflict, while wrong motives with nice words and actions often brings subtle yet deeper pain and confusion for discerning people as we try to convince ourselves that those nice words and actions shouldn't hurt. Words and actions must come out of selfless Love.

Here's another that..if we truly " mean well," won't we be so careful with our words and actions that we won't do or say things that require an explanation for why they shouldn't hurt?

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Aug. 21, 15

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people.. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, Ephesians 6:7 & Colossians 3:23

I was tired this morning and felt a nudge..if I think about or calculate how much I give and pour out to others, am I doing it w/ the right motive? Am I giving and pouring myself out from the overflow of Daddy-God's Love for me? - Bc when I give and pour out to others for the sake of Loving them, I won't be aware of how much I'm giving out, or judging what they do w/ it.

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Aug. 16, 15

As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated. 2 Chronicles 20:22

Keep hearing this: when all else fails, praise Him.. Might be my sarcastic brain at the moment, but Pastor Bill literally just said that when the people praised the Lord, He set up an ambush. So, when all else fails, praise Him and He will ambush the enemy..

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Aug. 9, 15

When the disciples saw Him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. Matthew 14:26

We were discussing this verse in class today, and two things were said that made me stop and think..

1. Our fear and unbelief can keep us from recognizing and therefore participating in what Daddy-God is doing.
2.
Just bc we can't see it, doesn't make it less real or less of a Daddy-God thing.

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Aug. 5, 15

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

We are called to Love others, to pour into the one in front of us, and what a precious friend shared today reminded me of the process Daddy-God asks us to go thru by asking us to Love others. The more people we Love and deeper we Love, the more loss and grief we'll experience. I love her acknowledgement that in Loving others, the joy we experience now will be pain later. Yet she chooses to Love well bc she is willing to go thru the pain of loss for the connections, things she learned, and the treasured memories.

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Aug. 1, 15

Joab said, "If the Arameans are too strong for me, then you are to rescue me; but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will rescue you. Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in His sight." 1 Chronicles 19:12 & 13

When I read this, it made me realize that this is how our close relationships should be. Support and encouragement should be two way, and in healthy relationships, they are. When one person is being hit, the second person is there to encourage and support, but this encourager shouldn't be the only encouraging and supporting person. In healthy relationships, when the second person gets hit with something hard, the first person will turn around and be strongly encouraging and supporting for the second person. Healthy relationships are where support, encouragement and positives go two ways.

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July 28, 15

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above Him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another:

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty;
the whole earth is full of His glory." Isaiah 6:1 -3

These verses are some of my favorites bc they're a peek into the Throne Rroom and how worship is doing what we were created to do..for the seraphim it was to fly and cry out, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of His glory." - We were created to worship Daddy-God in and by everything we think, say and do, so how must He feel if we only go to Him when we need or want something from Him? Why would we want to be in a relationship w/ someone who only interacts w/ us when he or she needs or wants something? Same thing w/ worship. Our lives should be lives of worship, lives in worship mode, but worship is also a place where we can get downloads, ideas, strategies, solutions, etc. So when we truly live in worship mode and live a life of worship, we can assertively go after losing ourselves in Him for the specific purpose of getting His ideas, strategies, solutions when we have a problem or situation that needs His input. Only going to Him and worshipping Him when we need something from Him is an awful motive for "enjoying" His Presence and Who He is. Living in worship mode, on the other hand, is how we were created to live, and it makes everything so much easier, better and way more fun!

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July 24, 15

[Joshua] said to them, "Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever." Joshua 4:5 - 7

When Daddy-God has a journey for us to take, and He puts something on our hearts and in our spirits, He usually gives us strong confirmations. He confirms His Will to us, not only to affirm and reaffirm that we've heard Him correctly, but also to give us memorials for later on when things are hard and we question whether we heard Him correctly. I have no regrets about staying faithful to my best friend and husband, bc Daddy-God confirmed my journey in countless ways, even tho it didn't turn out the way He wanted it to. The only thing I would have done differently is I would have stipulated that I wasn't going to stick it out w/out a dozen or so people praying, supporting and covering us as I did w/ pastoral support and covering.

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July 17, 15

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Hebrews 10:24 & Galatians 6:2

Whatever Daddy-God does is good bc He is good. Therefore, we must support and encourage what He is doing in the lives of others, so that the enemy can't steal, kill and destroy it. We are suppose do life together, Love, support, honor and encourage each other bc were the Body, a family who's working together to bring heaven to earth. When we are not supported, we become vulnerable to the enemy - a lone wolf can never successfully defend his turf against an enemy determined to take him/her down. (Independent/lone wolfers need to stay connected w/ the church-going Body and be under leadership for covering, i.e., accountability and protection.) We must support each other and lift each other up.

No one wants to support something that's not what Daddy-God's doing, so how can we know what to support and what not to support? Always support and believe in the person (1 Cor. 13:7), then pray for the enemy to be exposed if something doesn't feel right or we feel fear, dread or hopelessness..those things are never how Daddy-God cautions us bc perfect Love casts out fear and there is no fear in Love. We only feel fear, dread or hopelessness when we're sensing the enemy's plans, which is never a good reason not to support and encourage a person in what they're pursuing. Just bc Daddy-God hasn't filled us in what He's shown someone else, doesn't mean they heard Him wrong. He doesn't tell us everything about what He's doing w/ others, and maybe that's bc He wants us to support them and believe in them out of a heart of Love, not from the head knowledge of what He's doing. :')

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July 10 & 13, 15

Then the word of the Lord came to [Elijah]: Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food. So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, "Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink? ... And bring me, please, a piece of bread."

"As surely as the Lord your God lives," she replied, "I don't have any bread - only a handful of flour in a jar and a little olive oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it - and die."

Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land."

She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 1 Kings 17:8 - 15

When Daddy's-God wants us to pour into someone, He'll provide enough for our needs and theirs.

A family decided to adopt two little boys who were cousins, but they needed to sell the house they were renting out in order to build additional bedrooms to accommodate their growing family. A half hour before the boys came tonight, the house went into escrow, so they have what they need for themselves and the two new boys!

Posted by Jessica at 11:16 PM.        
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July 5, 15

As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

Eric talked about fathers this morning, but this can go for all of us bc it has to do with Loving well. Loving well means:

Being there emotionally for the person in front of us, not just physically.
Get to know them, their dreams and passions and get into their world, and keep their dreams and passions in focus in our relationship with them rather than our own likes and enjoyments or our desires for them.
Loving the person in front of us means being one of their biggest champions.
Be real/authentic with them and ready to admit when we're wrong.
Keep a good balance between responsibility and privileges.
Deal with attitudes and behaviors..if we deal w/ attitudes first, appropriate behaviors will follow.
Be the same person in front of people as you are in private.

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June 30, 15

Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

Honoring others begins w/ honoring them in our thots. Do we think of others in a way that lifts them up or in a way that sets us up above them? I'm not good at performing at all, so if my thots about a person line up w/ Daddy-God's thots about them, my words, actions and responses to him/her will be closer to what they should be. :')

Posted by Jessica at 10:37 PM.        
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June 26, 15

Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14

Love beckons and woos before it restricts, and I think this is bc Love is forever seeking to build and nourish relationships over perfecting performances. Love knows that once it has captured a heart, there will be little if any need to restrict or address performances, bc once a heart is captured, actions become Love in action.

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June 22, 15

Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

This came to mind again this weekend - the first step in truly Loving someone is learning how he/she needs to be Loved, and the second step is honoring them by Loving them the way they understand it best, in their Love language. Even when we're polite and nice on the outside, seeing someone as less or lower than ourselves bc of what they need to feel loved is not honoring to them.

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June 19, 15

When Jesus heard what had happened, He withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed Him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them and healed their sick. After He had dismissed them, He went up on a mountainside by Himself to pray. Later that night, He was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. Matthew 14:13-14 & 23-25

What do we do when we see a need but are having alone time with Daddy-God? This is a quandary for me bc as I've been searching, I've never read about an instance when Jesus told someone He couldn't pour into them bc He was having alone-time w/ God. So it makes me wonder why we feel we can escape the needs around us bc we're having alone-time w/ Daddy-God. Maybe we just need to stay in the River, stay connected to Him as Heidi Baker talks about. Staying in the River and staying full of Him/His Love keeps us from running dry when we are snatched away from our time w/ Him to Love on others and pour into them. How can we distinguish a need from a distraction? Holy Spirit can enable us to discern between a need and a distraction.

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June 11, 15

Put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with Him is full redemption. Psalm 130:7

Dreaming renews hope, and finding people who will partner w/ us to see our dreams fulfilled can breathe life back into despair and hopelessness. A friend and I had a meeting this afternoon at Compass to share a dream we have for Compass, and I went mostly to humor my friend. For awhile after losing my treasure and his dad, I quit dreaming bc the enemy's work had been so devastating. Thus, as dreams have been coming into my mind again this year, I've been dreaming more as a way to humor Daddy-God and keep my thots on a positive spin than bc I actually believe they could happen. So I was utterly surprised when we were asked to write a proposal at the end of the meeting. Dreaming keeps hope alive..maybe that's another reason why Daddy-God is constantly after us to dream.

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June 7, 15

As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects man. Proverbs 27:19

This that just came to mind: meaning well and wanting to love someone when we're held back or timid bc of insecurities doesn't actually love them the way they need to be loved. Yet when we yield to Daddy-God's work in us to change us and to make us like Him, He has something to work w/ and thru. Whatever we won't give over to Him He can't work w/ or work thru as freely, so what others get from us is just our tainted and wounded version of Love, grace, mercy, humility, etc. Guess it intrigues me to see how our private decisions affect our relationships and our ability to Love well.

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May 31, 15

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1

Testing the spirits to me includes smelling and feeling them out along w/ poking at their beliefs and theologies. Pastor Kris spoke this morning on false prophets and how things of the enemy often look like, even identical to, things of Daddy-God. So how can we tell the difference, esp. when things match up w/ scripture? As Kris mentioned, two people can be worshipping alike but give off different vibes, bc one is lost in His Presence while the other other is wanting to look spiritual or whatever. It kind of messes w/ me to see how two such drastically opposite worlds can appear indistinguishable, and the only way to tell them apart is to recognize the source.

This made me wonder how we can recognize which source something is coming from? Then I realized that we need to know the Source. Is it bringing fear, anxiety or chaos, or peace, hope and freedom? We only need to know one side, one source, to be able to distinguish between the two. Knowing Daddy-God isn't a head knowing; it's a heart and spirit knowing that can only come from being so entwined in Him that we eat, breathe and sleep in all of Who He is. When we know someone this deeply, we immediately recognize their scent and their feel, and we know their hearts and motives. When we know Daddy-God this intimately, we'll be able to sense Him in the things He is a part of, and we'll notice His absence in things He's not doing or saying.

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May 28, 15

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. .. the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Proverbs 4:23 & Matthew 12:34

Years ago, Daddy-God gave me a picture to help me understand my best friend's innocence and the purity of his heart. I saw a wine glass that looked like it was full of muddy water, but as I looked closer, I saw that the water was actually crystal clear, pure water and that the mud had come from people's perspectives, words and expectations as they watched his actions and made wrong judgements about him. Daddy-God told me that the pure crystal clear water was the true state of his heart and spirit, and as I was thinking about this early this morning, I saw another glass that was full of ripped paper (wounds/rips and tears) and rough black gravel. My best friend had freely poured his pure water into this other glass, but all they could pour back was rips of paper, gravels and dirty water.

When we don't face our unhealthy issues, all we can pour into others is all that we won't deal w/. Even if we are filled w/ the wine of His Presence, when we don't work on getting rid of the rips and tears, gravel and dirt in our hearts, then the wine we pour out will be full of our rips, gravel and dirt. However, when we humble ourselves and allow Him to clean us up and heal us, He acts as a filter over us so that what we pour out is clean and pure. This made me realize how important it is for us the allow Daddy-God to clean us out and heal us, bc our undealt w/ issues will affect those we interact w/.

Posted by Jessica at 11:23 PM.        
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May 23, 15

Do everything in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 1 Corinthians 16:14 & Romans 12:10

So many times we "shouldn't have to," blah blah blah, but since others don't know or don't choose to do the healthy and honoring thing, we have to start the ball rolling..and often keep it rolling in a healthy direction. Going w/ the flow is actually being just as unhealthy and dishonoring as the wrong situation. Being healthy means not being angry, upset, frustrated or such bc we "shouldn't have to,", but realizing the healthy thing we should do or say then doing it or saying it in all Love and Honor. Sometimes children and pets aren't the only ones who need to be Lovingly redirected, the trick is doing the healthy/right thing with a Loving attitude before, during and after what we "shouldn't have to," be doing or saying. I've found that forgiving those I've had to say or do things for that I "shouldn't have had to," takes away my negative feelings towards them.

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May 18, 15

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for [man].. A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Colossians 3:23 & Proverbs 17:22

It's all about our hearts and attitudes. Someone from work reminded me of this while we were waiting for the hunting party to find our lost van. It had been a long but good day, and we were all more than ready to be home. Yet no one was angry, irritable or demeaning about why we couldn't find the van, and no one was singled out or blamed for it. What good does that do anyway? I was rather amazed that those in charge were all laughing, being encouraging and honoring and such just the way they always are when they're not hungry or tired and everything's hunky dory. As they were all laughing and talking and making people laugh, one of them reminded me that it's all about the attitude, which is a choice. Attitude is a choice that affects the state and motives of our hearts. Attitudes and motives of the heart trump everything.

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May 11, 15

Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:8

Love's effects take longer to be seen, but they're lasting and often eternal.

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May 7, 15

But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.

So this isn't an actual verse in the Bible where Jesus says "I never said it would be easy; I only said it would be worth it." He never promised that life would be easy, but He did give us His promises in scripture to help us and give us hope when things are hard. A conversation today reminded me that easy doesn't mean something is a Daddy-God thing, but neither does hard. We must check w/ Holy Spirit, then live, eat and breathe on the grace He gives us to do what He has set before us to do.

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May 3, 15

But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ's triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. rough Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. 2 Corinthians 2:14 & Hebrews 13:15

With some things, like garlic, when we eat a lot of it regularly, its fragrance starts coming out of our pores, ie, if we eat a lot of garlic, we'll smell like garlic. It's the same in the spirit..what we think on, we "smell" like. When we praise Daddy-God thru things, esp. thru painful and hard things, we'll smell more like Him than our pain and struggle. If we think on the pain or everything that's not how we want it to be, we'll "smell" like the stench of negativity, dissatisfaction, etc. What we think on is what we end up smelling like...and what we worship. Pastor Bill was talking about the fact that we worship what we think about the most; thus, we smell like what or Who we worship.

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May 1, 15

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

Motives come across to others more than we may think or want the to. I'm reading Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman, and it's intriguing me all over again. Whether people are sensitive or not, our motives color what we do and say. So I guess that means we should do and say everything from pure selfless motives, motives to Honor and Love. - True, sometimes people feel hurt even when our motives are pure, Honoring and full of Love, so, as always, we need to ask Holy Spirit what our response should be. Sometimes healthy patterns hurt unhealthy people simply bc healthy patterns disturb and disrupt the flow of unhealthy ones. Thus, pain is not an indicator of rightness or wrongness, so again, we must check with Holy Spirit and keep our hearts/motives clean and pure.

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April 26, 15

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs. Proverbs 10:12

Love covers, even in the midst of a warning about an unsafe person.

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April 23, 15

The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 1 Kings 19:7

I love how Daddy-God gives us what we need to face difficult situations. I had a few things to do this afternoon that were looming over me and seemed overwhelming.. but it just so happened that I had to go by the office on the way bc I hadn't been able to do what I had needed to do when I had gone by earlier in the week (bummer). After leaving the encouraging atmosphere of the office, I went to the first "fun" thing, and getting there didn't go as planned, which didn't help any. It left me hurrying down the sidewalk, feeling hot and stressed about being late, so I kept my pace steady and an eye on my destination. I noticed a person at the bus stop who reminded me of a safe person I know, and as I passed him, he smiled and said, "You're awesome!" just like the person he reminded me of has said to me. I knew it was food for the journey ahead, so I thot on what Daddy-God had given me at the office and in the stranger's words until I didn't need them anymore. I love how everything matters to Him :')

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April 17, 15

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under His power, and that He had come from God and was returning to God; so He got up from the meal, took off His outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around His waist. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash His disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around Him. John 13:4 & 5

As I was washing dishes tonight and thinking about the movie I saw this afternoon, I realized that it was a very clear illustration of how our identity affects our attitudes. One of the characters hated their life bc they had to clean toilets and do other menial tasks, but as events in the movie played out, this character discovered that they were in fact royalty. No one on earth knew what this character had discovered, so upon their return, they resumed their job of cleaning toilets and other things .. but they did it w/ a thrill that no one could understand bc they knew now who they were. They also knew the power they now had as well as the fun they could now have bc of who they were. When we know who we are as Daddy-God's favorite daughter/son, no menial task is beneath us bc knowing we're His favorites gives us the dignity, security, hope and joy to do it. We also know what we get to enjoy doing bc of who we are once the work is done :')

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April 12, 15

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20

Healing doesn't end w/ the acknowledgment of what was wrong. The next part of healing is learning to trust a wise and safe person or a safe situation and creating healthy patterns w/in that relationship or situation. ... Trusting and learning new patterns is usually the hardest part of the healing process, but it brings the most freedom and the best rewards. :')

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April 10, 15

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45

The Truth will come out in the end, and we sill be known for those very things and attitudes that we thot no one saw or noticed. Our inner thots and attitudes always reveal their true colors in one way or another. So what do we want to be known for? Loving and honoring people well bc we Love and honor them in our private thots and attitudes? Wanting to Love and honor others in our hearts and thots is entirely different from actually Loving and honoring them by how we think and hold them in our hearts.

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April 6, 15

The Lord said to Moses, When you return to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders I have given you the power to do. But I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go. Exodus 4:21

We should only do what Daddy-God gives us the power and grace to do bc He'll always back what He's doing even if others oppose it. This made me think .. I'd rather be going w/ Him than against Him. I'd rather have Him backing me than facing me (in opposition).

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April 4, 15

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:13 & 14

Can Love heal? Daddy-God is Love, and He heals, so I think that His Love in us can heal people. From my experience, the purer and more unrestrained His Love can pour thru us, the more healing Its effects are on the recipients of that Love. This is one reason why one of my greatest desires is to see what Daddy-God can do thru His Love in me when His Love is not hindered, not held back because of sin, unbelief/doubt, fear, and any other generational patterns that are not Kingdom. If I Love on someone purely and w/out restraint, will it heal them? ...

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March 29, 15

Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." Matthew 22:37

We are to use every part of who we are as we live our daily lives. To put it simply, we are to use our spirits/hearts to sense what Daddy-God is saying or doing, our minds to decide what action to take, and our hearts to act or speak from. For example, we may sense that we should go one more block and around the corner, and once we get there, we see someone crying. We sense that we are suppose to encourage them and make the decision to do so, but once we decide to encourage them, everything else should come from our spirits and our hearts. This means that we ask Daddy-God what He wants to say or is saying to them, and we say it from the Love and emotion of His heart that He fills us w/, not from the decision we made in our minds to be obedient. Words and actions that come from our mental decision to be obedient instead of from His Love in our hearts are cold, distant and void of the Love that the person needs. On the other hand, when we make our decisions from how we are feeling instead of from a mental decision or what we're sensing in our spirits from Daddy-God, we may do and say what we're not suppose to do or say bc we "feel like it." Or we may not do or say what we are suppose to do and say bc we "don't feel like it." Emotions aren't for determining what we say or do, emotions are for pouring into people thru the words and actions we've decided to take based on what our spirits are picking up from Daddy-God.

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March 25, 15

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. Psalm‬ ‭37‬:‭3-6‬

When Daddy-God is in on something that He wants to bless us w/, His Spirit makes it so much richer and fulfilling than things He's not on. The picture I get is cocoa made w/ milk, cream and marshmallows versus hot chocolate made w/ water and nothing else. Whatever Daddy-God has for us is always deeper, richer and more fulfilling than anything we can conjure up for ourselves. It is also much much bigger than we are (so that we need Him), which makes His Ways for us scary and daunting in the midst of being full of excitement and anticipation of good things. Are we willing to trust Him and deal w/ the fears in order to live in the richness and depth of the amazing things He has for us?

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March 22 , 15

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - His eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. Romans 1:20

We had a wonderful thunderstorm this afternoon, and when the sun came out, the scene was breathtaking. The sun made the wet grass and leaves sparkle and the varying colors of the leaves pop against the dark cloud backdrop. In misspelling sun, I realized that the Son makes us and our uniquenesses sparkle and pop against the dark backdrop of the enemy, esp. when we stand before Daddy-God, bc when we come under Jesus' blood covering, all Daddy-God sees is our sparkling and vibrant beauty.

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March 18 , 15

Faith by itself, if it's not accompanied by works, is dead. James 2:17

Seeing and thinking about how we need to change is great, but not putting it into action renders it meaningless and useless.

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March 15 , 15

Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor others above yourself. Hebrews 3:13 & Romans 12:10

Taking authority over atmospheres is a start, but moving on the offensive is not only keeping nonKingdom atmospheres at bay, it's going further to shutting down nonKingdom spirits, thots and attitudes in others and calling forth the Kingdom opposites. This opens the way for the Kingdom to reign in the atmosphere and in the others in it. For instance, if we encounter someone who's angry that we're helping someone who genuinely needs help (and it's not wrong or unhealthy, just a little inconvenient) we can take that "Don't me w/ me." (You have no authority here.) in our spirits. But moving offensively takes this further by bringing Daddy-God's Love and Heart of compassion into the situation and our interactions w/ the person who's angry. Moving offensively also involves declaring peace over the situation and over the person in our spirits while believing in the good in the person who's angry. In a sense, this is what a parent does w/ a child who's needlessly upset about having to do something he/she doesn't want to do, "This is what we're going to do, and you're going to be okay w/ it bc it's helping someone, and no one's being harmed in the process."

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March 11, 15

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20

We need to surround ourselves w/ people whom we want to be like.

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March 8, 15

Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor others above yourself. Hebrews 3:13 & Romans 12:10

Our sole purpose for being on this ball of land and water is to Love the one in front of us as long as they're here, which requires us to "learn" them and how they need to be loved. It's easier to remember to do this w/ those who have been given a terminal diagnosis, but we should be this way w/ every person we interact w/. When you think about it, if we are here to Love on the one in front of us, how can we possibly say, "Not now. I'm busy."? That may be one reason why we need Holy Spirit...He will fix things and get things done so that we Love others and be Him w/ skin on. When I was in college, someone was talking to me, and I cut them off bc I didn't want to be late to class - when I got to class, there was a note on the door that said class had been cancelled. Daddy-God immediately said to me, Don't you ever do that again. I created people not schedules.

Holy Spirit can fix the details so we Love those He sends our way, which requires a tight and trusting relationship w/ Him...

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March 5, 15

Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 1 John 2:10-11, 4:16 & 20

If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:17-18

This is pretty clear: if we do not love others in our actions, Daddy-God is not in us. Yet His Love must be overflowing from our hearts first since the state of our hearts is what He's concerned about bc of how it flavors everything we do and say. So when it's all put together, Daddy-God wants our hearts to be so full of Him that His Love overflows to others thru everything we do and say. He is Love. Are we Love?

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Mar. 1, 15

Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:12

Eric spoke this morning and said that when our hearts aren't in line w/ our words and actions, then our words and actions mean nothing. So when we love others, esp. our spouses, is it for what we can get from them or is it simply to pour Love into them? And if it is to pour into them, are our hearts in line w/ our words and actions? Daddy-God spent years teaching me to have my needs met by Him, so that I could pour into my hubby and Love him thoroughly bc of how amazing he was, not bc I needed love, attention, approval, feel-goods, or even bc being near him made my muscles relax and the pain leave. He showed me what loving my hubby (and others) for the selfish reasons would do to him bc of his giving nature and trusting spirit, and it made me sick. So I Loved him for him, and he valued it, the depth of my love and the purity of my motives... " you're the only one I know who doesn't have an angle on your love for me." I Loved him and poured into him even when he couldn't return it bc that's what covenant does, and I knew it was keeping him going.

True, some of us are more sensitive than others and respond more drastically to good and not-so-good things, so why not Love everyone we're around w/ absolutely pure motives? The true state of our hearts always trumps everything else. Less sensitive people won't even notice (which shouldn't bother us, bc if we're loving "w/ pure motives" we won't want to be noticed), but sensitive people can experience deep healing from the purity of our motives for loving them.

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Feb. 27, 15

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1 - 3

Sean Boltz talked about prophecy tonight, and what caught my attention was his focus on prophesying out of Love. He talked about how we can only prophecy out of Love when we know who we are (as Daddy-God's favorite son or daughter), bc when we aren't secure in being Daddy-God's favorite, we don't like ourselves enough to be able to truly Love and Honor others, even through a prophetic word. If we are to be like Daddy-God, and Daddy-God is Love, then we are to be Love and do everything out of Love. I think that everything said and done that's not out of Love has a destructive end, probably bc I've experienced it. We need to Love and Honor each other, esp. those closest to us for the sake of Love and never for what we can get from them...and this requires to like ourselves.

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Feb. 22, 15

Be devoted to one another in love. Romans 12:10

Myaybe bc Love and true Honor and Unity heals.

Love is patient and kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love does not dishonor others.
Love is not self-seeking.
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs bc Love forgives and forgets faults, foibles and irritating things.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
Love always believes in others (by bringing out the gold in them).
Love never gives up. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Love pours out into others for their benefit just as covenants are made for the other person's benefit. Could it be that when our spirits are aligned w/ who Daddy-God is in our relationships that everything else w/in the people in these relationships lines up w/ the Kingdom and physical, mental, emotional, and psychological issues are healed? The more my dearest hubby and I poured into each other and meshed together, the less my cerebral palsy affected me, ie, my twitches disappeared, and I wonder if I had a similar healing effect on him.. Is this why our purpose for being on this ball of land and water is to Love people? Because Love, Honor and Unity heals us and empowers us to live out our destinies?

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Feb. 21, 15

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. .. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10 & 18

Being proven wrong can be so degrading, which reminded me of how Daddy-God's been showing me that relationships always trump proving rightness. Insisting on one's being right typically causes anger, frustration, and even pain and humiliation, but we are called to bring peace, love and healing to our relationships thru Loving and Honoring others. We are called to bring out the gold in others, not prove how right we are.

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Feb. 17, 15

Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:12

As I was reading tonight, a thot popped into my head - many people feel unloved bc their nonKingdom/unhealthy behaviors aren't embraced or celebrated.

I personally like being around people who don't embrace or celebrate my unhealthiness bc they expect more out of me, and it's how Daddy-God is w/ me too. His motto is "You're fine. Keep moving forward." Looking backwards or drawing out imperfections doesn't ever get us anywhere. So how do we Love people w/out embracing or celebrating their unbecoming/unhealthy/nonKingdom behaviors? Don't react to the behaviors and just Love them. Since the silence from not reacting to negative behavior may be uncomfortable, we can draw attention to positive things about the person and embrace and celebrate those! (This works beautifully on children who get into trouble often, and it's how Daddy-God is w/ us...hmmmm!) -- Once again, it comes down to Loving people and bringing out the gold in them no matter what.

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Feb. 15, 15

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ..speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ. From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:2,3, 15 & 16

We are to build each other up, support each other and grow together.. Had a training for work last Thursday, and our theme this year is speaking the truth to bring out the gold in people. Then last night, Kris said that if a thot, idea or interpretation of scripture isn't redemptive, it's not God's heart. Meaning, Kingdom Truth and Love are always redemptive, full of hope, and uplifting. So between the training and Kris' morsel, if a thot, idea, interpretation of scripture or opinion about someone isn't redemptive, full of hope, or uplifting, it's not Daddy-God's heart and doesn't need to be aired.

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Feb. 12, 15

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
The truth will set you free. John 8:32

Speaking the truth means calling out the gold in people, which is often Truth about who they are that that can't see, and it sets them free and release them to be who they were created to be. I've found it intriguing (and painful) to see people use "speak the truth in love " as a way to tell others about all of their faults and things about them that might be irritating or annoying. Where's the Love in that?

Love is patient and kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love does not dishonor others.
Love is not self-seeking.
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs bc Love forgives and forgets faults, foibles and irritating things.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
Love always believes in others (by bringing out the gold in them).
Love never gives up. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

The enemy constantly hammers us w/ how imperfect we are to keep us from being the powerful, strong and confidently courageous people we were created to be, so why join him? Joining him is never a good idea. Speaking the truth in Love is all about bringing out the gold in people bc that is what Truth and Love see in others. (Wisdom and boundaries are essential when bringing out the gold in those who have not been safe or trustworthy.). If something isn't redemptive and doesn't build someone up or set them free, then it shouldn't be spoken.

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Feb. 9, 15

Jesus gave them this answer: Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by Himself; He can do only what He sees His Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. John 5:18

How much are we tapped into Holy Spirit and what Daddy-God is saying or doing? How often do we miss opportunities to Honor and Love on others? I missed an opportunity yesterday bc I allowed a non emergency situation to dictate my actions to not pursue doing what I was supposed to do. Is missing opportunities to Love on others, lift them up and honor them a big deal? Well, Loving and Honoring others is the main purpose for why we are living and breathing and being on this planet, so yes, Loving and Honoring the one in front of us and the one Daddy-God highlights is a big deal. Yesterday's incident reminded me of how acutely aware of Holy Spirit's nudges and promptings we need to be, and also how we must then pursue saying or doing what He's nudging us to say or do. We can't ever know how much that person is in need of what Holy Spirit is prompting us to do or say.

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Feb. 6, 15

I read this today as I was trying to figure out why some of my html isn't working (must update/redo code format..rrgh):

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. "Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone," he told me, "just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had."

Wow, and there are even a verses for it!

Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor's life. I am the Lord. Leviticus 19:16

Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; Psalm 15:1 - 3

Do not criticize one another, my friends. If you criticize or judge another Christian, you criticize and judge the Law. If you judge the Law, then you are no longer one who obeys the Law, but one who judges it. James 4:11

So how do we vent and work thru issues w/out being critical or speaking badly about others? Not sure other than not implicating the person who's caused the problem, such as, "Someone I see often cut me off and it hurt. Made me feel very unimportant."

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Feb. 4, 15

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

Loving and honoring others is the reason we are on this planet, and a big part of honoring others is making them look better than you by responding to their potential, not their current attitude or behavior. (This requires us to like ourselves and enjoy who we are first, bc no one can Love and honor others until they truly like and enjoy themselves, foibles and all.) My best friend's dad did this w/ me time and time again, which enabled me to grow, heal, and learn how to maintain healthy relationships w/ others. One time, he told me that it was nice to see me instead of responding to my "Go to hell" glare. Other times he called me boss and put himself at my service when I felt stupid and nervous bc of what I had done. He and my best friend knew how to honor and cover others, but not everyone appreciated this. Those who like the "comfort" and smell of their dysfunction quite often don't like people who are honoring and healthy bc their dysfunction isn't supported or celebrated. Lol.

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Jan. 30, 15

If one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:12

On the way to work this morning, the thot came to me that if Daddy-God had changed my best friend's disposition, i.e. made him hard, untrusting, and conniving, he might still be alive (tho not as kind, Loving or safe). Then I realized that this is precisely why we're suppose to Love, encourage, support and cover/protect each other... so that we can be who we were each created to be. The ability to support and protect/cover each other involves insight and wisdom so that it actually supports and protects/covers w/out turning into control, which Holy Spirit is an expert at! So again, maybe this is bc the reason we're on this ball of land and water is partner w/ Holy Spirit to Love, encourage, support and cover each other, so that each of us can be who we were each created to be and walk out the destinies that we were created to walk out. We are here to Love, support and cover each other (Galatians 6:2), and Holy Spirit's guidance, not having to know the details, is all that's necessary.

Thinking things out like this enables me to be internalizing what I can do next time for someone else, so that my pain doesn't develop into a spirit of hatred, bitterness, and criticism. Learning how to truly Love is ongoing..

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Jan. 27, 15

This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. John 15:12

As I thot about an honoring and caring interaction I had on Sun. morning w/ one of the pastors, it brought this to mind again - Daddy-God will give us what we need to Love the way He Loves us. How do we respond to the people around us and their needs? Here are some different angles on this, As I have Love you, non-Loving responses, and pouring ourselves out.. In Heidi Baker's words, "Stop for the one." We are on this planet to Love on the one in front of us.

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Jan. 23, 15

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Romans 12:15 - 16

As Randy Clark was speaking tonight at the healing conference, this thot came to mind: when someone is sharing their heart, true empathy brings us to where that person is, and this enables us to carry their burden (Galatians 6:2) and also be in a place where we can bring them thru their pain/sorrow. If we don't come along side them, we'll end up pulling them to where we'd like them to be, which is tiring for us and can end up causing them to slide even further down their hole. When I read verse 16, I didn't remember it being in the Bible -

Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. - In other words - Do not be conceited...do not see yourself as better than others.
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Jan. 21, 15

Carry each other's burdens, help each other with your troubles, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Neutrality is often actually being unsupportive and even opposing, supporting the other side. This means that we must ask Holy Spirit how to be supporting and encouraging, so that we don't end up siding w/ the enemy.

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Jan. 19, 15

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 10:10 & 14:6

Daddy-God tells us Truth so that we willingly choose Him and His Ways, while the enemy has to deceive us to get us to choose him. Hmmm, I wonder who's more trustworthy?

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Jan. 16, 15

Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, .... who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; Psalm 15:1 - 4

Keeping our word means we do what we've said we will do, no matter what. How we keep our word and do what we've said we would do reveals a lot about our character. Dsddy-God asked me once, Why should I keep my words to you if you don't keep your word to other people?

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Jan. 14, 15

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

This thot just came as I was reading tonight, and maybe it came due to the fact that my sensitivities to things have been accentuated bc of all that I have lost. Jesus doesn't just look at our hearts and attitudes regarding what we've lost or don't have, but He also looks to see what we've done and are doing w/ what we do have. Since I so desire to create an atmosphere where people can heal and not be further thrashed by the enemy, I think about what hurts my heart and what comforts it so that I can be a comfort and instrument of healing to others who are hurting. In my experience, the more one is blessed w/, the more tact one needs to have. Losing my treasure has brought hugely devastating loses and limitations to my life, besides the fact that no one else fights for me or partners w/ me quite like he did. In sense, I will now have to live a very different life...it will be good bc I am choosing to make it good, but it won't be what it should have been, which stings. It is my job to focus on what Daddy-God is doing in my life and to celebrate w/ others those things He has blessed them w/.

So what do I need to do when I have things that others have lost? Holy Spirit tact is always good! Daddy-God wants to see what we will do w/ what we have as well as w/ what we don't have. For example, when someone's lost a baby or can't have one, they do need to work thru it w/ Holy Spirit and not wallow in their pain, but others who have children should be sensitive to the one who'll never have children - Holy Spirit tact. All we have to do is ask Holy Spirit how we can encourage and love them, so that being around us is healing for them, instead of adding to their pain.

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Jan. 11, 15

So we continued the work with half the men holding spears, from the first light of dawn till the stars came out. Nehemiah 4:21

The Hebrew for "encourage the exhausted" is the same exact words for "holding spears" So half of the men built up the wall and their homes while the other half encouraged those who were rebuilding their walls. We need to surround, protect and hold spears/go to bat for those who are trying to rebuild things in their lives that have been destroyed. Kris gave this really good picture: everyone carries a can of gasoline and a bucket of water, so we need to be around those people who pour water on our fears and gasoline on our dreams, not be around or be those people who pour gasoline on our/others' fears and water on our/others' dreams.

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Jan. 9, 15

Jsus straightened up and asked her, Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?
"No one, sir," she said.
Then neither do I condemn you, Jesus declared. Go now and leave your life of sin. John 8:10 - 11

Grace doesn't condemn, but it does admonish, "Don't do it again." Grace is given not as an okay to sin but as a motivator to come up higher, and we need to give the grace to others that Daddy-God gives us. Giving others grace adds Love and Strength to His Voice that is calling them higher...Compass does this so well. Grace may seem too permissive, but this doesn't seem to worry Him at all.

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Jan. 7, 15

Fnally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable and of good report - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Philippians 4:8

To see the Truth is to see as Daddy-God sees, and in order to see thru His eyes, we must have His Heart of Love and think as He thinks. This means that all non-Kingdom thots, attitudes and strongholds, all thots and feelings that lack peace and hope, will distort our perception of the Truth - fear, anger, pride, self-seeking, prejudices, misplaced identity, etc. all distort our perception of the Truth. So how can we know whether our perceptions are on track or not? How can we know the measure of Truth we live by?

I think to some degree, the measure of Truth we live by is proportional to the price we are willing to pay for it. If we say, "Show me Your Truth Lord, but keep it pretty," we'll see Truth that is pretty, but it will only be in bits and pieces of Truth here and there. However, if we desire to live by the Truth at whatever the cost, we will see and know the Truth to a degree that will set us free from non-Kingdom thots, attitudes and strongholds, so that we can be closer to seeing Truth as Daddy-God sees it. And it is the Truth that sets us free (John 8:32).

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Jan. 4, 15

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

So I went I went to the ER this morning w/ a peanut lodged in my throat, which turned out to be partly enjoyable bc I like the people there, and I knew I wasn't going to die. This experience definitely didn't raise my enjoyment of food, but after a fun evening service, I came home and worked on a bowl of yogurt. I found my tongue blocking my throat and keeping the yogurt in the front of my mouth, which was a bit humorous and made me realize how much a trauma can affect us and how we must give each other grace to heal from things that happen to us. Even tho I've been swallowing fine for forty years, my mouth is having to become comfortable w/ and trust swallowing again. In another area, as I'm beginning my third year at Compass, I'm still healing from what happened at other jobs I've had, bc healing takes time... but I have come a long way, from accepting what I was given to asking for things I would like. We may not understand where others are at in their journeys thru life or along their journeys of healing, but we do need to give each other grace and compassion and be forgiving, encouraging each other to continue growing into the powerful people Daddy-God created us to be. If we have an attitude that isn't full of Love, forgiveness or grace as Daddy-God has towards us, all we have to do is ask Holy Spirit to give it to us. ;')

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Jan. 1, 15

From heaven the Lord looks down
        and sees all mankind;
     from His dwelling place He watches
        all who live on earth -
     He who forms the hearts of all,
        who considers everything they do. Psalm 33:13 - 15
    Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:13

Daddy-God sees and knows everything, including our (hearts and our motives), sooooo we must make sure that our perspective on things is Holy Spirit's perspective. Since we are not Daddy-God, we can't possibly know what's truly happening behind the scenes or how a person is thinking in their heart of hearts. Someone very close to me was in a circumstance that appeared to be very sinful at first and everything about my position appeared wrong and horrible, yet Daddy-God was very strong w/ me about their innocence and integrity and that I needed to believe in them. Over time, things they shared w/ me confirmed why Daddy-God had said that they were innocent and what He had shown me...bc Daddy-God is always right. They always valued and thanked me for my encouragements and love. As we begin this new year, we can sharpen our spirits' sensitivity to Holy Spirit so that we can see things as Daddy-God sees them, and this way we can Love, encourage and support as He is Loving, encouraging and supporting.

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Dec. 29, 14

So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. Philemon 1:17

Trusting someone can change the course of their life for the good, something I was reminded of when I was visiting my neighbors yesterday afternoon. As we were talking away, I was reminded of this story, and afterwards, they said that I should write these stories down. I have here, but not this one...this one happened while I was in Mozambique. We were staying in the Compound for the week we were in Pemba, and I was amazed at how clean and nice yet simple it was. Two hundred children (not orphans, bc Mama and Papa Baker had adopted them to remove the orphan mentality) lived in dorms there along with one hundred eighty Holy Given students and pastors who stayed in a separate area. The dorms and dining room had stucco walls and flagstone floors, and each dorm room had nicely kept bunk beds. The dorm parents kept the children's clothes and bedding washed and clean, and the children showered and cleaned their rooms daily. Their midday meal was a larger bowl of rice than I had anticipated w/ sauce and a palm-size piece of beef or another kind of protein.

I tend to click w/ children, usually boys, who are the "bad" ones, and for some reason their precious little gentle, angelic, loving hearts come out as they interact w/ me. After a few days at the Compound, a twelve year old girl took it upon herself to look out for me, and I gathered from the other children's whispers that she was one of the mischievous ones. I couldn't feel a meanness in her, however, and I sensed that maybe she needed to be able to prove herself. So I decided to trust her to carry my backpack, which had my camera in it, as she led me across the road to the beach where the baptisms were being done. When we found a place to sit, I took my camera out, and she offered to take pictures for me. So again, I decided to trust her w/ it. She went all over the area of the beach where the baptisms were taking place, and I seriously wondered if I'd ever see my camera again. She did come back after awhile.

Later that night while we were celebrating the July birthdays, my backpack (w/ my camera and passport) disappeared. I decided to trust that my new friend had not stolen it, and she proved herself when she took off to hunt it down. She found that the security guard at the entrance of the Compound had snagged it from one of the village children who was attempting to leave w/ it and had locked it in the lost and found security room. She came back w/ this information, and I chuckled about how she how well she seemed to know the security guard. There was only one key to that room, and she knew who had it. So she took off again to find him, and when she returned w/ my backpack, nothing was missing. Even tho I knew at least Heidi had spoken good things into her if not her teachers and dorm parents too, it was fun to look into her eyes before we left and tell her the awesome things I saw in her.

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Dec. 26, 14

Again Jesus said, Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you. And with that He breathed on them and said, Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone's sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven. If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. John 20:21 - 23 & Matthew 6:14

I strongly believe that this means that if I forgive someone, whether they ask for it or not, they will be forgiven. This is actually a serious responsibility on our part. Of course, if the person asks Daddy-God for forgiveness, He will for give them whether we do or not, but what an amazing gift we can give someone! How can we not forgive others when we are in such dire need of being forgiven ourselves?

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Dec. 24, 14

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

True Loving is never on our terms. Truly Loving and honoring another is Loving in the way that the one being loved needs to be Loved, and never w/ the attitude of "You should feel Loved by me doing this bc this is how I want to love you." Truly honoring and Loving another means getting to know and studying the one we love and learning how to Love them. For instance, if we discover that they feel Loved thru presents and we have no money, we can make them little things or pick them flowers (our wonderfulness should never be wrapped up in the amazingness of the gift). If they feel Loved when good things about them are noticed, we can ask Daddy-God to show us what He Loves about them if we can't think of anything. My best friend loved to learn and understand those he connected w/, and I just realized that this was what enabled him to Love so well. Happy anniversary to one who Loved so well!

Posted by Jessica at 11:03 PM.         Post a comment.       1 Comment Jessica, this is such beautiful, insightful wisdom. Your writings gathered under a special cover will surely bless others.       1 Like

Dec. 23, 14

"Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?" .. Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish. When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted. So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten. John 6:9 - 13

Over the weekend, I saw this for someone and just realized that this is for everyone. When we give Daddy-God everything and pour out of our hearts all that we have for Him to use, He'll multiply it so that the small bit we gave Him has an effect that ripples out far beyond what we can see. The more we give over to Him, the more He can use and multiply, and nothing He multiplies is ever wasted. Also, the more we give over to Him, the freer and happier we are. Besides, who is ever happy being cranky, critical, negative, self-centered, etc.? So the catch is??

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Dec. 21, 14

As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

Do we pour ourselves out for what we can get out of it or for the sake of Loving and pouring out? If we pour out for the sake of Loving and pouring into someone bc we're so awed at His Love for us and how He poured Himself out for us, then we wont be quite as hurt or disappointed when it isn't honored or valued or returned. How can we not pour out our Love to others once we begin to internalize His unending and abounding Love for us?

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Dec. 17, 14

For as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, "Eat and drink!" But his heart is not with you. Proverbs 23:7

We wear what we think. This idea woke me up a bit today as I thot about how much people can actually feel the true state of our hearts, esp. discerning people. For instance, if we think in our heart of hearts that people w/ curly hair are ugly, or that people with less money or less education are less important or of a lower class, people can feel that aversion and hardness on us. Also, a discerning person who has curly hair may wonder why s/he feels ugly arounds us, and a person w/ less money or education may feel degraded in our presence in spite of the polite pleasantries that may come out of our mouths. Impure and inappropriate thots can be felt as well. Our hearts and our thots are not as hidden from people as we may think and hope, for they truly do determine what we give off, ie, our hearts and our thots make us smell good, or not so good.

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Dec. 14, 14

He answered, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind" and, "Love your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10:27

Daddy-God can only use those parts of ourselves that we give over to Him. Since He is the epitome of a true gentleman, He won't touch, change or use those areas that we don't want to give over to Him. So consequently, we end up not liking those parts of who we are that we won't give over to Him. We can't truly Love others when we don't enjoy who we are, meaning that we can only Love others as much as we Love who we are... and thus we can only truly Love others to the extent of what we've given over to Him.

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Dec. 9, 14

Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also? But now as for what is inside you - be generous to the poor, and everything will be clean for you. Luke 11:39-41

The state and attitudes of our hearts trump every good thing we may say or do. Even tho we may be polite and cordial and be a dear to everyone, Daddy-God is looking at how we truly think and feel. I remember not feeling as much love for a girl that I needed to have, so I asked Daddy-God to help me to fall in Love w/ her as He was in Love w/ her. That summer, I worked as a secretary at a camp in Malibu, and we had camper who was deaf and who also looked strikingly like the girl I was wanting to fall in Love w/. This camper's being deaf pulled on my heart of compassion so much that I couldn't help adoring her and Loving her sweetness, which then led to my absolutely falling in Love w/ the girl I was wanting to Love.

We are on this planet to Love on people and to pour ourselves out for them. It's not that hard to do, and if we're not feeling the Love or other Kingdom attitudes, all we have to do is ask Him to give us His Heart and Love for whoever it is we need to Love.

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Dec. 7, 14

When Peter came into the house, Jesus was the first to speak. What do you think, Simon? He asked. From whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes - from their own children or from others? "From others," Peter answered. Then the children are exempt, Jesus said to him. But so that we may not cause offense, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for My tax and yours. Matthew 17:25-27

We are to not cause offense whenever possible. Just bc we realize that we're the favorite sons and daughters of the King of the universe doesn't mean we can/should be bratty and walk in the spirit of entitlement or the spirit of stupid. That's not Love... the spirit of stupid pretty much encompasses all things that are not Love.

If we are truly the favorite sons and daughters of the King of the universe, we will be patient and kind.
We will not envy.
We will not boast.
We will not be proud.
We will not dishonor others.
We will not be self-seeking.
We will not be easily angered.
We will keep no record of wrongs bc Love forgives and forgets.
We will not delight in evil, but we will rejoice with the truth.
We will always protect, always trust, always hope, and always persevere.
We will always believe in others.
We will never give up. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
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Dec. 5, 14

The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. Matthew 10:24

This really stirred my spirit and even jolted me a bit as I read it. If Jesus, the God of the universe, humbled Himself and served in the lowest capacity, how can we possibly see anything as being beneath us? How can we have the audacity to see ourselves as being above the task at hand, especially if it's for someone else? And considering that Jesus gave His life to save our skins, how can we not do every single thing that we do out of our Love and awe for Him?

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Dec. 1, 14

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

Acting and speaking in healthy ways will eventually bring others into healthy behaviors and responses if they choose to continue being around us. To maintain strong and powerful relationships, it's also imperative to set healthy boundaries, but this never has to be hurtful or rejecting. Reacting to others' unhealthiness only brings us into their unhealthy whirlwind. My best friend's dad never reacted to my peculiar behaviors, so his healthy responses to me allowed my heart to heal and change. I eventually learned healthy and proper behaviors, and I even learned how to set healthy boundaries w/out it being hurtful or rejecting. Saying no doesn't have to hurt. If we set our boundaries w/out apologies in an honoring and respectful way, such as w/ a positive invite at the end, it can leave the person feeling loved and secure, i.e. "I can't do this w/ you, but hey! let's go do this!" or "I can't do that right now. Let's do it in an hour."

Here's a story of how I learned some of these things. Early in my journey of healing, part of the healing process was learning to trust my treasure's dad. One afternoon, I had gone up to see him, but when I saw he wasn't there, the fear of having messed up and being so weird that he wished he'd never met me overwhelmed me as I went back home. I knew that I had to go to choir that night bc I was meeting friends there, so I hardened my heart bc I knew the sweet safe relationship was done. We walked into the small amphitheater and sat down, and I mustered all the strength and hardness I had to look up and glare at him. I glared at him long and hard bc it would hurt less if he gave up on me bc I was nasty to him. W/out missing a beat, he smiled back at me and said w/ a wink, "It's good to see you, Jessica." Immediately, I felt the hardness melt away and I felt stronger too, Maybe he didn't regret knowing me. He seemed to smile extra encouragingly during practice, then after practice he came over to me, "I wasn't in my office all day today, was I?"
I shook my head, wondering how he knew I'd come by.
"I was in boring meetings all day. I'll be in my office tomorrow if you want to come by."

How did he know why I had flipped out and had hardened my heart? He didn't apologize bc he had done nothing wrong; instead, he let me know why he wasn't there, hinting that it wasn't all that fun, as if to say that he wasn't avoiding me. Then he left the conversation w/ an invitation to come back, try him again when he could be there. ~ That has shown me how to set healthy boundaries w/ people while letting them know that I still like them and am not rejecting them. Then... if I know that I have set healthy boundaries w/ honor, pure love and encouragement, I must realize that I've done my part and their response is their responsibility, not mine.

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Nov. 27, 14

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

As I continue to grieve, Daddy-God's been dropping treasured gems into my lap, and while I was thanking Him for these today, I saw this.. The enemy may be able to destroy something, but when the dust settles, he can't destroy the gems that rise out of the ashes.

Daddy-God has been making my treasure's love for me so real. My best friend loved me in a way that I think most people dream about, the kind of heart and soul love that cannot cause pain or grief to come into the eyes of the one who is loved. His love for me ran deep and seemed to be something he couldn't ignore. He avoided causing me pain, was never once angry w/ me and didn't want me to ever be distressed about things I didn't do well, tho he did sharpen things in my character that needed it. I loved how he could sharpen me in a way that didn't hurt, somehow his sharpening was always encouraging and built me up each time. It blows me away to remember how aware he was of every move I made and just about every breath I took... and it was incomprehensible when I realized than he had fallen in love w/ me - something I never saw him fall out of. He was proud of me as well. So I've been thanking Daddy-God for giving me the experience of being loved this deeply, and I will have these memories for the rest of eternity.

Good words to an amazing song -

Thru the storm He is Lord, Lord of all (Cornerstone, 2011)...

All of the enemy's victories are temporary, and all of Daddy-God's victories are permanent. What happened to my best friend and dearest love was only a temporary victory for the enemy, bc he is now permanently worshipping to his heart's content in Daddy-God's Presence!

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Nov. 24, 14

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

We've all seen Daddy-God provide food, clothes, housing, finances and other physical things, but He also gives us what our hearts and spirits need. Thanksgiving is this week, and I know that I will never be able to enjoy it or any other holiday w/ the family Daddy-God had intended me to be a part of. I always worship my way thru the pain, but this morning was proving to be a hard morning, and the intensity of the pain made it almost impossible to worship and declare while I got ready for work. So I asked Daddy-God to show me that He is good. Life has been endlessly hard and fułl of pain except for those few precious years I had w/ my best friend, and even tho I fully know that He is good, I was really needing to see it. - On my way to work, my driver found out I do web design and asked me to work w/ him in the creating of the website for his business! Thank You Daddy!!

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Nov. 19, 14

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective... pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people. James 5:16 & Ephesians 6:18

How can we tell if what we're sensing or feeling is Holy Spirit or the enemy? For one thing, Holy Spirit is always full of peace, hope and expectation of good. There is never any minute particle of fear, worry, anxiety, etc. in Him bc He has nothing to fear, worry or be anxious about. He's not fearful or worried about anything, bc nothing is beyond His ability to fix! Also, Love is always and only ever good, which is why there is nothing to fear or be anxious about in Love. Therefore, if we're fearing something or are anxious and worried about something, then we're sensing what the enemy wants to have happen, not what Daddy-God wants, so fear and its relatives are never worth paying attention to. In actuality, inaction, passivity, or lack of support bc of fear or feelings devoid of peace can actually end up being a partnership w/ the enemy for his plans to succeed. If we do feel fear or concern about something, we must ask Holy Spirit for His Perspective until all fear, worry, anxiety disappears and we're filled w/ a peace and exciting hope that we can pray into.

I've experienced how not praying, encouraging and supporting someone bc of fear can enable the enemy to permanently keep that person from living out their God-ordained destiny. So how can we know how to pray and support so that our actions/responses or inaction don't enable the enemy's plans to succeed? - We can't make decisions or do or not do something out of fear, worry or anxiety, for one. Once when I shared w/ someone a little about a situation, the person said that fear was gripping them regarding the situation and wouldn't pray for what I had asked. True to what the person was sensing, the situation wasn't pretty, but the not-pretty things weren't what the person was assuming they were. Some time later, I was on the flip side when a friend shared something that she felt she was suppose to do. I encouraged her in it and supported her even tho something felt icky in my spirit. Then in my prayer time I asked Daddy-God to expose whatever it was that felt icky or whatever it was in me that might be off if I was sensing wrong (bc we don't know everything or sense everything correctly, and it's important to be able to acknowledge this). My friend ended up not getting into the situation, but she thanked me for supporting her.

Since I wouldn't share details about my situation, only a couple of people ever prayed w/ me here and there over the years. Each of those who did pray w/ me felt Daddy-God in the situation bc of their own experiences w/ Him, yet each one ended up having things happen in their lives that left them w/out the time or energy to continue praying w/ me. One friend's sister and another close-by friend herself had even experienced some of the same exact things that I wasn't sharing, so they both fully understood the importance of praying until things changed bc that is how each had gotten out of their situations. But after a month or so of praying w/ me, the close-by became so insanely busy she even told me that she didn't understand what was happening, and the other friend slowly became overwhelmed by her own circumstances to keep praying w/ me. No one seemed to be able to consistently and steadfastly press in w/ me in prayer for my best friend breakthru until it came, and his life ended before its time, which has also altered my own destiny. . . It makes me wonder what might have happened if there had been support by people who fully believed in us and were actively pursuing supporting and praying w/ me until he had breakthru?

Pastor Bill said once that just bc Daddy-God shows us something doesn't mean He'll show others, and we need to be obedient to what He's shown us whether others support us or not. That is also true when Daddy-God speaks to someone about something and doesn't fill us in. We shouldn't have to know the details to pray for and support someone, bc we should believe in each other whether we know a lot or a little. Just bc Daddy-God hasn't told us what He's told the person doesn't mean that it's not Him, and we still need to be encouraging and supportive so that His Will can be accomplished, not the enemy's. Maybe this is why our purpose for being on this planet is to Love, support and pour ourselves out for others...their destinies depend on our Love, prayer, and support.

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Nov. 16, 14

God said to Moses, I AM Who I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: "I AM has sent me to you." God also said to Moses, Say to the Israelites, "The Lord, the God of your fathers - the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob - has sent me to you." Exodus 3:14-15

Daddy-God is all about building a relationship w/ us, not a religion (formulas/patterns that don't need Him to be sustained), which I think was the basis for Paul's message tonight. He talked about how Daddy-God's Plan A was for Moses to trust Him enough to speak and use his voice (Exodus 3), and His Plan B was for Moses to use his rod (Exodus 4). He allowed Moses to use his rod as he began leading the people and even told him strike the rock the first time the Israelites grumbled about being thirsty. Then after showing how abundant His provisions were, He wanted Moses to trust Him enough to use his voice to speak to the rock. Moses' anger, however, caused him to use religion, ie follow a pattern for provision (hitting the rock for water), when he should have been secure enough in his relationship w/ Daddy-God to go w/ His Plan A of using his voice. His choice to continue to follow Plan B instead of trusting Daddy-God enough to go by Plan A kept him from being able to enter the Promised Land.

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Nov. 11, 14

All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. 1 Corinthians 6:12

I found this intriguing as I was asking Daddy-God why being around people who talk big but do and/or produce little is so draining. He brought to mind how people who face challenges and overcome them, inspire those around them to persevere, be strong and overcome. Similarly, when we slack off or give in (eat that cookie or watch that movie for comfort or such) instead of going to Him for strength, comfort, etc., it actually pulls others down bc it comes from a negative or non-Kingdom mind-set. Every decision we make affects those around us in a positive and inspiring way or in a way that weakens and pulls others down.

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Nov. 6, 14

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

A few days ago, my team leader noted that I had been covering someone's shift four weeks in a row... I had begun to feel a bit taken advantage of but hate to not be helpful, so I was feeling out what I should do when my team leader talked to me about it. She thanked me for filling in then told me she'd take care of it. It was so nice to be appreciated and to feel my giving nature was honored bc I wasn't told to stop being giving. I love how I am appreciated for being giving and honored/respected for it in how those over me work to make sure that I'm not taken advantage of. So what's the difference between honor and control? Here are a few thots..

Honor is to regard w/ great admiration. Honor in the Kingdom protects Kingdom values like selfless love, serving, giving, thinking of others, as well as keeping one's self healthy.
Control is limiting or maintaining influence or authority over another's behavior. Subtle control is limiting right/positive behaviors by permitting inappropriate/negative behaviors to persist.

Honor doesn't take away someone's choices, but control (both subtle and blatant control) limits or takes away someone's choices.

Control would ask the other staff to have someone else cover for them and not to ask me to cover for them any more bc I'm feeling used/taken advantage of.
Honor notices that I might be being taken advantage of and appreciates what I've done while asking the other staff to be responsible about working their scheduled shifts or asking them to discuss a schedule that's better for them.

Honor finds a gracious way to curb disrespectful behavior while encouraging and promoting appropriate behaviors. Subtle control allows disrespectful behavior, expecting others who have less authority to deal w/ it if it bothers them. For instance, in a meeting held to help a person or a cause where there are people who are talking off-topic, honor would continually keep the attention where it should be, "Let's hear what (person who cares or who the meeting is about) has to say." A leader w/ control/little respect issues would say or shrug, "Don't look at me. If you want the focus to be on you, then you get them to quit talking."

Honor seeks the good of others by valuing and honoring what is right, good, and appropriate, while giving choices for changing disrespectful behavior. Control is self-seeking and doesn't honor or value what is right, good, and appropriate, but allows it to be shutdown by not protecting it and requiring others w/ less authority, to step up.

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Nov. 3, 14

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

I've been wondering what my is purpose now? For fifteen and a half years, Daddy-God focused on shaping me into being the wife, and later the mommy, that He wanted me to be, but now that my best friend is no longer on the planet and I can only be a distant mommy, I've been wondering why I must remain here. I know that we're all here to Love others and pour ourselves out for them, but yesterday morning during communion, He moved me to release the self-giving unity and oneness that my best friend and I had to the newly married couple I was sitting w/. This is why I'm still here..

Whatever Daddy-God gives us is definitely for our enjoyment, but it's also for releasing to others! and if the enemy destroys that which He meant for us, part of the justice gained comes by releasing it to others so that countless others have the gift that Daddy-God had originally given to us! So I am releasing what we had as Holy Spirit nudges me to in addition to Loving others and pouring myself out for them. I have a renewed purpose! Happy Birthday, my Love!!

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Oct. 31, 14

They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the Truth; Your Word is Truth. As You sent Me into the world, I have sent them into the world. John 17:16-18

We've all heard this, but how is it really played out? How do we immerse ourselves in the world to be a witness w/out getting sucked into the things that hurt Daddy-God's heart? The answer is to bring the Kingdom into every atmosphere we walk into. For instance, my best friend wanted to play his (secular) music in bars, and his music was so infused w/ Holy Spirit that it would have broken chains and shattered strongholds. To do this, he would have needed to be sufficiently covered in prayer at all times by a steady group of people who were devoted to him, and also have people there praying for him and for Holy Spirit to come and do His Work in people's lives...Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done here on earth as it is in heaven. We can do many, many, many things in the world, even dress up for Halloween, but we just need to do what we do from His Presence and w/ His Holy Spirit.

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Oct. 28, 14

But He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness. ... For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9 & 10

It makes me laugh to be reminded exactly how much we're suppose to pull on Holy Spirit to give us what we need to be able to do those things we need to do. For instance, if we're not good w/ words or knowing how to encourage people, we can ask Daddy-God to give us the gift of encouragement and ask Holy Spirit for the words that the person we're w/ needs to hear. If our sensitivities overwhelm us, we can ask Him to strengthen us (not desensitize us), so that we can bring the Kingdom change into our surroundings that we've perceived is needed. If we're laid back and not as self-motivated as some, we can ask Him to work into us self-motivation and responsibility. If we're not a detailed person, we can ask Him to make us a detailed person w/ grace, so we can stay on top of things responsibly while giving people grace. Remaining not good at something that people need from us, especially when it has to do Loving and encouraging them, means that we're not pulling on Holy Spirit to the extent that He wants us to. Our lives should be all about pouring ourselves out for others.

Posted by Jessica at 10:30 PM.        
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Oct. 26, 14

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Reminiscing about someone's sin, or assumed sin, is never a part of the process that Daddy-God uses to make good out of the situation. So why not partner w/ Daddy-God by looking for the good and speaking that out?

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Oct. 19, 14

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

As I've been asking Daddy-God to help me make sense of why people look down on others who aren't like them, He showed me how people's own individual personality, education, likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, and value systems are not the universal standard as most seem to think. This means that differences in others are never indications of their inferiority...if they are, then we have an identity issue. (When our identity is in being Daddy-God's favorite girl or boy, we won't have the need to feel superior to others...funny how having our identity in being His favorite fixes so many attitude problems.) My slurred speech and crooked gait doesn't make me less human just as someone else's delays doesn't make them less important. A person's sensitivities aren't indicators that this person is delicate, weak, immature or uneducated, instead, they show how Daddy-God wants to use that person. For example, I'm sensitive to words spoken to me, as they either really strengthen me or deeply wound me. When words are wounding, I work thru healing w/ Daddy-God and learn what I could say that would be encouraging and healing instead of wounding. So my sensitivity to spoken words isn't a sign of me being delicate, weak, immature or uneducated, as some may think, but it enables Him to use me to speak words of healing and encouragement bc I understand how deeply words can wound. I have found that those who are grounded in who they are in Him, honor and value my sensitivities bc they're secure in who they are. Once we're secure in who we are, we can celebrate each other's strengths and strengthen each other's weaknesses.

Posted by Jessica at 11:55 PM.        
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Oct. 16, 14

[Speak] only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

Since we are to encourage each other as long as it is called "Today" and should only be saying what Daddy-God is saying, we'll only say good things bc Daddy-God is only good and therefore doesn't say bad things. I'm reading The Big Fisherman and laughed when I came to this - It's a good idea to only speak words that taste good in case they have to be eaten.

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Oct. 12, 14

"Love your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10:27

This weekend was our Compass Retreat,and I was awed again to watch the honor value and respect shown to clients, admin, and staff alike..I never saw a distinction or hierarchy shown by the leaders. A church service was offered this morning to those who wanted to go, and the message was on learning to like and value ourselves and who we are the way that Daddy-God likes and values us and who we are. - Because again, we can't Love, honor, value, respect or enjoy others and their uniquenesses until we can Love, honor, value, respect and enjoy ourselves and our own uniquenesses as He does!

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Oct. 7, 14

Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Matthew 18:19-20 & Galatians 6:2

The law of Christ is Loving others. I understand the context of these verses, but we truly do need each others' Love and support in order to do what we were created to do. There are five things that I have found are necessary in order to step into and walk out our destinies in Him.

Conviction in our spirits
Confirmation in the Word
Covering, accountability and agreement w/ a rightly aligned authority figure
Prayer, declarations, and pressing in (and fasting at times)
Supportive and praying people

I remember Pastor Bill saying that just bc Daddy-God tells us something, doesn't mean He'll clue others in, therefore, even if He hasn't shown us what He's told someone else, it doesn't mean that what they heard wasn't God and that we shouldn't support them. If we do sense something's not right, we need to pray for it to be brought into the light while still supporting the person, bc relationships and believing in people is more important maintaining the right to say what we think! Also, we are not Daddy-God, so we do not see everything. ;') - Sometimes accountability and agreement w/ a rightly aligned authority figure brings things to pass; sometimes merely believing Daddy-God's Promises brings them to pass; sometimes prayer, declarations, and pressing in (and fasting at times) brings promises to pass; and sometimes it's the support of a wolf pack that is required for things to happen and/or not be destroyed by the enemy.

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Oct. 2, 14

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21

As I was thinking on things earlier today, this thot came to me: the reason why Daddy-God wants us to take our thots captive and to think on good things is that when we're changing a thot pattern, as w/ lifestyle changes, we have to replace the bad way of thinking w/ a good pattern of thinking. Good patterns of thinking are thinking about whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, excellent or praiseworthy.(Philippians 4:8) For instance, if we're critical of others, we can think on their good qualities every time a negative thot about them comes to mind.

Good patterns of thinking are also a crucial part of the healing process. Early on in my journey of healing from things in my childhood, a lot of healing came from learning to trust my best friend's dad and to interact w/ him in a healthy way out of that trust. In order to do this and to change my heart and behavior patterns, I had to change my thot patterns. This meant that I had to think and "dream" about looking confidently into his face, talking comfortably w/ him, and even making him laugh when my natural wounded pattern of thinking was to think about shrinking away and hiding every time I saw him. We must take our thots captive and replace/overcome the wrong ones w/ good ones, bc what we think about, we end up acting out.

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Sept. 28, 14

Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you.' Matthew 7:22-23

This morning, Kris talked about Daddy-God only knowing us according to what we give Him to know, which is why He'll say to some, "I never knew you." I asked Him tonight for a word, and someone from work came to pray w/ me when we were told to pray for our neighbor. We gave each other words, and for me she saw an onion w/ deep deep roots growing down and green shoots growing up towards the Son, then she saw that as I spent time in His Presence, layers of the onion came off. As we give all of who we are over to Daddy-God for Him to see and know, He can actually know us and use us! and when we bare our hearts and souls to Him (give Him permission) for Him to heal, change and make us new, He honors our desire to be changed. This means that He will begin to bring up issues for us to deal w/ and work thru w/ Him, and it also means that merely spending time w/ Him will shed layers and parts of us that we need to be rid of.

Each part of us and every place in our hearts that we do open up to Him for Him to know and experience, He will fully know, fully experience and be able to fully use! On the other hand, whatever parts of us and places in our hearts that we do not give to Him to know and experience, He will never know, experience or be able to use.

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Sept. 24, 14

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19

It always hurts so much to feel that people don't care, esp. bc I know they truly do care and I beat myself up over not being able to feel it. This morning, Daddy-God showed me that it's not that people don't love or care; it's that people can only love and care as deeply as they think they go, and since I go 20,000 leagues deep, few people can love or care at that depth. Deep is not synonymous w/ depressed; it's just deep. Almost twenty years ago, I had asked Daddy-God to deepen and enlarge the well of my heart so I could feel w/ Him as deeply as my human frame could handle, and He did. The deeper we go, the richer and fuller everything is, but it also hurts more when others can't understand, connect or receive love at that depth, usually due to wounds that have caused them to put up walls or use and abuse the love being poured into them. It helped me again to understand how much it hurts Daddy-God when we can't or won't let Him Love on us down to our toes bc of our issues...and how it makes Him fly when we work thru our issues and become free enough to drink Him in!

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Sept. 21, 14

[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:7

Pastor Bill spoke tonight, and this caught my attention. "There are some people who reject a story bc the story is unbelievable, but it's true. And some will believe a story that's totally believable, and it's a lie. How can we tell the difference? Only one of the two releases Presence. Love has a unique bent in that Love believes all things...but it's not gullible." Love strongly desires to believe in people.

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Sept. 18, 14

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. .. et your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Luke 6:4 & Matthew 5:15

Feeling pain and working through it is legal, marinating in it is not. Meaning, pain is not wrong, but letting it turn into bitterness, hatred, negativity, criticism, etc. is. Two years ago, I wrote on being real and not wearing an opaque mask, bc Light cannot shine thru an opaque mask. When we stuff our struggles and hurts and slap a happy-I'm-fine! smile on our face, that's called wearing an opaque mask. So how do we work thru our issues w/out dragging others down? Be open and real while marinating in His Presence. As we are open and real w/ Him and those around us while marinating in His Presence, we can work thru issues and ride out each wave of pain w/ Him w/out bringing others down bc they only see Him shining thru us. I remember hitting bottom in college as I was working thru all that had happened to me during my childhood, and Daddy-God kept after me to feel it all and to ride the wave of pain, sorrow, violation, etc. out all the way so I wouldn't have to re-visit each issue (that's different from sulking/wallowing in it). Most of my college years seemed to be me riding out wave after wave after wave of pain, sorrow, violation, etc., but the weird part was that on my lowest days, people would thank me for being an encouragement and for shining His joy! All I can conclude from that is that when we're real and keep our focus on Him, we become transparent such that Daddy-God can shine thru us and lift others up no matter what we're going thru.

Posted by Jessica at 11:44 PM.        
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Sept. 14, 14

If you hold to my teaching, ... Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:31-32

As I was cutting up an apple for our veggie drink this afternoon, I thot of how people often remove the skin of so many fruits and vegetables when the skin is often where most of the vitamins and cancer-fighting nutrients are. I found it intriguing that the very part of a veggie or fruit that's often the most nutritious is the very part that so many people remove to make it look and/or taste better. How often do we do this with Truth when it doesn't come in an appealing package? We either don't eat/ingest Truth at all, or we peel away the distasteful parts that will actually give us the most nutrition, healing and freedom.

Posted by Jessica at 11:25 PM.        
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Sept. 11, 14

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. Proverbs 27:1

If we knew what was going to happen in each person's life that we know, how would that effect the way we treat them and Love them?

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Sept. 7, 14

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord .. has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve ... They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. Isaiah 61:1-4

Pastor Bill spoke on these verses this morning, and what caught my attention was how he talked about Daddy-God using those of us who are the most broken, devastated and grieving to rebuild cities and restore places of ruin. This mixed w/ the fact that we are on this ball of water and land to Love and pour ourselves out for others has given me a task to focus on. It intrigued me as well to be reminded again that our deepest places of brokenness will become our greatest strengths, so that we can be oaks of righteousness for the display of His splendor.

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Sept. 4, 14

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Galatians 5:16

The Compass staff meeting was tonight, and I'm endlessly amazed at how full my bucket is when I leave, even if I'm just going in to have my paychecks copied. They honor and value my detail-oriented, pouring-out personality w/out using or abusing it, and it feels heavenly every time. Every personality trait has its good points and its not so good points. The perfectionism in a detail-oriented person helps tasks to be done w/ excellence, and having the details about one's life remembered can make one feel valued and loved. On the other hand, perfectionism (usually accompanied by control) and attention to details can also make other people feel overwhelmed, inadequate and useless. This is why we need to blossom each of our personality traits fully and let lose, but only under Holy Spirit's guidance and covering. For instance, my detailed-oriented personality should be let lose to produce excellence, then curbed w/ His Spirit and His Grace so that others only feel honored and Loved because positive details about them are remembered, not the negative ones. Also, my attention to detail and drive for excellence should never cause them to feel inadequate, useless or inferior bc of how differently they do things.

Posted by Jessica at 11:58 PM.        
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Aug. 31, 14

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels(head), but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy(head) and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge(head), and if I have a faith that can move mountains(head), but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor(head) and give over my body to hardship that I may boast(head), but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient(heart), love is kind(heart). It does not envy(heart), it does not boast(heart), it is not proud(heart). It does not dishonor others(heart), it is not self-seeking(heart), it is not easily angered(heart), it keeps no record of wrongs(heart). Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth(heart). It always protects(heart), always trusts(heart), always hopes(heart), always perseveres(heart). ... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13

Last night my treasure's dad joined him after a horribly painful battle w/ cancer, so the two safest people on the planet who truly got me are now happy in Daddy-God's Presence. I don't want to have to face life without them or the rest of their family, but I am on this "ball of water and land" to Love people, and so this is what I am going to do. Eric talked this morning about very thing, that we are here to Love, and we are to Love from our hearts, not from our heads.

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Aug. 28, 14

As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

Ever since I was little, I've been drawn to helping others work thru inner healing as well as just simply loving people. I always loved the stories where a boy rescued an animal from a trap and then patiently nurtured it, even tho it growled and snapped at him, until the animal learned to trust him. He didn't love the animal bc of its responses back to him that made him feel good; he loved it bc it needed him and also bc of the life he saw in it...kind of like how Daddy-God Loves us. I've lost two precious people and am not the easiest person to love and be around right now, which reminds me of the time I gave one of them a "go to hell" glare one night at choir practice bc I was overwhelmed in my own journey of healing. W/out missing a beat, he responded, "It's good to see you, Jessica." w/ a special smile and wink that strengthened and softened my heart to keep yielding to the healing process. Are we loving to Love or for what we might get back? When we love for the sake of Loving, the non-loving responses back are easier to bear.

Posted by Jessica at 7:33 PM.        
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Aug. 24, 14

People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

As I've been writing down stories of my best friend and treasure in an attempt to capture his incredible life of Love and pouring out, Daddy-God's interest in our motives and the purity of our hearts keeps leaping out at me. While wholesome speech is important, it's the purity of our hearts and motives that Daddy-God looks at. I knew he was checking me out before telling me how he felt about me, and some of the things he threw at me made me laugh. Once when we went BJ's Bar and Grill after church, he ordered beer, eyeing my response, then proceeded to tell me the four-letter word he had spoken while leading worship. It was so funny to me and made me laugh because it's the heart and motives behind words that make them good or bad, and his heart was so innocent and childlike that it made the four-letter word pure and innocent.

The nature of his heart was what also made him so good with children, and they in return provided a safe place for him to be his pouring out self. I loved how he put himself at their level and entered their world of play, and I loved how he valued the purity and innocence of their hearts. He said that they should be our teachers, not the other way around, because they are pure and know how to truly accept and Love others. The pure in heart see Daddy-God and value what He values, which is people and esp. children.

...if what we say or do is truly out of Love and it's hurtful, we'll be moved by Love to fix things and work on the relationship.

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Aug. 21, 14

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Sometimes.., getting into someone's loop is the very thing that will give them the strength to keep going, bc they know that someone else genuinely cares. Since we are on this ball of water and land to learn to Love and pour ourselves out, I think Daddy-God doesn't always tell us exactly what to do bc He's watching to see what our heart's response will be. What if we're too busy and our plates are too full w/ our own lives? Then we may have to ask Him to help us to organize it in. We weren't made to live life as fully and Kingdom-like as He intended it to be lived w/out His non-stop guidance and Help. (Hello?! Lol..)

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Aug. 17, 14

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8

Danny Silk talked tonight about being fierce, faithful, compassionate and not caring about what others think, which was along the lines of what I had been thinking about all afternoon. I was actually thinking about that thot on everyone being a unique color, and how people who are eccentric or are, as Danny Silk said, "that wild and fierce you" can see things about Daddy-God that others don't. In order to fully, fiercely and wildly be who we were made to be, we must deal w/ the issues that dull the uniquenesses of our hues. For some reason, those who deal w/ their issues inadvertently bring others to an awareness of their own issues, which is not always appreciated and therefore may be why many eccentric or fiercely wild people are labeled as weird or freaks.

When we deal w/ our issues, we are able to see Daddy-God more clearly for who He is, and this, of course, made me think of my treasure bc he was very fiercely himself, very child-like, honest and pure. He also didn't care what others thot of him, and as a result, he saw Daddy-God in ways I thot about but had never heard anyone else talk about. Anyone who is fiercely themselves w/ all purity will see Daddy-God in ways conformers never will, but the cost is heavy as is the pressure to conform by the use of many different things, including the use of labels like freak, psycho, weird, deranged.

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Aug. 14, 14

Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:5

On the way to work this morning, Daddy-God brought together two concepts that I had never thot of as going together: Love and being organized. It tantalized my brain as I realized what a rich and deep topic this would be for my best friend and me to get into. So why would being organized be such an important part of Love? Then He showed me how whirling, confusion, busyness and chaos all steal our attention and distract us away from the awareness of those around us and what is going on in their lives. It made me think of what an amazing example my friend was at loving her children. She had quadruplets, and she was organized enough to know each one of them, how each one connected, and how each one felt loved and valued; she was the most loving/feely/empathetic and organized person I've ever met. She could be reading to the one in her lap, see her little girl's princess play and enjoy it w/ her, look over and be into one of the boy's fascinations w/ his choo choo trains while keeping the curious boy focused on building something so he wouldn't get into things he wasn't suppose to be touching. While doing all of this, she also had tact w/ me, encouraged me and carried on conversations w/ me that didn't bring pain. As w/ everything, if organization isn't a strong point, Holy Spirit can make it a strength. Or if being Loving, feely and empathetic isn't a strong point, Holy Spirit can make it a strength. Being organized is definitely an essential part of Love.

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Aug. 11, 14

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm ... If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God [and life] with freedom and confidence. Galatians 5:1 & 25 & Ephesians 3:12

I had a dream this morning where I was walking along a dirt road that was covered by a canopy of trees with a chain link fence on my right. I was walking half on and half off the sidewalk as cars were speeding by me going in the opposite, and I felt very strong, confident and bold in who I was as I realized that I was also very tall. I could have been eight feet tall because I towered over the passing cars. Then I saw a van speeding towards me and swerve onto the sidewalk I was walking on and off of, so I in my strong, confident and bold state of being and attitude, I easily, confidently and safely sidestepped the oncoming van.

I continued on down the sidewalk w/ exhilarating confidence and joy and turned in at the gate, where I came under a huge white tent. People were setting up for a big event, and I walked along the back then up along the far side wall of the tent. Electrical chords were lying everywhere, and my feet danced over and around them while zigzagging between people and tables with unconcerned ease. When I reached the front, my feet came into another mess of electrical chords that were plugged into different things on one of the tables, so I confidently moved a few of the impeding chords aside and hopped out. Then I woke up, and it was 7:44.

I felt like Daddy-God was showing me how we can move thru life and not get tangled up in messes when we walk confidently in who we are as His favorite sons and daughters.

Posted by Jessica at 9:55 PM.        
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Aug. 9, 14

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. Romans 8:5

When our highest passions, interests, and places of identity are in anything outside of Daddy-God, it will limit our circle of friends as well as who we are able to relate to and encourage. This means we must work thru our issues and allow Him to heal us until He is first in every area. If our highest passions, interests, and places of identity are in our high paying jobs, having a spouse, children/grandchildren, houses, cars, etc., what do we talk about and enjoy w/ those who don't have many or any of those things? Having Him be our highest passion, interest, and place of identity will then give us his Heart for others and their lives, interests and passions when they are different from ours. This is what pouring into others looks like. This is what Love looks like.

Posted by Jessica at 8:53 AM.        
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Aug. 5, 14

Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. John 13:34 & Romans 12:9

If the final question truly is did I learn to Love, then I want to know what Love looks like every moment in every situation I'm in. Jesus puts His entire being into everything He does for me. Do I put everything I have into every interaction I have w/ others and in everything I do for them? Do I pour myself out for others, value them and encourage them like He endlessly does for me?

Posted by Jessica at 11:48 PM.        
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Aug. 1, 14

For God does speak - now one way, now another - though no one perceives it. Job 33:14

As the pain from loss has been overwhelming and has taken everything out of me lately, it's intrigued me to see Daddy-God's gentle and subtle ways of keeping me moving forward. He's given me projects to work on and think about in between working thru everything that's happened. It's comforting that He allows me to feel shattered and sunk beyond help in the midst of keeping my shattered self moving forward by giving me things to do. For the past couple of days He's begun to remind me of stories, like how Kris grew up w/out his daddy, to remind me of how things can still turn out for the good.. and today I saw the Spiderman movie. Daddy-God speaks in quiet and subtle ways...how often do to we pick up on His words of Love and Hope?

Posted by Jessica at 11:37 PM.        
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July 29, 14

Love one another as I have loved you. Do everything in love .. with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, John 13:34, 1 Corinthians 16:14 & Colossians 3:23

My treasure exemplified this so amazingly well, and when he came before Daddy-God, I'm not sure he had to be asked that final question, if he had learned to Love. Every single thing I ever saw him do came from his toes. When he led his band or the worship team, he would twirl around and connect w/ each person as he let them know where he wanted to go...he led from love and relationship/connection of his heart. He poured himself into each person he talked to, giving what he had to help them, and he valued and embraced each one's uniquenesses. Everything I saw him do came from his heart, not his head. That is Love, and yes, he Loved well. Is everything we say and do based in Love and come from a heart of Love?

Posted by Jessica at 11:10 PM.         Post a comment.       1 Comment Yes Jessica! Our whole life can be a worship unto Him. The attitude we choose to respond with to life's situations can become a worship unto Him, or as you said, a sacrifice of praise. Your life is so beautiful in Him, the Love of your life.       1 Like

July 27, 14

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. ... God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.Acts 4:32-35

Eric talked this morning about doing life together, meshing together, and being IN each other's lives in a way that we meet each other's needs. I couldn't help thinking of my best friend bc he did this better than anyone I've ever met. He meshed w/ people and poured his heart and all that he had into those around him, w/ an end goal of deep connection and oneness...more than anyone I ever knew.

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July 19, 14

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 16:10

Someone stayed overnight last night, and as we talked this morning, they told me about the dreams they had just had. In one dream, none of this person's friends knew this person's true and rightful name except for the one boy this person didn't like, so this person had to hang out w/ him. As this person hung out w/ the boy, one by one this person's friends began to call this person by their true and rightful name. Quite often, the significant things in our lives start out small and even distasteful.

Posted by Jessica at 11:25 AM.        
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July 15, 14

Then the Angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said, "Get up and eat some more, for there is a long journey ahead of you." Give us each day our daily bread. 1 Kings 19:7 & Matthew 6:11/Luke 11:3

Today, I was thinking about the interaction I had w/ Pastor Bill Sunday night as I was looking for the person I usually see and have learned to trust. A few moments each week, I have a place where I am free to be my all-out loving self, and it is honored instead of pushed away, cut short and/or excused. It will be several weeks before I can go on a Sunday night again, so I wanted to find my person to encourage and also to have a fresh healthy and honoring interaction under my belt as I face a long three weeks ahead. I turned the corner, and there was Pastor Bill, so I hugged him instead.

Every single day, Daddy-God gives us things, words, people, etc. as food to keep us going along our journeys. However, it is up to us to internalize (chew and swallow) each one so that we can draw from them to keep going, to change unhealthy mind-sets, to endure the stretching, to learn new healthy patterns, and so on. Changing, growing and enduring are all intentional processes...it doesn't just "happen".

Posted by Jessica at 10:36 PM.        
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July 11, 14 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

Someone was telling me this morning about something they're looking into and the fear they have about it. Well, since perfect Love casts out fear and Daddy-God IS perfect Love, that means that He casts out fear, which means that fear isn't a tactic He keeps around to use w/ us. This may be the only formula He goes by since He's all about relationship... Relationship w/ Him and trusting Him w/ no fear bc we know He's good makes Him really happy, not going by religious formulas. However, He is not opposed to breaking His own rules, so here's the one formula that makes up who He is:

Daddy-God = Perfect Love = doesn't have, abide by, or use fear but drives out fear
Daddy-God = Good = only plans good things for us (Jer. 29:11)
Daddy-God = doesn't have, abide by, or use fear but drives out fear, and only plans good things for us

So if we have fear about something, and we know that fear is never from Daddy-God, then we need to find out what Daddy-God is saying about the situation and go w/ that. Some may say it's not fear, it's caution, intuition, concern, a mama's heart, etc. Okay, ... does it leave you feeling full of peace and hopeful w/ the anticipation of a good outcome? If not, then (again) we need to find out what Daddy-God is saying and go w/ that. "The End!"

Posted by Jessica at 9:30 PM.        
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July 8, 14

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him. Love never gives up. 1 John 4:18 & 1 Corinthians 13:7-8(TLB)

This morning, as I was wondering why a few people seem to make correct assumptions about me while others don't, I felt Holy Spirit showing me that it is bc of fear. Fear demoralizes, debilitates, disorganizes, distorts reality, warps perception, gives false self-confidence, procrastinates, avoids, and always assumes and/or expects the worst. This may be why fear causes us to misjudge/misread people and their thots, feelings and motives, so that we are unable to truly know the people Daddy-God gives us to do life w/. Love, on the other hand, encourages, strengthens, organizes, portrays reality accurately, straightens out perception, gives true self-confidence, works diligently to bring completion, faces things, takes on challenges, and always assumes and/or expects the best. This may be why Love enables us to believe in people and their thots, feelings and motives, so that we can truly know the people Daddy-God gives us to do life w/.

Posted by Jessica at 11:43 PM.        
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July 6, 14

continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose. Philippians 2:12 & 13

Opposing views aren't always contradictory. I wrote about this almost two years ago when I wrote about Hannah Hurnard's picture of how everyone sees a different side of Daddy-God and how embracing one another's experiences w/ Him and His Truth will give us a broader view of Who He is! True, each of us must always work out our own salvation and test the spirits (1 Jn 4:1) to keep ourselves in right alignment w/ Him, but there's so much more to Him! To me, He is all gentleness, partly bc of what I've been thru, and also bc He made me very sensitive for specific purposes. To one who needs structure, He is Structure, and to another who is "the class clown," He is Fun and Goofy. In coming to know those around us and Who He is to them, we gain a broader picture and understanding of Who He is and His beauty!

Last week, I wrote about how clumsy and powerless Peter was until he remembered that he was Peter Pan just like we are clumsy and powerless until we remember who we are as favorite sons and daughters of the King. Remembering that we are favorite sons and daughters of the King and the authority we have in Him raises us up and empowers us... A few days ago, a friend posted about the irresponsibility and immaturity that comes from the Peter Pan spirit. These may seem to be contradictory pictures, but they're not. They actually work together to form a clearer picture of how we need to be childlike in our faith and trust in Daddy-God and His Word, know how to play and have fun, but still be mature and responsible. Our thots and perspectives usually aren't the universal way things are, they're just one angle, and if we think they are universal, then maybe we're getting our identity from how our knowledge and right we think we are instead of from being Daddy-God's favorite...

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July 2, 14

I have given you authority .. to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, Luke 10:19 & Ephesians 2:6

Tonight, while we were watching Hook w/ my niece who was spending the night, I watched Peter blunder around w/ the Lost Boys whispering about him not remembering who he was, and it clicked. It was a perfect picture of how wimpy and wussy we are when we forget who we are as sons and daughters of the King. However, once Peter remembered that he was Peter Pan, he remembered how to fly, how to fight and wield a sword, and how to let loose and have fun. He also got his "inheritance" back. When we remember who we are as sons and daughters of the King and the authority that we have in Him, we can soar above the enemy and fight offensively w/ a confidence, strength and boldness that brings about victories and reclaims territories that have been lost. We also have fun in the process and become more and more childlike - trusting, carefree, playful, and full of hope and joy!

Posted by Jessica at 10:45 PM.        
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June 29, 14

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

A friend passed me tonight on her way out and said she was praying for what we had prayed about a few weeks ago. It boosted me out of my sludge enough for me to consciously realize that I can't give up...bc Daddy-God will restore my treasured family as He Promised. - - Caring for others can encourage them enough for them to be able to determine not to give up, which can change destinies and make history.

Posted by Jessica at 11:03 PM.        
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June 22, 14

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and Your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is trustworthy in all He promises and faithful in all He does. Psalm 145:13

Trust is trust. Whether you are the head of a huge business or a full-time mom, trust is trust. The same is true for those who have families, own things and have lots of responsibilities and those who only (appear to) have themselves to worry about, trust is still trust. Saying it's harder for one person to trust than another indicates that identity may be coming from number/size of responsibilities/problems, status, external importance, etc. instead of being a favorite daughter or son of the King.

Posted by Jessica at 11:30 PM.        
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June 20, 14

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with My loving eye on you. Psalm 32:8

As I was thinking and dreaming this morning, I realized that Daddy-God brought me, whose life's message is about keeping covenant, to Bethel, an environment that takes covenants very seriously. Then I saw myself as a tulip-shaped cup sitting inside a gigantic tulip-shaped bowl that was Bethel, and it intrigued me. I have felt so alone in my calling to keep the covenant I made sixteen and a half years ago, and He's brought me to Bethel, who takes covenants seriously and even made one on a larger scale when Bethel came into a marriage covenant w/ Iris Ministries. Kris also made a life-long covenant to support and serve Pastor Bill. Wow! The covenants we make before the Lord and before others are binding, and keeping our word is a big, big deal to Him. What I understood the tulips to mean is that He may put us in environments that are similar on a large scale to what He calls us to individually, possibly to encourage us and to show us how to walk things out that He's called us to do individually.

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June 17, 14

The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 1 Kings 19:7-8

Some time ago, I wrote about how Daddy-God gives us what we need to be where He wants us to be, but as w/ Elijah, He also gives us what we need for the journey ahead. I am facing a looming situation w/out a safe human (who 'gets' me) to face it w/. I'm not afraid, but I am very weary of the hard stuff and not having a human to face it all w /. So as I'm finding my strength and security in Him, I've also said, "Really Lord?" On Sun. I celebrated Daddy-God in the midst of my weariness, and Sun. night after the service, Pastor Bill stopped and talked to me. I knew it was food for the journey ahead.

Posted by Jessica at 9:13 PM.         Post a comment.

June 15, 14

I will be a Father to you, and you will be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:18

        Daddy-God
        Knows us to our core and takes us as we are (Ps. 139)
        Is always readily available (never ever too busy)
        Isn't angry w/ us
        Enjoys strength, confidence and boldness in us
        Likes to be pounced on
        Sings over us (Zeph. 3:17)
        Dances w/ us
        Loves to play w/ us, twirls us around, plays the best hide-and-seek
        Loves to laugh
        Has absolutely the best humor
        Lifts up the down trodden (Is. 61:7)
        Comforts the broken hearted (Ps. 147:3)
Things that hinder intimacy
Anger

Resistance

Hatred

Critical spirit

Pride

Unforgiveness









We don't have to get ourselves fixed or happy before we come before Him, just yielded and honest. No sin or experience is bigger than Daddy-God. Nothing makes Daddy-God reject us. The space between us and Him is in our court; the distance between us and Daddy-God is our choice bc He will never turn us away. Intimacy w/ Daddy-God is affected by attitudes not brokenness, pain, sorrow, grief or tears bc He always lifts up the down trodden and comforts the broken hearted.

Daddy-God is always waiting for us, to Love on us and to celebrate us. He knows us to our cores and takes us as we are all the time, bc He is always readily available, meaning He is never ever angry w/ us or too busy for us. He actually and truly enjoys it when we come to Him in strength, confidence and boldness, and He likes to be pounced on. Daddy-God loves loves Loves to dance w/ us, play w/ us, twirl us around, and He plays the best hide-and-seek. He also loves to laugh and has absolutely the best humor! Whether we feel close to Him or not, He sings over us. He is the best Daddy in the world, so Happy Daddy's Day!

Posted by Jessica at 11:50 PM.        
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June 11, 14

Above all, be careful what you think because your thoughts control your life... for as he thinks within himself, so he is. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Proverbs 4:23, 23:7 & Philippians 4:8

Our thots truly do affect other people by either building them up and giving them a place where they feel honored and safe, or by demeaning them and destroying them. True, not everyone is sensitive to their environments or has the gift of discernment, but those who are discerning and sensitive can be deeply affected by our private dishonoring thots and biases. For example, if someone thinks short people are less intelligent, I begin wonder why I feel dumb when I'm around that person. I don't normally feel unintelligent or whatever odd thing I start feeling, but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt (when it's safe to) until they say something that reveals their true thots/biases. Then I realize that there is a valid reason for how I have felt and feel around that person. This validation also feels like Daddy-God is confirming my ability to sense things accurately and is showing me how to pray for the person and lift them up. True, these thots probably come from their insecurities, but they still have a negative and even destructive affect on those who pick up on them. Some may advise sensitive people to learn not to pick up on these things... but why put the responsibility on discerning people not to be affected by thots we shouldn't be thinking in the first place?

Years ago, when our pastor spoke on relationships between men and women, he talked about how men think about and look at women can destroy them or honor them and lift them up (and women to men). If we keep our thots honoring and time, place and person appropriate, our words, actions and even our silent presence will be uplifting and a safe place for others in ways we'll never know. If people could read our thots, what would we think about? Thank you to those who keep your thots honoring and appropriate...it's nice to be able to let my guard down and still feel clean, and sweet and lifted up when you're around!

Posted by Jessica at 7:40 PM.        
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June 8, 14

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Psalm 34:18 & Matthew 5:3

An older man sat next to me tonight, and one of the things I sensed was that he was lonely. I knew I couldn't take it away bc it was on a level that only Daddy-God can fill. I feel so badly that people are lonely bc it's such a horrible feeling, and it made me so glad that feeling needy and lonely was another thing that Daddy-God had begun to work out of me back in '95.

As I started to heal from things in my childhood, I began longing for appropriate affection and people connections, a sign that healing was taking place. However, Daddy-God put in me a distinct awareness that my emotional and relational needs were so deep that I would completely drain anyone, esp. my husband, if I didn't learn to get my relational, connection, and affection needs met by Him first. He's always been w/ me and has always given me what I've needed, but as these longings grew, I knew that I needed to learn to pull on Him for my emotional and relational needs as well. The concept of being draining to people was so awful to me that I tried to learn to draw from Daddy-God as quickly as I could... maybe that's why I'm not familiar w/ feeling lonely, esp. since my first encounter w/ Him five years ago. Also, a roommate I had at the very beginning of this pulled on me a lot affection-wise, which made this awareness of being draining even more real.

It was very hard, at first, to go to Him and have to wait for Him to fill my need for love, comfort, assurance, security, etc., but when He did come, He filled me so deeply and richly that going to Him first became easy. Being filled by Him is so much richer and deeper and more satisfying than what any human can give, it's like comparing the creamiest and richest mocha or hot cocoa w/ whipped cream on top to watered down diluted hot chocolate w/out marshmallows. It's so worth the pursuit of being filled and satisfied by Him!! Then what we get from others is the cherry on top! ;-)

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June 5, 14

He was not willing to take the ark of the Lord to be with him in the City of David. Instead, he took it to the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite. The ark of the Lord remained in the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite for three months, and the Lord blessed him and his entire household. 2 Samuel 6:10 & 11

Somtimes Daddy-God's Ways and Standards seem impossible, ridiculous and such. Aug. '99, He said to me thru an Oswald Chambers book, Others may [be allowed to] ..., but you may not. This has been so hard as I've missed my treasures and am not suppose to lose myself in any kind of indulgence, except for worship, to ease the pain. It's been beyond hard and painful, but He has blessed me and has given me everything I've needed to make it thru each painful progression. When I read this verse...seems like Daddy-God blesses whoever is willing to embrace Him and His Standards.

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June 1, 14

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Another squirrel was found the be the culprit that started the fire on the hillside behind Bethel yesterday, so the streaming didn't work this morning, which meant that we got our own preach. Eric talked about three chairs that we usually think from: the seat of selfish ambition, the seat of Peace, or the seat of fear. As he spoke, it reminded me of what Daddy-God had begun doing w/ me when I lost my first treasure. My mind would go down the rabbit trail of recalling all of the pain in my life and how much I had to fear bc things never seemed to end well for me. I remember Him giving me the awareness that this pattern of thinking was not the way to develop healthy thot patterns or healthy behavior patterns. He would encourage me to dream in a positive light about what I wanted from life (bc I only knew what I didn't want). I had been doing this for the past few years as I was healing from things in my childhood, so I was familiar w/ it and it's purpose. Then Ken Medema put a different twist on it when he did a concert on our college campus. He said that the Kingdom of God begins in our minds, bc how we think and what we think about we eventually will put into action, which will bring the Kingdom of Love into our midst, or not.

This brought me to a greater awareness of my thots and where they were heading bc of where they were coming from. Daddy-God has always and very consistently encouraged me to dream and to dream big, w/out parameters, as long as I dream from Love (not love). Love is Peace (1 Cor. 13), so it's the same idea, thinking and dreaming from the seat of Peace/Love. How can we know if we're dreaming and thinking from the seat of Peace/Love? One way to know is if we/our needs and wants are the center or focus of our thots and dreams or not. Instead of being locked into my pain and fears, I now am able to dream about my promised restoration and being free to love on my treasures in a way that makes them laugh and play in complete freedom, confidence and security bc they know they are endlessly Loved by their Daddy-God and deeply loved by me. My treasures and their well-being are the focus in my dreaming and thinking, not what has happened to me or even what I want for myself from them. Worship is another check for seeing which seat our thots and dreams are coming from.

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May 28, 14

"As for God, His way is perfect: The LORD's word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in Him." 2 Samuel 22:31

When I got up this morning, I was struggling as always to see how Daddy-God's Ways are perfect. How could all that's happened to my treasures (and others) be perfect or His Will? If I am to live according to His perspective, how could not being able to love on my two most precious treasures on this planet for over five years possibly be right or even okay? Struggling to see His Ways as perfect has only brought on more pain, so I finally asked Him this morning to help me to see how his Ways are Perfect, and this is what He showed me..

Not everything that happens is Daddy-God's Will, which is why He shows us what He wants to do and asks us to partner w/ Him to bring it about. For instance, it's not His Will for a person to be abused or controlled, but if it happens and the person looks to Him and trusts/obeys Him, He will show the person His Way for that person to break free into freedom, healing and wholeness. His Ways are perfect and safe but insanely hard, esp. if we're making a break from a person or circumstance that's imprisoning or dysfunctional. He may also show the person or someone close what His Will is/the person's destiny and maybe even a way out for that person in order to create a partnership w/ the praying person that will bring about His Will. Circumstances may not be His Will, but His Ways for each of those circumstances are truly perfect!

Posted by Jessica at 11:57 PM.        
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May 24, 14

The Lord said, If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.
"Be strong, Philistines! Be men, or you will be subject to the Hebrews, as they have been to you. Be men, and fight!" So the Philistines fought, and the Israelites were defeated and every man fled to his tent. The slaughter was very great; Israel lost thirty thousand foot soldiers. Genesis 11:6 & 1 Samuel 4:9-10

The Philistines were able to defeat the Israelites bc they weren't united, even tho Israel had the Ark of the Covenant. If people who were united w/out Holy Spirit could do anything and even defeat God's people who had Him in their midst but weren't fully focused on Him or united in Him, what can we accomplish when we unite together and partner w/ Him?

Posted by Jessica at 11:54 PM.        
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May 18-20, 14

"We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it." Genesis 37: 7

Stephen De Silva spoke this morning on Joseph's dream of the sheaves bowing down, and how we bow to anyone or anything that seems great bc we haven't found out who we are as Daddy-God's favorite sons and daughters. What I got from it was that when we're not secure in who we are as His sons and daughters we also are unable to take a stand where others can rely on us and feel safe, bc we either bow and shrink back in indecisiveness or rage forward, bully and control others. The only way to be secure and strong in who we are as Daddy-God's sons and daughters is to have a personal and intimate relationship w/ the Father to the extent that we are solid in His unending Love for us.

Why Daddy-God brought me into the relationship w/ Him that I have now, I don't know except that I wouldn't have been able to go thru all I've been thru w/o Him and His unending Love and constant Encouragements and Grace. As I continued listening to the message, I wondered,

Does it take being around unsafe people to internalize how safe He is and the incredible freedom that comes from that safety?

Does it take not being able to get what you need to learn how amazing He is at providing?

Does it take being beaten down to the dirt for having your own thots and feelings to learn that Daddy-God wants us to speak our mind to Him? (He knows it all anyway, even the f - yous, so why the pretense? It won't make Him Love us any less, and plus, hiding things/thots/feelings is actually being fake, dishonest and not really trusting...tho "religion" may call it being respectful/reverent.) We can always ask Him to help us not to feel/be this way..I do, esp. when the pain is overwhelming.

Too many people go thru horrible circumstances that give them a skewed view of Daddy-God, so why did He separate Himself from the stuff that was happening around me? I don't know, but He did, I can tell you what He's like..well, maybe :') How do you put the King of the universe, who is also our Daddy, into words?

What do you want or need? Write out what you long for in a daddy... For me, I can only feel entirely safe w/ someone who is never angry or upset w/ me or around me, and I've never ever ever seen Him angry, even when I said awful things to Him out of my pain (including those pretty f - yous). The sternest He's ever been w/ me is a raised eyebrow. - He is actually very funny, probably funny as often as most people think He's angry. He can match your sense of humor amazingly well, ask Him! Altho, I must say that He finds Himself funnier than I do at times bc He doesn't take my unnecessary frets seriously.

He's never too busy for you either, bc He actually misses you when you're not including Him in your stuff and talking to Him. You can love Him and have a relationship w/ Him in a way that no one else ever has or ever will, and He has been excited about you from the dawn of time! He'll take a frustrated and angry you over an absent you any time, and He won't respond in anger bc He truly does care. His anger is towards sin, not people. When I asked Him about hell, He said that since He is perfect and can not tolerate sin, He casts sin into hell, not people...we will end up spending eternity w/ what or who we're attached to or won't let go of, sin or Him. Sin also taints our perspective and relationship w/ Him, so He yearns deeply for us to be free to see Him and know Him for who He is. This may be why His Presence stirs us to deal w/ issues that are tainting our perspective and relationship w/ Him. I prefer to cleanse myself and work thru yielding to Him before I hang out w/ Him, so that when that I'm w/ Him, nothing needs to be brought up. Being clean and yielded makes me feel free to pounce on Him and look into His face, "I'm here!", chat w/ Him, ask Him to help me figure something out or to get me out of yet another mess.

When I feel entirely and deeply safe, I enjoy being affectionate and am very tactile. So when I'm sitting w/ Daddy-God, I touch His face and play w/ His fingers while we talk and dream together. Towards the end of the message, Stephen told us to sit quietly w/ Daddy-God, so I started poking Him - must connect! He said, Talk to me! Lol, He's so funny!!

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May 13, 14

Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. Hebrews 11:6

Now I have my very own "got my knife back" story! I'm a VERY detailed and particular person in order to be efficient, get things done and be as on time as possible - ha ha ha! I also work super hard at being relaxed and flexible and at giving people grace (I live and breathe by His Grace), but w/ myself I'm organized and very specific. I almost never lose things bc everything has its place, and I keep track of it all. Well, I had to cover a 6 hr. shift Sun. afternoon, and I took my iPad in case my client wanted to nap. When I came home, I put it on my desk, thinking "I don't need it tonight, so I'll leave it here and put it in my other bag in the morning." In the morning, it wasn't there, but I had a peace as I asked Daddy-God about it even tho I couldn't find it or figure out where it could possibly be.

It dings when I have a new email, but I hadn't heard it ding or seen high or low of it for these past two days even tho Daddy-God kept saying I'd have it again. I had even checked the place in my backpack where I always put it when I go on my overnight shift, but no luck. So I began contemplating that maybe I don't hear Him accurately bc I obviously wasn't finding it, and while I was at it, I figured I should face the fact that maybe I had heard Him wrong about having my treasures restored to me. At the moment I thot this, I heard it ding! It ended up being in the section where I usually put it, but in the pocket I keep my drawing pad in! (Really Lord?!) It's very funny bc I know I didn't put it there..hahaha!

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May 11, 14

Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. Hebrews 11:6

Before service this morning, a friend reminded me of my treasure's face appearing on the wall, then Pastor Bill spoke on faith. I felt Daddy-God's deep desire for us to have faith and believe in Him, His Words and His Promises to the point that if we are willing to genuinely believe Him and take Him at His Word, He will give us crazy confirmations, like my treasure's facing appearing on the wall. He longs so so soooooo much for us to genuinely trust Him and believe His Words that His Heart can be moved to show Himself and to answer our requests in unmistakable ways.

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May 6, 14

For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

As I was watching Son of God today I heard Daddy-God whisper this verse, and it clicked! I realized that every time He has told me to dream and to keep my eyes on what He has Promised me when the pain from missing my treasures/all that's happened rips thru me, that it hasn't been His way of humoring me in my puny human state. It has been to keep me sane and healthy thru the pain, the same thing Jesus did in order to endure the pain and shame of the cross, i.e. He dreamed about the relationship He was going to have w/ you and me forever as a result of His death on the cross. He dreamed about the joy in having us be in right relationship w/ Him in order to make it thru dying and being separated from the Father! Wow Jesus and thank You!! - I had such a vivid dream of my little ones this morning that I could practically smell them and feel their skin... maybe He gave that to me to help me get thru another Mother's Day :')

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May 1, 14

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

Last week I cracked my elbow pretty hard on our hardwood floor. It didn't bleed much, and I poked at it and twisted and bent my elbow to see how much damage had been done. It felt no worse for the wear, so I got it cleaned and bandaged and began my regiment of downing vitamin C. After a few days, it began leaking clear fluid and was warm to the touch, which has never happened before, so I asked Daddy-God if I was going to be okay and live. He said I'd be okay, and I had a peace about it even tho the amount of drainage increased over the next few days.

There were two who were anxious about it, and I was curious, so even tho I had a peace about it and felt it would heal (like all the other times, lol) I felt Holy Spirit nudging me to get it checked to honor the two who were concerned. So I went to the ER after work this afternoon and met some precious medical people there while discovering that it was even less injured than I had been supposing - it was going to be okay, nothing was broken or out of place and I hadn't ruptured the bursa sac as I had thot. (A ruptured bursa sac just takes ice packs, rest and time to heal.) Getting it checked was honoring to those who cared and showed me that I had heard and sensed Him accurately. I also got antibiotics for it.

Posted by Jessica at 11:53 PM.        
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April 27, 14

When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what/who is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. Proverbs 23:1 & 2

Pastor Kris spoke on Daniel and this verse this morning. We were created for greatness, to serve before kings and to be fathers and mothers to nations, but this requires us to manage our appetites/desires for greatness, fame, money, significance, etc. While these desires aren't bad and can help move us into our destinies, they must be managed well and must not become the motivation for what we do. Daniel chose not to indulge by eating the king's food, but he went ahead and accepted a position in the king's court where he was in charge of all magicians and sorcerers. This position identified Daniel as being one of them, a magician/sorcerer, not a servant of the Most High God, but it also put him in a place of high influence over the King's court. When we learn to manage our appetites, Daddy-God can trust us to manage unusual situations.

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April 24, 14

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5 & 6

Daddy-God saved my skin yet again this week and today. The enemy is out to do everything he can to steal, kill and destroy us and our destinies, and our sins make us deserving of exactly what the enemy wants for us. But! bc Jesus died and rose again, when we humble ourselves and ask Him to forgive us, we are clean and free to step into the life, blessings and destinies/"straight paths" that Daddy-God longs for us to have. I can never make things work out for my benefit, so I learned even as a young girl that I desperately needed Him bc I was always doing things and into things that were mammothly bigger than me. When I've come clean and have decided to trust Him, He has saved my skin every time. Making sure we're clean and good w/ Him is so freeing in itself any way, why does it take us so long?

If we are living a life we deserve, then we are living the life the enemy desires for us and not the life Daddy-God planned and longs for us to have. However, when we come clean, we can stand before Daddy-God in Christ and in His Righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21) and therefore in Him, we become deserving of what He has planned for us as His sons and daughters, i.e favor, success, blessings, hope, promises fulfilled, everything worked out, everything restored, everything redeemed, and destinies lived out, instead of the consequences our sins "deserve". His Love and Grace can fix anything and straighten every messed up path bc w/ Daddy-God, nothing is impossible!

Posted by Jessica at 12:44 PM.        
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April 20, 14

Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that openly profess His Name. Hebrews 13:15

Today was an esp. hard day of missing my treasures bc it's now been 5 years of complete silence, and the enemy had fun using circumstances this afternoon to drive it in to an unbearable degree. So I went into my room and praised Jesus until the insane pain subsided enough to let me dream, bc Daddy-God's always telling me, Dream, Jessica, dream. What do you want? So I dreamed about being able to love on my treasures again as He Promised... Dreaming when we're lost in worship is a good check to see if our "day dreams" are truly from Him or not, it also softens and changes us at the heart level so that our pain doesn't cause hardness to set in, and! dreaming w/ Him is another form of worship!! Praising Him also does amazing things, like keeping us on an even keel, mentally healthy, and unscarred, and the only time in all eternity that we'll be able to give Him a sacrifice of praise is now!

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April 14, 14

Do not worry about tomorrow, Matthew 6:34

Worry is imagining our future w/out Daddy-God.

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April 9, 14

As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart. Proverbs 27:19

Kingdom patterns in our lives come from hearts that have Kingdom patterns. This can only come as a result of allowing Daddy-God to heal our hearts completely, which means working thru all the places in our hearts that are broken and dysfunctional. This healing process not only involves the healing of wounds, but it also involves learning to trust and develop healthy Kingdom patterns. Pain may subside over time as memories fade, but if we continue to resist and/or duck in our interactions and reactions instead of learning to trust and embrace again, then we won't experience the freedom of the complete and deep healing of our hearts. We also won't develop new healthy Kingdom patterns to replace the old dysfunctional ones. Sometimes trusting and learning new Kingdom patterns is the hardest part of healing. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Daddy-God has been having me love on a few people I've been learning to trust (for starters), maybe bc they're comfortable w/ being loved on by me. It's nice that they know that I'm not wanting things from them and that I'm not going to hang on them. They seem to recognize that I just want to pour into them, and they honor and value that - Kingdom patterns. It's been so healing to have my love honored and valued, not used, pushed away or misinterpreted.

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April 7, 14

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Do everything in love. Proverbs 4:23 & 1 Corinthians 16:14

When Love is our motive and "behind the scenes" in everything we do and say, our actions and our words will follow w/ honor and other Kingdom qualities.

Posted by Jessica at 11:55 PM.        
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April 2, 14

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."
Matthew 22:37

What we consciously think a lot about becomes a way or pattern of our subconscious thot. So if we are to love the Lord "w/ all our mind," that means w/ our conscious and subconscious minds. This afternoon as my client was on her computer, Daddy-God said, "Why don't you praise Jesus while you have this time." I remembered wanting/asking Him to help my subconscious thots to be on Him and realized that if I consciously praise and worship Him every time I can, then I will begin to praise and worship Him subconsciously or when my thots aren't focused on anything. I so love Him!

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Mar. 30, 14

This, then, is how you should pray:

"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your Name,
Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

Matthew 6:9-10

Bringing His Kingdom to earth looks like Loving the one in front of us the way they need to be Loved. "The End!"

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Mar. 24, 14

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23 & 24

During worship yesterday morning, I was wondering why some people seem to be able to give everything over while others can't. The freedom from giving everything over to Him is exhilarating beyond words, so I don't understand why people don't just let go of all those things that bring so much stress to themselves or pain to others. I sensed Him saying that the extent or depth of our need usually determines how much we are willing to yield, let go, and give over to Him

Even tho my life has been incredibly challenging, I'm so so so glad bc it has increased my awareness of my deep need for Daddy-God. The things I've been thru have made yielding, letting go, and giving everything over to Him seem like an easy alternative w/ freedom as an end result. Maybe this is bc when things are said or done that hurt or degrade me, I desperately don't want to do them to others, so when others act like it's normal/okay, I ask Daddy-God why it hurts or feels so degrading. For example, I used to feel degraded when I was proven wrong bc I was often needled into the ground until I acknowledged the other person's rightness, so I asked Him why this was so humiliating when no one else seemed to notice.

Daddy-God showed me that when we can't be wrong (bc our identity is in being right instead of being His son/daughter), we will insist on being right at the expense of relationships and others' dignity. When our identity is in being Daddy-God's favorite son/daughter, being wrong (or appearing to be) will not bother us unless it's life or death, bc it won't make us feel like less of a person. I loved how my treasure was so open to learning from others... it was beautiful to me, and I wanted to be able to feel that secure and confident when I was wrong. Having our identity in being Daddy-God's favorite son/daughter also causes us to value our relationships over the need to be seen as right, and that is Love! Another issue I struggled w/ was not finding my identity in my job status...He told me that if I had my identity solely in being his favorite girl, I should feel as dignified having to walk in to buy food stamps as I would if I were the president of a high-status company. He helped me get there w/ both of those. When something makes us feel like less of a person, it may be a red flag that our identity isn't solely in being His favorite.

Posted by Jessica at 11:37 PM.        
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Mar. 23, 14

In him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. Ephesians 3:12

Here's another angle on this verse. Contrary to the popular belief of many, we were created to be strong, bold, confident and powerful in the ways we live our lives and in our relationship w/ Daddy-God. He gave us minds to think, process, and make decisions w/. He gave us hearts w/ desires and passions, and He gave free wills to choose Him and align w/ Him. He didn't give us these parts of who we are for us not to use them in our walk and relationship w/ Him , so the key is to use them as they were made to be used. To illustrate, a blender liquifies things nicely as long as you use it like the creator designed it to be used... but if you try to blend rocks in a blender, you'll ruin it and may hurt others in the process.

Daddy-God created us to be strong, bold, confident in our relationship w/ Him and in the way we live our lives, but He also created us to breathe, move and have our being in Him. This means staying in the River and flow of Holy Spirit and under the covering of a rightly aligned authority figure who will keep us accountable and our confidence, boldness and strength in check...He gave me this picture during worship this morning. When we stay in the flow of Holy Spirit and under covering, we can freely be strong, bold, confident and powerful as we know who we are, and our strength, boldness and confidence will be appropriate before Daddy-God and will also bring life and freedom to those around us. However, when we don't stay in the flow of Holy Spirit or in check and under covering of a rightly aligned authority figure who keeps us accountable, our strength, boldness, confidence and powerfulness will bring pain and destruction to those around us.

It always blows me away to know that Daddy-God wants us to be bold and powerful, even w/ Him, bc He made us to be that way! Staying in the River and under covering allows us to adequately and appropriately use the freedoms that we were created to live in, both in our relationship w/ Him as well as in bringing the Kingdom down around us. But using these freedoms outside of being in the River and under covering only brings pain and destruction to everyone and everything around us.

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Mar. 22, 14

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24 & 25

I have found that the more I pursue being in community w/ positive, encouraging believers, the less loud and overwhelming the enemy's lies are. This week, I saw how the enemy does what he can to be louder w/ his lies than Daddy-God is w/ His Truth. Daddy-God is a gentleman who doesn't force Himself on us, so I realized that I don't need to sift thru the lies to find the Truth, I just need to shut the enemy up so that I can hear the Truth :'D I also realized how being in the Word and in community w/ positive, encouraging believers will make the lies of the enemy more obvious and Daddy-God's Truth easier to hear.

Being in the Word and worship during our alone times w/ Him as well as being w/ uplifting believers are all vital to our well-being. The enemy will do whatever he can to take our focus away from the One Who Loved us so much that He died in our place - so that we can be the strong, powerful, and healthy sons and daughters He made us to be. Whether it's getting us to blame him for everything, or keeping us too busy, focussed on the worries of life (which are ridiculously easy for Jesus to fix), thinking about our pain, or even enjoying our lives and pursuing or interests on our own, he'll do anything to get our thots, focus and love away from the very One Who Loves us the most. The enemy does this bc he knows that once we know who we are in Him and how Loved we are, nothing he can conjure up will stop us. A lot of what pulls our attention away are things that aren't bad or evil, but they get us side-tracked when we aren't partnering w/ Him and quickly become tactics the enemy uses against us.

We should pursue our interests, dreams and desires! but pursue them and dream them w/ Him!! by checking in w/ Him...is His Peace and Approval still on this? I have found that most Kingdom things, esp. our destinies, our callings, healthy relationships, and being in community/around positive and uplifting environments have to be pursued and maintained w/ Him bc they pretty much won't just happen. Compass' CEO said the same thing about being in community w/ each other at our staff meeting last night then Daddy-God re-iterated it this afternoon: we must pursue being in encouraging and supportive community w/ others for it to happen.

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Mar. 19, 14

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 12:18 & 18:21

        At Bible Study last night we had a guest speaker talk to us about sound and frequencies, and how every single created thing emits its own unique frequencies...even the words that come out of our mouths emit positive or negative frequencies, life or death. These verses are such a big, big deal and so real to me bc I've experienced the reality of how words truly do rip and pierce like swords, bring death, or they can also bring healing and life down to the bones! I even experienced this reality this morning when my driver came to pick me up for work. I had already been declaring good and powerful things over myself, my treasures and all our family members earlier as I was getting ready, but I was still feeling the oppressive pressure from other spoken words and attitudes. As soon as my driver greeted me w/ his, "Good morning, Powerful Woman of God!" I felt the oppression break and the freedom come to be my strong, tenacious, unique self, and I also felt like I could breathe more freely and stand up taller! Words and attitudes truly do bring life or death.

Posted by Jessica at 11:56 PM.        
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Mar. 14, 14

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Pa. Bill said something to the effect that he waits to feel the Father's heart of Love for the person in front of him before praying for/advising/working w/ them. When we feel Daddy-God's Love for the one in front of us, we will feel His heart and how it's for them and their good, and our actions and interactions w/ them should come out of that awareness.

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Mar. 9, 14

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed - not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence - continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling... Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. Philippians 2:12 & 1 John 4:1

Daddy-God created us in His Image and in His Likeness, which means that we have a free will to choose Him and obey Him, a heart to Love w/, and a mind to fill w/ His Truth and Wisdom to use in making decisions. He never created something for the purpose of not being used, ie, He didn't given us a discerning spirit, a Loving heart or an intelligent brain for us not to use them. For instance, if we're hungry and pray for food and a stocked pantry appears, we shouldn't sit in front of it, waiting for Him to tell us to open the doors, pick something, then wait for Him to spoon-feed us (unless He says to do just that). When we're praying, we must keep ourselves attentive to Him to find out what we're responsible for working out and what His part is. I've found that quite often when I'm praying about a situation, He wants me to use the heart and brain He's given me to step out w/ my spirit fully attentive to Him. Once I've stepped out in faith watching and listening for Him, then He'll give me the guidance, open door, or provision I've been asking for! I believe that He honors those w/ hearts that are truly fixed on Him by not allowing them to go off track w/out extremely clear warning signs.

Posted by Jessica at 11:59 PM.        
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Mar. 3, 14

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Last night during worship, I was seeing lots on how to teach/show my children how to worship. I saw an example of most of it years ago w/ Daja (they have 8 now, such sweet cuties). When I've mentioned things to friends about what I'm going to do and focus on as a mom, they've been torn down, so the way she's a mom I guess is Daddy-God's way of affirming the mommy stuff He's put in me. If I have any more kiddos, I'll probably wear them in a sling unless they want space and to move around on the floor. She has never had a baby carrier... to her, it's why have one? She's funny. Anyway they bounce around on her front while she's dancing and worshipping, then they mimic her raising her hands, and as they begin teetering around, they'll bounce on their little chubby legs next to her until they're big enough/brave enough to join the fun dancing towards the front. I love this way of getting them into worship from day one.

So last night, I saw worship times w/ our little ones being a mix of loving on them and being lost in worship ourselves at our favorite parts. I dreamed about having a worship time w/ one of them twirling around w/ him, laughing w/ him, holding and kissing him. Then at my favorite part, whispering how much I love this part and let's sing it, and when it's over, go back to having fun w/ him and the songs. This will hopefully help him/them to associate feeling deeply loved and accepted w/ worship and being in Daddy-God's Presence, and it may also bring him/them to tell me parts of songs that he/they like, then we'll worship and enjoy those parts he/they like together. Pushing children away so we can "get into worship" brings a lonely rejection association w/ worship and church, or so I think. This is another reason why we must make time to have our own individual worship and soaking time! Plus! Loving on them, snuggling them, building them up, even tickling and playing w/ them are all ways we can worship Him!! They're acts of worship too! I so Love Him!!!!

Posted by Jessica at 11:57 PM.        
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Feb. 28, 14

You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and You lay your hand upon me. Psalm 139:2-5

This just dawned on me this morning, and I love that Daddy-God knows every single thing about each one of us. That's why it's such a good idea to go w/ Holy Spirit's take on each of us. I grew up playing the "happy child" role, and it must be stamped on my forehead since I still get the well-meant subtle 'be happy' advice. This 'be happy' advice hovers around 'don't add to the problem', 'not showing or sharing your unblissful things w/ others shows maturity,' 'the joy of the Lord is your strength!' or some other this'll-fix-you bit. Daddy-God has seen all of how I have not been free to feel not-happy feelings, which might be why He never ever tells me not to feel hurt, upset, frustrated, etc., tho I do know that I'm not free to lash out. He always tells me to feel things all the way out and also often reminds of how Hannah was allowed to weep and be broken over having no children and how she ended up raising a prophet...maybe she was crying His tears.

Seems like I personally need to be allowed to feel by having my feelings validated and respected thru empathy w/ no explanations like "they're so sweet and they really do love you" bc that says to me that they mean well and love me so much, so how can I let that gash in my heart hurt and bleed? When I get these responses, I feel horrible for being so selfish and for "over-reacting," so I have to go to Daddy-God to figure out why I'm over-reacting, and He always says I'm not over-reacting, that it should hurt and make me bleed bc it hurt Him and made Him bleed. Once my feelings are validated, empathized w/, and respected, I'm mostly over it, tho not entirely bc healing is a process. Thank you to my treasure, his fam., and others who have given me the freedom to feel by feeling w/ me and crying when I had no tears w/o 'buts' or advice, as tho you realized that I just needed a human to feel w/ me bc you believed in my ability to figure everything else out w/ Him.

Daddy-God is still teaching me to feel w/ freedom in order to heal (not wallow or splash in it for attention), but I no longer have the comfort of an empathetic listener when I need an empathetic heart. So He has given me another way to feel joy in the midst of my pain w/o discrediting how I'm feeling. My healthy, good-for-you, chocolate drink (raw cacao powder and raw honey) boosts my energy and my emotions so that I feel happy and light-hearted even tho I miss my treasures, I'm not understood deeply and the whirling around me makes my muscles tighter and my jerkiness worse. So when I'm going into a painful, hard, or demeaning situation, I drink up and thoroughly enjoy Him thru it! then I cry out for justice later. So yes, the Joy of the Lord thru cacao powder and honey is my strength!

Posted by Jessica at 12:07 AM.        
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Feb. 25, 14

I will repay you for the years that the locust has eaten - You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will [you] be shamed. Joel 2:25 & 26

Oh, how great is Your goodness,
       Which You have laid up for those who fear You,
       Which You have prepared for those who trust in You
       In the presence of the sons of men! Psalm 31:19

Daddy-God truly will repay and restore what's been taken from us, and He will lift up our heads in front of those who have looked down on us, laughed and mocked us, etc. He will not only restore, but He will repay as well, and repayment includes justice for wrongs done to us w/ others watching :')

Posted by Jessica at 11:03 PM.        
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Feb. 23, 14

Then the Lord said to him, Reach out your hand and take it by the tail. So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. Exodus 4:4

v Things that Daddy-God asks us to do aren't always safe, but He knows where we're individually in knowing His Ways, understanding His Heart, trusting Him, and therefore in what He can ask of us. Picking up a snake isn't safe unless you know how to use your authority in Him to keep it from biting you. So I found it intriguing that Daddy-God told Moses to pick it up by its tail, which would have been a definite test for Moses. My picking up a snake thing is that I've had a feeling this weekend that I'm suppose to start actively Loving on people instead of just loving in response to them. I love how He knows our hearts and where we are. For myself, I love from the depths of who I am, from my toes, so to speak, and being held at a distance or pushed away when someone is uncomfortable bc of their own insecurities and walls really hurts. Being pushed away by people who like their walls or have told me how not pure (they think) my motives are has messed me up very deeply and has made me doubt myself and my perceptions in so many areas that I've no longer had the strength to Love on people unless they ask for it or take it from me.

Experiencing so much of this, brought Daddy-God to hold me back and hide me for a long while bc my heart had become a torn bloody mess, but the past couple of years since I've been up here in Redding He's had me work on healing and trusting again. Now He wants me to Love on those I've been learning to trust. This means Loving on them w/out wondering how it'll be taken/interpreted bc of their past experiences, woundedness, etc. He is starting me out w/ a specific handful of people who will receive my Loving on them in an honoring way and will value it, and it's wonderful to be able to Love freely, to pour out and drink in in a healthy way, as I did tonight w/out hurtful responses! This has also helped me to understand how much it hurts Daddy-God when we can't or won't let Him Love on us down to our toes bc of our issues...and how it makes Him fly when we work thru our issues and become free enough to drink Him in!

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Feb. 20, 14

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My Name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. John 14:26

Today is a special day and very dear to my heart as well as painful, and the last few days I've felt like I was in a daze about it all. I woke up this morning to the thot that I would be working w/ one of my clients today bc her staff called in sick. Before I wanted it to, my bladder required me to roust all my muscles and get up, and I was bummed at knowing they were now all tight and working for the day, which meant I was too. Nevertheless, I climbed back in bed, trying to worship and dream w/ Him while avoiding starting another day so early, another day and another year of missing my treasures. When I eventually got up to get ready for the day, I got a call asking me if I could cover a shift bc my client's staff had called in sick. So I dressed quickly, realizing that I had heard Holy Spirit correctly as I had noted doing earlier in the week, two other blatant incidences of strangely yet accurately hearing His Voice, not just having a sense about something. On the way to work, I remembered watching Kris last night tell Bob Jones stories and how I had asked to hear Him like Bob Jones had. Then I realized that this had been another lesson in the art of listening to Holy Spirit. I find it intriguing that He seems to teach those things we ask to be taught and doesn't force too much, if anything, on us...as an honor of our free will.

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Feb. 15, 14

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. ... I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for My own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Psalm 103:12 & Isaiah 43:25

I had to ask Daddy-God for forgiveness tonight, and the ickiness felt so huge I was sure I'd be feeling it for days when I heard,

You're fine.

I knew it was gone bc I could feel its absence, but I wondered how something that had felt that hugely nasty could just simply be gone. How could I feel this instantaneously free when it was so aweful? Bc when He forgives, He forgets, so the wrongdoing literally no longer exists. It's that simple, and now I can laugh and dance and be free w/ Him again. ;')

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Feb. 11, 14

Teach me Your Way, O Lord; I will walk in Your Truth; Unite my heart to fear Your Name. Psalm 86:11

When we truly desire to see, understand, and live out Daddy-God's Kingdom Reality, He knows it bc He knows the true essence and motive of every single thot and desire we have. I love how He shows us His Kingdom Reality when we truly desire to live it out no matter the cost. Once we understand His Perspective and what He wants us to do, we become responsible for our choice to obey or not obey what we now understand. If He shows us something that's confusing, it's our responsibility to seek Him for understanding so that we can obey...teach me Your Way, O Lord; I will walk in Your Truth.

He shows me how He views things by giving me dreams, and I love how He does that bc if He showed some of us (like me) His Perspective while we're awake, our logic would reason His revelation down to nothing. I love coming to understand things from His Perspective bc then I can live in His Reality and bring heaven to earth. Seven years ago today, He distinctly showed me His Perspective on my place and role in the lives of my two treasures, my two favorite people on the planet. He showed me His Perspective on how the covenant I had made sixteen years ago has made me one flesh and how His Promise to restore everything included restoring the role He had planned me to play in the life of my other treasure. In this dream, He very clearly showed me my roles in the lives of both of my treasures, and so since that day I have been responsible for choosing to be obedient and live according to my roles or not accept His Viewpoint and be disobedient.

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Feb. 8, 14

My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Don't underestimate Daddy-God's way of providing. He may not give us our hearts' desires immediately, but He will give us what we need to make it thru until He brings us into all that He's Promised. I have had a taste of the outskirts of my Promised Land, in which I never knew that life could be that gloriously wonderful. I never knew anyone would ever know me and get me so perfectly or could ever be that gentle and genuinely kind w/out impatience, irritability, etc. The gentle calm in the environment plus the safeness I felt from being understood, enjoyed and covered/protected made my muscles relax and my jerkiness almost disappear. Having this again/restored is one of my heart's desires, so I've been asking Daddy-God for relationships where I feel real again (not a mirage or out-of-site-out-of-mind) w/ friends who "get" me and enjoy who I am so much that they make the time for us to meet together. He hasn't brought this to me yet, but He has given me a healthy, good-for-you, chocolate drink (cacao powder and honey) that boosts my energy and my emotions so that I feel happy and light-hearted even tho I miss my treasures, I'm not understood deeply and the whirling around me makes my muscles tighter and my jerkiness worse. Sometimes the drink makes me feel so happy it shouldn't be legal. Lol :') Funny way of dealing w/ that for now, I think.

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Feb. 4, 14

That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew. Early in the morning, Jerub-Baal (that is, Gideon) and all his men camped at the spring of Harod. The camp of Midian was north of them in the valley near the hill of Moreh. Judges 6:40-7:1

We know that we're suppose to trust Daddy-God, and I always thot of it in terms of trusting Him to provide, come thru, open a door, etc. Yet I hadn't really thot that trusting Him included trusting that when our prayers are answered and our fleece is dry that it is HIM answering our prayer and not a coincidence. When He gave me three dogs for comfort, I had to trust that He had answered me bc He wanted me to stay on course. Also, last week, when He confirmed my feeling that I was like the Israelites trying to leave Egypt, it told me that He was calling me out of that place bc He's bringing into where He wants me to be. This means I must trust that it wasn't a coincidence but His confirmation, and that He's not going to leave me hanging but is bringing me into another place of freedom, life, and prosperity.

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Jan. 31, 14

When the king of Egypt was told that the people had fled, Pharaoh and his officials changed their minds about them and said, "What have we done? We have let the Israelites go and have lost their services!" So all Pharaoh's horses and chariots, horsemen and troops - pursued the Israelites and overtook them as they camped by the sea near Pi Hahiroth, opposite Baal Zephon. Exodus 14:5 & 9

Not every oppressive entrapment is a consequence of sin. Some situations start out as Daddy-God's provision, similar to how He used Joseph's place of honor to provide Jacob, his sons and their families w/ food and a place to live and prosper during the famine. But after Joseph died, the Egyptians began to oppress and enslave the Israelites, and the oppression increased over the next several hundred years until Moses led them thru the Red Sea. Just like Pharaoh didn't let the Israelites go w/out a fight (to his death), the enemy will not let us go from his grasp w/out an intense fight to keep us under his control.

When I moved up here, Daddy-God gave me a way to bring in income w/in the first few months. It didn't require a Masters degree, but it was something and I truly tried to steward it well as I prayed for something more. Then something happened last spring that brought me to begin crying out to Him for justice and a change, bc the injustice that was being done felt very oppressive. Finally, last week, He opened the door for me to leave the situation and be in a place I've wanted to be. Freedom and excitement filled me from head to toe as I prepared for my exodus, which I did very professionally in every sense of the word. However, yesterday morning when the time came to make the break, a fear gripped me so intensely that I knew where it was coming from. The enemy hadn't even tried to disguise himself, and it made me realize that all the oppression I had been under wasn't just me not liking my circumstances. It had been the enemy's hand holding me back, and now he was making a last ditch effort to keep me under his oppressive bondage. As I realized what was happening, it felt like I was like the Israelites when they were trying to leave Egypt w/ Pharaoh hot on their tail. So I told my driver (the sheriff) this on the way to work, and he told me that he had read that very story that morning! We laughed at the confirmation, and he prayed for me to go forward w/ Holy Spirit and His Fire and Joy! That stupid gripping fear hung around me all day, so I praised Him, laughed in its face, and maintained my "don't mess w/ me stance" all day and thru this morning. Then half way thru getting ready this morning, the fear gave up and vanished into thin air. The enemy does not give us up to our freedom w/out a fight, but freedom w/ Daddy-God always wins!

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Jan. 27, 14

Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. Romans 14:4

Being sensitive has its good parts and its not so good parts...sensitivity can allow us to be powerfully influential or very unstable and weak. I'm very aware of this every time I'm advised by well-meaning people and it stings or rips, so I take their words before Daddy-God to find out why their words don't seem to match what He says to me. I pretty much always assume that I'm not hearing Him correctly and they are, which may be why it takes grueling gut effort for me to feel strong in what I hear from Him if I don't have an encouraging sounding board. For me, He wants me to be sensitive, real, and raw, w/ absolutely no walls, which means that anything that's not gentle as a flower petal and of Holy Spirit makes me bleed. This doesn't mean I'm allowed to pout in the corner and suck on my paws, but it does mean that only one or two people in a (seeming) thousand seem to see the good in that kind of sensitivity and vulnerability and have the discernment to know how to do what it takes to protect and empower me to flourish in who I was made to be. My sensitivity and gentle strength continually grows from having to constantly allow Him to heal my bleeding heart, perhaps bc I've asked to feel His Heart? .. and unloving words and actions make His Heart rip and bleed. Hard as this is, it allows me to be able to reach other wounded hearts to love, empathize and comfort them w/o causing them more pain... so that I can comfort them w/ the comfort He's given me(2 Cor. 1:3-4).

A few years ago, Daddy-God brought me across the path of an older gentleman who looked comfortingly like my best friend's dad, so much so that it made me jump when I'd see him. He had me give him a word about him being sensitive, and over time as we chit-chatted, this gentleman told me that when you're sensitive, you need to choose very carefully the people you spend a lot of time w/. He talked about how you shouldn't be around a lot of people who will make you harden and protect your heart, bc then HE can't use you the way He designed you to be used. So I've been trying to make good boundaries and choices, and it's been freeing to not be battered so much but hard to see how few people get and enjoy my sensitivity. I have found that as a lot of people get to know me, they often either disappear, grow distant, or want me to toughen up and be different (easier to deal w/?). Yet there are those few who see, value and enjoy who I'm being molded into enough to do what it takes to call it out even more and protect and empower me to grow in it further. It seems as tho it would be a good thing to find out who Daddy-God is shaping others into being, what their sensitive areas are (1 Cor. 8:9) and do what we can to protect and empower them to fully become who they were made to be!

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Jan. 24, 14

Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31

This seems to be along the lines of a post I wrote a few years ago about things being for our good. I sense that I'm in a season of pursuing things I want. This sounds like a fun season, but I grew up not being allowed to want anything. In fact, if I desired something, it was directly denied me, or I was told that I was beyond selfish for even thinking about it. Hence my stammering when asked if I wanted to go w/ the choir to perform in the Candlelight thing. Since then, if I have wanted something, it's been utterly destroyed to a gut-wrenching painful degree... and now Daddy-God is saying to pursue my desires, but I don't feel like I can anymore... it feels like Jdgs 20:28. One of my desires is to get out and go to a Fri. or Sun. night service and build healthy relationships so that don't lose all of my social skills. This is not an extravagant desire, but the more I pursue finding a ride home so that I can go, the more it seems that people don't care or want to be inconvenienced.

Daddy-God has provided rides to work thru a cab company called Trinity Cab! Not only are they believers, but all the drivers know Pastor Bill, Kris, Danny, Eric and Brian from Weaverville, and one of them is the one Kris gave the word to about being sheriff. Yesterday on the way to work, that one and I were talking about drawing non-believers to Christ by Loving them and Caring about their needs even tho it inconveniences us, and I realized that my pain was making their need to be Loved and Cared about very real and very personal. I told him that if I wasn't already a believer and drawn to His Presence, I wouldn't want to have anything to do w/ Christianity bc the lack of Care-in-Action from believers hurts so so deeply. It made me realize that I need to be praying for His Body to see others as He sees them, to feel His Love for them, and to be His Care-in-Action to them...our experiences should show us how to do or not do to others and even what to pray about. So we prayed in agreed agreement!

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Jan. 20, 14

Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it. ...do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them like bread. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them." Numbers 13:30 & 14:9

Kris spoke on covenant again, and how firmly Caleb and Joshua believed that Daddy-God would keep His covenant to bring them into their Promised Land. When the spies came back from spying out the land, ten of them saw how impossible it would be for their tiny nation to take possession of a land full of giants. Yet Caleb and Joshua saw it thru the eyes of Daddy-God's covenant w/ them and went into a courageous covenant w/ Him to see His Promise fulfilled, instead of wanting to turn around and go back to Egypt like everyone else did. If a promise is truly from Daddy-God, it will be intensely opposed almost from day one. I don't think that Daddy-God necessarily brings opposition to test us, but I do think that as soon as the enemy sees that the seed of the promise has been planted, he goes all out to destroy it. Then Daddy-God uses that opposition to test our faith and our courage to stick it out until He does what He Promised. Daddy-God is good and doesn't do bad things to us, but bad things do happen, so He uses them for our good and to strengthen and mold us.

Kris told a story of how he had given a friend a word that he would be the next sheriff. His friend didn't even make past the primaries, but he didn't waver in his confidence that the word from the Lord that Kris had given him would come to pass. The only way that he could be elected sheriff was if the majority of the voters wrote his name on the line next to "other". He became the next sheriff as Daddy-God had said he would, and bizarre stories came in about how people found themselves writing his name on that line. He had believed courageously.

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Jan. 16, 14

In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Ephesians 3:12 & Hebrews 4:16

This freedom to be free, bold and confident continues to amaze me. As I was watching a few episodes of NCIS w/ my mom tonight, several instances came up where several "probies" stood up to Ducky and Gibbs. Yet instead of putting them in their place, both Gibbs and Ducky heard their input and allowed it to change what they were doing. The "probies" weren't praised, coddled or even thanked, but they were heard, respected and honored, and it felt like a picture of how we are to be w/ Daddy-God. That freedom to say we what think and feel to Daddy-God absolutely wrecks me when I think about it...I wrote on it two weeks ago as well. He first gave me the verse in Ephesians when I was in high school, and it still baffles me, probably bc most humans feel threatened by strength and confidence, so they react by shrinking back or putting people in their (lower) place. But Daddy-God doesn't, and not only that, He seems to welcome boldness and confidence before Him!

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Jan. 12, 14

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:12

I wrote about this last spring after I saw Georgian, and as I'm writing this it's coming into that do-everything-w/-Holy-Spirit thing. Love is good bc Daddy-God IS Love, but love apart from Him actually has the opposite effect and will end up being unhealthy, destructive and deadly. He Loves us w/o limit, and likewise we're to Love others w/o limit, so that tells me that we can't Love and bond w/ others too much or in unhealthy ways if we're Loving them w/ Him and in Him! I love to Love people, and one thing I've learned since Daddy-God began healing my heart 19 years ago and giving me safe people to love and bond w/ was how to channel my growing love for a person into prayers for them. As I began to enjoy these new safe relationships, I was afraid that I'd bond w/ these individuals inappropriately, so I began to channel my affection for them into prayers for Daddy-God to overwhelm them w/ His Love for them and to pour His Goodness into them. Over time I began to see that praying for them was keeping my heart from veering off into unhealthy arenas, and I'm seeing now how loving others w/ Daddy-God also keeps our love for them appropriate and healthy bc it's coming from our place in Him. This means that we can love others as deeply and passionately as we were created to, w/ Him and thru our prayers for them, bc prayer and Holy Spirit partnered Love filters out any unLoving stuff and until it changes us and purifies our love and our hearts/motives enough that no filter is needed!!!! I like that a lot!! :')

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Jan. 7, 14

"Worship the Lord your God, and His blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you," Exodus 23:25

A few days before Christmas, I had lunch w/ a friend, and as we were sharing things she said to me, "You have no scars." I was shocked, amazed and elated all at once bc I knew that her words were trustworthy. (I've also been told by others that I shouldn't be this normal after all I've been thru.) This friend and I have both been thru our own horrible things and also work w/ people who have been thru horrible things, so I knew that she knows full well the affects that abuse and tragedy has on people. As I thot about her words, I felt like Daddy-God showed me that I have no scars bc whenever the pain and torment hit, I go into worship and lose myself in His Presence as much as I can at that moment. Being lost in worship and lost in His Presence heals us like nothing else can.

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Jan. 3, 14

When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine."

Woman, why do you involve me? Jesus replied. My hour has not yet come.

His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."

Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.

Jesus said to the servants, Fill the jars with water; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.

They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine ... and said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now." John 2:3-10

I read this last night and have been chewing on it all day. In this chewing process and during one of my meetings today, a (probable) Bethel person/student came up to our table and told me that she saw so much joy on my face. Her words filled me w/ Joy and made me fly! This made me think further about the amazing freedom that we have in Him to be who He created us to be, then it morphed into thinking about the amazing freedom Daddy-God gives His kiddos to think and express themselves, a freedom I didn't have for the first 19 years of my life. I also thot about how both Abraham and Moses had voiced their opinions/argued w/ Him, and how their opinions had changed His course of action. Then Mary, centuries later, apparently overlooked Jesus' rebuff, and in turn He honored her faith and persistence by doing a miracle to fix the problem before He had originally intended to start doing miracles in public.

I know that we're taught not to cross or contradict Daddy-God, but I think He presents us w/ situations to see what's in our heart of hearts, selfless Love for others or other focuses. I know that boundaries must be made, but I've learned that He does honor our hearts' desire to pour out.. For instance, when I've needed to make a boundary that would leave someone in the lurch, I've told Him that I wasn't going to leave the person/situation hanging until He brought a replacement bc I never want another human being to feel as abandoned and devastated as I have felt, even at simply being stuck at home bc I didn't have a ride. He's always honored that by providing for the person/situation everything that was needed.

Daddy-God appears to raise His kiddos w/ a lot of Grace and unending Love, which seems to have the purpose of making us strong, confident, and fearless while teaching us how to Love and Honor. Sometimes before the Love and Honor bit has been instilled, it can also make some a bit obnoxious, which He appears to prefer over fearful, wavering, and full of doubt. I saw that bold, strong, confident and fearless children don't seem to threaten Him...meaning, He doesn't need to slam us down into our place to regain control or power bc He knows who He is. He wants us to be bold, strong, confident and fearless, but He's also big on us being Loving and Honoring... and as a parent, I find this whole ball of wax very intriguing.

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Dec. 31, 13 & Jan. 1, 14

Jesus looked at them and said, With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God. Mark 10:27

I've been thinking about a conversation I had w/ Daddy-God years ago about Him doing the impossible, and I actually started this post earlier this afternoon... now it's a new year - good way to end 2013 and begin 2014 ;-) When I was struggling w/ losing one of the last desires that I was asking to have, I figured that I had misunderstood the "everything will be restored" bit. Yet I knew that Daddy-God can do and fix anything bc nothing is impossible for Him, and then I heard,

Couldn't I or wouldn't I restore this to you as well?

I knew that He "could" restore this too, but I had never thot that He actually "would" do that for me. Would He restore this too? This quandary made me realize that our confidence (or lack of) that He "would/will" restore the everything He promised to restore often reflects how much we truly understand His heart for us.

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Dec. 26, 13
        "A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. Proverbs 15:18
        Zip the lips has been a concept I've heard about for awhile now, but I've only just recently seen the power that lies behind it. Learning about
changing atmospheres has shown me the power and influence that strength and silence can have, and since I've been trying to carry Daddy-God's Presence instead of trying to think of polite responses to insults, there's been changes in the atmospheres I'm in. There are individuals at one of my jobs and other places who have said very straight-out insulting things to me, but since Daddy-God raised me up last summer, I have felt different - taller, stronger and boldly confident. Now when I'm insulted, I do not respond except w/ a "don't mess w/ me" raised eye-brow, and the insults have become much less. It's intrigued me to see the power that unmovable strength in silence has over wrong attitudes, behaviors and atmospheres.
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Dec. 22, 13
        "Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made." Matthew 5:33
        Kris spoke Friday night and tonight about covenants, and it was such a good reminder. It really caught my attention that covenants are an act of our will, not an emotional response, and they also do not require a piece of paper to make them binding. So the covenant I made sixteen years ago to stay faithful no matter what is Real and binding, just as Daddy-God's covenant to me
to heal and restore everything is Real and binding. It was encouraging to hear Kris tell about how God had asked him during one of the toughest times in his journey w/ Bill to make a covenant to partner w/ him and support him in ministry for the rest of his life, and he did. The covenants we make before the Lord and before others are binding, and keeping our word is a big, big deal to Him.
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Dec. 19, 13
        The most important one, answered Jesus, is this: "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." The second is this: "Love your neighbor as yourself." There is no commandment greater than these. Mark 12:29-31
        Over a year ago, I wrote a
post on this, but these past few days I've had another thot as I've been observing circumstances. When we love who Daddy-God made us to be and when we enjoy who we are in Him enough to release ourselves to being our unique selves, only then do we seem to be able to fully honor and celebrate the uniquenesses and strengths in others. Honoring and celebrating the uniquenesses and strengths in others releases them to be who Daddy-God created them to be. On one hand, some I'm around who seem to have a few insecurities w/ themselves keep me towing the line and don't acknowledge thots, ideas, strengths, etc. that I have that are different from theirs. Then there are others I get to see who seem to be comfortable w/ and like themselves, their strengths, and their weaknesses, and I have found them to be comfortable w/ me, like me, and also acknowledge, honor and celebrate my strengths. One is very freeing, while the other shuts me down. It's intriguing to me that being healthy and liking ourselves comes next to loving Him... but then that's bc being healthy and liking ourselves enables us to truly Love, honor and celebrate others. Loving Daddy-God is of first importance, and Loving those who look like Him is next in line...the two keep us strong and healthy.
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Dec. 15, 13
        To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. Titus 1:15
        Not sure why I was thinking about this today, but it made me stop and think. We can learn a lot about the state of our minds and hearts by what we assume others are thinking or feeling. From what I've experienced, we pretty much don't think outside of our own little worlds unless we have set our focus on Holy Spirit and desire to think and feel like He does. For instance, when something happens and we assume another person is angry, it's probably either bc that would anger us or bc we've been hurt by anger and need to heal. I've seen both types from people who think I'm angry... I pretty much don't get angry, but things do hurt me deeply. Another example on the positive side is that if we have pure motives, we typically assume others do too until we learn otherwise, bc again, we assume others are like us. Our responses to or assumption of others is like a mirror for our hearts and our thot life...that intrigues me.
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Dec. 11, 13
        God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27
        Stopping for the one and loving on the one in front of us is a familiar theme to me bc of Heidi Baker, but it hit home even more today when I heard Billy Graham's regrets. He said that he wishes he could do his life over bc he would have spent more one-on-one time w/ people. He said that he would not have had so many crusades and would have stayed completely out of the political arena in order to build better relationships w/ people. Wow! ... but then, we are made in the Image of Daddy-God and nothing else on the planet is. Maybe this is why His heart is that people and relationships should be of utmost importance, next to our relationship w/ Him. It seems like the priority of importance should be Daddy-God, our family, other people, then our work/ministry, which reminds me of how our pastor's family always came before his ministry and how my best friend deeply valued that as well. If our pastor's daughter needed daddy-time, he'd hold her while he preached, and when she was full, she'd scamper off to class again. I see this w/ the Compass admin. and their kiddos too, and I so love it. Good priorities!
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Dec. 7, 13
        A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22
        Usually, the only way to go thru the
healing process is to work thru the pain of each thing that happened w/ Holy Spirit and learn to trust again. Working thru intensely painful issues over a long period of time can take its toll on our minds, hearts, bodies, spirits, psyches - everything, but Daddy-God knows how much each of us can handle at the level we're at individually. He knows each of our breaking points, and the more we trust Him and let Him have the freedom to stretch us, deepen us and strengthen us, the more He can use us. This process of healing is intense and painful beyond words, but as we continue to lay ourselves bare before Him and yield to His process, He does things in our lives that make us laugh. Laughter not only gives us a break from the pain and intensity of hard stuff, but it also heals us in a fun way and keeps the pain and intensely hard stuff from destroying us. I seriously believe that His ways of making me laugh and His constant persistence that I dream are the reasons why I have not lost my sanity in the midst of the pain of everything. It's ingenious!
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Dec. 1, 13
        A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45
        Danny Silk spoke on this tonight, and as I was thinking about this focus on our hearts, the light bulb went on! Daddy-God is Love -> Daddy-God = Love Anyway, love is a heart deal, not a head deal. If we are going to be like Him, it's going to be a heart transformation, not just a head/behavioral change. In the OT, He required certain behaviors/actions, tho He longed for hearts to be passionate for Him as David's was. It wasn't until the NT that He went after heart transformation and not just lip service. I just had the thot that w/ Daddy-God giving the One closest to His heart to die for us, no wonder He asks for a heart transformation as a sign of our acceptance of this gift of His Son.
        Another thot - He says not to just not kill people, but don't even hate or think little of them in our hearts(Mt. 5:22)... maybe bc the state of our hearts is felt more strongly than our words and actions. I know that if someone says to me, "I love your curly hair!" but thinks curly hair is ugly, I'm always wondering why I feel ugly around them. Eventually the truth will slip out in a joke or comment, as tho He's letting me see that what I'm sensing and feeling is accurate and wants me to see how the true feelings of our hearts do come thru.
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Nov. 27, 13
        A bad motive can't achieve a good end; double-talk brings you double trouble. We justify our actions by appearances; God examines our motives. Mixed motives twist life into tangles; pure motives take you straight down the road. Proverbs 17:20 and 21:2 & 8
        Throughout the day today, I kept thinking about the phrase, "the smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention," yet I felt Daddy-God was wanting to show me something about motives and intentions. He seems to be so hard on me that
heart always trumps performance. We always need to be encouraging, loving, gentle, and willing to pour ourselves out for others, but He's also looking at the motives and intentions that are behind what we say and do. For instance, do I do things for my client and say nice things bc it's my job, or bc I want to honor them and build them up? Or if I could drive people places, am I driving them out of duty, or bc I want to develop a friendship w/ them bc of His Love that's in me? When David would pick me up on Sun. mornings, I never sat w/ him and his high school boys bc it didn't feel right, but he'd always invite me to go out w/ them after. It was funny to watch him teach his boys how to treat a lady by example... I always got to ride "shotgun" plus many other things. So the boys learned how to treat ladies, while I learned how to respond like one. Yet there have also been times when He's pulled me away from going to church and other places bc the motives of those doing the duty were messing me up too much, and I had lost sight of who I am as His precious girl.
        Daddy-God shows us what He wants us to do, and it seems that He wants us to do it out of Love and pure intentions/motives, esp. bc sometimes the person or situation He's sending us into needs the healing and restoration that comes out of things being said and done from a pure motive.
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Nov. 24, 13
        If you forgive anyone's sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven. John 20:23
        Danny Silk talked about the compassion part of forgiveness this morning in a way that clicked. Hearing that the pain shouldn't hurt any more if you've fully forgiven someone overwhelms me every time, bc I'm truly doing everything I can to get my heart to quit hurting and wincing from the pain of each thing that's been said/done. So it was comforting to hear that healing is a process that continues on after we've forgiven people. Yet even when I forgive others completely, I struggle to see them outside of the pain of what they've said and/or done when it's repetitive/every time I see them...this morning, Danny talked about having a heart of compassion for them. This doesn't mean that we have to trust them if they're not trustworthy, but it does mean that we are responsible for asking Daddy-God how He sees them and then seeing them thru His eyes. I can do this!
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Nov. 20, 13
        Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
        Today is a special day to me, and I was reminded of this story... how one small kind gesture can have such deeply healing effects. I have almost no control over my right arm, hand and fingers, and most people don't know how to deal w/ its wiggles or how to read me, so they steer clear of it. Sometimes if I think about it, it makes me feel unhuman and creature-like, but I usually don't think about it. Anyway, I knew my best friend's parents first, before I met my best friend, so I never had to do the "meet the parents" thing and wonder if they'd like me. It always amazed me that his mom would smile when she saw me and would always stop what she was doing and talk to me when I'd see her on campus. It also rather shocked me that she would willingly take time for me even tho she knew that I was a talker. Then one Sunday morning, when she came over to me w/ her smile, she put her hand on my right hand and held it. I froze. I couldn't remember anyone ever touching my right hand tenderly before, and I actually didn't know what to do. I wondered if over time she'd stop and pull back bc I didn't know how to respond, but she never did
and neither did his dad. I realized that I had new things to learn as her tenderness towards me continued on...
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Nov. 15, 13
        A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Proverbs 16:28 & Romans 12:10
        Living in peace and harmony and honoring others is hugely Kingdom bc that's what Love looks like. On the other hand, gossip never brings about Kingdom results bc it's never Loving or honoring to the one who is the the subject of the gossip. Gossip brings division instead of unity and dishonor instead of honor, and fear and distrust instead of trust, confidence and Love... bc if someone dishonors someone else by talking about them behind their back, chances are that they will talk about us behind our backs. Can we live, being devoted to one another in love, honoring one another above ourselves, and living a life of love that's above reproach?
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Nov. 12, 13
        Jesus said, If you hold to My teaching, you are really My disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:31, 32 & 36
        When we are truly obedient and learn to trust Daddy-God, it brings us to the Truth of who we are in Him as His sons and daughters. It also brings us freedom from sin. Once we own the Truth of who we are and learn the Truth of what our purpose is, nothing can hold us back any longer, and our freedom begins to set others free to be who they were created to be and do what they were created to do. The opposite is also true; our self-imposed boxes not only hold us back, but our boxes can keep others from being and doing all that they were created to be and do.
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Nov. 7, 13
        Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
        Ten years ago today, I received a story in my email that was first put out on the 3rd, and Daddy-God reminded me of it today.
        There was a counselor who was working w/ a man, and one of the issues was that the man believed that he was going to receive a letter in the mail telling him that he had been left a huge inheritance. The counselor worked w/ him week after week after week, trying to convince him that this was all in his head and that he was never going to receive a letter informing him of this huge inheritance that he had been left. For eight years the counselor met w/ him, and finally after eight years, the counselor managed to convince him that he was never going to receive this letter bc he had no inheritance that was coming to him. The next day, the man received the letter.. Never give up!
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Nov. 3, 13
        Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
        As I thot about today, this verse came to mind. Even tho my best friend and myself have said words that some consider to be bad, I have never heard him speak poorly of anyone, even those who have hurt him deeply. I tip my hat to him today. What we speak carries so much power, for good or for bad. It does so much more damage to speak out negativities and criticisms than to use colorful language, bc it's all about
the driving force behind it. Saying, "This is a f'ing good dinner," isn't anywhere as damaging as gossiping, speaking out negativities and criticizing others, or even being insensitive to what might be hurtful to others. My dearest and bestest friend has taught me so much... thank you.
        True, there are times when we need to talk out our pain, so we need to be careful and ask Holy Spirit to guide and cover the words being spoken.
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Oct. 31, 13
        Be careful to do whatever comes from your lips, because you have freely vowed what you promised to the Lord your God. Deuteronomy 23:23
        Keeping our word is hard and seems unrealistic, but it's a big deal to our word/promise keeping Daddy-God. He's been reminding me about this today, and I know that thinking about keeping our word makes people feel panicky. True, we don't always know what we're getting into when we say we'll do something or make a commitment/promise/vow/covenant, and sometimes we're even tricked into things. What then?
        First, it's always our responsibility to do what we say and not forget. Since December 24, 1997, Daddy-God has actually been hard on me to keep my word, big covenant vow or little promise to do something. So what do we do when keeping our word is inconvenient, painful, or bad? Ask Holy Spirit what to do... He'll always show us what to do so that it works out, bc keeping our word is a big, big deal to Him. He asked me once, Why should I keep My covenant and promises to you if you're not going to keep the covenant you made?
        If we can't pick someone up as was promised, Holy Spirit has a fix, so we need to find out what He wants us to do, which won't leave the other person hanging. I've learned that being dependable and doing what we say is a big deal to Him, and it also requires us to trust Him to show us how to be responsible, show us the fix. Even when we're suckered into something, like a bad deal at work, a misled contract, etc. Holy Spirit can work to set things straight w/o us backing out on our word or covenant. I've never seen Him support the breaking of a word or promise, but I have seen how living a Kingdom-centered life can cause whatever/whoever is not meant to be there to either change and leave to find Daddy-God's Will or just leave. I've also seen Him provide safe places to go and give guidance that we wouldn't think of. Darkness can not mix w/ Light.. darkness will flee. When we start aligning ourselves w/ the Kingdom, everything that's dark will either change or leave.
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Oct. 27, 13
        Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit. ... Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Proverbs 14:10, Mark 13:11 & Romans 12:15
        I know that the verse in Mark in talking about Holy Spirit speaking thru us when we're on trial, but I think it should be applied to every situation in life. Holy Spirit's been camping on the importance of checking w/ Him in every single situation and conversation for quite awhile now. I had a wake-up call when I got to church this morning as a friend greeted me and raved about what a wonderful situation I have. This friend had just had a first-time glance of the situation, and their enjoyment of it felt like a sock in my gut bc the situation I experience is not the situation that others see...the things that are said and done hurt so much that it's hard to see the situation outside of the pain. As I was wondering why it was hitting me so hard, Daddy-God showed me how my lack of empathy and listening to Holy Spirit had been hard, hurtful, and a huge let-down to others. I need to know, feel and be His heart in every interaction I have w/ others...laugh when they are laughing, cry when they are crying, Love and Comfort them when they are hurting, etc.
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Oct. 25, 13
        You have searched me, Lord, and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You, Lord, know it completely. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there... even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast. How amazing are Your thoughts concerning me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Psalm 139:1-4, 7, 8-10, & 17
        Last night I got to hear the story of how the Lord brought my friend to Himself, and it was fun to hear how unique and vastly different her story and growth w/ Him is from mine. My mother said that I've always known God, and it really feels like I have. My story is that seemingly out of the blue, when I was alone in the bathroom one day while we were living in Grossmont, I asked Him to come into my heart. I'm not sure what prompted me other than Holy Spirit.
        It wasn't until I was nine or ten that He became tangible to me, making Himself real and alive within me. We had a German Shepherd named Prince at that point, and when I was spoken to harshly or grabbed/hit, Prince would bark from the kitchen until it stopped, even if he was hit in the process. He seemed to be trying to be enough of a distraction to make it stop or to take the hittings for me. At that time, I had also started reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and knew that Aslan represented Jesus, and I loved the relationship that Lucy had w/ Aslan. Once the person who had been angry had left to go work at the church office, and I could no longer hear the car as it drove away, I would venture out of my room and go to the kitchen to make sure Prince was okay.
        Prince always rose to greet me (like a gentleman), and he'd nose my hand as if to see if I was okay. I'd go over to the wall, sit down and call him over, and he'd let me pull him onto my lap (even tho he weighed more than I did) so I could pet him and cuddle him. He let me pet him, kiss him and finger his face as I processed things, and that's how Daddy-God separated Himself from the person I found myself in trouble w/ most. Prince remained my tangible Aslan until I left for college. During my high school years, however, Daddy-God also drew me to read Hind's Feet on High Places (still a safe animal-human relationship - Shepherd to hind) to bring me to see Him as a Person, yet still safe and clean as a Lion. These things have made Daddy-God the safest Person I'll ever know...tho He's made my treasure a close second. Everyone has their own story of how Daddy-God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit have made Themselves personal to them, and that floors me!
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Oct. 24, 13
        ...be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Ephesians 6:10 & 11 & Galatians 6:2
        We need both. Each of us must have both our own individual alone-time and history w/ Daddy-God and a wolf pack around us. We absolutely must know who we are as sons and daughters of the King and learn how to walk in the authority and power that we have in Him, but we also need the support and covering of other believers who believe in us. Not having a strong relationship w/ Him makes us weak and undependable, while not having a people pack leaves us open and vulnerable to being taken down and losing to the enemy what Daddy-God gives us.
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Oct. 20, 13
        "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
        Daddy-God is not cruel - not ever. For a long time I struggled to believe this and to believe that He is good. Why would He be so strong about me praising Him when the pain from the (temporary) loss of my treasures is shredding my heart and brain and all of who I am? Why thank Him for a job that's taking advantage of my degree and expertise and pays me a third of what I should be making? How do I thank Him when I'm an extrovert of extroverts who loves enjoying and worshipping Him w/ others who love Him and my corporate worship/fellowship/social life is two hours a week on Sun. mornings? Why think on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, and anything that is excellent or praiseworthy? Why thank Him and believe Him for 18 years promises not yet fulfilled? How can I possibly see Him as good?
        Bc He is truly good. He is good and He is faithful, and He will do exceedingly above and beyond what we ask or imagine! (Eph. 3:20) This week I gave a lesson on stress management in the Healthy Living class that I teach, and I was a bit shocked to learn the details on how stress harms us mentally, emotionally, physically and psychologically. I was also surprised to see how most people's thots race and whirl, esp. as they're trying to get to sleep. Then I understood Daddy-God's "cruel" promptings for me to dream, to think in hope and to praise, worship and believe Him thru the pain...He was teaching me how to manage my difficult circumstances in a healthy way. I feel like I've been living out a few of my personal hells for over a decade now b/c of how I lost my treasures and other things, and the pain is so intense at times that I feel like I should be locked up in a mental health facility. Others who have heard about some of it have said the same thing about how my mental state should be, yet when I take stress tests, the results show my stress level to be just about as low as you can have it. People have also commented on the peace and calm that I carry (not knowing that as they're talking I'm focusedly praising Jesus bc my heart and brain are ripping from missing my loves). Wow Daddy-God! He's a genius!! Stress Management 101 w/ Daddy-God. Lol :')
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Oct. 16, 13
        "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:6 & 10
        Pride is not simply seeing ourselves as being better than other people. Pride is holding our opinions about ourselves higher than Daddy-God's opinions of us. So when we try to be humble by seeing ourselves as low-lifes, dumb, dirt, etc., that is pride as well, in the form of false humility, bc He sees us as His precious and royal (top-ranking) sons and daughters. However, when we see ourselves as His favorites, it gives us the identity, value, worth, and security that we need to lift others up and pour into them. Pouring into others as He pours into us is one of the main reasons that we're on this "ball of water and land" (as my best friend put it).
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Oct. 11, 13
        For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
        So, this feels like a continuation from the other day when I was talking about
being seated with Christ in heavenly places. I had an amazing talk on the way to work this morning that settled a few concepts in my brain, and I finally 'got it'. Some of my biggest struggles come from my ability to discern and pick up on what's going on in the atmosphere. Someone can walk into the room, and I'll suddenly feel icky, or irritable, or shoved down and not fully human/creature-like, or whatever non-Holy-Spirit bugger is on the person. I've known about shifting atmospheres for awhile now and have been seeing how effective it is, but when I'm in a certain place, I still react to instead of silencing what's flying around. So one day I decided to use my "Don't mess w/ me" mind-set there. The familiar insensitivity began, which has always opened the doors to floods of brain-ripping torment, but this time, in my spirit (not audibly), I told the bugger on the person, "Don't mess w/ me. (I see you. Go away.)" The person left for a good ten minutes (a ministry person said the bugger was uncomfortable and needed the person to leave so that it could regroup). The person seems to be ignoring the bugger more and more bc when I tell it not to bother me, it doesn't, and the person stays and is nicer now. We truly are battling against things in the spirit, not each other bc I strongly believe that people really do mean well!
        Everyone carries something, whether it's Holy Spirit or non-Holy Spirit buggers or a little of each, and all of us need to let go of those non-Holy Spirit buggers that influence and misshape us. Holy Spirit is all Love and encouragements, while the other buggers seek to push buttons to bring about division, isolation, skewed identity, etc. (steal, kill and destroy) to keep people powerless for the Kingdom. So how can we tell what or Who we are carrying? If we can't control our anger/temper, we probably have an anger bugger influencing us. If we can't not lie, then we may have a lying bugger attached to us. It's the same w/ every single non-Kingdom attribute, even those impure thots that whirl around in our minds. It's just an icky guy on our shoulder or whirling around us that needs to be silenced and broken off.
        I used to have a whirlwind of icky thots that I never entertained, but they were there bc of a generational pattern. So as soon as I learned about this deliverance/sozo stuff, I told the bugger to leave me, my children and all of my future generations alone (a Sozo can help you do this), and it's been gone since... I did this w/ every bugger that I realized was on me, and now I know my value and worth and who I am! I'm also no longer controlled by fear but am confident and more bold, and I think innocently like a little girl now too. :') Yet bc those icky buggers had gotten to me for so long, they know my sensitivities and try to make me feel, degraded, icky, or fearful whenever they're on people around me. However, I'm finally learning to say, "I see you. Go away. Don't mess w/ me." Then I declare purity, Holy Spirit come, and I laugh sometimes and worship in pure joy and freedom!
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Oct. 7, 13
        But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light... 1 John 1:7
        If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we will do as He does.. I saw a beautiful picture of this last night when my mom and I went for a walk. We hadn't gone very far before we caught up w/ our neighbor and his Australian Shepherd...she is definitely his dog, and everyone knows it. He doesn't have to use a leash bc she always keeps him in sight, and I watched her as she trotted along, exploring the familiar surroundings while regularly looking up to make sure that he was still w/ her. He stopped once and shooed her off to walk w/ us until he caught up, and she came w/ us for a few yards but then went back to be w/ him. They caught up w/ us, and we continued around the block to the street behind our street where he decided to show us where their daughter lived. Instead of turning the corner as they usually did, he kept going straight, and as we talked, I noticed that the dog had veered off to (according to routine) go around that familiar corner. But she hadn't gone more than a few feet when she realized that he wasn't going usual the way and was uncomfortable w/ the distance between them. Needless to say, she quickly caught up w/ us.
        This intrigued me and made me think of how we should be this way w/ Daddy-God. We shouldn't be walking w/ Him bc we're tied to Him by a leash of rules we follow that say to the world that we're 'Christians'. Along that thot, when we pull against the leash and stretch the rules, what does it communicate to others who are watching? ...that we're in Love w/ Him? If we're truly bonded to our Lord and King and Father-God, we won't want to stretch and pull to explore things that He's not in bc we want to stay close to His Heart. We'll only feel happy and secure if He is near, and we won't like how it feels if He isn't near bc we've veered off. This doesn't mean that we don't live by rules, it means that when we're bonded deeply enough to Him, we won't want to be far enough away from Him to stretch the rules and pull against Him. It also means that when He does something outside of our routine, we will feel Him not being in what we're use to and will look up to find Him and what He's doing now. Another angle to this is the proverbial
Dove on our shoulder.
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Oct. 3, 4 & 5, 13
        So God created mankind in His own Image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. I will give thanks to You, for I am made [with great reverence and heart-felt interest and respect] and [I am unique, set apart, uniquely marvelous]; Genesis 1:27 & Psalms 139:14
        Daddy-God's been reminding me these past few days of a
vision He gave me about the beauty of our individualities and uniquenesses. We need to keep our focus on His beautiful face until His reflection is seen in us. We also need to pursue being who He made us to be instead of toning down our individualities and uniquenesses so that we fit in. This means that we also need to be in circles of people who value, encourage and honor individualities and uniquenesses as He does bc we become like those we spend time w/.
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Sept. 30, 13
        Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Philippians 2:3 & 4 & Romans 12:15
        How deeply do we care about other people? Danny Silk talked about this yesterday, and it really caught my attention, esp. the question, "Are we willing to care enough to get involved in the other person's loop?" Getting involved in the other person's loop looks like walking w/ them thru their issues instead of handing them a self-help book to read and keeping ourselves too busy to connect w/ them and become a part of their life. My mother's best friend is such an example of this in how she loves, cares and puts her heart into each person in her life. As always, Holy Spirit must be our Guide and teach us how to care and pour ourselves out for others in a healthy and healing way. How much do we really care, feel w/, and encourage others? I want to work on doing this more...
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Sept. 26, 13
        And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:6 & 7
        This verse is one that Daddy-God has been working into me lately. I have been crying out for justice for years now, and I remember coming out of the bathroom at our Prophetic Group a few months ago and feeling Him grow me up. I felt two inches taller w/ this strong and confident "Don't mess w/ me" mind-set. It seems to have raised me up next to Him bc when I remember to carry myself w/ that mind-set, the atmsophere around me has been different. When we fight our battles from our place by His side, they are smaller, not overwhelming, and are put in their proper place...then victory comes and atmospheres shift!
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Sept. 22, 13
        ([Adonijah's] father had never rebuked him by asking, 'Why do you behave as you do?' He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom.) When I was a son to my father, tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, then he taught me... 1 Kings 1:6 & Proverbs 4:3 & 4
        Pastor Bill spoke again this morning on the power that our words have, and he targeted parents and grandparents for a few moments. He talked about how our words can literally change options for the people we're speaking to or about! Apparently David didn't speak into his sons lives as he spoke into Solomon's life, and the wisdom he spoke into Solomon opened the door for Solomon to ask for more when God asked him what he wanted, which ushered him into renown greatness. The words that David spoke to Solomon changed his options and his destiny. Ten or so years ago, Daddy-God began showing me about the power of words,
even words spoken out into the air. We need to be speaking things to and about those around us that will improve their options and release them into the greatness of their destinies!
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Sept. 19, 13
        I am going to send you what My Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high. Do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. Luke 24:49 & Matthew 10:19 & 20
        Circumstances continue to remind me how vitally important it is to, as the first verse says, be clothed w/ Holy Spirit at all times so that He can act and speak thru us in every situation...which will, for instance, enable us to speak words that are comforting and encouraging to a friend (who's lost a little one but hasn't told anyone yet). Pastor Bill gave the illustration of being as conscious of keeping Holy Spirit on us as tho He was a dove perched on our shoulder that we don't want to fly away bc of what we do, say, or think about...unloving words/thots/actions do not welcome Him to stay resting on us. Thus, everything we do and say should go thru His filter (which we all "know"), but I think those of us who have been thru hellish circumstances understand in a more personal way why this is so important. Losing my treasures as well as other important things and having the restoration of it all be delayed for so long is painful beyond words, and when people speak and do things w/o
Holy Spirit tact the enemy comes in w/ a flood of torment when I'm around them. The enemy can use well-meant, polite, non-Holy-Spirit-led words and actions to destroy whoever he's targeting.
        One the other hand, being sensitive to every little twitch of Holy Spirit and checking in w/ Him enables us to speak words of life that will encourage, strengthen and even protect those we are interacting w/. Only Daddy-God knows everything about everyone, so only He knows what each person needs. We may think someone is weird or rude or not nice or whatever, when they may be doing everything they can to make it thru something horrible that only Daddy-God knows about. So we need to say what He is saying to them and do what He is doing for them instead of criticizing or mocking them. The more we can speak, move, and have our being from our awareness of Him and His Heart of Love and Compassion, the more we will be life-giving instruments of Healing and Hope! :')
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Sept. 15, 13
        For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Let there be no obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. Matthew 12:34 & Ephesians 5:4
        What we say is not by mistake. What we say comes from somewhere. The comment that women are lower than dogs came from somewhere that's not aligned w/ Kingdom thinking. Saying that the more you can do makes you more human or that you wouldn't have children if you could do it over is coming from an insecurity, a wound, or a non-Kingdom place in the heart. A tease by a person in a car to a person in a scooter/electric wheelchair who's leaning forward and laughingly ready to race, "No, I don't want to bc I don't want to lose," is coming from a heart that honors and empowers.
        Our words, whether we're joking or not, can show us the true state of our hearts. So we need to pay attention to what we are saying and ask Daddy-God to open us up and do heart surgery if the words coming out of our mouths are not Loving, honoring, empowering, life-giving, etc.
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Sept. 13, 13
        The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 34:18 & 147:3
        Healing is a process. The first part is acknowledging what has happened and the pain from it, and then working thru it w/ the Daddy-God Counselor and a counselor/person w/ skin on. The second part of the healing process is yielding to the trusting process so that new healthy patterns can emerge and be developed. Trusting and learning new patterns can be very scary yet very wonderful and freeing. I remember that as I worked thru healing from things in my childhood that I realized were not good, I had to learn to trust my best friend and his dad bc they touched the specific areas that I was working thru. I also had to learn new patterns in how to interact w/ them...when you no longer have to protect yourself, what do you do w/ your hands kind of thing. Even now, there are two good work-related circumstances that have begun, which I must learn to trust so that I can fully heal from those work-related circumstances that have been so very wrong. It's scary but exciting bc Daddy-God's in it, and I must trust Him.
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Sept. 8, 13
        For as he thinks within himself, so he is. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.Proverbs 23:7, Luke 6:45 & Philippians 4:8
        We can create or shift atmospheres thru our
words, our actions, or simply walking in our identity as daughters/sons of Daddy-God. Some people create or shift atmospheres consciously, while others do it just bc of of what's on them or in them, whether it's dark or Light. As I'm writing this, Daddy-God yet again has brought my treasure and his dad to mind. There are topics of conversation and behaviors that they never encourage simply by not joining in, and they always manage to change the direction tactfully. I've never seen them laugh at someone's weakness, stupidity, or anything that might be insulting. I've also never seen them join in on dirty jokes, inappropriate typical boy topics, or even teasing about flirting. This has always made me feel safe w/ them, and others have seemed to feel safe w/ them as well. During my college years, I noticed how every girl from my counseling group for sexually abused women hung around my best friend's dad's choir...probably bc he created a safe atmosphere for those of us who have been abused.
        I remember the few nights of choir practice when he wasn't there, it was all I could do to stay. The topics of conversation were looser, tho not bad, but they still creeped me out. Even teasing about flirting feels so degrading and dishonoring bc the focus is on the body/sex, not the person and who they are. When he was there, if someone made a comment that he didn't want to entertain, he used to say, "I don't want to go there. Let's sing!" Yes, let's sing! :') My best friend also always kept conversations clean and honoring so that I never had to put my guard up to keep myself safe from icky stuff, and I love how he loved and celebrated people and their individualities. Both of them created safe clean environments bc of who they are and what they stand for, and I am discovering Compass to be very similar - an honoring and safe place for a lot of people - the Kingdom. Sometimes Daddy-God wants us to stay in certain situations bc He wants us to shift the atmosphere and bring the Kingdom into that situation. As Beni Johnson says, "Shift happens!" :')
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Sept. 5, 13
        One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grain fields, and his disciples began to pick some heads of grain, rub them in their hands and eat the kernels. Some of the Pharisees asked, "Why are you doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?"
        Jesus answered them, Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? He entered the house of God, and taking the consecrated bread, he ate what is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.
        Then Jesus said to them, The Son of Man is no slave to the Sabbath; He is in charge and the Master of it. Luke 6:1-5
        During a lunch conversation today, I was again reminded that everything we do and say must come from Holy Spirit's insight and not from what's worked before. It's so amazing to be on the same page regarding who Daddy-God is, how He works and how He longs to be in relationship (not in religion and formula) w/ us. Everything we do and say must come from our relationship w/ Daddy-God, Jesus and Holy Spirit bc They see the whole picture; i.e., They can see that what worked in one situation could be damaging in another situation. Religion doesn't need God in order to stay in operation, but relationship does and also requires complete trust and faith in Him bc He operates outside of boxes, formulas and (at times) rules.
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Sept. 3, 13
        Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10
        So here's this verse again. Daddy-God's been showing me so much about the importance of honoring and celebrating others and how greatly honoring others affects the world around us. I've just spent the weekend at a Compass retreat, where I was surrounded by people who know how to honor and celebrate people. How do we honor and celebrate others? One huge way, to me, is seeing that every single person is a reflection of our Daddy-God and shows the world a unique aspect of who He is, whether they know Him or not! If we are in Love w/ Him, how can we not be head-over-heels for the people around us? They are a piece of who He is! Are we seeing His beauty in others? Every person can teach us valuable Kingdom principles...are we open to learning from them and celebrating (enjoying) who they are?
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Aug. 29, 13
        Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 & 16:14
        Everyone has behaviors. As Daddy-God's been working all kinds of dysfunction out of me and rewiring me, He's been showing me how to deal w/ behaviors in a healthy and empowering way. This is regarding behaviors that are reactions, not intentional, plotted, etc. Our human tendency is to respond to a negative behavior by w/holding positives and putting up a wall to show that the behavior did not affect us negatively, but He says the opposite. We need to not respond negatively to the person, but it's all right to let the person see how it has affected us. If I get growled at, it's okay that it quiets me, but I still need to compliment and encourage and see the person as Daddy-God's precious child. I might be quiet and not as bubbly as I normally am when I feel safe, but I still need to lift the person up, "Do you want me to help you w/ that, Beautiful?" Someone did this for me,
so I know how effective it is.
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Aug. 25, 13
        And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
        Nothing is ever wasted. Paul Manwaring spoke on this tonight as he shared his story of victory over prostate cancer and how his years as a nurse and a prison warden have given him the experience he has needed to work at Bethel and lead Global Legacy. Every time he talks about how Daddy-God has used all of his experiences it's such an encouraging reminder that nothing is ever wasted. I struggle w/ having to wait so long to have the family and little ones that I am destined to bring into this world and raise up for His Glory, but all these years are not wasted! Daddy-God has been growing me as His dancing worshipping warrior daughter, woman after His heart, and supportive Kingdom minded wifie/lover and mommy so that I'm ready to hit the ground running when our breakthru comes. Time, experience, struggle, pain, captivity, etc... nothing is ever wasted!
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Aug. 22, 13
        Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34
        I was thinking this afternoon about how people's responses to unfavorable circumstances is usually, "We don't know why God had this in His plan..."
        Well actually, He didn't plan it. He didn't plan for me to have CP, experience various kinds of abuse, lose my treasures, be let go from a good-paying job, etc. so that I'd learn blah blah blah and have it build my character. He didn't plan for any of these things to happen to me, but He is watching me to see how I steward each one. Daddy-God is good and plans good things for us.
        Here's another angle on it. He parents us like we parent our children bc we are made in His image and our healthy parenting patterns originated in Him. He plans good things for us to learn from, not hardships, like we do for our children. As an example, we don't break our child's leg to make him/her stronger, so Daddy-God doesn't cause adverse things to happen to us to teach us things, but He does turn the unplanned (hard things that happen to us that were not in His Will for us) around for our good. Things happen that are not His Will bc we live in a fallen world and people make choices that are outside of His Will. This is why a lot of times He tells us what He wants to have happen... He fills us in on His Plans bc He wants us to partner w/ Him and press in until we see His Will happen, see these things flip around into being according to His Will and as He Promised, heaven on earth. It's all about
intimacy and partnering w/ Him.
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Aug. 17, 13
        The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for Me.' Matthew 25:40
        People who honor and value others really inspire me, esp. people who honor and value children and others who appear to have little or nothing to give in return, like honor, money, status, recognition, etc. This why I love my job at Compass...Daddy-God's Presence is so thick there that I always leave refreshed and very full of hope and life no matter how I came in feeling. Our clients may be considered by some to be among the "least of these," but they are truly kings and queens. The purpose of our job is to pour into them and support them, so they can live independently like the rest of us do, free to go out and about to the movies, shopping, eating out, being w/ friends, and even getting out for church. We are there to enable them to reach their goals and do what they enjoy doing... instead of being stuck at home, or in a home, waiting to be fed, watered and medicated (I've felt like this and have wondered if I'm really as human as others...).
        Lots of people help and give, which is great, but how do we look at those we're helping? On the being helped side, there's a big difference between people who are meeting an external need and those who see the person they're helping as being like themselves and think, "What if I needed help w/..." or "What if I was stuck at home for days?" Once again, it's all about our hearts and motives more than what we do.
        Some say, "I'll help you if I feel like it," or " I'll take you if it's convenient." That's hard and doesn't feel uplifting.
        Yet, like those at Compass, there are those who look at it like, "I need this and you need that, so let's figure out how to make both work out." This is upholding, honoring and valuing both people, needs, agenda's, etc. True, this way may be more time consuming and complicated, but it sees the person being helped and their needs, agendas, wants, likes and dislikes - who they are and their life - as being just as important and crucial as the person's is who is helping them. This is so Kingdom! Those at Compass are so encouraging, uplifting, and honoring, very much like my best friend and his family.:') I want them all to rub off on me bc I want to exhibit these Kingdom Values in my life more.
Compass Values
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Aug. 13, 13
        Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs. Proverbs 10:12
        One of the things I've worked w/ Daddy-God to break off me is the need to be (or appear to be) right. I've felt the pain and humiliation of consistently being proven wrong or being the only one to apologize, so I've wanted to become so confident in who I am in Him that it doesn't bother me to be/appear to be wrong. Appearing to be in the wrong in a healthy way that's led by Holy Spirit is one way to cover and honor another person. This afternoon I turned something in and discovered a mistake, which I said "Oops!" to as I recalled how the person helping me had been thinking one thing but had written down something else. I didn't need to expose the person for making the mistake...that's not loving, honoring, or covering them. Now.. if only I could do this more often.
        This story has been in my minds quite vividly for the last few days, so I thot I'd share it bc it does have to w/ honor. When we go fully out to be obedient to the absolute best of our ability, no matter the cost, Daddy-God in turn honors our faith and obedience w/ encouragements and confirmations. I'm not into having a big wedding and never have been bc I hate being in the limelight, and I was created to do things differently. Lol... Anyway, the older I get, the harder it is to go to these fancy events bc of the journey I've been on, but Daddy-God gave me a comfort and encouragement for two in particular that made me smile. For these two weddings, my mom and I stayed at a hotel on Cliff Road and across from Jerry's Floor Store, which was surrounded by lush green trees and green foliage. It made me smile every time I saw it or thot about it... Daddy-God does see. He sees it all.
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Aug. 11, 13
        Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Philippians 4:8
        This morning, Eric talked about staying in the Word and being positive, seeing the good that's happening all around us...see that the world is getting better and that people mean well. This was such an encouraging confirmation for me bc I truly do assume that all people mean well, even the person who has brought me the most pain. This person definitely never intended to hurt me or my treasures. I genuinely feel that this person has always meant well, but it still hurts beyond my brain's ability to form thots. So when I worship enough to get the pain to go down to a level where I can think, I forgive this person and pray for Daddy-God to bless their socks off and give them every desire of their heart.
        Eric also talked about how our perspective is determined by where we get our information. "The world is not getting worse, it's getting better. Do your homework." The media will mostly give us negative drama, so we need to find a trusted source that will tell us all of the amazing things that Daddy-God is doing all over this planet! His Light is shining brighter now more than ever before! This is the best time to be alive!
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Aug. 7, 13
        In the morning, Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait expectantly. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalms 5:3 & 27:14
        A few months ago, Pastor Bill spoke on waiting and how waiting on the Lord is not a passive thing. Waiting is active, knowing what Daddy-God is doing and lying in wait, in pounce mode, for Him. Waiting on Him, for me, has often involved making a decision to step out, but it's all about our hearts. When our deepest truest heart's desire is Him and being right w/ Him, He knows and will honor it by not letting us go off track...if it's not, then often He'll give us what we want, which quite often doesn't turn out well. He will work w/ us and let us fumble around until He becomes our deepest and truest desire.
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Aug. 4, 13
        This, then, is how you should pray: "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your Name, Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." Matthew 6:9 & 10
        Some people feel that this verse is for the millennium (when Jesus is here? .. I'm not taking a field trip down south, thank you!) This verse is for the here and now until Jesus comes to set up His Kingdom here! So how do we bring His Kingdom here? Carry/host His Presence everywhere we go and in everything we do, so that from His Presence in and on us, people will be healed, set free, released into their destinies...His Kingdom. And sometimes we can bring His Kingdom into our circumstances by simply being who He made us to be and full of His Love, His Joy, and His Hope. :')
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Aug. 1, 13
        Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
        When Daddy-God begins something and makes a promise, He will fulfill His word and complete what He promised. So never give up!
Don't Ever Give Up!!

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July 28, 13
        The tongue of the righteous is choice silver.. The lips of the righteous nourish many.. The lips of the righteous know what is fitting.., the tongue of the wise brings healing. A kind word cheers [a person] up.. A gentle answer turns away wrath.. The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life.. The heart of the righteous weighs its answers.., and pleasant words promote instruction.. A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. (Proverbs 10:20-21 & 32; 12:18 & 25; 15:1, 4 & 28; 16:21; 25:11)
        Our words create atmospheres, positive and life-bearing, or negative aad destructive. "Did you see those precious kiddos selling rocks?" versus "Did you see those annoying girls? I wish they'd shut up."
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July 24, 13
Calvin & Hobbs
        So my thot today came from Calvin & Hobbes instead of a verse - it can happen :') And it made me laugh. Delay (as in the delay of having your own children near) increases the value of people and circumstances. The benefits of having things delayed go beyond a Daddy-God's payback w/ interest, bc you can be enthralled w/ circumstances like pooey diapers, no sleep and this, which others who don't know the pain of waiting so long might not enjoy so much. Lol
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July 21, 13
        The Lord said, If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Genesis 11:6
        As you may notice, the Lord's been bringing up covenant, oneness, and unity, well for years I guess;') but this weekend He's been reminding again me of the power that's in unity. Just look at this verse alone! There is so much power in unity and covenant! The Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit even took notice and said in this verse that nothing is impossible for those who come together and form one mind, one heart, and one spirit about something! This is what the Lord wants for His Body, a unified church that nothing can stand against. Pastor Bill even talked this morning about getting along... can we give up our right to have justice for peace with other members of the Body if no one in the Body is there to be an arbitrator? Are we willing to give up the right(?) to be or appear to be right for unity in the Body? Giving up these rights does not lead to a lack in healthy boundaries - it's actually a part of humility and being a servant as Jesus was and is. Unity is a really big deal to Daddy-God, and this may be one reason... What if
oneness and unity in the Body and in marriages forms the environment that hosts heaven on earth and where miracles can be plucked out of the air?
        Wow, I'm listening to the worship from last Sun. morning, and Pastor Eric just started talking about covenant! He talked about how our culture sees covenant as something to benefit me (no wonder promises and covenants are broken so often), but in Daddy-God's culture a covenant is actually made for the other person's benefit! Biblical covenant is that I will make a covenant w/ you if it benefits you. I will make a commitment for the rest of my life bc it benefits you.
        WOW again! Daddy-God's laying it on thick.. Just read this tweet from Kris Vallotton about selfishness, which is the opposite of covenant, so I'll end w/ his tweet.
I think that selfishness is at the root of every failed relationship. Here are 8 things that define selfish people:

1-they put their needs before anyone and everyone else's
       - opposite of covenant.
2-they are convinced that their family should adjust their lives to
       fulfill their own destiny. For example; a man gets married
       and feels that the women should lay down her life to follow him.
       (Opposite of what the bible teaches and opposite of covenant.)
3- they are unaware of how their life affects the people around them.
       Their feelings are paramount - opposite of covenant.
4- they value their own happiness above commitment and will veto
       their own covenants to achieve it - opposite of covenant.
5-they are unwilling to live for the success of others and in fact they
       measure success by their own achievements - opposite of covenant.
6- people around them are not allowed to show negative emotions
       or share their problems with them.
7- they spend most of their resources (time, money, energy, thought, ect)
        on themselves - opposite of covenant.
8- people talk fast around them because they know that selfish people
       are uninterested in other's passions or problems - opposite of covenant.

If this is you, it's time to wake up and smell the coffee. If this is someone in your home, refuse to feed their dysfunction. Tell them to grow up!

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July 16, 13
        Forgive, and you will be forgiven. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." Luke 6:37c & 1 Peter 5:5
        I had an interesting lesson in this today. This afternoon, someone came home from work, airing out how tired they were bc they had worked all day, then they gulped down soda noisily and belched loudly as they do every day they come home from work. So today, I irritatedly excused them and then added (not out of love or honor) how rude it is to burp and didn't accept their reasonings for letting it rip, so they left. I knew I had to apologize for saying it w/ the wrong attitude, and I did even tho I didn't want to...now the Lord has to heal hearts that were wounded from my lack of love and honor. He will, but it could have been avoided if I had kept my love on.
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July 14, 13
        ...a man will leave his father and mother [and be joined to his wife], and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate. Mark 10:7-9
        A friend gave me this verse at the very beginning of my stand for restoration...she had an amazing ability to keep me focused on what I knew in my spirit I had to do, to stay faithful and believe for complete restoration even tho my heart was ripping bc of the circumstances. She kept a Kingdom perspective on it when I couldn't. Over the last fourteen years Daddy-God has worked into me a strong understanding of the covenant I made and the meaning of one flesh; one flesh is not merely sex, one flesh is the uniting of minds, hearts, and spirits, then bodies are united after a covenant is made. Well, this morning during worship, Daddy-God began showing me the power and authority that I have in Him to stand in my treasure's stead bc of the vow I had made to be his one flesh covenant.. He told me that I needed to stand in his stead right then, and as I did, He showed me that I can praise Jesus as his one flesh covenant wife to bring the Kingdom into his atmosphere, which will cause non Kingdom things to be repelled away from him and not be able to stick any longer. He also showed me how in Him I can stand as tho I'm inside of him like I've been in my dreams (bc He has made us one), and how I can praise and exult Jesus to attract heaven and blessing to him bc praising the King creates an atmosphere that draws Daddy-God's heart and favor! Merely praising Jesus as his one flesh covenant wife can call forth Kingdom things for him that he might not be able to call forth for himself and his circumstances.
        When worship ended, Pastor Bill started talking from Isaiah 35:3-4 and Job 22:28-30 about taking ownership of each other's weaknesses and problems (not their fears, unbeliefs, etc.) by declaring true Holy Spirit felt words of encouragement and by calling forth the Lord's vindication and complete restoration and redemption for them when they can't call it forth for themselves. .. So as covenant spouses (which is even more powerful), we can call forth the Lord's vindication and complete restoration and redemption for our covenant spouses as well as praise the King in their stead to attract the Kingdom to their environments...so they can have an escort into the Throne Room ;') Oh how I will miss you, my love.
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July 9, 13
        For the word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all He does. Psalm 33:4
        Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him. Psalm 34:8
        Daddy-God is always good and always faithful. It was a thot that made me smile as I was doing the dishes tonight. Whether we understand His delays or the hard things He allows to happen, our Daddy-God is always good and is always faithful, faithful to repay, restore, bring justice, fulfill His promises, etc. bc He is always Love - He is patient and kind. He does not envy, does not boast, and is not proud (He gives us credit for what He does thru us.). He does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, and He keeps no record of wrongs when He forgives. He does not delight in evil but rejoices with the Truth. He always protects, always trusts/believes in us, always hopes, always perseveres. He never fails us. He is truly good bc He is Love in its entirety.
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July 5, 13
        In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out; but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out - until the day it lifted. So the cloud of the Lord was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the Israelites during all their travels. Exodus 40:36-38
        Eighteen years ago today was when Daddy-God first promised me that He was going to restore to me the years that the swarming locust has eaten (Joel 2:25). At the time, it meant that He was promising to repay me for what I had gone thru before I had left home, and I gradually understood that this was a covenant He had made to me... Then a few years later, He asked for a covenant commitment of unwavering steadfast faithfulness from me, which I said yes to. A few days ago, as I squirmed out of weariness from life and the lack of frequent support (and coddling) for "staying faithful no matter what", He asked me why I had made this covenant and promise to Him to stay faithful to my best friend and treasure thru anything, no matter what happened. Was it to get something for myself or my ego, or was it truly to commit myself to being faithful and a trustworthy support for life no matter what happened? I remembered laying down my wishes and desires to become a lifelong support of this person who has an out-of-this-world huge destiny bc he is a favorite son of the King of the universe! I also remembered that my motive for making this covenant hadn't been for anything I might gain from it, and that it was only after making this covenant to stay faithful no matter what happened that Daddy-God had Promised that He would restore it all so completely that there will be
no evidence that things had once been different from what He had Promised me.
        Eric's message on Sunday was about camping on whatever Daddy-God is camping on, and not moving on until the "cloud/fire" lifts and moves forward. W/ me He has camped on getting me to trust Him to fulfill His Promises and on getting me to stay faithful to the covenant and promises that I have made in spite of others' reactions... Over the years, I've been told "in love" that this isn't of God and that I'm psychologically off; I've been laughed at, mocked, told not to waste my life for this treasure, and many other such things. But people are never ever a waste! Staying faithful is what covenant is all about. W/ so much lack of support and encouragement, I told the Daddy-God that I would not stay on this journey of being faithful and a trustworthy support for my best friend unless I had at least one friend who sees that my stand is truly a God-thing and pastoral covering. He has always given me this: at least one friend, pastoral covering and whatever I have asked for to keep going.
        Even tonight, I was tired and thot I'd read last week's testimonies of Daddy-God bringing restoration to standers like me in order to encourage myself. This time I prayed for there to be a testimony from someone who's stood as long as I have. All of the testimonies I've ever read are from those who have been standing for their restoration anywhere from a few weeks to a few years, but never as long as I have been standing. As I read the very first testimony, it was from a stander who had begun her stand a year before I did, and last week she witnessed and is now living out the restoration that Daddy-God had promised her. It seems like Daddy-God is still camping on my stand for restoration, so it's probably wise for me to stay put and not "move on" unless He does. :')
Posted by Jessica at 11:57 PM.         Post a comment.       2 Likes

July 1, 13
        He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free, Psalm 146:7
        We don't always end up in a prison in the enemy's camp bc of a sin or rebellion. Sometimes we end up as captives, and captives become trapped in situations bc of someone else's sin and there wasn't a way out. This is why I personally hesitate about not helping someone...what if Daddy-God is using me to give them away out of a trap of the enemy? Proverbs 3:27 says not to withhold good from those to whom it is due when it is in your power to do it, inconvenient or not. I guess the Lord has made this a really big deal to me by showing me how the lack of support from believers has backed many people into the enemy's camp and that they didn't end up in their circumstances bc of their own sin or rebellion but bc of someone else's.
        I had a dream this morning about being taken captive and how easy it can be to escape from the enemy's camp bc Daddy-God can distract the guards and give us the help we need to get out. I had been taken captive by "the bad guys", and all the captives had been brought into this underground parking garage, which led out to an outside area that was enclosed by 20 feet high chain link fences and a mountainside-like rock wall that let light in at the top. I never saw my fellow captives, or any guards for that matter, but as I surveyed my enclosure and the rock wall, I saw a man dressed in off-white shirt and pants. He felt safer than safe (one of my guardian angels?) and was there to escape w/ me, so he lifted me up by my waste then boosted my higher by holding my legs. When I could finally step onto a ledge, he was suddenly behind me, pinning me to the wall I was digging thru so that I wouldn't fall. I felt safe having him at my back and got excited as my digging and moving of rocks and cement pieces produced a hole w/ lots of bright light that we could now crawl thru, then I woke up.
Posted by Jessica at 8:36 PM.        
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June 30, 13
        Hearing that, they walked away, one after another, beginning with the oldest. The woman was left alone. Jesus stood up and spoke to her. Woman, where are they? Does no one condemn you?
        "No one, Sir."
        Neither do I, said Jesus. Go on your way, and don't do it any more. John 8:10 & 11
        I haven't liked this verse bc it has felt so condemning, which is probably just bc someone's voice from my childhood still rings in my ears, and I need a sozo. :') Anyway, as I was thinking about the trip my mom and I were driving back from, I saw this picture. Last night, our friends' friend took each of us on a ride in his fancy dancy dune buggy! Dune buggies are very wide and low to the ground, making them very fun to ride and hard to tip over, and I saw grace being like a dune buggy and legalism being like a diesel truck. W/ the law, if we mess up once, we crash, burn, and die, but w/ grace we can stay upright and keep going bc grace has a wider floor, so to speak. It says, "I forgive you and see you as tho you had never done [x, y or z]. So keep on going, knowing how deeply you are loved, and don't do it anymore." It's a completely yielded heart before Daddy-God that is seen more than perfect actions... Grace gives us so much freedom to learn, grow, explore, bump into things, be air born over embankments, experiment, etc. in our journeys to become who we were made to be, but it never gives us the freedom to hurt Daddy-God's heart by going against Him. I know that w/ how often I mess up and have to face man's disapproval, I wouldn't make it thru each day w/out grace...He keeps me upright and moving forward.
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June 25, 13
        The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10
        This morning as I was getting ready for the day and enjoying the continuing of the rain, I was calling forth restoration, justice, supernatural favor and blessing for myself and my family as I had called forth rain the week before as an experiment. After asking the Daddy-God about how to do it, (from His Presence) I had simply said, "Rain come. Gentle, healing, refreshing rain come, not destructive rain. You can come Thursday, Friday, Sunday or next week, but not Saturday bc I'm doing a Game Day w/ clients." Saturday turned out to be very pleasant in the shade, and Sunday I awakened to a gentle rain that has continued off and on these past two days!
        Anyway, this morning when I left my room, I was reminded that I needed to get the blue bag for my mom bc she wanted to start packing for our trip, so I went and found the bag. In the bag was something I recognized, and when my mom looked inside, she realized that it was where she had put a few things for safe-keeping...they hadn't been lost! It served as a huge reminder to me that it doesn't matter what has been lost or destroyed, or how it happened, it will be restored!
Posted by Jessica at 10:29 PM.        
Post a comment.       1 Comment Good job Jessica!!!       2 Likes

June 22, 13
        Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10
        Yesterday when I was speaking w/ the CEO of the company I've started working for, Holy Spirit showed up as we began talking about honor and having a culture of honor w/in the company and w/ our clients. I've wanted and have striven to learn how to honor others since the first time I felt honored by a person who made it a consistant pattern from then on. It's not that the specific two that I often write about have been the only good people in my life, but they have lifted me up in the language of my heart, a language that undid things I never should have had to learn and built me up in a way that enabled me to heal from them.
        One of the guys had gone to chapel early to save seats for us in the front row, and his face lit up when he saw me making my way towards them. The worship band was playing for the enjoyment of it, and my best friend's dad was leaning against the piano talking with one of the girls. He put his arms around her, and I watched. There was a clean sweetness to his hug and his touch that stirred a longing in me, but I knew that would never be for me or be a part of my life. I knew that I would never know anything like that, so I looked away and sat down in front of the piano.
        Chapel was going to start any minute, and I when turned my head to watch the band play, I saw my best friend's dad looking at me. He winked and smiled. His eyes were bright, clear and smiling, and at that moment it felt as though he saw down into the deepest places of my heart. His eyes talked to me as they held me in their gaze, and I startled and froze in my seat. I did not know what to say back. My heart was in my throat, and I hoped I was smiling back at him. His gaze terrified me as much as it drew me with its steady gentleness.
        When chapel let out, a friend asked me if I wanted to go to choir practice with him later that night. I knew that my best friend’s dad also directed the choir he sang in, and I knew that he really liked him, so I said I would go with him. We met in the parking lot, laughing and talking all the way to the choir room, but when we had climbed the stairs and reached the door, my heart leaped into my throat again. I knew that the man inside that door was different from the men I had known, but I had no idea what to expect. His eyes had penetrated my heart deeply as other's had, but he had not looked me over or stripped me with them, and I sensed he never would. It was a secure yet frightening unknown, and I did not I have any idea how to interact with him. Everything was a frightening unknown.
        I sat down next to my friend and pulled out the book I had brought. I knew that I did not have enough control over my pitch to sing well, so I had decided to bring a book, read, and listen. Nevertheless, the music was so fun that I could not restrain myself from looking up from my book to watch. My friend smiled and moved his piece of music towards me so that I could follow along; we sang and he watched the director. Midway through the second song I forced my eyes to look up at him even though I had no clue what to say with them if he saw me. When I did, he was looking straight at me, wide-eyed and smiling, and he winked when he had caught my eye and directed me as we sang. My mind went blank, so I quickly looked down. The sweetness I had felt that morning when he had looked into my eyes welled up inside of me again. It made me feel clean and sweet again, and I wanted more of whatever this was.
        We finished the stack of music before it seemed possible to have gone through it all, and then we had a prayer time and broke for refreshments. As I turned towards my friend, I saw my best friend’s dad coming towards us. I watched my friend nervously and intently as he greeted my best friend’s dad then turned towards me to introduce me.
        My best friend's dad reached out his hand towards mine and took it in his. "Hi! I'm Al. What's your name?"
        "Jessica." I shoved through my vocal cords and out my mouth. "What may I call you?"
        "Call me Al. Can I get you anything?"
        "A little."
        "Fruit?"
        "Yes, please."
        "Anything else?"
        No, thank you." So he winked and smiled and left to fix my plate.
        Upon his return, I promptly knocked the entire stack of music off the desk and onto the floor, where I went a split second later, feeling low as dirt and wishing I could disappear under the carpet.
        "Can I get that for you, Boss?" he asked.
        I looked up and nodded a thank you, and he smiled and winked as he put the stack back in order.
        He was not annoyed at my clumsiness, and the name he spoke to me breathed a feeling of dignity and worth into my being. When I stood up, he asked if he could give me a hug. I nodded, so he put his arms around my shoulders in a gentle hold against himself. His touch was clean, and I felt it seep into the pours of my skin and into my soul.
        When we help someone (who genuinely needs it), it means that we have something they don't have. Lack always sets a distinction that the one helping may not always feel, or feel in the way the one being helped feels it. Those who need our help or simply don't have the blessings we have need to be lifted up in an honoring way, yet putting someone or something down as a way to lift another up is never the way to honor them. It just keeps the person where they are and puts the other person/thing in a dirty ditch...so no one's been lifted up. My best friend's dad consistently called me Boss, Pretty Girl, or Sunshine, esp. when he was helping me, which made me feel as much of a fully dignified human being as himself and showed me how truly important it is to honor others.
Posted by Jessica at 11:55 PM.        
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June 19, 13
        For His anger lasts only a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
        This verse has been in my head all evening as I've been feeling a wave of such high ecstatic joy and freedom. It feels like this is a taste of what's coming. The joy in what's coming is so huge that I can see now how it could crush us if the Lord hadn't been using these tough circumstances to strengthen us. He's been using all of these hard seasons to grow us and strengthen us so that we have a greater, wider, higher, deeper capacity to enjoy the hugeness of all the good stuff that He has up His sleeve for us.
Posted by Jessica at 8:57 PM.        
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June 16, 13
        Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
        Delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:3 & 4
        These are such good verses for today! The second part of these verses is a song we used to sing in choir, and the first part goes w/ this story of the night that I realized that I could actually feel safe and be covered by another human being.
        I'm very logically minded and can very easily disregard every feeling or sense I have bc I had it ingrained in me from day one that my feelings and emotions were what made me inferior to men. I've always known in my head, however, that I am not inferior! I am logical like a man! Such as it was, early on, whenever I sensed something like creepiness in a man, I knew to keep my distance from him even tho I was always told that how I felt was nothing and how could I think that way?
        Going to choir practice and learning how to interact normally w/ my best friend's dad began a healing process that was deep and gruesome for me, but oh so freeing! His empathy, his comments, and his winks and smiles drew me out, requiring me to work my feeling, sensing, intuitive, and confidence-in-who-I-am muscles. They also helped me to oh-so-slowly-learn not to be ashamed of my emotions. Still, bc of where I had come from I knew that I would never know how to maintain healthy relationships so I wanted to keep my distance from him, but Daddy-God's nudges and his constant winks, smiles, and encouraging conversations made this impossible. During chapel, church, and choir practice, my friend often elbowed me w/ a smile and a nod towards him, "[He]'s looking at you!" and when I'd look up he'd sing w/ me and wink and smile. Was He as feeling as me even tho he's a man that's pretty high up?
        One night when I went to choir practice, my friend wasn't there, so I decided to sit somewhere new and not be like people who do things one way all the time. I wanted feel comfortable and safe in new settings as well as familiar ones, so I climbed the steps and sat by a man in the top row. I opened the first piece of music, trying to ignore how icky I was feeling (which I now know is discernment...and I also now know how to push it back and bring its opposite). I tried looking up at the director like normal, but by the second song I felt too icky and exposed to even look up from the page. Suddenly he stopped us, which he often did when he wanted to adjust something.
        "I never do this, but I want everyone to pick up their things and move to a different seat. And you can't sit by the people you're sitting w/."
        I scurried down a few rows, trying to unicky myself and thinking that he couldn't possibly have done this bc of (for?) me. As I settled in my new seat, I looked back to see if another girl had sat where I had been bc the man hadn't moved. I gasped when I saw a girl sit next to him, but before I could blink, the director asked her to move over and share music w/ his wife. I was so shocked that he seemed to know what was happening, validating its reality, that I momentarily forgot how exposed I was feeling and looked at him in wonder. Had he truly picked up on the ickiness I was feeling? Whether he had or not, he seemed to know how to get me out of the situation w/out exposing it, or me, or the other girl, or the man. Even tho I had moved, I still felt icky and exposed, which I knew he would see... and interestingly, he wouldn't look at me. So I worked on clearing my mind and focusing on the music, the notes/chords and their sounds and rhythms until the songs filled my mind, leaving no room for anything else. Once my thots cleared and my confidence returned, I watched him intently until he looked at me and directed me w/ winks and smiles.
        Having him know what to do and not do, even when to look at me and when to give me space, made me feel safe and covered, instead of reprimanded for being sensitive. When he or my best friend are w/in sight I've come to feel safe and taken care of...and Daddy-God keeps it that way. I think Daddy-God blesses us w/ amazing people as He's blessed me w/ these two and their incredible wife/mom not only to lift us up and encourage us, but also to give us examples of how to live our lives. These two have taught me so much simply by how they live and love day to day, so Happy Daddy's Day to two of the best!!
Posted by Jessica at 10:56 PM.        
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June 15, 13
        Many are saying of me, "God will not deliver him." But You, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. Psalms 3:2 & 3
        This life-long journey of being changed into Daddy-God's likeness has been more exhilarating and sweet than it has been stretching and tough. Today, I had a bit of breakthru in my inner battle against having my identity and my feel-goods come from my job position and responsibilities, and it fascinates me to see how He works! The past few days has been an intense struggle not to feel humiliated by what's been happening at one of my jobs, and I've done well at forgiving, blessing, declaring the opposite of however I'm feeling over myself and everyone.. then praising and worshipping Him. But it's felt like I was going against a torrent of attacks of fear, humiliation, shame, etc. that would drowned me if I relaxed. Then about a half hour ago, I noticed that my head was up and the torrent was gone! I felt like He was showing me how He honors persistence and how He truly is the lifter of our heads, both in our inner world and our external world w/ those around us! Tho I wonder if He lifts us up on the inside first, so that when He lifts us up on the outside, we'll have the wisdom,
sensitivity, and Love to lift others up as He has us rather than step on or over them.
Posted by Jessica at 11:38 PM.         Post a comment.       3 Likes

June 11, 13
        "Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth..." Isaiah 54:4
        It's been a whole year of writing these thots, and here's another one. Something not nice was said to me this morning by a supervisor at the job I have where I've recently had some not nice things happen.. After silently forgiving and blessing the person and remembering who I am as His favorite girl, I quietly spoke out the opposite, declared justice over the whole humiliating situation, and then realized that I couldn't remember what had been said! It made me smile, and Daddy-God reminded me of His Promise, that
He WILL restore everything and erase the pain as tho nothing had been destroyed. Love that story :') Love this story too...Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas!!
        Shout to the Lord is playing right now...haven't heard it in ages! Shout to the Lord! Forever I'll love You! Forever I'll stand! 'cause nothing compares to the promise I have in You! - This has been Daddy-God's song to me ever since the Sun. morning when a lady came up to me from behind, and w/out knowing what was going on right then, she put her arms around my shoulders and sang this song in my ear...Nothing compares to the promise Jessica has in You!
        Yes! Nothing compares to the promises we have in You!
Posted by Jessica at 11:03 PM.         Post a comment.       2 Comments Yes and Amen!
Really good :)
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June 9, 13
        To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure... Titus 1:15
        Eric touched on this tonight, and it was such a good reminder that the way we think determines what/
who are drawn to us, where we get our information, and what we will glean from the information. If we want to see how bad everything is in the world, that perspective is only a click of a button away...just turn on the news and everything will seem worse than we thot. But if we see that this is a great time to be alive and want to see the good that's going on all over the world, the information on all the amazing things that Daddy-God is up to all over the world is also merely seconds away. What is our perspective and our line of thinking? Do we find the gold in people and circumstances, or do we look for the bad things? ... Note - when we're pulling out the good in people and situations, it's still vitally important to maintain healthy boundaries!
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June 3, 13
        "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
        Today, as I reread a little illustration Daddy-God had given me for my little treasure, I thot I'd share it here.
        ...Today, Daddy-God showed me how making cookies is a good picture of why we need to listen to Him and obey Him. There are many things Daddy-God asks us to do. Some of the things He asks us to do are easy, and some are hard. Some seem very important, while others seem not important at all. Yet everything He asks us to do has a purpose. Like the baking soda we put in the cookie mix, it doesn't taste good by itself, but it helps the cookies to be soft! So we can't leave out the baking soda just because it tastes bad. Also, too much yummy honey or butter in the cookies will make us sick.
        In the same way, we need to follow the recipe He gives each of us because He has a special future planned for each of us. Just as if He was making almond cookies for you and fudge cookies for me, some of the ingredients for your future, the things He asks you to do or not do, will be different from some of the ingredients for my future, the things He asks me to do or not do.
Posted by Jessica at 11:20 PM.        
Post a comment.       1 Comment Wow...this is an awesome analogy, Jessica... Thx for sharing! :)       5 Likes

May 31, 13
        "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26 & 27
        We all know this verse, but how is it really played out. I had yet another unjust thing happen to me today and had this passionate response of anger, which is unusual for me as I naturally let things roll off and don't stand up to things that happen to me. Yet Daddy-God had named me Warrior C_____ Girl the summer my dad left for good, and He did it for several reasons. One reason was that I wasn't getting the C_____ part, and another reason was that He also wanted to clarify that He had created me to be a warrior, to take a stand and to fight for what's right and for my inheritance. Over the years, He's poked at me to get passionate cries out of me, so today as I felt so much anger over the injustice being done to me, I channeled my anger into passionate cries for justice. This is very familiar territory since I have learned over the past 18 years how to channel my love and aching for my best friend and our little treasure into prayers and declarations of hope, joy, and destiny over them. Anger isn't a sin, but any destructive thot or action response is. Getting in Daddy-God's face for justice and breakthru isn't a sin, but bitterness, negativity, doubt, resistance against Him is.
        As a side note: channeling our love for someone into prayers, esp. for Daddy-God to overwhelm them w/ His Love for them and pour His Goodness into them, keeps our love for them appropriate and healthy (no way, really?!). This means that we can love them as deeply and passionately as we want to bc prayer filters out any unLoving stuff and until it changes us and purifies our love and our hearts/motives enough that no filter is needed!
Posted by Jessica at 1:07 PM.        
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May 29, 13
        So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
        As I laying in bed this morning, battling fear and even stupid terror that I would utterly fail at my first all-day shift and lose my job, Daddy-God said verse this to me thru one of our Bethel worship songs that was quietly playing. I got ready, declaring supernatural favor and blessing and on and on over myself, my treasures, my families, our neighborhoods, cities, state and nation (HA!) and decided to face the shift head on. A half hour into it, I figured out how easily the transportation issue could be fixed, and from there another situation opened up ... So we made a few phone calls, and a person came w/in two hours...so that ball is rolling now! During the rest of the shift, I successfully did the tasks needed.
        It reminded me of something I had noticed even in high school. It is very important to know the difference between what our spirits are feeling and what our hearts are feeling. I remember when I was in high school and not wanting to go to Team, the Ev. Free youth group, almost more than my spirit felt drawn to go. They were the first to treat me as a normal human while covering my shortcomings, and I always had fun. So I always listened to my spirit and went, and I was always glad to be there as it was a bit of heaven the middle of everything else that wasn't so heavenly. Today, it felt like some Kingdom things were accomplished, so that's what the enemy was against. His lies, fear or even the I-don't-feel-like-it are never worth taking into consideration. We need to be listening to our spirits, which are intertwined w/ His Spirit and His Heartbeat. :')
Posted by Jessica at 11:55 PM.        
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May 25, 13
        Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:13
        "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten - the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm - " Joel 2:25
        I felt like Daddy-God is saying that He sees each of us and every minute detail of all that we've been thru, and that He is about to start pouring back into our laps to the point of overflowing all that we have sown. I feel like this is a now word. Here's the second part: Nothing is wasted...ever. This holds true esp. for those of us who have sown/poured into those people/circumstances others have that are the very things the enemy has (temporarily) taken from us. We can sow and be poured out as long as we have the grace for it, but when the grace lifts, it's okay to re-evaluate w/ Holy Spirit and take a rest. Rest is good and a must, esp. since we may need it for what the Lord is launching us into next. Rest resets us! ;')
Posted by Jessica at 8:30 PM PM.        
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May 22, 13
        From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth - He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do. Psalms 33:13-15
        A long time ago, Daddy-God showed me how He sees Time, and He reminded me of it this weekend. He showed me a coffee table, and the coffee table represents Time. Like us looking down on a coffee table, He looks down on Time and can see the creation of Time, the world, and Adam at the same moment that He sees the other end when Jesus is returning. He sees where we'll be bc He can see each and every choice we will make, and I think that He if we don't choose plan A, He always presents us w/ the option to the way back to plan A... which includes restoration, payback and justice for whatever's been lost, stolen or destroyed along the detour. This also helped me to sees why time is not something that worries Him.
Posted by Jessica at 11:03 PM.        
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May 20, 13
        Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, Ephesians 3:20
        Chris O. talked on Fri. night about believing for the impossible and that if we can think it, He can do it. This renewed my hope again and awakened my senses, then as I thot on this hugeness of this Reality, the partnering w/ Him came to mind. Even tho everything is ours and there's no limit to what He can do, it's still all about partnering w/ Him to bring it about. For over fifteen years now, Daddy-God has been showing me that this life is all about a partnership w/ Him where He shows us what He wants to have happen, so that thru an intimate relationship and partnership w/ us He can accomplish His Will and bring His Kingdom to earth. It blows me away how deeply Daddy-God loves us, values us, and longs for intimacy and partnership w/ each of us individually so much that He prefers to work w/ us (and our shortcomings) to bring about His Will. I saw Him wallpapering a room w/ a 2 year old...He'd rather do what He's planned w/ us instead of for us bc of the intimacy between Him and us which that creates. Talk about Love and Enduring Patience! Wow!!
Posted by Jessica at 12:44 AM.        
Post a comment.       1 Comment Good stuff, Jessica . It really is a great revelation!       3 Likes

May 15, 13
        Kris posted this this morning, and I thot it was so good... To the lazy, life is work. To the blind, life is a sacrifice. To the passionate, life is an adventure. To the atheist, life is a meaningless game of chance. To the Believer, life is divinely orchestrated love affair, played out on this beautiful stage we call earth, climaxing in a wedding so extravagant that it is literally beyond your wildest imagination. Creatures from every dimension of the cosmos will look on as the Bridegroom takes the hand of His stunning bride.
        So perfectly and beautifully put! I found myself still seeing life as an adventure even tho so many things have happened, but I want to see life as a believing daughter.
Posted by Jessica at 11:00 AM.        
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May 12, 13
        God said to Moses, I Am Who I Am. Exodus 3:14
        This verse I wrote on back in
August, but Kris' message this morning reminded me of this aspect of Daddy-God that blows me away every time I think about it. He truly is Who we need Him to be, so that we can be who He created us to be.
        I grew up being berated and torn apart to no end, even to the point of being told that whatever I thot that was different from what this person thot was automatically wrong, even if I was actually right. I was also told by some that I didn't see reality realistically, so (even tho I've done a lot of healing) when I'm not around encouragers, I still struggle to have any confidence in what I think and how I view things/life/everything. This is why messages like the one this morning blow me away and why it fascinates me that starting when I was in high school, the Lord gave me Eph. 3:12 to show me who He created me to be and how He wants our relationship to work.
        It's crazy to me that He wants me to be strong and bold and to say what I think and feel w/ passion and confidence, but He does. In order to bring me out and build me up, He is never ever harsh or negative w/ me. Instead, He points out every single positive thing He can find in me, and He also encourages (pokes/pushes) me to stand up to Him and tell Him exactly what I think and feel, the bad, the ugly and all. He is pure Love, all Gentleness and all Encouragement to me, and if my attitude is wrong, He just quietly waits for me to be done and apologize. Lol :')
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May 6, 13
        "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that You are the Holy One of God." John 6:68 & 69
        Pastor Bill says this so well, "Where else can I go? When You speak, I come alive inside." I love that - even more than chocolate! Anyhoo, that truly resonate w/ me in the depths of my being...I love Him so so so much. - Hmmm, I just sensed that once we realize that His Word is our life, then we will truly live and live out our lives to their fullest. ...
        So I like sugar, esp. chocolate.. Chocolate is my comfort food, but if I even have a small bite every day, my face breaks out. This has bugged me a bit bc cocoa is actually good for you...it's the processed sugar and other ingredients that make it unhealthy. As I've wondered how to sweeten the cocoa in a healthy way, I ended up experimenting w/ honey, a sweet substance that's packed w/ healthy nutrients and incredible healing properties. The result was an amazingly intense dark chocolate! It was sooo good, and I haven't broken out yet!! (Add more honey for a sweeter chocolate and combine it w/ water, not dairy, to make a scrumptious drink and give your body the full range of nutrients and anti-oxidants it has to offer.)
        Yesterday Daddy-God showed me how this is also true w/ the food we feed our spirits. Processed foods are deprived of some to almost all nutrients, and our bodies don't have to burn very many calories to digest processed foods. Whole foods, on the other hand, are packed w/ nutrients and disease-fighting agents and they also make our bodies burn almost twice as many calories to digest them, keeping our bodies stronger and healthier. The Word is the food our spirits need, and if we only get the Word from pastors and other people who have processed it for us, we're going to become weak and sickly. Each of us needs to have our individual time in the Word every day in order to chew it and process it on our own and get from it all the nutrients He has for us. Then we are to check what we're hearing and learning w/ others whom we're accountable to. We must have both in order to stay healthy and on the right track.. Our spirits need a daily meal from the Word just as our bodies need whole foods to stay healthy and strong.
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April 30, 13
        Love covers all offenses. Whoever covers an offence seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Proverbs 10:12, 17:9 & 1 Peter 4:8
        No one likes to come up short or be in the wrong, for whatever reason. Am I going to expose someone's struggle so that I don't look irresponsible or unintelligent or inferior for believing in them and liking them when they didn't come thru? Sometimes covering someone (as Jesus does, not as an enabler) means that we will appear imperfect.
        "Maybe there was a mix-up in communication." or "Maybe I told them the wrong time." Instead of, "I don't know why they aren't here. I told them what time to come." - The first covers them while the latter covers myself.. I hate being in trouble or in the wrong, so this is very hard for me to do. Yet having to appear right, holy, spiritual, informed, responsible, etc. at the cost of someone's honor and dignity is not Kingdom, bc Love covers.
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April 28, 13 - Loving the one in front of you
        My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:12
        This is part 2 of Friday's story w/ Georgian. As soon as I said his name, he whirled around and had this "it's you!" smile on his face and in his eyes. My immediate thot was, How can he know me? We've never met. We hadn't ever met, but he was so filled w/ Daddy-God's Love that I felt Known and deeply Loved and Valued as soon as he saw that it was me who had called him. When others feel known by us, it's an indication that we are Loving well... which is a good thing, since that's why were on this ball of water!
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April 26, 13
        And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind Him and touched the edge of His cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. Luke 8:43 & 44
        On September 9, 07, something happened that caught my attention, which I understood when Georgian and Winnie Banov began speaking about their restoration. As we were worshipping, my friend tapped me on the shoulder,
        "Hey Jess, look! That's ----!"
        I looked over, and sure enough, there was a familiar treasured face on the wall. The face was made by the shadows on the wall, and it seemed to laugh w/ spunkiness and glee. I stared at it in awkward comfort... we were in church together! When Georgian went up to the platform and began telling his story of restoration, the message became clear and concrete...Daddy-God will restore everything! Since my friend had seen it first/too and since it remained on the wall for the next 8 to 10 months so that I was able to take a picture of it, this wonder sank in as being Real and something to keep me going "no matter what".
        Ever since that night, I've sensed that I've needed to have Georgian pray for me and release to me the breakthru he had had.. Well, today, I spent the day in Hebrews writing curriculum. Later in the afternoon, I noticed this guy w/ funky hair chatting w/ some of our worship leaders, and it slowly dawned on me that it was Georgian.
        Oh, that's Georgian, huh.....
        Silence from the Peanut Gallery.
        So I kept working while wondering if this was my chance. Am I suppose to talk to him?.
        Patiently, Well, ... he's here..
        By this time he was talking to someone, so I waited. While he was heading away, I caught his attention and told him my story, which he liked. Then he prayed w/ insight bc he could relate on two levels, not just the one. As Pastor Bill had said on Sunday, "Jesus gives us the revelation and insight into what belongs to us, and it's our responsibility to pursue it and exercise our faith to see what it looks like."
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April 21, 13
        A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly." Jesus did not answer a word. ... Then Jesus said to her, Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted. And her daughter was healed at that moment. Matthew 15:22-28
        Chris Gore spoke on this Fri. night and talked about how this Canaanite woman addressed Jesus as tho she was a Jewish woman. It wasn't until she came to Him as herself that He healed her daughter. Then Pastor Bill talked about revelation this morning, and I felt like the two are connected. He said that revelation reveals inheritance (how far our faith can go) on the mountaintop so to speak, which gives us better view, and faith explores the territories. Jesus gives us the revelation and insight into what belongs to us, and it's our responsibility to pursue it and exercise our faith to see what it looks like. Yet we must walk in our true identity in order to properly explore it w/ Him and be able to take possession it.
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April 17, 13
        Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that openly profess His Name. Hebrews 13:15
        Just praise Him. This is the last time in all eternity that we'll be able to give Him our sacrifice of praise. I need to ask Him to help me w/ this more than I do.
Posted by Jessica at 11:22 PM.        
Post a comment.       1 Comment Thx for the reminder...was praise dancing the other day...sacrifice is not always easy       2 Likes

April 14, 13
        God is NOT a man, that He should LIE, nor a son of man, that He should CHANGE HIS MIND. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill? Numbers 23:19
        He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:24
        I just came across these verses written in that exact format. One of my promises is that once everything is restored, it will be restored so completely that there will be
no evidence that things had once been different from what Daddy-God had Promised me. This weekend, it was esp. hard to believe this Reality, yet all day long today, even during announcements this morning, He has been reminding me that He can do anything! He can even restore (and has restored!) all aspects of virginity physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc. He can restore, undo, and redo anything and everything... if He promised it, He will do it!!!! And our faith releases Him to accomplish His Will (Matthew 13:58).
Posted by Jessica at 11:53 PM.         Post a comment.       1 Comment Thank you Jessica. I'm still waiting on my "promise baby" :) this resonates       3 Likes

April 12, 13
        For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
        Dawna DeSylva spoke on this verse tonight, and she talked about power, love and a sound mind in terms of ingredients. As she talked about having the right amount of each ingredient, she went into talking about power, and I realized that identity determines the amount and authenticity of the Holy Spirit 'power' ingredient. When our identity is in Christ, our 'power' ingredient won't be tainted w/ substitute spices like rage, anger, or control...when our identity is in Him, we will have the right amount and purity of each ingredient in the mix.
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April 7, 13
        "...the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord... These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever." Joshua 4:7
        Yesterday morning, I had a nice long dream about my two treasures, and I knew I needed to write it down in this special notebook I have. So I opened it, and as I started reading story after story, my heart remembered how real this journey and these Promises truly are. Daddy-God gives us signs, wonders, and miracles not only to encourage us now, but also to remind, revive, and encourage us later on as well. Of course, memorials are never to be idolized, but they are to be used as encouragements for the journey however often they're needed. One of my favorites is the
healed picture one.
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March 31, 13
        "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." Jeremiah 31:3
        Last night and today (esp. this morning) have been extra hard, and I lost it in my conversations w/ Daddy-God and told Him off every time He tried to talk to me. I went to church feeling dead, hopeless, and so dark and beyond help that I knew that how I was feeling could destroy others, so I was glad for others' sakes that no one seemed to know I was there. As I watched people worship, I realized in such a deep way how people who are hurting just need to be loved, not preached at or advised by well-meaning people. Sometimes advice can be overwhelming even tho the intentions are good ... bc sometimes people just need to be loved and comforted as Holy Spirit leads - which I need to improve on. Daddy-God did send one person to pray for me whose apparent calling renewed my hope a little bit since it's related to what lies ahead for me.
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March 28, 13
        Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23
        As I asked if there was something I needed to write on, this verse came to mind...again. I've been questioning Daddy-God today bc He's been promising one thing for almost 18 years now, and I'm tired. Yet I must remember that He IS faithful to every promise He makes! He continues to remind me of what He has promised, and He keeps me soooooo ridiculously focused on this one promise (He needs to do it then!) and has now been giving me timing words that all say the same month. Yesterday, the ministry that is focused on encouraging those who are making the same stand I am emailed me for the first time in maybe 10 years.
        Just now read this...wow. "When God overshadows you, you don't get to abort what he puts inside of you!" -Heidi Baker
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March 20, 13
        Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23
        The Father's been having me pray His Promises back to Him, and it's been amazing to see how much this has solidified my confidence and my knowing in my knower that it's a done deal...bc He Promised it - and He Promised more than once.
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March 17, 13
        You, then, why do you criticize your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Romans 14:10 & 12
        How is it helpful or positive to criticize others. What if we're unknowingly doing the same thing? I was just around someone who kept the conversation on themselves and didn't make sure that everyone else talked as much. It was stretching...so instead of being critical, I'm trying to be introspective. Do I do this w/ others? I'm trying to make sure that my conversations are two-way, if not more about the other person, but I'm not perfect at it. W/ almost everything that affects me negatively, I think about it until I can figure out why it hurt or stepped on my toes (I assume everyone means well and is trying to be as selfless as possible), then I ask Daddy-God to show me how to not do it to others. Thinking and introspection is never a bad thing as long as Daddy-God is guiding it...and it's good to correct w/in ourselves whatever we might not enjoy about others.
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March 11, 13
        "The angel of God said to me in the dream, 'Jacob.' I answered, 'Here I am.' And he said, 'Look up and see that all the male goats mating with the flock are streaked, speckled or spotted, for I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you. I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and where you made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land.'" Genesis 31:11-13
        I love how Daddy-God communicates to us in dreams, whether it's to encourage us, get our attention, show us His Will/Plans, give us guidance, or show us His Perspective - bc if He showed some of us (like me) His Perspective while we're awake our logic would reason His revelation down to nothing. I love coming to understand things from His Perspective bc then I can live in His Reality and bring heaven to earth. I can't wait to be able to share my two favorite dreams where Daddy-God showed me His Perspective on my place and role in the lives of my two treasures, my two favorite people on the planet.
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March 6, 13
        As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34
        The Lord gives me soooo much grace every single day, and I suppose it's bc He knows my heart and my intentions. Not everyone gives me that much grace, which is hard on me physically for the most part, since I have more control over my thots and attitudes than I do over relaxing my muscles. (Anger/frustration/crabbiness(anger, lol) in any form unnerves me and makes my muscles knot up, and I can't unknot them.) So it makes me very curious...how much grace are we suppose to give one another? As I wondered, I heard,
        As I am w/ you, so you need to be that w/ others.
        He loves, He forgives, He is never angry w/ me, He expects the best from me but gives grace, encouragement and patient help... and He never gets on me for being late. Lol, that's big, tons of grace to me. Altho He does remind me to keep my attitude right since I absolutely HATE being late for others, and it could ruin my day if I let it. He's even buckled the roads (or slowed time) to help me be on time, and I am to keep my attitude right and give others grace. So for me, it's giving others the pure love, forgiveness and grace He gives me.
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March 3, 13
        God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times and in various ways, Hebrews 1:1
        I think it's amazing that there's no end to the ways Daddy-God can speak to us and get our attention. Besides His Voice, His Word, and other believers, He uses music to speak to me as I mentioned yesterday, esp. when I get into a bad spiral. Maybe it's bc music is in my DNA more than most people realize... He also uses numbers bc they have meaning, so when I see a number over and over, I look up its meaning to find out what
He's saying. Sometimes He'll even use parts of movies or books to illustrate a truth, but when He really wants me to fully see and understand a 'Reality,' from His Perspective, He'll give me a dream.
        It also fascinates me that He doesn't just spoon-feed us so that we'll be good Christians. He speaks to each of us in a way that will entice us into deeper intimacy w/ Him bc we have to use the brains, eyes, ears, and hearts He's given us w/ Holy Spirit to press into Him to figure out what He's saying.
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March 1, 13
        For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
        Cirumstances struck an intensely painful chord the other night as I'm not fond of being left in the dark and thus unable to have a night out. I woke up the next morning struggling not to allow yet another painful thing to spiral me downward from pain to hopelessness. I struggled to still declare that I'm Daddy-God's favorite girl and other stuff, but I still couldn't see or feel any hope of any future good. As I struggled w/ my thots, I began to hear the song, "it's going to be great, it's going to be wild,
it's going to be full of Me."
        It is. It truly is going to be great, it is going to be wild, and it is going to be full of Him!
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Feb. 25, 13
        I will repay you what you lost in the years when swarms of locusts ate your crops-the hopping locust, the stripping locust, and the crawling locust, My great army which I sent among you. Joel 2:25
        He will repay and restore everything.
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Feb. 23, 13
        The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:25
        He truly will do as He has promised.
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Feb. 20, 13
        He who was seated on the throne said, I am making everything new! Then He said, Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true. Revelation 21:5
        I've been stuck on this song for the passed few days, "Jesus, You make all things new.." - A happy birthday to my Little Love, of whom I am so proud!! He will make all things new!
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Feb. 16, 13
        Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:48
        Ever since my first encounter 18 years ago w/ a gentleness I had never know before, I've had an insatiable desire to be like Daddy-God. This desire is so strong that I can't put it into words... but ever since then, all I've ever wanted is for Him to rip out of me every sin, every pattern, and every wrong motive, wrong thot, wrong longing and to change me into His Likeness at whatever the cost. It has made me desire to do whatever He asks me to do, no matter what it costs me, e.g. popularity, high esteem, abundant support and favor w/ man, physical comfort, etc. Yet He has always given me at least one friend,
pastoral covering and whatever I have asked for to keep going. I love Him so much! and I pray I never stop changing...
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Feb. 14, 13
        Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7 & 8
        Daddy-God reminded me of the question Bob Jones was asked when he died and came before Him. Did you learn to Love? Are we learning to be like Him... bc He is what love
looks like.
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Feb. 11, 13
        Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:25
        I think I've been in a season of Daddy-God opening the eyes of my understanding to how essential it is to walk by the Spirit 24/7 w/ such a sensitivity to Him that we move/speak as He is moving/speaking in every situation. Holy Spirit is not logical, rational or even proper at times, and I've seen how unencouraging head-choices can be when the person truly meant to do a good thing. This really sunk in recently when I sensed I needed to invite a friend to something.
        Invite her to this gathering. It's a safe place for her to be.
        Yet something didn't feel or fit right. Even so, I still felt His nudge to invite her.
        So I did. She couldn't go, but felt very loved and accepted bc she saw and felt that I genuinely care about her. It made me realize at such a deeper level how passionately He is after the heart-stuff and how He so wants to use us to bring healing, encouragement, refreshing, etc. to others. When we're obedient, Holy Spirit always makes it right for everyone involved and can always fix the details that we may be concerned about. :')
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Feb. 8, 13
        For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
        Much of what I do, I don't 'feel like doing.' This could be a personality thing bc of being a self-motivated, driven person, but it also may be from the countless experiences of being blessed by things I didn't feel like doing. I have found it intriguing how often I haven't wanted to do something or go somewhere (like going to a worship time or helping someone) just bc I was tired or felt pooey or just didn't 'feel like it.' Yet when I would check my spirit, look at the bigger picture and decide go/do whatever it was, I would end up completely, blessed, energized, and refreshed by the experience. This has happened so often that when I really don't 'feel like' going somewhere or doing a particular thing, I check my spirit to determine who doesn't want me to go or do a particular thing, bc it's interesting how much someone wants to keep us from being strengthened, blessed, energized, and refreshed. This someone tries to get us doing things, even helping others we're not suppose to help as a friend recently wrote about, to bog us down and make us too tired to engage in the right/refreshing and filling things. Corporate worship and group learning/growing times are two things that fill and refresh me, so I consciously make sure I go every time I can, bc if I don't go, it'll be another whole week or two or even three before I can have this particular filling experience again. I really feel like Daddy-God has lots of fun, refreshing, and filling experiences lined up for us to bless us and give us what we need to make it thru each day, week, month, etc. Some may not be appear to be as good as they'll prove to be later, so if He says Go for it, it'll be good...so dive in! :')
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Feb. 5, 13
        Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4
        The Kingdom and its principles are quite intriguing to me, and I think it's bc everything about it is so opposite from our natural world. I remember hearing someone say towards the end of my journey of healing that the very thing we fear most will become our safest place as we heal and learn to trust, and I knew this to be so true. The healing of my heart had come about thru the process of working thru all that had happened to me and simultaneously learning to trust my best friend and his dad. Every time I saw my best friend, I was so terrified that I could hardly breathe bc he could see straight into me, and I had no way to keep him out or put up defenses against him if he hurt me. So each time I spotted him, I would take a different route, even if it was longer, until the Lord said loud and clear, Every time you turn away from him, you're telling him to drop dead. Stop.
        I hated how completely vulnerable I felt around him, even more than with his dad, but I knew I must learn to face them together or separately, for they had never shown me anything except for the utmost gentleness and kindness.
        Let go of your pride, Jessica. Do you trust Me?
        Yes.
        Then you can trust them. They are safe.
        So I pulled myself together and faced him as best I knew how, trembling from head to toe, blanked-out mind, numb heart and all. Yet a strange thing began to happen. Every time I ran into him and forced myself to make eye contact w/ him and smile, Daddy-God would strengthen and secure me at a depth in my heart that I had never known before.
        This wonder couldn't be avoided. He popped up everywhere and even sat outside my World Civilization class, where the instructor would rip into us as a way to "prepare us for the real world." I had been torn apart so deeply during my growing up years that the instructor's words didn't faze me, but even so, there sat my best friend smiling up at me every time I left the classroom after everyone else had gone. As I ran home, trying not to be so afraid of him, I always felt strangely strong, secure complete...and safe. This feeling of safety, security, completeness and strength grew as our interactions increased, and now my dearest and bestest friend is still the safest person on the planet, even w/ everything that's happened, bc Daddy-God keeps it that way. It's
fur eels!
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Feb. 3, 13
        ...hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5
        Kris spoke on hope from Hebrews 11 this morning.. We who hope will not be disappointed.
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Jan. 30, 13
        Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
        Don't give up. Daddy-God sees all that we've been sowing, and He truly will pour into our laps the harvest of all we've sown!
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Jan. 27, 13
        If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother or sister for whom Christ died. Romans 14:15
        I know that most of us don't deal w/ eating or not eating food that's been sacrificed to idols as this verse is referring to, but I really sense that it's over-all meaning is still very powerful. Maybe it's me, but it seems as tho I see that so many people are so adement about what they like or don't like at the expense of others. It tears my heart to hear them say so strongly how they won't eat/touch this or that and that if it hurts the person who prepared it, that person needs to just not be so sensitive. I don't understand that. Where's the honor or the love in that? It makes me want to cry when I think about how we can focus so much on ourselves at the expense of others (allergies are of course the exception). If a person doesn't like something, s/he can just take a tiny bit of whatever it is s/he doesn't like and put it to the side the plate if s/he absolutely cannot eat it. My Uncle Alan is good at eating things that aren't especially yummy to honor the person who made it. That means I need to eat sandwich loaf to love and honor the person who made it...and pray for help in not grimacing. Lol :') These verses seem to be another angle on
empathy and tact.
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Jan. 22, 13
        As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 1 Peter 4:10
        Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.
       Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
        If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not He who weighs the heart perceive it?
        Does not He who guards your life know it? Will He not repay everyone according to what they have done? Proverbs 3:27 & 24:11-12
        As life happens and I watch some personalities respond one way and other personalities another way, it makes me wonder how things Should be done. What's Kingdom? It also makes me realize how much we need to sharpen our sensitivity to Holy Spirit's nudges and guidance 24/7. Head decisions may not always be Kingdom, and head decisions may lead us to pour into one who we're not to pour into, which then leaves us unable to give to the one who was Put in front of us. This makes us unbalanced, stressed, discouraged, etc. On the holidays that I've spent alone, I had a friend who knew I'd be alone but never invited me to join her family, whom I saw every Sunday, and I've wondered how Kingdom that was to be so alone. (This was before Gayle and Patti and their fam...miss you guys! You all exemplified these verses well!!) Yes, we all need to take care of ourselves and our families and protect our family time, but if we have a family and a friend doesn't, isn't it Kingdom to invite them in? Yes, Daddy-God blesses us for our personal enjoyment, but He also pours His Goodness and Gifts into us for the good of others.(1Peter 4:10) What's the Kingdom solution?
        I guess it's a big deal to me, yes bc it hurts each time I'm left stranded, but also bc Daddy-God uses each instance to show me the value and importance of pouring ourselves out for others (kind of like how He pours Himself out to us every single moment of every day, whether we pour back to Him or not). I know that boundaries must be made, but I've learned that He does honor our hearts' desire to pour out.. When I've needed to make a boundary that would leave someone or a situation in the lurch, I've told Him that I wasn't going to leave the person/situation hanging until He brought a replacement, and He's always honored that. Pouring out to others is rarely easy or convenient or even logical...but surprisingly, He can iron out the logistics if we'll just give of ourselves. If we can learn how to stay in His Stream 24/7, then we'll be able to pour out endlessly to those He gives us bc we're drinking Him in endlessly. Staying in
worship mode 24/7 (as much as I can) for me keeps me in His Presence and drinking Him in, and thus able to pour out to others more than I naturally could bc of my circumstances.
        Holy Spirit Tact is also helpful, healing and strengthening to those who don't have what we have. Then for us, when we do pour out to others whom HE has given us to pour into, He will show us how to have alone-time and family-time if we ask, and He'll make those times extra special. In some situations, He may be asking us to sow into others the very thing we need, and from what I've learned, as we pour into those He puts in our path, we will never lack that which we've poured out. It's Him pouring back into us more! My best friend poured himself out completely into every single situation I saw him in, and it inspired me to have that kind of a Loved-filled heart too. Thank you so much, Gayle, for teaching me about pouring out from your well of Him, and Patti for always welcoming me in to your family, even after Gayle moved.
Posted by Jessica at 10:44 PM.         Post a comment.       1 Like

Jan. 19, 13
        A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, Quiet! Be still! Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith? Mark 4:37-40
        If the Lord is saying in the midst of our storms, Peace! Be still and don't be afraid, as I hear Him saying to me regarding my present squall, we are to trust Him and know that everything will work out right. Watch Me work it out in your favor.
Posted by Jessica at 11:44 PM.        
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Jan. 16, 13
        There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
        Rash and reckless words are exactly like sword thrusts! A friend and I talked about this last night when she brought me home...that this is why we all need to be in community - to encourage and build each other up. She said that when we encourage one another and speak Daddy-God's Words and Life into each other, she saw it pumping us up into being big and muscly. Perhaps this is why the enemy may seem to back down when we're encouraged by others. I know for me, the enemy doesn't even try to bother me when certain people are around bc their words build me up and speak life into my destiny so much that I can feel how undefeatable We (us covered by Him!) are.. Other people's words, however, that are not encouraging or empathetic are like 'sword thrusts' which weaken me against the awaiting onslaught of torments regarding all that the enemy has (temporarily) taken and destroyed in my life. Last night, this friend spoke into me what she saw in my eyes and what I carry, as others had that night, and I felt it literally grow me up in my spirit. Thank you!
Posted by Jessica at 10:57 PM.        
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Jan. 14, 13
        To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 1 Corinthians 9:22
        Last night, a man w/ crutches came up to me and put his arms around me and held onto me. He was the man
Heidi had prayed for before coming over to me two weeks ago. It was uncomfortable bc I knew what he wanted. He seemed desperate to have someone who could identify w/ his frustrations and struggles. Anyone who knows me, knows that my physical stuff is not who I am and that my identity is in being the favorite daughter of the King of the universe! (You're His favorite too!) So I never ever think about what's physically 'wrong' w/ me unless others see me/treat me as lower, psychologically and emotionally off and not fully human. As I put my arms around this man, I felt Daddy-God wanting me to identify w/ him, which was a bit uncomfortable bc of everything that comes w/ that identification. Even now, it seems like He's saying, I know this isn't who you are, but if you're going to love others and be Me to them, you need to be confident and comfortable enough w/ who you are in Me to be able to humble yourself and identify w/ those in need. It feels very similar to being sensitive and empathetic. Posted by Jessica at 11:25 PM.         Post a comment.       1 Comment What you shared on your blog was powerful, Jessica. A deep truth. His Word confirms it. Your testimony continues it. Thanks for sharing...I was deeply blessed.
Love reading your blog Jessica.... You have such a beautiful heart and perspective....
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Jan. 13, 13
        Today is 1/13/13... I don't like 13 bc it feels like such a dark number, but He reminded me that everything that's dark once had a good beginning. When the Hebrew letters of Daddy-God's name are added together, they equal 13! The Hebrew word for love equals 13 too! And Daddy-God is Love!! :')
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Jan. 11, 13
        For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
        The Father's been highlighting all day that He really wants us to focus on being who He created us to be, instead of trying to be someone else. He reminded me of Heidi Baker's story of when she was at a pastors' conference. She had wanted to use long theological words like the other pastors instead of telling her Jesus-stories. In her attempt to go look up long theological words to use in her session, she found herself on the floor w/ one of the pastors standing over her saying, "More Lord!" She was stuck there until her session started and thus had to tell her faith-building amazing Jesus-stories! I haven't wanted to share my God-stories bc they've been mocked and torn apart..."This isn't God", "You don't have a realistic view of reality" (maybe that's bc I'm trying to gain a Kingdom view of Reality, lol), etc. Also, so many seem to not like having to listen to the details. ButI can't leave them out, bc Daddy-God and all that He is are in the details! So after Heidi told her story about sharing her Jesus-stories, I heard Daddy-God say, So, are you going to learn the easy way or the hard way?
        While I was watching The Voyage of the Dawn Treader w/ my mom tonight, Aslan was talking to Lucy and said to her in his gentle way, "You doubt your value. Don't run from who you are." We need to be who we were created to be, which is not like anyone else, and staying in check w/ Holy Spirit and under
covering is a vital part of the process of us becoming who Daddy-God intended us to be.
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Jan. 8, 13
        And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His Purpose. ... being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Romans 8:28 & Philippians 1:6
        For the past few weeks, things have seemed so uncomfortable and wildly out of control as new things have begun to unfold in my life, and I've been trying not to give in to the fear of all of it crumbling apart as so many things have in the past. This afternoon, Daddy-God reminded me of the story of when I had taken French I during my junior year of high school...
        The beginning had definitely been challenging, but it was not nearly as humorous then as it has now become. I remembered climbing the stairs on that first day and coming behind the person who was carrying my bag into a large open classroom. I took a seat towards the back, watching the other students come in, followed by the teacher with a box in her arms. After the bell rang the teacher introduced herself.
        "Hello class! I'm Ms. Bermiester, and this is French I," she smiled as she pulled out her roll sheet. She took roll then passed out the syllabus and went over it. "Now, I may be difficult to get a hold of because I don't have a permanent room yet. Everything I have is in this box." She pulled out a textbook. "Take out your books, and I want you to pair up with someone and read the dialogue. But we'll go through it together first."
        Pulling out my book, I felt badly that this new teacher did not even have a classroom of her own. I looked to see who would dialogue with me, but everyone had already paired up and the guy next to me was staring at his book. Ms. Bermiester came down the row, and I sensed she was nervous.
        "Will you dialogue with her?" She asked the guy.
        "Sure," he grunted but kept his nose in his book the whole time. I often make people uneasy, so I didn't bother him.
        The next day, a girl, whom I recognized from the youth group at Trinity Evee Free, came and sat next to me and dialogued with me when Ms. Bermiester asked her. This isn't too bad. I thought. It was not over, however. The next day, the person who carried my bag for me from second period to third was not there, so a new person came. He went ahead of me with my bag, and when I reached the room, my bag was not there, which meant that I did not have my homework or my book. Ms. Bermiester seemed unsure of what to do, and I felt embarrassed and tongue-tied as I dialogued with Sunny while Ms. Bermiester listened. A feeling of awkwardness continued growing, and I figured that maybe Ms. Bermiester had never been around this stuff before and did not know what to do. When the first quiz day came, I was so nervous that I almost failed it.
        This is not helping, and I know she wonders why I'm in her class... How can I show her it's okay for me to be here?
        I kept doing my homework but sometimes showed up without it when my bag was taken to the wrong room. Then one day Ms. Bermiester ran into me as I was scooting up the stairs on my rear because no one had shown up to help me. She seemed unsure of what to do, so she simply said hello as she passed me. I had my bag this time but not my homework because the electricity had gone out on our street the night before, so I had not been able to type it up. One situation after another arose for about ten weeks, and it felt like a hopeless cycle.
        Ms. Bermiester was eventually given a room of her own, so I brought a textbook to keep in the room. As things settled down into a routine, she could see in my homework and dialoguing with Sunny that I was understanding the material and did not have a problem with learning it.
        "Bon, Sylvie!" she said often and would laugh with us.
        Once I got up the courage, I went to talk to her about my grades. "Is there any extra work I can do to pick up my grades in here?"
        "I can tell you understand it, and your quiz grades are getting better, so you'll be fine."
        "Okay. Thank you." I felt a great sense of relief as I left.
        Hearing Ms. Bermiester's words of affirmation boosted my confidence and my test scores such that I was pleased with my grade at the end of that semester and had A's for the last two quarter grades of the year. When the next fall came around, I saw that I had Ms. Bermiester for French II and breathed a sigh of relief. So being very glad about not having to prove myself to a new teacher and develop a workable routine with her, I went confidently to class the first day.
        "Hi Sylvie!" Ms. Bermiester smiled when she saw me.
        "Hi!" I smiled back.
        "I asked for you, you know! Since I already know you, I didn't want you to have to go through getting used to a new teacher again," she chuckled.
        "She understands! I thought with relief.
        "I asked for Sunny too," she said as students began coming in. I laughed excitedly to myself and was very glad that the stressful beginning was over.
        Things will all be completed and will work together for our good!
Posted by Jessica at 12:33 AM.        
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Jan. 4, 13
        But Jesus was saying, Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing. Luke 22:34a
        Today has been a strong struggle against fear bc I so hate being in trouble, partly bc I can't explain my end of things since my mind goes blank when I'm stressed. I also hate how this tends to make me appear guilty when I may not be. Bearing the consequences for things I didn't do wrong is not my favorite thing either, so my mind works nonstop to figure out how to not repeat whatever it was that I apparently did wrong. As my mind was spinning today to fight off fear and to figure out what to do, I knew I needed Daddy-God's perspective. Then I found myself wondering how I can show grace to others that will "let them off the [needless] hook", so I began looking up verses on showing grace to others when I found this verse on forgiveness...forgiveness is grace in action towards others! So I forgave, and it (plus a friend's prayers and declarations) released me and gave me peace that Daddy-God will fix it bc He is my Defender. :')
Posted by Jessica at 11:55 PM.        
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Dec. 31, 12
        "'And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10
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Dec. 30, 12
        "'Do not be afraid of the king of Babylon, whom you now fear. Do not be afraid of him, declares the Lord, for I am with you and will save you and deliver you from his hands. I will show you compassion so that he will have compassion on you and restore you to your land.'" Jeremiah 42:11 & 12
        The Lord's compassion on us will bring others to have compassion on us as well. ..
        I have a sort of unrelated story tonight. For the past 2 years, I've known that the next time I saw Heidi Baker I was to ask her for her mama mantle (1 Kings 2:13 & 14)...found out 13 hours ago that Heidi was going to be speaking tonight. I couldn't stay for hours after the service ended to see her, so I came super early but couldn't find a way to see her, and by the end of the service it seemed hopeless. The Lord wasn't urging me either like He does when something's important. Then I heard Him say, Pursue it, or don't.
        I'm noooot a pursuer by nature...ugh! Yet I wasn't sure when she would be speaking again, so I decided to go for it. I went into pursuit-w/-intent-to-succeed mode to get thru the people, then He bolstered my boldness, confidence and determination to accomplish my goal. I made it thru a tightly packed crowd in 5 minutes instead of the 1.5 hours that it taken me when I had seen her two years earlier. People pressed in all around me as I waded thru them to find her, and I felt so at home and felt His energy so strongly that I knew I was made for this pouring into people. I didn't stop until I found her and heard, After she prays for this man, get her attention. Her face lit up when she saw me, and she smiled, "Hi Sweetie!" It makes me laugh every time that she remembers me...I told her I want her mama mantle, so she held me, whispering into my ear, "Love on the one in front of you." Then she prayed over me...
Posted by Jessica at 11:58 PM.        
Post a comment.       1 Comment Wow! Incredible testimony. I am so glad you "pursued" :) Such a great testimony of His Presence, His Goodness, His Favor, His extreme loving kindness. Yea! Jessica! Hope you have a very Happy New Year 2013!       2 Likes

Dec. 29, 12
        The Lord will guide you always;
       He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
       and will strengthen your frame.
    You will be like a well-watered garden,
       like a spring whose waters never fail.
    Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
       and will raise up the age-old foundations;
    you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
       Restorer of Streets with Dwellings. Isaiah 58:11 & 12
Posted by Jessica at 2:11 PM.        
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Dec. 28, 12
        "This is what the Lord says: 'You say about this place, "It is a desolate waste, without people or animals." Yet in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are deserted, inhabited by neither people nor animals, there will be heard once more the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom, and the voices of those who bring thank offerings to the house of the Lord, saying,
       "Give thanks to the Lord Almighty,
       for the Lord is good;
       His Love endures forever."
For I will restore the fortunes of the land as they were before,' says the Lord.
"This is what the Lord Almighty says: 'In this place, desolate and without people or animals - in all its towns there will again be pastures for shepherds to rest their flocks.'" Jeremiah 33:10-12
Posted by Jessica at 4:40 PM.        
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Dec. 27, 12
        "This is what the Lord says: 'If I have not made My covenant with day and night and established the laws of heaven and earth, then I will reject the descendants of Jacob and David My servant and will not choose one of his sons to rule over the descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. For I will restore their fortunes and have compassion on them.'" Jeremiah 33:25-26
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Dec. 26, 12
        "Fields will be bought for silver, and deeds will be signed, sealed and witnessed in the territory of Benjamin, in the villages around Jerusalem, in the towns of Judah and in the towns of the hill country, of the western foothills and of the Negev, because I will restore their fortunes, declares the LORD." Jeremiah 32:44
        You will flourish as you once did bc I truly will restore your fortunes.
Posted by Jessica at 3:23 PM.        
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Dec. 25, 12
        'But all who devour you will be devoured; all your enemies will go into exile. Those who plunder you will be plundered; all who make spoil of you I will despoil. But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,' declares the LORD, 'because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.' Jeremiah 30:16 & 17
Posted by Jessica at 11:20 PM.        
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Dec. 24, 12
        I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten - ... You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you. And My people shall never again be put to shame. Joel 2:25 & 26
        I made a covenant on this night fifteen years ago that I would stay faithful no matter what, and Daddy-God Promised to restore...
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Dec. 23, 12
        The LORD will restore the splendor of Jacob like the splendor of Israel, though destroyers have laid them waste and have ruined their vines. Nahum 2:10
        Even tho we have been laid waste and completely destroyed, the Lord will restore our splendor! He will lift up our heads and restore our dignity, our honor and our integrity.
Posted by Jessica at 11:11 PM.        
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Dec. 22, 12
        O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You go before me and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. Psalm 139:1 & 5
        Someone's angel story this morning reminded me of one of mine, so I thot I'd share.. I had been going to a Bible study near my house, that I could drive myself to, as an effort to break the isolation that I couldn't seem to get away from. It probably wasn't the best place to go, being that it's where I met the girl who taught me about witchcraft, and as a whole, they only saw the physical things about me, nothing of who I am. But even so, it was something. So one evening as I was leaving, it was misting and the wife offered me a blanket, but I sensed the light rain would lift before I got home and that my own coat would suffice. I told her I'd be okay w/o it and thanked her, but she insisted as she tucked it around me, not seeing how each tuck buried me deeper in the humiliation of not being seen as an intelligent human being who could sense things and strove to act w/ wisdom in every situation.
        I drove away crying, trying to get my independent nature to submit to authority for once, but as I crossed the intersection, I noticed that it had stopped misting. The blanket was saturated w/ such suffocating humiliation and oppression that I couldn't bear to have it at my house, so I turned around to take it back and felt a thrill of freedom zing thru me. I cautiously approached the bus stop, ready to ward off any not-nice person who might be lurking behind the bushes there, when I saw a dog standing by the bench. I hadn't noticed him there when I had passed by a few minutes earlier. He was a German Shepherd, a pure white German Shepherd, and it melted my heart as I petted him and looked over all of his German Shepherd features. I had grown up w/ a German Shepherd whom I'm not convinced was 100% dog. He always barked when voices were harsh towards me, and he always took hittings w/ me and for me when he could. Later, when I would venture from my room, he always rose to greet me like a gentleman and would nose my hand to see if I was okay. If the coast was clear, I'd sit on the kitchen floor, and he'd let me pull him into my lap to pet him and snuggle him even tho he weighed more than I did.
        The white dog at the bench sniffed me a little and let me pet him, but I had to continue on. I called him to come as I drove on, and he followed behind me. I drove slowly, keeping my eye on him bc I was hoping he'd stay w/ me, then he stepped off the curb and trotted next to me as tho going behind wasn't working to keep me driving at a good pace. He marked his territory at the corner and stayed near me all the way back to the house, where I folded the blanket and left it. I called to him as I started for home again, hoping to bring him home w/ me instead of the blanket, and he followed at a distance, sniffing around. I kept my eye on him, but when I looked back again, there was no dog. He was gone.
        The next day, as I relayed my story, someone told me how their friend had recently gone on a walk, and a pure white German Shepherd had joined him for a bit then had disappeared as well.
        Gentle Protector and Loving Comforter!
Posted by Jessica at 4:25 PM.        
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Dec. 21, 12
        "...it will be said, 'As surely as the LORD lives, who brought the Israelites up out of the land of the north and out of all the countries where He had banished them.' For I will restore them to the land I gave their ancestors. ...I will bring them back and restore them to this place.'" Jeremiah 16:15 & 27:22
        I felt like we will become known for what the Lord does for us when our breakthrus come... bc He WILL do all that He has promised us!
Posted by Jessica at 1:22 PM.        
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Dec. 20, 12
        "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19
Posted by Jessica at 4:44 PM.        
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Dec. 19, 12
        "'The days are coming,' declares the LORD, 'when I will bring my people Israel and Judah back from captivity and restore them to the land I gave their ancestors to possess,' says the LORD." Jeremiah 30:3
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Dec. 18, 12
        The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, .. to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - ...They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. Isaiah 61:1-4
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Dec. 17, 12
        "I will strengthen Judah and save the tribes of Joseph. I will restore them because I have compassion on them. They will be as though I had not rejected them, for I am the LORD their God and I will answer them." Zechariah 10:6
Posted by Jessica at 10:30 PM.        
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Dec. 16, 12
        "Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you." Zechariah 9:12
Posted by Jessica at 11:20 PM.        
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Dec. 15, 12
        "In that day I will restore David's fallen shelter - I will repair its broken walls and restore its ruins - and will rebuild it as it used to be, so that they may possess the remnant of Edom and all the nations that bear My Name," declares the Lord, who will do these things. Amos 9:11 & 12
        Our personal restorations go far beyond being for us/our individual lives...He will be hugely glorified thru each one! :)
Posted by Jessica at 10:44 PM.        
Post a comment.       1 Comment The rest of the chapter is even better:)       1 Like

Dec. 14, 12
        "I will bring you home. I will give you honor and praise among all the peoples of the earth when I restore your fortunes before your very eyes," says the LORD. Zephaniah 3:20
        I will bring you home (to all I've Promised you), lift up your head and restore everything.
Posted by Jessica at 11:14 PM.        
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Dec. 13, 12
        After two days He will revive us; on the third day He will restore us, that we may live in His Presence. Hosea 6:2
        After a short time, He will restore us, that we may live in His Presence.
Posted by Jessica at 10:25 PM.        
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Dec. 12, 12
        [The Lord] says: "It is too small a thing for You to be My Servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make You a light for the Gentiles, that My salvation may reach to the ends of the earth." Isaiah 49:6
        He will not 'merely' restore what's been stolen and destroyed from us, He will also make each of us a light to the nations to bring His salvation to the ends of the earth! :')
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Dec. 11, 12
        "This is what the Lord says - your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb:
I am the Lord, the Maker of all things,
    who stretches out the heavens,
    who spreads out the earth by Myself,...
    who carries out the words of His servants
    and fulfills the predictions of His messengers,
    who says of Jerusalem, 'It shall be inhabited,'
    of the towns of Judah, 'They shall be rebuilt,'
    and of their ruins, 'I will restore them,' " Isaiah 44:24 & 26
Posted by Jessica at 10:04 PM.        
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Dec. 10, 12
        "I will restore your leaders as in days of old, your rulers as at the beginning. Afterward you will be called the City of Righteousness, the Faithful City." Isaiah 1:26
        The summer my dad left the state, I knew for sure that he was done w/ us, so I asked Daddy-God to give me a name that said I was His. W/out hesitating, He gave me a name, which I promptly laughed at and took a more reasonable understanding of, bc the correct understanding was too amazing and intensely good to actually be true. He called me Warrior-C.....-Girl! The name came w/ shoes I never thot I'd be able to fill, yet I have come to understand that this name is a main part of my identity in Him and my destiny.
Posted by Jessica at 11:03 PM.        
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Dec. 9, 12
        How great is the goodness You have stored up for those who fear You. You lavish it on those who come to You for protection, blessing them before the watching world.
        You hide them in the shelter of Your presence, safe from those who conspire against them. You shelter them in Your presence, far from accusing tongues. ...
        So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord! Psalms 31:19-24
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Dec. 8, 12
        Restore our fortunes, Lord, like streams in the Negev.
        Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.
        Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. Psalms 126:4-6
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Dec. 7, 12
        "Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will now restore the fortunes of Jacob and will have compassion on all the people of Israel, and I will be zealous for My holy Name." Ezekiel 39:25
        "Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God Himself will fight for you." Deuteronomy 3:22
Posted by Jessica at 5:08 PM.        
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Dec. 6, 12
        Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion! When the LORD restores His people, let Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad! Psalm 14:7
        The Lord's given me a song we use to sing..it was so full of Him bc of the way the director felt/worshipped Him and also brought us into the Throne Room as we sang it. I feel He's singing it to us now.. All is well, lift up your voice and sing. :)
Posted by Jessica at 5:30 PM.        
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Dec. 5, 12
        This is what the LORD says: "I will restore the fortunes of Jacob's tents and have compassion on his dwellings; the city will be rebuilt on her ruins, and the palace will stand in its proper place." Jeremiah 30:18
Posted by Jessica at 4:55 PM.        
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Dec. 4, 12
        When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.
        Then it was said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them."
        The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Psalm 126:1-3
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Dec. 3, 12
        Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth You will again bring me up. Psalm 71:20
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Dec. 2, 12
        After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. Job 42:10
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Dec. 1, 12
        Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours. Isaiah 61:7
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Nov. 30, 12
        I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you. And My people shall never again be put to shame. Joel 2:25 & 26
        For those who find the holidays to be a difficult time, I sense the theme for the month of December is restoration, restoration of major things and small things. So watch for how things in your life will begin to be restored!
Posted by Jessica at 5:44 PM.        
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Nov. 27, 12
        I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. Isaiah 42:16
        Yesterday, I experienced Daddy-God turning the darkness into light and making the mangled places smooth. The whole day was full of warfare, so intense that I felt strangled by unexplainable fear and other weird things. When I came home, I put worship on in a highly concentrated form, and after dinner I prayed and decreed w/ a friend of mine. After awhile, I felt my head clear, my lungs were released to expand fully, and the strangling thing left. I felt straightened/smoothed out and free and went to bed so full of peace and hope and joy and freedom. Today, I was hit w/ another impossible-looking roadblock, but I'm soaking w/ worship on and am laughing at it while decreeing success! Get into Daddy-God, completely lost in Him however you do that, and He will straighten everything out. He WILL fix your situation! bc He doesn't start something and not finish it!(Philip. 1:6)!
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Nov. 23, 12
        Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart... as to the Lord. Colossians 3:23
        Same verse as the last post I know, but here's another take on it. I went for prayer several weeks ago, feeling as hopeless as I've ever felt, and the guy who prayed for me told me that I was a carrier of hope (how? I had none.) Then he declared that I would have a good week. I still had no life in me, so I asked Daddy-God to help me own the fact that I was going to have a good week bc I've always sensed that we need to own our declarations and believe them from the depths of our hearts. I sense that our declarations lack power when they come from our heads as lip service. As I got ready for work the next morning, I cleansed myself then asked for help to believe and own my declarations. I visualized what I needed to declare, and as I did, He filled me w/ unwavering faith, ownership and authority over each thing I declared.
        I've been making, visualizing and owning my declarations w/ unwavering faith and authority every morning and during the day since then, and I can feel it shifting things around me...and in me. So I release this increasing freedom and breakthru to whoever wants it!
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Nov. 18, 12
        Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart... as to the Lord. Colossians 3:23
        This verse came to mind as I was getting ready for church tonight, and then that's what Danny talked about tonight, keeping our Love on. As I thot about it, I remembered how almost eighteen years ago, my best friend's dad had said at the beginning of the first chapel of the new year that the Lord had told him to open his heart to something... I'm not sure if that was related to me or not, but from that moment on, he began to build a relationship w/ me that was unlike any I had ever known until I met my best friend. It healed my heart, which I had thot was hopelessly ruined, and showed me more of who my Daddy-God is, drawing me into an undying hunger for more/all of Him that this human frame can handle. From personal experience, I've seen how we'll never know the Kingdom ramifications of keeping our Love on and doing everything we do from the depths of our hearts.
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Nov. 15, 12
        One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the king for a friend. Proverbs 22:11
        We draw people to us and make friends w/ those who value what we value. If we like fashion, we'll attract fashionable people for friends. I love nature and animals, and some of my friends love nature too and have the biggest gentlest hearts on the planet! I also love to worship, and I deeply desire to grow, change and have non-Kingdom things ripped out of me...my closest friends have a similar desire to grow and change and are very familiar w/ that tough growing process. Hence, they are also real and can handle real, which may be why they're so encouraging, sharpening, strengthening and empathic. Another part of who I am is that I have loves, and they are very much part of me. Even tho my loves are not right in front of me, I still have the corresponding "hats", and interestingly all of my friends happen to wear those same "hats" too. What are our friends like? The answer may reveal our core values and who we are. We need to be the kind of person we want as a friend.
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Nov. 12, 12
        ...make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Romans 14:19
        When something is bothering us, it's an indicator that we're a part of the solution, not the criticizing or whining parties. So we need to find out what our part is and be supportive, which may just be encouraging those in the situation and pressing in/interceding until the solution comes.
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Nov. 9, 12
        "See, the LORD your God has given you the land. Go up and take possession of it as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, told you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 1:21
        "The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8
        "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
        Feel the Lord saying that He is still in the business of breakthrus and fulfilling His Promises. Soooo, we need be strong and courageous and keep pressing in for our breakthrus!
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Nov. 6, 12
        But the Israelites encouraged one another and again took up their positions where they had stationed themselves the first day. The Israelites went up and wept before the Lord until evening, and they enquired of the Lord. They said, "Shall we go up again to fight against the Benjaminites, our fellow Israelites?"
The Lord answered, Go up against them. Judges 22:22-23
        I heard the Lord saying, Gird yourselves up in Me, strengthen each other, and keep pressing forward. I am bigger than this. :')
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Nov. 3, 12
        Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' Matthew 22:37
        This morning I heard Heart trumps performance, and oh how I know that to be true. At the beginning of this faith journey of mine, I quickly realized that I needed the wisdom of an eighty year old to even remotely walk this road correctly w/ minimal damage to those who are a part of it. Yes, I am a perfectionist and can't stand to get things wrong, a pride issue. (As a side note, my reaction to "being in trouble" is different, a sensitivity thing that's not wrong, and Daddy-God's Gentleness w/ me astounds me every time.) Anyway, in the beginning, I continually told Him that He should choose another woman who had more Love and Grace than I had, until He showed me loud and clear the empty hole that my leaving would create. The visions and responsibility He's shown me regarding my promise are so far beyond me that it has brought me to His feet, opening and yielding my entire being, mind, heart, spirit, soul, and molecule of my being, all that I am to Him. Thru these visions and His Word, He has shown me the stand I am to take and how I am to see it and each person involved, to see as He sees. I have made mistakes throughout this learning process, yet He has been more grieved over my lack of faith and my fear than the mistakes I've made. Over and over again, He's said,
        It's been forgiven. It's over, and I'll fix it. You stop fearing and doubting... Believe, trust Me and take the stand for your promise that I've told you to take. You don't have to do it perfectly, just have your heart right before Me.
        While His focus is on the state of our hearts, it is not a license to carelessly go thru life and not take our words and actions seriously bc, "by grace, He'll forgive and fix everything." This is about aligning all of who we are w/ Him and checking in throughout each day to make sure that our hearts are entirely yielded to Him and that the proverbial dove hasn't flown off our shoulders. When we are entirely yielding and growing in His likeness, we'll make fewer of those mistakes bc our spirits will be more sensitive to the heart and will of Daddy-God. He cares more about our hearts being fully yielded to Him than doing things perfectly. He would rather have us step out in yieldedness and faith and make a mistake bc we misunderstood Him, than have us resist Him, not yield, obey or trust Him. Nevertheless, when a mistake is made, we need to not overcorrect but simply be humble, yielded and let Daddy-God fix it. Doing this does wonders at keeping us from being judgmental and wrongly opinionated towards others, ie, I am perfect, and you are not. Hmmmmmm.. He's brilliant! Lol.
        Heart also trumps performance regarding the classic "putting on a good show" or facade. If we put on a good show, our hearts need to match it...every word and action needs to be genuine, not just Christ-like in appearance. Those who are discerning see straight thru facades, and it can pull them down when we had wanted to build them up. Just heard, A rightly aligned heart brings life.
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Nov. 2, 12
        Had two dreams this morning. In the first dream, I was looking down a street at a neighborhood of two-story houses close together, like in a gated community, and it had a street down the middle. It was dark like night, and one of the neighbors was furious w/ the friend I knew who lived in the house we were looking down on. He had put bombs in the friends house and was telling me how he hated him and was going to destroy him. He was mocking and taunting, "See, watch!" as the bombs exploded inside the house. Then suddenly, he looked at his watch and put his hands to his head, crying out, "Noooooo!" As the bombs were exploding, his son was being dropped off from school in front of that neighbor's house, so the explosions had killed his son. I felt like the Lord was saying that whatever the enemy destroys in our lives is so easily fixable, easy like replacing furniture, but it will end up backfiring on the enemy and taking out what he produces/his offspring/plans against us.
        In the second dream, a big group of us were waiting outside a building bc we had been told to wait there. After awhile, everyone started heading into one of the buildings to the left bc someone thot they were suppose to go over there, since no one had showed up to give further instruction. A woman started pushing my wheelchair and going w/ the crowd, but I wanted to stay bc leaving didn't feel right. I asked her to stop bc I wanted to investigate to find out if the change was really what we were suppose to be doing, but she refused to listen to me. So I put my feet down on the concrete to make my wheelchair stop, which exasperated her even more, so she let my wheelchair go and left me there. Felt the Lord was saying not to mindlessly, or mindfully, follow the crowd but to keep doing what we last heard.
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Oct. 31, 12
        As it is written, I have made you the father of many nations. He was appointed our father in the sight of God in Whom he believed, Who gives life to the dead and speaks of the nonexistent things that He has foretold and promised as if they already existed. Romans 4:17
        This verse popped into my head this morning, and I felt it was very timely in light of the upcoming elections then a text from my long-time friend from college confirmed it. When Daddy-God shows us things, it's a strong indication that we're a part of the solution, whether it's an active part or indirectly thru our declarations. It beckons us to grow deeper into Him, so that we will know His heart, esp. His heart regarding the situation, and can therefore know how to act/speak in perfect step w/ Him as tho He is filling/wearing us like a glove...He moves/speaks, so we move/speak.
        It also reminded me how important it is to speak, see and think about things according to what Daddy-God shows us, regardless of how things appear in the natural. When we as human restore or redo things, we can only restore, redo or redeem things/circumstances back so far, but Daddy-God can restore, redeem, and redo things/circumstances back all the way back to the beginning as tho it
never happened. From what I've learned so far, He wants a partnership w/ us, so our faith and yielded obedience often is what releases Him to act. He can fix anything, and I sensed it's a good time to be declaring and believing that!
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Oct. 29, 12
        Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distress. Psalm 107:28
        I've been trying to yield and not despair or become angry, bitter, resentful, etc. bc it's so unendingly hard. Last Sunday morning I got a word at church about being one who wipes out/demolishes fear, and yesterday I got a word about carrying/bringing hope to people and shifting their atmospheres. However, yesterday morning, I felt deader than dead, so I asked for help to even want to yield and care and try until He came and brought hope... This morning I continued asking for help and for the will to shift the atmosphere. All morning, I've been warding things off and trying to obediently declare things into the atmosphere to shift it and bring His Kingdom, then the anointing came to pray over property connected w/ my breakthru. That was a first (weird), so I pressed in for it to be restored to it's destiny as well as for all of us to be restored to our destinies and to have daily encounters w/ Daddy-God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, angels, etc. As the anointing lifted, a friend's Facebook friend-invite came in! Her passion for Daddy-God encourages me so much, and her 5 yr old has begun having angelic encounters several times a week! Then when the mail came, I found out that I'm getting payback for some expenses that I had given notice for, and the payback is going further back than my noticed had stated! Thank You Daddy!!
        So, I release payback in full and encounters of the Third Heaven kind in Jesus' Name!
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Oct. 28, 12
        When I called out to You, you answered me. You made me strong and brave. Psalms 138:3
        I love how Daddy-God speaks everywhere! Pain from missing my treasures is what I battle w/ most often, so when ripping pain comes in like a flood, I've gotten my instant reaction to be, "Daddy!" until the pain becomes manageable. Then I shut the enemy up and worship. I love how He comes and strengthens me and builds me up. The other day, something was said that triggered the pain of having my treasures taken from me, so I cried out and then willed myself to laugh at the enemy's tauntings. As I turned my head, I looked out the window in time to see a Covenant Transport truck drive by. The reminder of what Daddy-God IS doing lifted me up and made me laugh w/ even more confidence, strength and authority in spite of the pain. He WILL fulfill His Promises, every single one, bc He IS a covenant-keeping God! Joy and confidence in Him became my strength and a handy-dandy weapon too...woohoo!! Pastor Bill talked about the joy of the Lord being our strength (Nehemiah 8:10) this morning. :')
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Oct. 25, 12
        Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.'" 1 Kings 17:13 7 14
        Sometimes obedience is for obedience's sake, sometimes it's an act of faith, and sometimes it's prophetic or for reasons we'll understand in the years to come. This was on my heart today as I thot about the future affects from not yielding to the stretching of what Daddy-God is asking of me now... One time Shara, Heidi's assistant, invited me to a weekend women's conference that she and a few other women our age were holding. It was an honor to eat, breathe, and share the loft in the pastor's home w/ these powerful women. Yet the weekend was rough as I struggled to understand and accept losing the last desire of my heart, for the circumstance was quite fresh. As I sobbed on the floor, one of the leaders came over to me w/ a word that if I did not embrace my own specific treasure who was coming in a way I didn't choose, the Lord would not open up the doors of ministry for me to embrace, love on and raise up other treasures... I knew that I needed His supernatural grace to do this bc the pain went so deep from the loss and injustice of how things were being played out.
        I wanted to shut down and forget everything bc the ripping pain of the loss was so overwhelming and the situation so unbearably hopeless. I felt nothing but pain, yet over time, Daddy-God brought to the surface my natural (had circumstances been perhaps as He intended) bond of love for my treasure even tho I was now unable to pour it out on him, a love that some would say is not possible bc of the way things had happened. Nevertheless, Daddy-God increased and deepened my love for this one, not allowing me to shut down or give up, w/ the promise that everything will be restored, made right, and the pain erased.. Every single day, He still continues to prepare and teach me how to embrace, pour into, and love him, so that when everything is restored I will be ready to embrace and love him in the way that he needs it. I live each day ready to embrace him. This may sound rosy and sweet, but when you choose to allow yourself to love instead of shutting down and you can't be w/ those you love, the ache for them and the pain from the separation are always there. Some days it's unbearable, but I'm trying to learn to authentically live in His Joy in spite of it.
        Many have said that this isn't the Lord bc He wants us to be happy, which He does, but at the expense of Loving? There are two sides of
Love... It is true that if I put it all out of my mind, let it all go, shut down, etc. and wait to love my treasure until everything's restored, my pain would be a lot less. But what if Daddy-God's deepening and growing my love for him bc when everything's restored he's going to need to feel the warmth and familiarity of a well-worn Love for him? Shutting down might make this waiting time easier on me, but the lack of warmth and familiarity from me could hurt him, esp. if Daddy-God's working a bond w/ me in his little heart. Also, Daddy-God doesn't turn off His Love for those who aren't w/ Him until they're restored to Him...He loves them and hurts for them until everything is made right. A mama's body undergoes tremendous changes for her baby's growth in utero and also to enable her to provide vital nutrients for the baby as soon as it's born. Waiting until after the baby's born to begin to produce milk would be detrimental to the baby. Preparations are stretching, but they have a purpose, often a future purpose... something Heidi talked about years ago. Maybe He wants my love for this one to be developed and ripe enough to serve His purpose, be healing, and enable me to hit the ground running as soon as it all comes together.
        Daddy-God may also be asking me to love out of my lack, like the widow, in order to create a well of Love in me that will never run dry, a well of Love that will always be deep and full bc I've learned how to tap into the right Source and am able to love and pour out no matter what the circumstances are. By preparing and allowing Daddy-God to grow and deepen my love for my treasure now, it may not be awkward when it's time to put it to use. Preparations are often tough, but they strengthen our faith, taking it to the next level, so that we're ready for the next thing... W/ the widow, since the Lord had provided her and her son w/ food so they wouldn't die, she then had the faith to believe He could bring her son back from the dead. He always has a reason for what He asks of us.
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Oct. 22, 12
        Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your Presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast. Psalms 139:7-10
        After the service tonight, a woman and I were marveling over how incredibly amazing God is and how He can be seen everywhere! Then this thot came, the more we know Him and think on Him, the more we see Him everywhere and in everything. Even in the darkest places, His Light still shines. Seeing Him everywhere and in everything is an act of worship.
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Oct. 20, 12
        Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
        A dear friend from college called me on my birthday, as she does so faithfully every year. We've been corresponding back and forth these past few weeks, and this morning she reminded me of the importance of being real. Daddy-God uses us in each others' lives to encourage, strengthen and build each other up, but in order to truly do this we must be real w/ ourselves and w/ Him. When we stuff our struggles and hurts and slap a happy-I'm-fine! smile on our face, that's called wearing an opaque mask. Light cannot shine thru an opaque mask. I remember hitting bottom in college as I was working thru all that had happened to me during my childhood, and Daddy-God kept after me to feel it all and to ride the wave of pain, sorrow, violation, etc. out all the way so I wouldn't have to re-visit each issue - that's different from sulking/wallowing. Most of my college years seemed to be me riding out wave after wave after wave of pain, sorrow, violation, etc., but the weird part was that on my lowest days, people would thank me for being an encouragement and for shining His joy! All I can conclude from that is that when we're real and keep our focus on Him, we become transparent such that the Lord can shine thru us and lift others up no matter what we're going thru.
        Another aspect about being real is that when we acknowledge and work thru our own issues, we can be more empathetic w/ others as we are suppose to be (Romans 12:15), instead of telling them to get over it, let it go, or pray and it will go away. In being real w/ ourselves and the Lord, we can usually find a way to make a heart connection w/ the one in front of us who's sharing their heart w/ us. When we can connect w/ that one, it is strengthening and encouraging for them, and thru Him it will also renew their hope and faith for their situation. That is what Love looks like. Thanks for that reminder and encouragement, girlfriend! :')
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Oct. 19, 12

Psalm 63

A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

1 You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek You;
  I thirst for You,
    my whole being longs for You,
  in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.
2 I have seen You in the sanctuary
    and beheld Your power and Your glory.
3 Because Your Love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify You.
4 I will praise You as long as I live,
    and in Your Name I will lift up my hands.
5 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise You.
6 On my bed I remember You;
    I think of You through the watches of the night.
7 Because You are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of Your wings.
8 I cling to You;
    Your right hand upholds me.
9 Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
    they will go down to the depths of the earth.
10 They will be given over to the sword
    and become food for jackals.
11 But the king will rejoice in God;
    all who swear by God will glory in Him,
    while the mouths of liars will be silenced.
        I'm not quite sure if I've been picking things up in the atmosphere beyond my house or if my body's just done w/ the waiting for breakthru and for things to be even better than they
were. Whatever it is, I'm ready for it to be over! The past few days my uncontrollable movements have been so bad that I can hardly type, so yesterday I put worship on and enjoyed a good soak while I sat there twitching. Lol.. I got up this morning feeling nauseous from even less sleep than usual bc my muscles have been tighter and moving even more nonstop (my stuff doesn't get worse over time, just whines louder over undesirable circumstances/atmospheres). I thot about sitting on the couch and soaking again once the morning chores were done, and it made me excited bc even tho I can't do most of what I use to be able to do, I can still do my favorite thing in the world, worship Him and enjoy His Presence! That was a fun realization!!
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Oct. 16, 12
        And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
        I think a lot, tho not obsessively. Whenever I've considered floating thru life and perhaps having my thots and focus on more typical things, I've felt a deep restlessness in my spirit and a fire under me. Whether these things are directly Holy Spirit or just my aversion to repeating undesirable patterns, I don't know. I do know, however, that I never want to do to others what's been done to me. Maybe things hurt more deeply and intensely bc I've asked to feel the
Father's heart, who knows.. Regardless, I want Holy Spirit to prick my spirit w/ every little part of me that's not like Him, so that I can change it. When hard things happen, I work thru each one w/ Him until I fully understand why each one hurt, violated or degraded me so deeply, then I think about how I can bring about the opposite affect w/ others. Being laughed at for one's foibles or weaknesses, to one's face or behind one's back, is so humiliating and degrading... how can I honor someone and lift up their head and restore their dignity when their foibles or weaknesses are shining brightly? I know for myself, I must first accept that this or that was real and hurtful, humiliating, etc. to me before I can pour my heart into doing the opposite w/ others.
        God works all things together for our good... While this verse is talking about how Daddy-God fixes circumstances for our good, I saw "the good" also referring to us allowing Him to turn the bad patterns done to us into His patterns of Love, Forgiveness, Mercy, Gentleness, etc. Every hard thing that happens to us is an opportunity to end a wrong cycle and introduce a Kingdom cycle...living out Kingdom Reality, that is another "good".
Posted by Jessica at 6:21 PM.         Post a comment.       1 Comment Really needed to hear that and be reminded..thanks!       2 Likes

Oct. 15, 12
        Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
        The Bethel volleyball team played one of their last games of the season today and both teams won! Every game I've seen my niece play in makes me tear up bc all of the team members encourage each other, whether they score a point or give one to the opposing team...soooo like our Daddy! My sister-in-law and I were discussing how after each play, the team congratulates the person who scored the point then goes back into position for the next play. Or they encourage and praise the person for their effort if they missed it. I've not seen such team spirit or encouragement and support among the players of any other team we've played. Our girls are a powerful example of how we need to encourage, support and build each other up when we do well and also when we miss the mark...go warriors!
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Oct. 12, 12
        "...who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14
        Every single one of us plays a vital role in the Kingdom, and I suppose only Daddy-God could orchestrate that! We may never know how huge the small things we do/say are. At the beginning of my journey, before I fully understood the covenant I had made to stay faithful no matter what, I doubted my ability to hear Holy Spirit and to understand what He was asking of me. So every few years I would lay out my fleece. The first time I laid out my fleece, I asked for the most impossible thing I could think of, that the Lord would give me favor, love, and acceptance from a handful of people who should have pulled away from me. Sure enough, those specific people continued to have a relationship w/ me, esp. the worship leader. Every Sunday, as tho Daddy-God had told her to, the worship leader would make a beeline for me, hug me warmly, then run off to find her little ones...we were not hang-out friends, not even chit-chat friends. Did she know how significant her hugs were in keeping me on track?
        Love looks like something. Sometimes I think we may by-pass those little instances to do what Holy Spirit is whispering for us to do bc they seem to be too insignificant to be important. A person may seem to be loved by everyone, why do I need to say or do this or that? Well, maybe that person's a giver who enjoys a present here and there or words of affirmation, and he/she gives out what others need and enjoy but isn't loved back in his/her language. So maybe Daddy-God put me in his/her path to love on him/her in his/her language.
        I am an extrovert...I love people and loving on them endlessly as long as I feel safe, and I grew up around need-to-be-alone people. They're great peeps! but it's hard to always feel like you need to go away. During the years that I went to my prayer spot to draw, I met the neighbors and became friends w/ many of them. It was nice and healing to hang out and talk w/ them a bit, knowing they felt free to walk on when they wanted to.. but there were two who were especially healing. One was the woman w/ the great dane in the
provision story, and the other happened to be her good neighbor-friend who lived down the opposite end of the street I drew, prayed and danced on. Sometimes Holy Spirit would nudge me to go say hi to the first one, and I hated it bc I didn't want to bother her. Yet she always took me in and we'd talk for hours about God-things and how amazing He is, and if she had errands to do, she'd invite me to come along. I could never feel the slightest dread or go-away feelings in her, which was so healing. Some days her eyes were red from many tears, but she invited me in anyway and found a way to laugh at things about the horrible circumstance she was in. She taught me so much about how to Love on the one in front of me and how to not see it as an inconvenience.
        Her friend lived at the other end and had to drive by my spot on her home from work. It always amazed me that even after a long day at work w/ a house full of animals waiting to be fed, she'd stop and invite me to come for tea. I wonder if either of them will ever know how deeply their words and actions have impacted my life and healed me... Now that I'm in Redding, I have a similar invite. As I've been thinking about this, I've wondered if Loving on the one in front of us is ever convenient bc I so don't like being an inconvenience, and I just heard,
        It's all in how you look at it. Maybe I put you in this position for such a time as this to be My Love and Healing...
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Oct. 9, 12
        For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through Him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 1:20
        If Daddy-God says He'll do something, He will do it. A word I was given tonight, su media naranja...
Posted by Jessica at 10:50 PM.        
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Oct. 7, 12
        I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all His people, Psalm 116:18
        A friend and I were talking on the way to a retreat we were going to about some covenants we had made, and I was telling her about these Covenant Transport trucks that Daddy-God has used to encourage people who are standing for their marriage. As I turned to look out the window, our bus was passing a long white diesel truck so closely that I could only see the top half of the letters "Covenant Transport." It was so close that if the window had been open, I could have kissed it.
Posted by Jessica at 11:03 PM.        
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Oct. 1, 12
        Whoever does not Love does not know God, because God is Love. 1 John 4:8
        It's been almost eighteen years since my journey of healing began. It started bc I wanted to get over a bizarre fear.. I thot that how I grew up was normal, yet I couldn't understand why our choir director terrified me, as did his son, my best friend. In choir, the director was always gentle and seemed to know the space I needed, the encouragement I needed, and how to connect w/ my heart while still giving me space. Yet I was so afraid that my knees shook until I learned to trust him. The first time Daddy-God had me talk to him, I was to share w/ him a little about how a certain group of peers at home laughed at me. As I told him, his eyes welled up w/ tears, and I stared at him speechless, amazed and softened. Compared to the other things I had been thru, being laughed at was hardly a scratch, but it still made him tear up. I had never before had someone feel w/ me and not play the devil's advocate..."Oh, I'm sure they didn't mean... They love you!" I know people have always meant well, but their words have been like vaseline on a fresh burn, which covers the wound, keeping the heat in and thus deepening the wound. His empathy validated me and who I was, strengthened me, built me up, and completely awed me so much that I told Daddy-God that I wanted to feel His heart like that as much as my human frame could handle.
       
So Daddy-God began to put in me the longings and yearnings of His heart for specific individuals, and He showed me how to channel all that I felt into prayers for them. Then He also put my best friend's heart inside of me so that I could feel the depths of Daddy-God's incredible Love for him, and thus be able to pour prayers forth for him according to what was going on. In praying for him, I began to see how Daddy-God was showing me the two sides of Love: sorrow/pain and joy/fullness. As the pain and the sorrow intensified and deepened, my heart grew stronger and deeper as I cried out in prayer for him. One time, when I shared a little, no details, w/ my dear little sister, she told me what she saw Daddy-God doing, which strengthened and refreshed me more than she'll ever know. She said,
        "God is deepening and intensifying your pain in order to increase your capacity for joy."
        This might not sound encouraging, but it was bc it was straight Holy Spirit. Since I had asked to feel w/ Him what He feels, Daddy-God was showing me pain and sorrow first, possibly to teach me how to feel it and work thru it in a healthy way that would deepened and enlarge the well of my heart before showing me the joy. It's kind of like w/ babies when they are introduced to solid foods, some mothers introduce their babies to non-sweet foods first, in order to help them to develop healthy appetites for wholesome foods. Introducing them to sweeter things first often starts them off w/ only having appetites for sweets and sugars. He wanted to teach me to dive into the reality of each pain/sorrow and heal, instead of skimming over it all and being fake bc the joy is more fun. Some people don't want to empathize bc joy is more fun, but we are to be empathetic, weep w/ those weep as well as rejoice w/ those who rejoice.(Romans 12:15)
        A friend told me once that while Daddy-God doesn't cause hard things to happen, He uses them to strengthen us so that we can handle and enjoy! all of the amazing blessings He has in store for us w/out being crushed by them. Soooo, the harder it is, you know the good stuff has to be out of this world!! ;') When my restoration comes, I'll have to be scraped off the ceiling! Lol.
Posted by Jessica at 11:37 PM.        
Post a comment.        1 Comment Great blogs Jessica!        4 Likes

Sept. 28, 12
        Blessed are those who have learned to shout praise to You, who walk in the light of Your Presence, Lord. Psalms 89:15
        I miss the whole music world so much. Maybe that's why worship does so much for me. The Lord's Presence fixes everything. Everything! As I'm writing this, I heard voices saying things like, "His Presence can't feed my children, pay my bills, or fix my car." From the time I left home until now, no one in my household has gone w/out food, clothes, or money to pay the rent and bills. Daddy-God also just reminded me of Heidi/Rolland Baker and their 10,000 children, and how they always have what they need bc He told her that if she took them in, He'd feed them. He does. Everyday. She lives in His Presence, worshipping on the floor w/ earphones every moment she can. I can attest to that provision on a small scale...and the peace from living in His Presence thru worship.
        This morning while I was juicing, I was getting hit w/ how horrible I was for doing this certain thing. I knew it was mostly condemnation from the enemy, but I wanted to make sure that Daddy-God wasn't trying to gently correct me somewhere w/in the onslaught. So I started praising Jesus to clear the air. His peace came immediately as did a notable silence. The immediate evaporation of the stupid noise and clatter made me chuckle as I asked Daddy-God if what I had done was wrong and if I needed to make amends or change what I was doing. He told me to think about it logically, then He let me see it from another person's perspective and said it's fine and not a big deal. Worship is a check for so many things for me, definitely a cure-all...hmmmmm, honey's a cure-all too. Interesting :') Find whatever Holy Spirit is on for the moment for you, and enjoy a good soak for as long as you can.. Ahhhhhhh, to me, music is such a beautiful thing! I also love how Daddy-God focuses on showing me what I should/could do differently in the future and doesn't even seem to remember my mess-up. I stand in awe of His Love and Gentleness every time.
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Sept. 27, 12
        For seven days celebrate the festival to the LORD your God at the place the LORD will choose. For the LORD your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your joy will be complete. Deuteronomy 16:15
        Are we having fun yet? When I was growing up, this was always asked in mockery by my dad as he laughed about being able to make me go and do something I didn't want to do...it thus had oppressive associations w/ it. As for what I wanted, what I did want didn't matter, and I was left home when it was easier for people to go w/out me. It amazes me that the Lord even redeems words, like in the
restoration story as well as situations. This is a story of the first time I remember being asked if I had had fun, genuine child-like fun. Maybe it came to mind bc I feel like Daddy-God is excited and is asking genuinely if we are having fun w/ the new things He's doing.
        Once when I was left behind, I recalled this story to keep my spirits up... Midway through the fall semester of my junior year, my deareest boy's dad had presented the idea of our choir singing in the Candlelight Christmas performance at Disneyland. We had liked the idea, so for the rest of the semester we worked on the pieces we would be singing there. We were excited, and I really wanted to go. Yet being in this choir and singing softly was very different from singing in a performance, and I did not want his dad to think I could not see or think realistically. He had told me that I had perfect pitch, probably bc he somehow saw my musical ability apart from the external imperfections. Even so, I knew I should not go. I needed to be realistic about it, which I told one of my friends when he asked me if I was going. Nevertheless, he wanted me to go anyway and insisted I should ask, so I agreed.. He did not make this easy.
        "Jess has a question to ask you," he started.
        "Yes, Jessica. What can I do for you?" The director asked me.
        I pulled together every ounce of confidence I had, which was not much. "Can I go with you guys to the performance, if it works?"
        "Well, do you want to go?"
        "If it works out easily," I answered hesitantly. I knew I must never ever mention anything I wanted. I should not even have any wants for that matter, esp. if my wants inconvenienced others. I froze and could not say anything else. Being selfish and inconsiderate of others has always been the worst and most horrible thing to me. If I did want something and it required anything additional for those around me, then it was horribly selfish for me to want it...or so I had been told.
        "You didn't answer my question. I said, 'do you want to go with us?'" He repeated.
        I stood in front of him frozen. I could not be so selfish and say what I wanted.
        He waited.
        "Yes, sir. I would like to go," I finally blurted out. Well, now he knows. How selfish and horrible could I be?
        "Okay. You guys will find out where to go once you get there. Take your wheelchair. It'll be easier for you." He smiled at me and winked.
        "Thank you." I turned to follow my friend out the door.
        "See, I told you he'd let you go!" he said as we found my roommate and started walking home.
        I smiled to myself as I waited for those who had left to return with the Christmas tree. Then I remembered the Saturday afternoon of the performance when my friends and I went together to the choir room where others were gathering. When everyone had arrived, we carpooled to Disneyland and followed the signs to a huge room crowded with people who were looking for the sections where they were to stand. I was nervous and looked around for our director. He was letting me go, so I did not want him to know that I was there and have it be an extra thing for him to have to think about. I was hoping he would forget about me being there. Once I caught a glimpse of him, I ducked behind a few taller people near me to keep him from spotting me.
        "Hi Jessica! You guys made it," said a voice belonging to a tall figure in a dark suit standing next to me. It startled me since I had just seen him a second earlier in the crowd that was in front of me.
        "Yes." Oh no, he found me. But why was I surprised...I was never invisible to him. All he had to do was look over people's heads to find me, which he had done several times.
        "I'll take you to where you guys need to go, then I'm leaving to go hear my son play in his band." He took my right arm and walked with us to our row and stood next to me for a few minutes to make sure everyone in our group had found their places. I always held my right arm and hand close to myself bc its unpredictableness makes people nervous, so when he let go, I pulled my arm back to myself. He noticed and reached out as if to say, Don't pull that away from me! He held my twitching hand affectionately and looked into my eyes and smiled, "I'll see you next week."
        "Thank you. See you." I smiled and watched him go. I wished he and his wife could have stayed, but I was glad they were going to listen to their son play in his band.
        Once everyone had found their places, we proceeded onto the risers, and I sat next to friends in my wheelchair. We sang the entire evening, and then my friends and I went out afterwards with a few others. They took turns pushing me while those who were not pushing me danced in front of us or joined hands to clear a path in the crowd of people around us. We went on more rides than we could count since we were able to go to the front of the lines, which is why my friends were so excited that I had brought my wheelchair. I felt like a little kid, free to enjoy myself, free to have fun with my friends, and free to laugh with them until it hurt. It was a fun-filled night.
        When choir practice came again on Wednesday night, the director asked me if I had enjoyed myself, and it startled me. I was surprised that he considered having a good time to be a part of the experience. It had definitely been a very fun experience, and the memory of it made me smile, lifting up my head in spite of the fact that I had once again been left behind.
        Are we having fun w/ the new things Daddy-God is beginning to do? Having fun is a good thing...it's part of being child-like!
Posted by Jessica at 6:26 PM.         Post a comment.        1 Comment I love that story!        1 Like

Sept. 24, 12
        Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galations 5:25
        I haven't really noticed distinct seasonal shifts in my life until last night. I love the focus on relationship here, that going after Daddy-God isn't a formula w/ a list of dos and don'ts...it's a relationship where what we do is done out of our love for Him, not bc it's a rule. I've been familiar w/ walking by the Spirit day by day, going here or there to encourage or help someone, but my seasons have seemed to blend into each other as one long hard season where I'm continually learning new things and growing. Last night, however, I felt a shift in my spirit to rise up above some circumstances that the Lord had been asking me to put my energies into. So I'm declaring seasonal shifting and release into a new place and realm of authority in Him. The freedom and release is fun!
Posted by Jessica at 3:02 PM.        
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Sept. 23, 12
        You make known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your Presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand. Psalm 16:11
        While Brian was talking tonight, he talked about checking your dreams while you worship.. It reminded me how the Lord showed me that worship can be used as another
check for what He shows us. He has shown me so many out-of-this-world things that I've thot I must be as mentally, emotionally and spiritually off my rocker as some have expressed. Yet every time I worship, the dreams and visions that I thot were my silly fantasies flood my mind and sweep me away... Early on, I thot I ought to do some praising and not be lost in all these dreams the whole time until I heard Him say,
        When you are completely lost in worship, you are one hundred percent focused on Me. Since, you're not thinking of anything outside of Me, if a thot or dream comes into your mind, you can know w/ confidence that's it's from Me. As you remain lost in Me, dream it out as far as you can!
        So, worship is one of my checks. Sometimes I seem to dream so much during my times in corporate worship that I raise an eyebrow to see if He really wants me to dream so intently, and He does! Lol. Then there are times where I get to sink myself into adoring Him, and I wonder if He's humoring me... but He says He knows my heart. - Ha! He just reminded me that I (and you!) can have lap-time whenever I/we want it, so when the dreams and visions come, dream away w/ Him. :')
Posted by Jessica at 11:31 PM.         Post a comment.        1 Comment SO encouraged me.        1 Like

Sept. 22, 12
        Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8
        I love how worship makes this automatic for me. Sometimes my mind is swept away by hurtful comments or situations, so I want to bring Him into the processing before anger or bitterness set in. It bothers me that the pain clouds my ability to see the above in the person or the situation, but I'm in process as we all are. We wonder how Daddy-God sees good in us... Like Him, we typically see around us and in others what we think and dwell on. He dwells on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, all that is excellent and all that is worthy of praise. So these things are what He sees and notices in us. As we ask for forgiveness that washes us clean, we can stand before Him in the righteousness of Christ. Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8), so as He looks on us, He sees us in light of our potential, the righteousness of Christ. If we are hurt or hurt others, He weeps for us/those affected by it, but He still sees our good/potential bc that is what He dwells on and lives in. What we think about we will see around us, positive or negative. Maybe that's why the pure in heart will see God...and the good in everything (Matthew 5:8).
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Sept. 20, 12
        Lord, I cry out to You. I say, "You are my place of safety. You are everything I need in this life." Psalms 142:5
        Today was a long day... day 4,8-- of I'm-at-the-end-of-my-rope long days. I'm exhausted to the point of nausea from not sleeping bc my muscles don't have what they need to relax, have little appetite for numerous reasons, miss beyond comprehension the parts of me that few know about, tired of the non-encouraging/rude comments that aren't suppose to hurt, heart and brain miss the people connections and seemingly two-way unpliffting relationships w/ those who appeared to actually enjoy my personality (which made my muscles relax, line up and function better than now), miss my independence that I knowingly gave up to move up here, and just tired from this long heart and gut wrenching journey. On top of that, the only friend I have had to pray w/ is done and has given up (praying w/ someone until there is breakthru is different than knowing people shoot a prayer up for you if they think about it).
        So this afternoon, I put on some worship music to zone out to, and instead of zoning out, my spirit soared bc this is what I was made for. We were created to worship the King! This is why life is worth living...to worship Him! And it's our choice to worship Him, whether we have the energy to burst it forth or just enough to let it wash over us while we zone out, that captures His heart.
Posted by Jessica at 8:55 PM.        
Post a comment.        1 Comment He is everything we need :)       1 Like

Sept. 16, 12
        There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear... 1 John 4:18
        There are over one hundred verses in the Bible on "do not fear." I find this intriguing bc Daddy-God has said in His Word and probably to each of us personally that when He says something more than once, it's very important to Him or that He's determined it to take place/be fulfilled. This indicates that He wants us not to fear, be anxious, or any other fear-based feelings like caution, apprehension, concern, worry, anxiety ever ever ever about anything. Nothing should disturb our peace...His Peace can accompany sadness, sorrow, discouragement, pain, etc. But His Peace never accompanies fear or fear-based emotions. I suppose His insistance that we never fear intrigues me bc as I listen and share w/ people, I hear that being afraid is okay and logical but that feeling hurt, sad, discouraged, etc. is not okay. Polar opposite from His heart! On Friday night, Donna DeSilva talked about praying from them seat of love, not from the seat of fear or selfish ambition. I'm hearing Daddy-God say even now,
        Do not fear. It's an indication that you don't trust Me. But if you're tired, discouraged, sad, in pain, pour it out to Me w/out self-pity or wallowing. I can take it. I felt Him wink as He said that. I am your Comforter, your Stability, your Peace, whatever you need. So cry out all you want to Me, even express your anger, but do not fear.
Posted by Jessica at 1:34 PM.        
Post a comment.        1 Comment That was a GOOD word, Jessica!        2 Likes

Sept. 12, 12
        casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
        Our hearts and the condition of our hearts is a big deal to Daddy-God. The interesting thing tho is that lately I've been hearing such the opposite from people..."advocate for yourself," "stand up for yourself,"(bc no one else will?), "self-control is choosing not to be hurt by others," (make your heart unfeeling as stone? Self-control is controlling our own attitudes, words and behaviors, not our pain levels.) mow people over to make life good for yourself...? It's frustrating to tears bc all I hear from Daddy-God is,
        Feel, feel, feel, Jessica. Feel so that you know My heart and can empathize w/ others as I do. Don't teach or try to fix those who weep. Weep w/ those who weep, and comfort them w/ the comfort I give you.
        For the past week or more, situations have been chipping away at me such that when I experienced a violation that hasn't happened in years, it sunk me beyond my will power's ability to let it roll off. I asked Daddy-God to cover me back up, heal me and restore my dignity Himself even more than He used to do thru my best friend...Jehovah Sneaky's way of healing my heart, teaching me to trust, bond and feel safest w/ him. Lol. Anyway, I've been yielding to Him and trying to stay in worship so that He can still flow thru me, and today He reminded me when I saw a lady I had encountered in Hebrews last spring that He truly does care.
        I truly try to think beyond myself, to think about others and how to love and encourage them. I try to weigh out what I ask of others, so that when something is a super big deal the person will notice, "Wow, she doesn't ask for much. This must be a big deal to her." - I know, never assume what people will think or do. Last spring, I wanted to give someone a break from driving me, so I said I'd take the bus up to Bethel. On my way to the bus stop, I tripped, and as I was standing up, a car stopped. A college-age girl hopped out and sweetly offered to help, asked where I was going and offered to drive me. Her mother, however, took control of the situation, told her she wasn't going to help me bc I was a legal issue and might sue her, then she proceeded to call the police...I rolled my eyes and walked to the bus stop bc I didn't need that, no matter how tired I was.
        When the cop drove up, I glared at him, but he was nice anyway and offered to drive me to Bethel when he found out where I was headed. It would save me a dollar, so nodded. He had put two and two together and seemed to realize what had transpired. He was very nice and said it would piss him off if it had happened to him, which made me feel more like a real human being. As we chatted, my bag buzzed bc someone texted me, and I chuckled at the thot of my hilarious friend texting me, "What are you doing in the back of a cop car?" He dropped me off at the side of Hebrews, so I thanked him and went inside to have my dinner. I remembered that I had a text and checked it, and who would it be other than my dear friend, "Why are you in the back of a police car? LOL" It made me laugh, even tho I was trying to shake off the degrading feeling of having been reduced to a legal issue.
        After cleaning up from my dinner, a lady who was sitting near me smiled, said hi, and asked how I was. I chuckled that it had been a rough afternoon and that I was trying to get it to roll off. People usually disconnect and go back to what they their stuff at this point. So when she asked what had happened, I was a bit surprised and told her briefly, still expecting her to become disinterested. Instead, she immediately brushed it off my shoulders and said,
        "Well, we just break those words off of you in Jesus' Name. You are not a legal issue. You're a daughter of the King!" She spoke further words of Truth and healing into me, and I felt it all lift/roll off.
        I looked up to see someone whom I was suppose to talk to coming towards us, someone I sensed I was to learn to trust but didn't want to bc something horrible would probably end it. He came, kissed her, talked w/ her, then left to get things ready for the service...I did a note-to-self, he must be her husband, and I had been Set Up to face him! Once he was gone, I rolled my eyes a bit and told her that I was suppose to talk to him but didn't want him to think I'd be hanging on him for the rest of his life...some seem to think that. She said he was discerning and knew I wouldn't be like that. So I asked him what I was suppose to ask him, and now he is another person I am learning to trust bc Daddy-God says that he's clean and safe.
Posted by Jessica at 11:00 PM.        
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Sept. 8, 12
        In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord. He was seated on His throne. His long robe filled the temple. He was highly honored. Above Him were seraphs. Each of them had six wings. With two wings they covered their faces. With two wings they covered their feet. And with two wings they were flying. They were calling out to one another. They were saying,
"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord who rules over all.
The whole earth is full of His glory."
        The sound of their voices caused the stone doorframe to shake. Isaiah 6:1-4
        This is one of my favorite passages bc it gives us a glimpse into Daddy-God's Throne Room and the beauty that surrounds Him. It has also opened my eyes to a greater understanding of what worship is. Worship is far more than words and songs; worship is a way of life. The seraphs were made to fly, so flying around the Throne and exulting Him is their worship. For those who were created to be teachers, teaching for His glory is an act of worship for them. For those who understand math and accounting, doing accountant work to His glory is one of their ways of worshipping Him. Parents pouring into their kiddos is an act of worship for them, and when being poked, climbed on, squashed, etc. is painful, it's a sacrifice of praise that is precious to Him bc it's the only time they'll be able to give Him that. Musicians playing what He's put in them to play, even if it's secular, is their worship to the Lord. Worship is anything that glorifies Him! Our praise shakes the foundations, and only His Truth will stand firm.
Posted by Jessica at 4:44 PM.        
Post a comment.        1 Comment So encouraging, thanks :)        1 Like

Sept. 6, 12
        You will make known to me the path of life; In Your Presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11
        I so love His Presence! There is nothing better than being in His Presence and encountering Him, which started for me
a few years ago, and I am sucker for wanting more. Since I've been in Redding, I've been going to a prophetic group w/ my sister-in-law where the Lord's Presence is very evident. I love learning how to hear and discern what Holy Spirit is saying and doing, and seeing how He shows up never gets old. But being drenched in Him is the best of all!! Thank you to the three of you who host His Presence so well and then invite us to the party! Also, thank you for the constant reminders that His Presence is what we need to make it thru..
        Ever since our pastor, Davis, talked about the importance of music in the 24/7 worship that goes on around Daddy-God's Throne, I've had an insatiable desire to host His Presence in my house by playing worship music. So I started playing worship music all day long, and when I needed some quietness, I just turned it down. It definitely changed the atmosphere in my house, and it was also fun to watch people's responses.. Some commented as soon as they walked in the front door on how cozy and comfortable my house was and others sat down or lay on the floor to soak. - I sooooo love Him! As I see what He can do and wants to do, I have that same insatiable desire to create such a strong atmosphere of worship in our house that He is compelled to come and make our house His Throne Room... so that when people simply walk in the door, they get their breakthru, freedom, healing, restoration, etc. Now that I'm here, I play worship in our den, and my nephew said a week or so ago that when he sat down in my laptop area it felt really good. I also play worship music on my ipod, which I keep on the little boy bed in my room that he likes to sleep in...he says my room is calm when he goes in there. Holy Spirit, hee hee hee!!
Posted by Jessica at 8:18 PM.         Post a comment.        2 Likes

Sept. 5, 12
        All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the LORD weighs the motives. Proverbs 16:2
        Early in the spring of 1995, the Lord began to hone in on having me make sure that my motives are always pure and remain pure. I had been thru seemingly endless violation and pain during my growing up years, and at the start of that year, Daddy-God had begun to introduce me to a gentleness and safety that I didn't know existed outside of Himself. Instead of wanting to be battered just for the physical contact and to know that I did exist, I began to long to be loved gently and respectfully. Right off the bat, Daddy-God let me see how my longing to be loved must be fulfilled by Him alone, and that seeking love from others, esp. my hubby, would drain them dry bc my need is so deep. Even then, He began to show me how loving the husband He had for me w/ the wrong motives would hinder his ability to fully walk out the huge call that is on his life. He also began to sit on me regarding my motives for loving and interacting w/ others. Are you loving bc you're lonely and want to be loved back? Or are you loving for the sake of pouring into the person? Will you love your hubby bc you're tired and want to be loved, or will you love him and pour into him out of the fullness you have from Me? Love and pour out to others as I Love and pour out to you just for the sake of Loving you.
        The Lord took this a step further years later, after the endless stream of losses became overwhelming. I sought His comfort day in and day out until He asked me if I loved Him for Him or for comfort. My desire for comfort was becoming my "god." So I asked Him to help me to Love Him for Him, not for His comfort, and for two weeks, He became like an door of ice on a frozen lake. I had nothing on to keep me warm, and for those two weeks I sat at His feet, asking Him to help me to want HIM more than the soothing comfort and warmth of affection. He granted my request, and now the freedom I have before Him is beyond words bc I just want to Love Him and others for the sake of Loving Him. (...as best I can when I'm not overwhelmed w/ pain and such from difficult and degrading circumstances! Lol)
        Seventeen years ago today, 9/5/95, the Lord pointed out my best friend, and I promptly fell spread-eagle facedown on the floor in UTCC. He said I need to stay at His feet w/ this one and Love w/ absolute purity...
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Sept. 3, 12
        "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Philipians 2:4 and Galations 6:2)
        Listening seems to be an art and is one of the greatest gifts we can give someone. Looking at a person in the eye and listening to them is a huge way that we can say, "I value you and what you have to say." Heidi Baker and my best friend do this amazingly well. As I've watched Heidi, I've seen how she focuses so intently on the person she's talking to that no one can catch her eye for even the smallest interruption. Each time she's talked and prayed w/ me, I'm the only person in her world, and it's the same way w/ how my best friend locks into me during our conversations. When his dad and I were interrupted, he would put his hand on my arm to keep the connection and maybe also to gently inform the interruptor that we were talking. I try to chit-chat lightly bc other than these three individuals, I seem to only (sometimes) be able to have an uninterrupted "heart" conversation w/ someone if no one else is around. People either don't realize I'm sharing w/ someone or feel that their need is quick and/or more important than our conversation. Yes, I choose to assertively resume the conversation if it's important enough, but the reconnection isn't the same, maybe bc nonverbal things have been communicated regarding the importance of our conversation and relationship. The continuity of it hurts, so I want to learn how to lock into others I'm talking w/ so that they feel valued and cared about.
        When kiddos are learning not to interrupt, they don't need to be yelled at bc they don't automatically know that interrupting conversations is being inconsiderate of others. W/ my kiddos, I want to just put a loving hand on their head or cheek, hold their hand, or pull them onto my lap and snuggle them, etc. to acknowledge them and connect w/ them, then let them know that I'm talking w/ someone so they need to wait a minute unless it's an emergency. It will help them to learn to be sensitive to situations they walk into, and it will also teach them to think beyond themselves, to think about and value others. I'll resume the conversation w/ the person to finish the sentence or thot, then find out what they need or want..
        Asking appropriate questions and empathizing is another part of active listening that communicates to others that we truly care. Holy Spirit can direct us so that we ask questions that are safe and caring but not intrusive. My best friend's whole family are amazing listeners and taught me by example how to ask questions and then to remember the details. They asked me so many questions and also shared bits here and there from their own experiences as a way to let me know that they could relate to what I had shared. Yet what they shared was never long enough to bring the focus onto themselves. What they shared was just enough to empathize w/ what I had said and to make a connection w/ me, but w/o taking over the conversation. When I asked them questions, then they shared more. Whenever you read this, thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn, and continue to learn, these things...how to value and lift up others.
Posted by Jessica at 6:11 PM.        
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Aug. 30, 12
        God said to Moses, I Am Who I Am. Exodus 3:14
        The Lord is whatever we need. If we are tired, He says, I Am your Rest. If we are hungry, He says, I Am your Food. If we are weak and weary, He says, I Am your Strength. - One of my favorite books is Mountains of Spices, by Hannah Hurnard bc in it she describes the fruit of the Spirit as specific spices, plants, or trees, and the picture she paints of each trait brings it alive! Anyway, in another book, she tells a story about two women who meet in a check-out line or something, and one commented on how snowy it was that day where she lived. When the other woman found out where the first woman lived, she argued that the woman couldn't possibly live on that mountain bc she did, and it was warm and green with flowers everywhere. They argued back and forth, only to find out that they lived on opposite sides of the same mountain; one side was cold and snowy most of the year while the other side was warmer and green with occasional snows during the winter. Hurnard wrote it to show that there is only one God but different sides to Him.
        At the time, I was wowed by the illustration of how each of us sees a different side of Daddy-God, and that by embracing one another's experiences w/ Him and His Truth, we gain a broader view of Who He is! While we must always work out our own salvation (Phil. 2:12) and test the spirits (1 Jn 4:1) to keep ourselves in right alignment w/ Him, there's so much more to Him! To me, He is all gentleness, partly bc of what I've been thru, and also bc He made me very sensitive for specific purposes. Many people want me to toughen up so that things in life won't take me out so much (and possibly so that I'll be easier to deal w/. Lol.) Yet every time I toughen up, He melts my heart and works healing so that He can work in and thru me as He desires. I suppose that's why being around gentle and encouraging people is such a big deal...they don't say or do things that shred me.
        To one who needs structure, He is Structure, and to another who is "the class clown," He is Fun and Goofy. In coming to know those around us and Who He is to them, we gain a broader picture and understanding of Who He is and His beauty!
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Aug. 27, 12
        "All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." So he got up and ate and drank. 1 Kings 19:5-8
        The Lord will give us the sustenance we need and even ask for to get us thru challenges. I remember when I graduated w/ my Bachelors degree, I was going to have to see someone who had done things that I was at that time working thru and healing from. ... I had finished my four years of undergraduate studies in three and a half years, and my parents, brother, and aunt and uncle were coming to the graduation. I wondered what it would be like to have them there, and I was deeply apprehensive about having to be around one in particular again. I knew he would give me a hug that I didn't know how to avoid, and I knew it would make me feel sick and horrible again. I had come so far that I almost felt like a normal girl, with girl thoughts and perceptions, and I did not want to lose a hold on that.
        So I went to see my now best friend's dad in hopes for just a hi and a smile, nothing more, in order to help me to keep my mind focused with a clean, sweet memory while this other person was around. He was in his office when I knocked on the door, and he invited me in.
        "Well, hi Pretty Girl!" he smiled. It always amazed me that he saw me this way, and I felt pretty...being a girl was not a bad thing any longer. He was busy and late to a meeting, but he still talked with me as he collected his things. "You're still here. When are you going home?"
        "Not until tomorrow night."
        "Why not until tomorrow night?" He closed his door.
        "I'm graduating tomorrow night."
        "I'm very proud of you. I'm sorry to run off, but I'm late to a boring meeting." He smiled and winked as he started down the stairs, and I felt badly for making him even later than he was already. Halfway down the stairs he stopped, turned around and came back to me, and taking my face in his hands, he kissed my forehead.
        "I'm very proud of you," he said again.
        Then he was gone. This was far more than what the intent of my going had held. A simple smile would have sufficed, so I determined to hold this memory close and did not allow myself to think about anything that this other person might open up.
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Aug. 26, 12
        "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19
        When Daddy-God is doing a new thing and asks us to step out in faith, He may only fill us in on how to do the stepping out part. We usually don't get to see the whole picture or how the following steps will fall into place, but He knows. Often, He's waiting for us to step out. This was my verse for the season I was in during my college years while I was working, maintaining a full load of classes, and learning to trust Him...
        One afternoon, on deciding to take a break from work to pick up my mail in the mailroom, I took a shortcut across the grass when I saw someone tall coming towards me. It unnerved me bc he always seemed to look into me deeply without ever using it to hurt me, and here he was again.
        "Hey!" he smiled. "I was just coming to see you!"
        "Really? What's new with you?"
        "I have a gig on Friday night at the No Future Café." (Renaming it the Incredible Future Café.)
        "Really!"
        "Yeah! You want to come? I have a flyer." He handed me a small piece of paper with the words "fur eels Friday night, February 5th" written at the top with directions.
        "I'd love to come! What time?"
        "I'll be playing at eight thirty, but it starts at seven thirty."
        "All right. Thanks!"
        "Where are you going?" He asked.
        "I have to check my mail and then go back to work."
        "Can I walk with you?"
        "Sure!" I replied in complete wonderment. ... I also wondered how I was going to get to the café because I really wanted to go and felt an urge to find a ride. So I prayed then asked a friend if she would want to go with me. She was not able to go and stay, but she offered to take me anyway. Even though I was a little nervous and could not schedule a taxi ride home since I did not know when it would be over, a sense of relief filled me at being able to go alone. My friend dropped me off at the café and waved as she drove away.
        Lord, I don't have a ride home.
        Trust Me. You'll get home.
        So I did not think about it much again. After making the guys at the door a little nervous, I walked along the sidewall towards the front and spotted my best friend getting ready. As I looked steadily at him to catch his eye, he looked up and saw me and smiled, so I relaxed and took a seat at a nearby table. He played and sang with passion, and kept the others in the band following his lead, creating a uniform performance. He had the skill and sensitivity to bring everyone around him where he wanted to go, and I could not hide my smile. Everything in his DNA made him an incredible musician and leader. Everything about him set him apart.
        As soon as the last song had ended, I left to go around to the back where I had seen him disappear, and when he saw me, he came over.
        "What did you think?" he asked excitedly.
        "You're a kick! I loved it!"
        "I wasn't sure you were going to come, and then there you were! I can take you home, but do you mind hanging around awhile? I don't want to go yet."
        "That's fine." I watched everyone and talked with his brother and sister-in-law.
        Once people started to leave, my best friend said his good byes, and we left. As we talked, the passions I felt in him awakened my mind to my own thoughts that he understood in a way that no one else had before. Our conversations crossed an expanse that was thrilling, and it felt as though we were flying side by side in our thots and words, neither one tiring or lagging behind...
Posted by Jessica at 2:05 PM.        
Post a comment.        2 Comments Really good Jessica
I love that story
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Aug. 25, 12
        "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.... You shall love your neighbor as yourself." John 13:34 and Matthew 22:39
        We know that we are to Love others unconditionally like how Daddy-God Loves us, but how do we do that? This seems to entail more than simply loving others as we understand it. I've noticed that those who are comfortable w/ like themselves and who they are tend to be more comfortable w/ me and my quirks, both my personality and physical oddities. So when Daddy-God works in us to bring healing, it's so that we will not only be whole and embrace who He made us to be, but He also knows that the more we like and embrace who we are, the more we will be able to like and embrace others and their uniquenesses. If we don't see His beauty in ourselves, we won't see His beauty in others.
        One summer, the Lord brought me to work as a camp secretary, and over that summer He put a mirror in front of my face bc I needed to get over myself, my looks, drool, squeaks and all. He set me up to finish this part of my healing process. I worked night and day w/ the most accepting and loving team: Kyle whistled at me in front of his campers so much that every new group invited me to their special spot; Dave picked at me to make me laugh during chapel and even straddled the back of my scooter seat, leaned over my head and drove us at full speed down the horribly steep asphalt hill just for kicks; Richard and Jodie were always honoring and respectful; Melissa was the queen of affection and touch, and when I had to come in to refill my water bottle, she greeted me affectionately w/ endearing and uplifting words and never giggled, tensed up, commented or shied away from the drool on the straw or my quirks. It was the final realization as I was confronted w/ myself head-on that I was a normal and beautiful human being, not a diseased untouchable leper-like creature.
        This next story is an example of how we can embrace and value others once we have become comfortable w/ ourselves. I knew my best friend's dad first, and on my first visit to his office he asked me so many questions in order to get a feel for my world (I think). "What do you have? What's walking like for you? ... No wonder you're thin..." What's this like? What's that like? until he knew my world like no one ever had. One day, my brother and my mom came and visited me at school, so I brought them to chapel. My best friend's dad kept singing the worship songs w/ me and making me and my friend smile, and when chapel was over my mom left to go back to my apartment while my brother and I went down to my scooter. As I hopped on my scooter, I heard his dad talking w/ a colleague, and all four limbs seemed to sprawl out and flail in a less-than-human way and I wanted to disappear...but it wasn't meant to be. I expected his dad to not acknowledge me bc he had business to attend to w/ his colleague. He stopped instead, apparently not noticing my less-than-human state of being, and I couldn't feel one uncomfortable twinge w/in his six foot plus frame. He looked into my eyes and asked,
        "Hi Boss! May I kiss you?"
        My eyes widened in panic as everything I knew flooded my brain, but I nodded bc I trusted him. He always asked and had my smile before he hugged me, but on days he saw in my eyes that I needed to not be touched he never asked, just gave me space or held his hand out to me. I was learning a whole new world of things, and yet there were still so many unknowns.
        "On the cheek," he said.
        I nodded again, so he took my face in his hands and gently kissed my cheek. He smiled as he straightened and extended his hand to greet my brother, then he winked at me before turning to continue on w/ his colleague. Later that day, he saw us again and put his arms around my shoulders, resting his chin on my head as he spoke w/ my brother. ... Now, w/ the job I have, I get to value those I work w/ in similar way...I can embrace them, twitches and all bc I'm comfortable in my own skin.
Posted by Jessica at 10:55 PM.        
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Aug. 22, 12
        Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. Hebrews 11:6
        Love and faith seem to rank highest in Daddy-God's heart. Of faith, hope and love, "the greatest of these is love," yet "without faith it is impossible to please God." He fuels us w/ hope to give us the faith to please Him. I've noticed that there are two states of the heart that question Him regarding the things He promises or shares w/ us. One is a heart of doubt and/or resistance behind the how, what, or why questions, and the other is faith-filled heart that desires to be precisely where s/he needs to be and from that place is seeking a greater understanding.
        Several years ago (seems like 10), Daddy-God was showing me a lot about warfare, how to war in the spirit and how to fight for my inheritance. I realize that our focus should always be on His face and not the enemy's pitiful distractions, but at that time I was learning about things so that I could come against them effectively. As things progressed in a hopeless direction w/ my [promise], the Lord began explaining what was happening in the spirit so I wouldn't be inappropriately angry and would also know how to pray. He showed me things that I thot He'd never allow to happened, so I asked Him to give me human examples in order to know that I was actually hearing Him and not living in a self-created soap opera.
        One of the things He showed me was what witchcraft is, but I didn't fully comprehend that reality of what He showed until months later when I met a girl at a Bible study. When I met her, it was indeed flattering to be complimented and talked to in a normal, friendly way, but as we hung out, ate dinner together and watched the Awakening in Kansas City, the atmosphere in my house began to change. Then one day while we were running errands, she flat-out told me that witchcraft is over-riding another's will and willing them (in your spirit plus other means) to do what you want them to do, and if you're a Christian, it's called charismatic witchcraft. She proceeded to tell me in detail how she had done that to someone and had kept the person in tow for years. I was stunned...what she shared was exactly what Daddy-God had been showing me, but I couldn't believe that He would actually allow something that horrible to be done.
        He also showed me thru an experience how the mind-numbing spirit operates and can accompany this other horrible method of control. - One afternoon when I went to my prayer spot, a car came. Immediately, my lungs tightened, making it hard to breathe, and as I struggled to take a deep breath, I realized that my mind was completely empty. I sat there analyzing w/ my heart in order to understand w/ my feelings what was going on, and I found that our hearts can 'think' and know things w/out words. As I continued to analyze everything, I saw in a heart-knowing way how easily someone could completely control me bc I had no thots w/ which to make a decision or resist. Since I knew what was happening and knew that only praying could break it, I wondered how I could pray w/out words. So I ended up acting out my "Daddy, help!" cry by reaching up as high as I could until the word "praise" came into my mind. I took that one word and said it over and over, slashing the air w/ my (in-the-spirit) sword, until "Jesus" was added to my vocabulary. I said "praise Jesus" w/ even more gusto, and w/in seconds all my words came flooding back into my brain, enabling me to exult Him w/ floods of praise and adoration. Literally, a minute later, the car left, leaving the others behind for me to cover w/ love, prayers and praising Him. Praising Him and focusing on Him is a powerful weapon of warfare, plus it's crazy fun! In Him is true freedom!!!!!! Freedom to think! Freedom to make decisions! Freedom to be who we were made to be!! He's sooooooo beautiful!!!!
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Aug. 20, 12
        But Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor. ... When Haman saw that Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor, he was enraged. Yet having learned who Mordecai's people were, he scorned the idea of killing only Mordecai. Instead Haman looked for a way to destroy all Mordecai's people, the Jews, throughout the whole kingdom of Xerxes. Esther 3:2, 5 & 6
        Haman got the robe and the horse. He robed Mordecai, and led him on horseback through the city streets, proclaiming before him, "This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!" Afterward Mordecai returned to the king's gate. But Haman rushed home, with his head covered in grief... His advisers and his wife Zeresh said to him, "Since Mordecai, before whom your downfall has started, is of Jewish origin, you cannot stand against him - you will surely come to ruin!" Esther 6:11-13
        To they impaled Haman on the pole he had set up for Mordecai. Then the king's fury subsided. ... The king took off his signet ring, which he had reclaimed from Haman, and presented it to Mordecai. And Esther appointed him over Haman's estate. On this day the enemies of the Jews had hoped to overpower them, but now the tables were turned and the Jews got the upper hand over those who hated them. The Jews assembled in their cities in all the provinces of King Xerxes to attack those determined to destroy them. No one could stand against them, because the people of all the other nationalities were afraid of them. And all the nobles of the provinces, the satraps, the governors and the king's administrators helped the Jews, because fear of Mordecai had seized them. Mordecai was prominent in the palace; his reputation spread throughout the provinces, and he became more and more powerful. .... "If it pleases the king," Esther answered, "give the Jews in Susa permission to carry out this day's edict tomorrow also, and let Haman's ten sons be impaled on poles." So the king commanded that this be done. Esther 7:10, 8:2, 9:1-4, 13 & 14
        There may be price for taking a stand, but Daddy-God is a God of justice, recompense, restoration... and He is not sparing or shy about dishing it out. As we take our stand and relentlessly pursue taking back all that's been taken from us like Eric talked on yesterday morning, we will recover everything and justice will be served in full! Pressed down and overflowing...
Posted by Jessica at 1:33 PM.        
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Aug. 18, 12
        All Your works praise You, Lord; Your faithful people extol You. They tell of the glory of Your Kingdom and speak of Your might, so that all people may know of Your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of Your Kingdom. Psalms 145:10-12
        They triumphed over him [satan] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Revelation 12:11
        Sharing our faith-stories w/ each other increases the faith of those listening and strengthens their/our ability to overcome the enemy. Years ago, the enemy was hammering me w/ the "permanency" of my loses and how I will be reminded every single day of all of his "apparent" victories. So I asked the Lord to bring a friend online who knows what the Lord has asked of me, has promised me and what's happened. I just wanted to expose the enemy in order to put his taunts into perspective, then talk about the Truth, a process she understands. When I told her the specifics of what the painful thots were, she said,
        "Oh, he's such a stupid liar. Let me tell you about my sister. She was [innocently in a similar situation], and the Lord got her out of it. Now she is [restored] and has no memories of [those years]. She's maybe recalled it as a distant dream twice in the last seven years. It's so easy for Him to do. You won't have memories of these years like He's promised you."
        She reminded me that the Lord will give us justice in addition to restoring everything w/ compound interest, as He did her sister. I've noticed that I've never been bothered by that specific lie since bc I have her faith-story to recall. Sharing what the Lord has done renews our hope, our faith, our vision and focus, and strengthens our ability to overcome the enemy. Sooooo, we need to share w/ each other what the Lord has done in our lives!
Posted by Jessica at 8:08 PM.        
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Aug. 17, 12
        People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last. Luke 13:29-30
        ...on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all. Mark 9:34 & 35
        This is a concept that absolutely blows me away and humbles me. My first experiences in seeing leaders lead by loving, guiding and serving was w/ my best friend, his dad, and then our pastor and other pastors in this stream like Che Ahn, Bill Johnson, Heidi and Rolland Baker, Georgian Banov, etc. My best friend first brought me into this stream thirteen or so years ago, and it was the beginning of learning so many things like the prophetic, authority/leadership, and the supernatural, to name a few. I had learned to trust my best friend and his dad, and now I had to trust our pastor. After getting to know our pastor and watching him lead, guide and serve all of us while always putting his family first, it began to sink in.
        Then one Wednesday night, he talked on authority and part way thru told me I needed to listen to this, which made me smile even tho it was a little prod. He was telling us that he was there to love us, guide us and serve us, not control us or punish us...that being in leadership means you're responsible for others to lead and guide in love, not control them, demean them, etc. As he talked, he drew this picture of man being under his wife and children to serve her/them and guide/motivate her/them thru love, just as the church leads, guides and serves him/them and as Jesus leads, guides and serves the church, His Bride. Daddy-God is the lowest of all servants as an example to us of true Love, Humility, and Self-Giving, which makes Him God over all bc in the Kingdom, the greatest is the servant of all. - It just makes me wow Him every time I think about it.
               
Posted by Jessica at 1:44 PM.        
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Aug. 15, 12
        Put three Heavenly Blue Morning Glory not-soaked/not-started/as in dead seeds in dirt on Sat.(8/11) bc I want to grow some to give to my best friend's mom when I see her again... I went to water the pot yesterday(8/14) and two had sprouted. They're three inches high today! Acceleration and new life! :')
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Aug. 14, 12
God of all comfort!
        Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3 & 4
        The Lord comforts us according to the work He is doing in us. If it's to draw us into Himself and Him alone, He may use His Word or an encounter to breathe life back into our souls and comfort our hearts, or He may give us a word to remind us of His Promises to us. If He's healing our hearts, He may use people to comfort us in ways He wants to use us to comfort others who are hurting, as He did w/ me. Here's a story He reminded me of tonight, and it's gentling my heart to write it out...
        One time when I was with someone, I knew I needed to share a little about the things that had happened in my childhood and also presently related things, so I did. I was promptly told that the things I was facing were not that painful and that they did not want to hear about it anymore. The rejection stung deeply, so when they had gone, I left to clear my head and said,
        "Lord, if you are bringing me into [this promise of full restoration], I need them right now."
        As I drove to my prayer spot in the nursery to draw and sort out my spinning mind and hurting heart w/ the Lord, my best friend's dad saw me. "Well, hello Sunshine!" he smiled. "We're baby-sitting... Come in and meet [the little one]."
        [The little one] was checking out the water in the pool they had just bought for him that day, and his Grandma said to him, "[Little one], this is Jessica!"
        He looked at me as if he was thinking, Oh, I know her, and returned to carefully fingering the water in the pool. He had seen me for the first time that he'd remember a month earlier when he was in the car w/ his dad, and he did seem to remember.
        "Can you say Jessica?" she asked him.
        "Jessica." He looked at me and then went back to fingering the water, so I joined him. I had to smile at the fact that this was his very first time of having a play-pool at Grandma and Grandpa's house, a first-time experience for him that I was able to be a part of. Within three minutes, we were splashing and playing in the water as though he had known me all of his life. Maybe he had; maybe his spirit knew who I was just as I knew in my spirit knew who he was. He listened to every single word I said, counted the fish on the bottom of the pool w/ me, and took me oh so seriously. When I started talking to his Grandma, he pulled on my sleeve each time,
        "Jessica! Jessica! Play w/ me!"
        Eventually, he felt the need to holler my name into the backyard a dozen times or so as loudly as he could as though he was saying I belonged there. He was definitely the first two-year old who had ever been able to pronounce my whole name bc it was important enough to his parents and grandparents to encourage him to say my name correctly. Whenever I saw them, [the little one's] dad would say, "[Little one], say hi to Jessica!" then his dad would calmly watch him until [the little one] looked at me and said, "Hi Jessica." It made me laugh, comforted my heart and gave me a sense of dignity...something I would like to be able to do for others.
Posted by Jessica at 12:44 AM.        
Post a comment.        2 Comments You are a fabulous writer my friend!
Awww, cute. I like that story
       3 Likes


Aug. 11, 12
        [Peter] walked on the water toward Jesus. But when Peter saw the wind, he was afraid. He began to sink. He cried out, "Lord! Save me!" Right away Jesus reached out His hand and caught him.
        Your faith is so small! Why did you doubt me?
        When they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Matthew 14:29-32
        Storms come in different shapes and sizes. Some people's storms are trying to juggle everything they have to do, and trying to stay on top of all their responsibilities is overwhelming. For others, their relationship situations are the storms in their lives. W/ me, the torments and taunts from the enemy are my storms, and the Lord repeatedly reminds me,
        You must keep your eyes on My face and on what I've shown you, or you won't make it thru this.
        So when the enemy starts taunting me w/ each God-thing that he's successfully (yet temporarily) destroyed and the pain crashes overwhelmingly around me, I cry out "Daddy!" until I can focus enough to praise Him, worship and declare the Truth of everything as He sees it. Focusing on His face, worshipping, and seeing as He sees brings His Peace and Divine Order. As I look into His face, the torment and pain die down, and I remember Who He is and that He can restore and rewrite it all. He lifts me back up to where He is standing, and His Truth quiets the raging storm around me...it worked yet again this morning! When responsibilities, busyness, relational situations, personal issues, etc take our eyes off our Lord's face, we must get focused back on Him, whether by reading His Word, worshipping, praying, yielding, laughing at it, etc. until we see our circumstances as He sees them, the storms still and Divine Order/Kingdom Perspective comes. Then we'll know what to do and when to do it.
Posted by Jessica at 4:50 PM.        
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Aug. 10, 12
        "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3
        As I was reading this verse and thinking about what the Lord had shown me, I realized it's not what I typically hear. While we do need to be childlike in our trust and faith in the Father and trust our Daddy like three-year-olds trust their daddies/mommies, there's more to it. Children are known for their frank and open honesty, and this is what Daddy-God is looking for in us. Since He already knows what we're thinking, we're not being open or honest w/ ourselves or Him if we try to give Him pretty presentations. Our Daddy actually wants to hear what we're thinking and feeling! and w/
boldness and confidence at that!! Thru being surrounded by circumstance that remind me of all I've until I've exploded in His face, even dropping f-bombs bc of the overwhelming pain, I've learned that He values us, what we're thinking and feeling, and where we're at along our individual journeys...He wants to 'know' bc there's a special intimacy in that kind of relationship. There's also a deep sense of security (for me at least) in knowing that I/we'll never be 'too much' for Him and that He'll never grow tired of our needing Him... His Loving responses, forgiveness and grace undoes me every time, and I stand in awe of Him. It also shows me how I need to be as a parent.
        Oh yes, I also sense that boldness and childlike honesty w/ Daddy-God are significant ways to break religious mindsets! Lol!!
Posted by Jessica at 11:58 PM.         Post a comment.        2 Likes

Aug. 9, 12
        A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22
       [A wife of noble character] She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25
        Laughter has become a weapon of victory in my battles against fear, esp. this week, and I attribute it to my sister-in-law and her motto, "Let's just laugh about that." As I've been hit by so many stupid yet looming fears these past few days, I have felt the Lord saying,
        Just laugh at it, like a nanny, nanny, nanny laugh at it.
        So I have been giving each fear a stare-down while laughing in its face. In doing so, each fear has actually become funny as Kingdom perspective comes and reveals its True size...so small that it can be squashed like a bug. This from my post at work.
Laughter:
∗ Relaxes our whole body
- A good, strong laugh takes away physical tension and stress, and helps our muscles to relax for up to 45 minutes after laughing.
Strengthens our immune systems - Laughter lessens stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, and this is what improves our resistance to disease.
Starts the release of endorphins - Endorphins are our bodies' natural happy chemicals. Endorphins give us sense of well-being and can even relieve pain for a little while.
Protects our hearts - Laughter makes blood vessels function better and increases blood flow, and this can help to protect us against a heart attack and other heart problems.
Posted by Jessica at 11:25 PM.        
Post a comment.        1 Comment Love it, Jess!       2 Likes

Aug. 7, 12
        "When a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said." Numbers 30:2
        Who may live on your holy mountain? ... The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, ... who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; Psalms 1, 2 & 4
        Sometimes I wince at living my life according to my vow and covenant to the Lord and His promise to me, and on my way home tonight He reminded me of His views on keeping our words and vows(unless He releases us). On the way home from work, and then again coming home from an errand, I saw Covenant Transport trucks, 2 of them...I only occasionally ever see one, never two. It was a reminder to me that keeping our word and the vows we make is a bigger deal to the Lord than we may think. After various attempts to turn away from this specific vow and covenant I had made, like in the
Forever story, I have come to realize that the words we give and the vows we make are a big deal to the Lord. Every time I become tired and discouraged, He reminds me that I gave my word to stay faithful no matter what. As I've wiggled and squirmed at the inconvenience and stretching that keeping this vow has created, I've felt Him asking me why He should keep His words, vows and promises to me if I feel that I don't need to keep my words, vows and promises to Him or to others. He is a covenant/promise/vow/word-keeping Daddy-God, so we need to reflect Him in that as His daughters and sons. - If we do double-book ourselves or can't keep a word we've given, we should just take it to Him to fix bc He has a way to make things work out so that we're clear w/ Him and others.
Posted by Jessica at 11:03 PM.         Post a comment.        1 Like

Aug. 5, 12
        In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom/boldness and confidence. Ephesians 3:12
        In Him - if we come clean, there is no reason why we can't come before our Daddy boldly and confidently. Jesus cleanses, forgives and covers us, so that we can come before Daddy-God and have Daddy-Time, instead of having things on us that take away from the joy of His Presence. This absolutely blows my mind away. Personally, I guess it's why I like to come clean and get rid of absolutely everything that I'm even faintly aware of before I come before Him... bc then I feel completely free to crawl up into the His lap, talk w/ Him and play w/ His hands or finger His face w/out that knowing of having business I should be taking care of. Interestingly, sadness, pain, sorrow, and such don't keep us from Him (as far as I've learned), but wrong attitudes, thots, etc. do...meaning I don't believe we have to feel happy and up when we come to Him, just clean and yielded.
        Boldness and confidence - I remember my reaction the first time I read this verse bc I jumped, almost visibly. It may have been while I was in high school, and I was in awe that the God of the universe wanted to know what I was thinking. It was such a bizarre concept to me bc I knew authority figures who slammed down every thot, feeling and aspect of being a woman, but the God of the universe values what I think and feel. He wants us to look Him in the eye w/ bold confidence bc we know who we are as His sons and daughters and we know the power and authority we carry in Him. He has also increased my boldness and confidence thru His
provision and answering my telling Him I need covering, and He continues to grow my confidence in standing boldly before Him and telling Him exactly what I think and need. - Countless times He has done this by poking me thru my circumstances until I get in His face and let Him have it, and His responses always strengthen my newly awakened resolve regarding the situations.
        You done?
        Rrrrrgh, yes.
        You know what you need to do?
        Yes.
        Then go do it.
                      -or -
        Ahhh, there's My feisty warrior girl. So, what are you going to do about it?
        He thinks He's funnier than I do at the time.
Posted by Jessica at 5:55 PM.         Post a comment.        1 Comment May I point out that you posted your blog at 5:55!! God is very approving of us acting boldly and confidently.....love it.       3 Likes

Aug. 2, 12
        All of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. May the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 3:8 and Romans 15:5 & 6)
        I've yearned for oneness ever since I can remember, and when the Lord first showed me what it was like to have someone feel w/ me what I felt, I wanted to give that amazingness back to Him. So I asked Him to deepen and expand my heart as far as it could go bc I wanted to be able to feel w/ Him what He feels as much as I humanly could, and He is granting me my request. He also began to show me the healing properties of oneness as well as the things that can be accomplished when people unite together as one.
        Years ago, as I was holding my keys and moving them w/ my lips to find the right one, my best friend said, "I don't know how to help you. I want to be inside your thots." I told him I didn't think about needing help and that he could come in if he wanted, so he did. As I did things, like hanging up shirts, he would slide in and do the right hand part w/ perfection w/out having to ask how. (People either don't help, or do it for me instead of w/ me.) I tried hard not to stare at him, and if it weren't for the fact I knew his parents, I'd wonder if he had any. It was beyond trippy to be of one mind like that and to come to know what it's like to have two hands working together as tho I had been healed. It was also amazing to have my balance improve and my muscles relax so I could sleep nine hours straight. I can't be the only human on this ball of water who improves physically (and all the other ways) thru oneness. What if Holy Spirit-led oneness heals people physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, etc.?
Posted by Jessica at 6:20 PM.        
Post a comment.        2 Comments Thank you Jessica.
This is my favorite one so far
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July 31, 12
        "Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood." Isaiah 54:4
        "You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world." John 16:20 & 21
        I didn't know Daddy-God healed pictures to make a point, or for any other reason for that matter. Very early on in this journey, I had been given a few pictures of the people who are a part of my promise, and I kept them stacked at the end of the couch to remind me that I truly am a [part of this promise]. Nevertheless, I had days of deep discouragement from the pain of it all being gone. One afternoon, Daddy-God gave me enough strength to water my thirsty plants, so I filled the empty milk container I used for watering. I returned to the living room to proceed with the watering, eyeing the precious pictures at the end of the couch but too discouraged to care what might happen if water splashed on them. Sure enough, as I watered the hanging pothos, there was a jolt of water, and one huge drop hit the little one's chin while three more landed across the top of the picture. I froze, staring with utter hopelessness at the picture as the water drop on his chin pulled the ink away and the three across the top made their distinct water marks. I stood there and mourned over it since it was an original.
        Maybe this isn't You. Maybe it truly is hopelessly over, I thought as I went into the kitchen to put the watering container away.
        I returned to the couch to continue mourning over the picture when what I saw made me have to look twice. The picture was as it had always been; the little one's chin was smooth and creamy white with not even the slightest discoloration, and the three spots at the top were completely gone. I looked closely, analyzing each part to find the water smudges with the assumption that I had over-dramatized the event, and I noticed that the wrinkle in the paper, which had always showed up in his chin, was still there! Daddy-God had completely healed and restored the picture so that it was impossible to see that anything had destroyed it, and I was filled with hope and life again as I heard what He was saying to me.
        I will heal and restore you and [everything in this promise] so completely that you will not be able to tell that it had all been destroyed.
        The years passed, and the Lord continued to tell me that He will completely erase the memories of all that has happened over these past (now 13) years. As more things continued to happen, the color car-red became a trigger point for pain, but soon an interesting thing began to happen. The Lord began removing the color red from my life to reiterate His Promise that there will no sign, no memory, no evidence that the things He has purposed for me had ever been destroyed. One of the most amazing minuetes of this was the day I was looking at Yahoo's red lettering and thot,
        That will always be red. There's no way You can change that.
        W/in a week and a half, Yahoo's color changed to purple! There's nothing the Lord can't fix, redo, or erase, and He continually gives me reminders of of this Kingdom fact. Also, a few years ago, a friend shared about her sister being in a similar circumstance and how the Lord restored her to where she was suppose to be, and she now has no memory of the years before the Lord restored her.
        Even this morning, I was enjoying this picture story as I went to refill the dish I'm soaking passion flower seeds in...yes I love watching things grow, except bugs. As I had it under the water, my fingers flipped the dish, and four of the five seeds disappeared. So I said, "Give me my seeds back!" I shouldn't have to order more and wait 2 more weeks. In minutes, I saw three huddled under a dish in the sink and thot four out of five is good. But I wanted all five, and five minutes later I saw the fifth one in the other side of the sink. All will be restored..nothing missing!
Posted by Jessica at 10:55 PM.        
Post a comment.        2 Comments Wow
I enjoyed your posts and this one especially... Restoration is also about having eyes to see and you inspire me with the ways you catch the details of His restoration in your life.
       4 Likes


July 30, 12
        Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. 1 Corinthians 9:24 & 25
        Eric talked about this yesterday, and Candace tied it to weeding a garden and how we need to weed out those things that take our time and energy away from what the Lord's called us to do. Olympic athletes must remain completely focused on their training if they want to win the gold metal. He said his friends never took a day off...even when they came for a visit, they trained and massaged their muscles and brought their own food! They still came, hung out and had fun, but they didn't lose their focus on training. He said we also must focus, train, and prepare for the life Daddy-God has put in us to live, and he gave an example of a pastor friend who wanted the Lord to show up like He does at Bethel. This pastor had to weed out other things pastors can often be caught up in that were taking his time and focus away from his goal. If your call is to host the Presence of the Lord, focus on that; if it's teaching, zero in on teaching; if it's evangelizing, concentrate on sharing the gospel; if it's raising kiddos to walk out their destinies, pour yourself into raising them up. Being focused on one thing is not always wrong.
Posted by Jessica at 12:03 PM.        
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July 29, 12
        This is on second heaven revelation...I don't want to write on it, which probably means I should.
        The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Psalms 19:1
        The phrases "first heaven" and "third heaven" are in the bible, but the phrase "second heaven" is not. The Bible refers to the first (or created) heaven quite a bit, such as the creation account in Genesis 1:9,14-15,17,20 and Genesis 2:1. ... The Bible refers to the "third heaven" both explicitly and implicitly. ... Jesus constantly made reference to "your Heavenly Father" or "your Father in Heaven," such as Matthew 5:16... He is referring to His Father (God) who does not reside where man resides but Who lives in Heaven (a spiritual place). ... Second heaven revelation is not intended to bring God's glory or to advance His kingdom, it is intended to advance the devil's purposes. The devil imitates many things God does, and 2 Corinthians 11:14 says that the devil can make himself appears as an "angel of light." The devil can also give visions as he counterfeits the true prophetic. .. Second heaven visions have certain characterizes, and we will look at three of them. ...
∗ First, it is intended to induce fear, anxiety or hopelessness. Second heaven visions paint a dismal picture of the future with little hope or redemption in it. The enemy tries to deceive a godly or prophetic person by giving them revelation of his evil plans and desires. ...
∗ Second, these type of false visions tend to make the devil's power to kill, steal and destroy very large, while at the same time making God's power and sovereignty seem quite small. The goal is to overwhelm God's people with anxiety and concern and fear and hopelessness about an upcoming event or situation. It wants to tear down faith instead of building it up. ...
∗ Third, the enemy tries to give a believer a glimpse of the devil's plans for destruction in an area where the Lord has not given that person authority to do anything about those plans. This leave the prophetic person feeling overwhelmed, worried, and sometimes trying to take on responsibilities that God has not given them, and they try to handled it in their own limited power and weakness. (
Godspeak.net)
        So how do we know if what we sense is second or third revelation? Does what we're sensing bring hope and joy, or fear and hopelessness? The enemy needs someone to agree w/ him in order to bring about a good many of his plans, so who will we agree w/? Someone had a dream that this certain pastor's plane was going to crash, and it struck intense fear in him so he knew it was a second heaven revelation. He refused to agree w/ it and declared the Truth: that the Lord had given him a good life, wonderful wife and children, and a fun ministry, so he wasn't going to die. He boarded the plane, trying not to fear, and before the plane lifted, the left engine blew. The revelation wasn't a lie...it was partially true, but filled w/ hopelessness, fear and destruction. Faith and fear are opposite belief systems, and what we believe often happens. My biggest bugger use to be fear, and the Lord sat on me hard,
        You cannot fear, bc what you fear will happen.
        Everything I have feared has happened, and the Lord is now intensely insistant that I come into agreement w/ Him, so that He can bring back into being all that He desires to do w/ my life. Yes, some things that will be restored may have happened regardless, but not all of it. Still, all of the losses are restorable, He wants us to think, see, and breathe as He does, so He can partner w/ us to bring His Kingdom down here...to make the impossible possible.
Posted by Jessica at 9:25 PM.         Post a comment.

July 25 and 27, 12
        "The truth will set you free." John 8:32
        The Truth always sets us free in big ways and small ways. Telling the truth gives us a clear conscience, even tho we may still get into trouble. Speaking the Truth is saying what Daddy-God is saying, which is never ever destructive...His Truth always sets us free to be who He made us to be.
∗ His Truth points us forward, setting us free from the past.
∗ It tells us who we are and what our purpose is, setting us free from the fear of man and needing man's approval.
∗ It shows us His Kingdom perspective, setting us free from the hopelessness of impossibilities.
∗ His Truth gives us our value and our place as His sons and daughters, setting us free from worthlessness and shame.
∗ It reminds us that we're forgiven, setting us free from guilt and condemnation.
∗ It reveals His unfathomable Love for us, setting us free from fear.
His Truth sets us free.
        The Father's Truth to me about who I am is setting me more and more free from unencouraging words of others, so that I can make it thru each day w/ strength and confidence.
Posted by Jessica at 6:45 PM.        
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July 20, 12
        "Have I not kept this in reserve and sealed it in My vaults? It is Mine to avenge; I will repay." Deuteronomy 32:34 & 35
        "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten ∼" Joel 2:25
        Payback is typically used in the negative sense as in paying back a wrongdoing, but payback is also for those who experience loss bc of doing something right. I worked once as a live-in Personal Assistant to the Vice President of a university, and I learned the hard way not to work for someone w/out a legal contract. When the job ended, I heard the Lord say,
        Figure out how much you should have earned, and I will pay you back.
        So I figured out that w/ all the late nights I had worked w/ her, it came out to being 70 - 80 hours (plus some) that I was focused on her each week. They did pay me monetarily w/ a new laptop and food, but I was still paying the rent and bills for my house. My figures came out to $8,000, and w/in six months the Lord had paid me back all $8,000 plus extra. The good in it is that they introduced me to juicing vegetables, and I had also gained valuable experience to add to my resume.
Posted by Jessica at 9:44 PM.        
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July 18, 12
        Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Hebrews 13:17
        Seth did an amazing talk on covering a few months ago, and it confirmed my journey. Ever since I was little, I've heard about people doing weird things in the name of God, and I determined never to do that bc it seemed so wrong and was never successful. Yet my experiences w/
obedience, provision, and covering began to shifting my thinking. After I lost the last desire of my heart, I wanted to run again even tho the Lord had so graciously and purposefully provided what I had told Him I needed to continue on. I had been wanting pastoral covering as a check, but the Lord was wanting me to rely on Him, so when this happened I told Him I couldn't do this anymore and wasn't going to keep staying faithful to my husband w/out pastoral covering as a check. That day (2/25/07), I talked to Pastor Che but didn't mention how done I was if he didn't cover me. He took my hand in his two hands, looked me in the eye and said, "As your pastor, I am coming into agreement w/ you," and he prayed for my marriage to be restored. So I had to stay the course..I went to him several times until he told me I was sufficiently covered and just needed to be obedient.
        When I came to Redding, I told the Lord that I wanted Pastor Bill's covering. One Sun. night He said to go get him, so I literally chased him down, and his 'body guard' for the night said,
        "Oh! God just restored my marriage! Can I pray for you?"
        Pastor Bill frequently talks about when we get breakthru in a certain area, we have the anointing to pray that breakthru for someone else, so I knew this wasn't a coincidence and that Pastor Bill had taken note of it. They both prayed for me and for my marriage to be restored! I must, therefore, stay on course.
Posted by Jessica at 10:25 AM.         Post a comment.        1 Comment Wow        1 Like

July 15, 12
        "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:25
        Forgiveness resets the standard. If I dishonor, disrespect, etc. my husband in front of our children, I must not only ask for his forgiveness, but I must also ask our children to forgive me in order to reset the standard of honor and respect in our family. By not asking for forgiveness from our children, I am telling them that dishonor and disrespect is the standard for how to treat people, esp. authority figures. However, when we are hurt, we still must forgive and ask for forgiveness, but we must also use wisdom and allow trust to be rebuilt over time.
Posted by Jessica at 10:11 PM.        
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July 14, 12
        Refueling in midair!
        But David found strength in the Lord his God. 1 Samuel 30:6
        Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always...continue to live your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith .. and overflowing with thankfulness. (Psalms 105:4 & Colossians 2:6-7)
        David was as distraught as his men were, but bc of his history w/ God and his daily intake of His Word and His Promises, he was able to refuel himself on the spot on Whom he knew his Lord to be. As a result, he was able to lead his weary men into a great victory where every single person and everything was recovered, and they plundered their enemies. Our daily quiet times before the Lord and our history w/ Him are essential to learning how to keep Him a part of every moment and every thot, such that when we're low on fuel we can draw from our wells of Him on the spot...at any moment w/out having to find a runway, land and find a quiet place to be filled again. I suppose this is a big deal to me bc He's been preparing me to draw on His energy and strength as tho I'm going to be refueling in mid-air frequently when my breakthrus and release come.
Posted by Jessica at 12:21 AM.        
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July 11, 12
        If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. .. One person's faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else? ... One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. ... So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God.. Romans 12:18 & 14:5-22
        Accept life with humility and patience, making allowances for each other because you love each other. Do your best to keep your hearts united by the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. You all belong to one body, of which there is one Spirit, just as you all experienced one calling to one hope. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God, one Father of us all, who is the One over all, the One working through all and the One living in all. Ephesians 4:1-6
        Jeremy Riddle really hit on this well a few months ago. As long as we believe that Jesus is God's Son, our Lord and Saviour, and is alive and moving here and now, not much else matters enough to argue or divide over. We as believers should be the example of unity, not of division, whining, or taking offense.
Posted by Jessica at 7:55 PM.        
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July 8, 12
        But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
        Observing people's ideas on control has been very intriguing to me and made me realize today why one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. There are two types of control: controlling our own thots, words, actions, and keeping healthy boundaries, or controlling others either advertently or subtly. We all know that self-control is controlling our temper and such, but here are two different angles of self-control. One angle requires clear and direct communication.. I grew up being told that being indirect was being polite and nice, when it is actually a form of manipulation and control. In short, we need to be direct and control our end of conversations, but still be loving, kind, and gentle in the way we ask for things, our conversations, interactions and boundaries w/ people.
        "Oh my, the dishes are really piling up, and there's no counter space for me to work on."
        Should be said: "Hey, would you help me do the dishes? I need some counter space to work on."
        Also, we shouldn't expect others to know what we're thinking, like inviting someone over, expecting them to only stay two hours unless we say nicely that we can only meet for 2 hours. Some people see it as rude to stay less than three hours when time allows. Everyone comes from a different background and culture, so what's proper to one can be rude and hurtful to another...assumptions and not communicating only sets people up for failure. Altho, even when communication is clear and direct, some people may still need to be reminded that we have to be somewhere and have to be lovingly walked out to their car if they're not respecting our need to be somewhere...unless Holy Spirit says otherwise. Boundaries are not rude, they are a healthy part of loving and maintaining self-control.
        Another angle is that, again, we are only responsible for our own thots, words, actions, and reactions, and should not 'politely' manipulate/nag/control others or their environments so we can behave properly or get what we want. ~ "Put your cake away, so I (or whoever) won't eat it." ~ Control thy own self or pet! Lol. Or help any children w/ you to have self-control and learn how to honor and respect others and their space/belongings. ~ From experience... if we really need something from a person who isn't being helpful, we need to take it to our Daddy instead of nagging or trying to control the person or the situation. When I was twelve, I no longer got hand-me-downs from my cousins, so when I needed underwear, I would pray for Daddy-God to make my dad say that I could have money for underwear. It worked every time...no nagging needed or getting into trouble. Also, when I needed clothes for summer or school, I'd pray and w/in a week or two I'd be given several bags of hand-me-downs to look thru!
Posted by Jessica at 10:40 PM.        
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July 6 and 7, 12
        All creation sings His praise!
  1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
       the skies proclaim the work of His hands.
  2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
       night after night they reveal knowledge.
  3 They have no speech, they use no words;
       no sound is heard from them.
  4 Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
       their words to the ends of the world. Psalms 19:1-4
        As we hiked the Trail of Two Forests, Moltnoma Falls, Moulton Falls, and Lucia Falls this week, I was again lost in the wonder of how unique every single animal, bug, plant and leaf is, not just humans and snowflakes. We saw hemlock firs, cedars, Douglas firs, and rhododendrons that were almost as tall, all cloaked in mosses of many varieties. I sunk my toes into other species of moss that carpeted the forest floor and my eyes feasted on the beauty that also covered the nearby rocks, fallen trees and tree stumps. It astounded me to think how every single leaf and cell in each plant is different, and how Daddy-God can create countless universes for all of eternity and never ever make a duplicate cell! On top of that, every cell of every created thing was made to sing His praise and glorify Him...wow Daddy!
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July 4, 12
        For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. Romans 8:14
        Pastor Bill once talked on the two reasons why we sin - we sin bc we forget who we are and we forget our purpose for being here. I remember working for a boss who found her identity in her job title and position in society. My heart went out to her as I watched her fret and stress about things, and I wished she could live in the freedom and security of knowing that her Daddy-God would always provide for her needs and wants. As the weeks flew by, she found out that she going to be moving, therefore my job was going to end. I knew that my Daddy would provide, but I began to shrink back in humiliation as I realized that I might have to live off of food stamps. The night I came home from my last day at the job, I turned on iBethel TV, and the children's pastor was speaking. She talked about knowing who we are as Daddy-God's daughters and sons, and He said to me,
        You should be able to walk into the store and use those food stamps w/ your head raised simply bc you know that you are My daughter. Having to use food stamps should not embarrass you.
        So I asked Him to help me know who I am as His daughter so deeply that nothing could ever affect me like that again. After a few days of working w/ Him, I felt so strong and confident and happy in being His girl that thinking about living off food stamps was no longer embarrassing. Then, it ended up that I didn't need to use food stamps!
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July 2, 12
        But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations. Psalms 33:11
        My deepest passion is to raise up warriors, esp. my own w/ my DNA, for the Lord and His Kingdom purposes. Some say it's just an emotional need/desire for a husband and babies. It is not, and I've tried developing a different purpose for my life, but it didn't work so well. . . I can sense the lives and destinies of at least three sons, maybe four, more is good too! Almost every day, as I'm worshipping, reading the Word or hanging out w/ the Lord, He teaches me how to be the wife that my hubby needs and the mommy that my children need. He shows me how to love them individually and selflessly, how to build them up, speak life and destiny into them. He also shows me how to teach, guide and discipline our children positively yet firmly, how to bring them into an intimate relationship, hunger and passion for Him, and how to discover their own style of worship and prayer, etc. This is the purpose Daddy-God focuses most on in my life. Bill even spoke in Nov. at BSSM on parenting and confirmed all the downloads the Lord had been giving me. The Lord has also given me friends like Amy(has quadruplets) and Daja(has 7) who mother like He's put in me to mother, and their wisdom and encouragements have healed the unencouraging words of so many others.
        There was a time when I decided that I was done believing His promises to be true and done being the faithful wife He was asking me to be. For a month the Lord had been bombarding me w/ 3's and 33's, and the week I learned that 3 meant agreement w/ Daddy-God, I turned my face away from [my promise]. Immediately felt the Lord turn His face (not His Presence) away from me. Even so, for an entire week I remained firm in my decision bc I was done believing in something I had made up. The silence from the Lord was as close to hell as I ever want to be...I also broke out in a rash on my stomach and all up the insides of my arms. Sunday came, and Davis spoke on being in agreement w/ Daddy-God and how when we're not in agreement/in line w/ Him, we won't be where He needs us to be to receive what He promised.
        So I told the Lord that no matter how excruciating the pain was, I would be faithful no matter what happened. Immediately, His peace flooded my whole being, and I could once again hear His whisperings of Love and felt the joy of His Presence exploding in me...my rash also disappeared.
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June 29, 12
        How abundant are the good things that You have stored up for those who fear You, that You bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in You. In the shelter of Your presence You hide them from all human intrigues; You keep them safe in Your dwelling from accusing tongues. Psalms 31:19-20
        Obedience is an interesting phenomenon to me. Believers tend to think that if we obey, then our lives will be easier bc more things will go our way. In a way, the first part is true bc obeying the Lord usually brings issues to the surface...if we work thru these issues, we can become increasingly free, which does make our lives easier in that we stress less bc we trust Him more. However, obeying the Lord does not mean that more things will go our way or that we'll have a huge support system. So how do we know if what we're hearing is the Lord or not? Well in 1 John, John says we must test the spirits, test to know if what we're hearing is from the Lord. One check test I wrote about on
June 16, 12 is that we need to let Him know what we need in order to do what He's asking of us, and when He provides, be obedient!
        Another check test is to listen to what He's been saying. Spring of '97, I was starting my grad classes and couldn't afford housing. Yet I clearly heard the Lord tell me to trust Him and be obedient, no matter how unconventional it might be, and He would keep me safe. Each place He sent me was safe, but I tired of being 'unconventional' and chose my own conventional place to stay by listening to too many people and ignoring His 'No!' Needless to say, it was a horrible three weeks...the 24/7 flow of communication between us came to a screeching halt. So I asked the Lord to do whatever it took to get me out of there, and He provided an amazing place. Then when the last week of classes came I needed another place to stay, and one morning I read this verse and heard, 'Trust Me.' Later in the day, Amy offered her place. She lived in Bowles, where the RD was very rigid w/ following the rules and was known for kicking people out.
        Trust Me. I will keep you safe from the tongues of men.
        So I took my duffle bag over there then went to my finals. Everything ended after 11, and I began walking to Bowles when my best friend found me. I was also working thru the sexual abuse that had happened, and every time I saw this friend, the Lord would cover me w/ such safety and security that he was the only person I could handle having near me. So the Lord brought him to walk me 'home' that night. I thanked him and then changed into my pajamas and was sitting on the floor chatting w/ Amy and her roommates when the RD came by. She looked at me sitting there in my pajamas and didn't say a word.
        Another time was when I went to Mozambique, and I sensed the Lord wanted me to bring certain items of food for Shara and her missionary friends. So I brought a huge suitcase full of food, and the checkers in Pemba opened every bag and suitcase except mine!
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June 28, 12
        "I have given you authority to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." Luke 10:19
        I'm finding it ironic to be writing on authority on the day a certain person who believes in authority in a way that hugely devalues women, children, etc. has come for a visit. The Lord truly does restore and redeem in mysterious ways! Through Jesus, Daddy-God has given us all authority w/ wisdom to overcome the power of the enemy. The other day when I was being helped w/ something, I suddenly felt bitey, like biting people's heads off, which is so not me...so it must be something in them. So I said, 'I see you spirit of anger. Leave now in Jesus' Name. Peace come. Holy Spirit come,' and I started worshipping and enjoying Him. The biteyness left, and Holy Spirit came w/ His peace.
        Lately, I've been getting more and more words that I have huge authority in the spirit to shift atmospheres, push back the enemy, take back territory, and bring people back into their destinies. A woman w/ huge authority...crazy ironic! ~ Daddy-God definitely has a sense of humor! Lol.
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June 26, 12
        To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue. .. Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the body. Proverbs 16:1 & 24
        I wanted to write about that knowing of what to say and do or what not to say and do in any given situation, but I couldn't find the right word. I knew it had to do w/ sensitivity, empathy and compassion, but when tact came up, it didn't seem right bc in my brain it's more of an intellectual word than a heart-word. Yet its definition is accurate: tact is a sensitivity and keen sense of what to say or do (and not say or do) in dealing with others or with difficult issues. Tact and encouragement are similar in words, but they are different in that tact is also the awareness of what not to say and do. Tactful words and actions are very soothing to the soul and healing to the heart, mind and body. Not having my husband and children around me has been the most excruciating thing I have ever been thru bc of the circumstances, and being around married couples and parents w/ their kiddos who touch and snuggle a lot is insanely hard bc of the torment the floods me every time. (Yes, I am trying not to allow it to be so painful...closing eyes helps! Lol)
        Amy had amazing gentleness and tact! She now has quadruplets, and I had the joy of giving her a hand w/ them once a week. Her constant encouragements of my ability to be an amazing mommy and her approval of my interactions w/ her kiddos and encouraging them to play w/ me, talk to me and treat me nicely silenced all torment. Jordan's comfortableness w/ me, climbing on me, sitting on my lap, and reading books soothed some of the aching in my heart for my children. Amy also kept conversations on topics that were common between us, and didn't talk about things she did w/ her hubby or kiddos other than what we were doing at the moment. Every time I was w/ them, my heart was soothed and comforted, and I felt free to be myself bc nothing she said or did triggered any torment. Holy Sprit tact is amazing!
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June 23, 12
        "'When the people of the land come before the Lord at the appointed festivals, whoever enters by the north gate to worship is to go out the south gate; and whoever enters by the south gate is to go out the north gate. No one is to return through the gate by which they entered, but each is to go out the opposite gate.'" Ezekiel 46:9
        We should never leave the Presence of the Lord unchanged. After our quiet time w/ Him each morning and/or evening, we should come out changed, renewed, and able to pour out what He deposits in us. Beni was saying that the only (I think) missionary she knows who has not burned out is Heidi, bc she soaks in His Presence every moment she can. She even has a space in the back of their plane where she lies down w/ earphones and worships on their way to the bush. The Love I've felt from her and Rolland when I've been w/ them surprises me every time, and it makes me yearn to be the same way, to Love as He Loves. We should go out from our time w/ Him in such a way that everyone knows where we've been bc we Love like He Loves.
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June 22, 12
        Death and life are in the power of the tongue... Proverbs 18:21
        We are made in God's image(Ge. 1:27), so therefore every word we speak has power whether anyone hears us or not. Some make this spooky or take this to an extreme and obsess over the technicalities of it.. The original concept is that what we speak really does have power in the spirit because we are spiritual beings, like Him. Every word we speak promotes and strengthens one side or the other, so we must only speak out what Daddy-God is saying... I came to learn this the hard way one ay as I was driving home. The pain was ripping thru my heart and my brain (as concepts do hurt), and I started speaking things out of that intense pain and frustration. Very quickly, clearly and strongly I heard the Lord say,
        Do not speak those things out. It is not what you think, and you are binding [this person] into these things even further. Stop.
        That was one of the harshest ways He has ever spoken to me. Later that day, a friend and I went somewhere, and she brought me home so I could get ready to go out that night w/ a family I knew from church. As I was getting out of the car, I gave a small dry cough bc I was at the very tail end of a cold. She said, "Ooooo, sounds like you have bronchitis," and w/in thirty seconds I was coughing so much I couldn't speak. It grew progressively worse as I got ready then met my friends, and while we were at dinner I managed to get out between coughs what had happened. So Denise put her hand on my chest, broke the words off me in Jesus' Name, and declared that I didn't have bronchitis. I stopped coughing and clearly understood what the Lord had said. Don't speak out what shouldn't happen, and don't get weird or obsessive about it either by getting hung up on all the don'ts, i.e., don't say this or that. We must just focus on speaking out what Daddy-God is saying, and if we need to talk thru a difficult situation, ask Holy Spirit to guide and cover the words being spoken.
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June 19, 12
        Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Mt. 19:25
        Know what healthy limits are for yourself. Stress, anxiety, worry, .. they're all the same, fear-based emotions about things we can't control or fix. Early in my first year of college, the Lord really focused on teaching me to trust Him. I really wanted to get good grades bc I wanted to prove to various people that I wasn't dumb, that I was intelligent even I tho I didn't appear to be. So I was willing to skip meals and sleep (never showers!) to get the grades I wanted. Well, He had other plans! He wanted me to eat healthy, sleep and have fun! Here's a story, one of many like it...
        That first semester, I disciplined myself to study and locked myself away for hours, making sure that I ate and slept enough. Spring semester, however, I took more units than I had taken first semester because my father was not there to oppose it, and I found myself working long into the early morning hours. I was tired but happy to have my freedom.
        Jessica, you need your sleep.
        I know, I sighed one afternoon.
        I want you to go to bed at a decent hour tonight. Work on what you can, then go to bed and trust Me.
        All right. I will.
        I studied all afternoon and evening, taking a break for dinner to eat and socialize, but I still had a paper to finish for my literature class. Even so, I obediently went to bed, figuring I could still finish it in the morning before class. The next morning, I dressed and then gave my paper a quick finish, but the printer jammed when I went to print it. I fiddled w/ the printer until I began to get upset bc it would not be fixed, so I gave it over...I had done what I could, and I went to class without a paper to turn in.
        "Hi class!" the Dr. Ganas said. "You have a paper due today, but I'm not going to collect it until next Tuesday. Open your text to the Snow Child..."
        Thank You, Lord! I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief, while in a quandary as to why the instructor did not collect the papers. Whatever the reason was didn't matter, I was happy and gave the paper a good finish that weekend. We need to be responsible to do our part, then let it go so that He can do His part!
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June 16, 12
        Then the word of the Lord came to Elijah: "Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. You will drink from the brook, and I have directed the ravens to supply you with food there." 1 Kings 17:3-4
        The meaning in this verse is very black and white to me. I first began to understand its implications eleven or twelve years ago when the prophetic was unheard of in the environment I was in and I was trying to understand what the Lord was asking of me. It was an intense struggle bc He was breaking literally every thot and mindset I had about God and how to live the christian life. He was showing me that this life is all about a partnership w/ Him where He shows us what He wants to have happen, so that thru an intimate relationship and partnership w/ us He can accomplish His Will and bring His Kingdom to earth. I had told Him that I would obey Him w/ reckless abandonment as long as I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was hearing His Voice correctly. So this verse told me that He will always provide everything I need to be where He wants me to be and do what He wants me to do in partnership w/ Him.
        You could say that His provision is my Gideon fleece. For instance, one Sunday my pastor talked about God blessing us financially when we're obedient, and that afternoon I found out some painful news about my promise. I told Him that I needed an example of what the hell He was doing, and three hours later a friend called w/ a story showing how He could fix it. Then the next day, He gave me a check for $1,682.91, so I knew I had to stay on course. Ever since then, He has given me, to a T and more, every single thing I have needed to stay faithful.
        When I knew that I was going to lose the last desire of my heart that had not yet been destroyed, the ripping was unbearable, and I was at a loss as to why Daddy-God would allow it to go that far. However, every time the circumstances upset me, the Lord was very firm w/ me that things were not what they seemed and that I needed to pray for my best friend's innocence to be brought to light. I wanted to run and drown myself in another life far far away, but I sensed the Lord still wanted me to stay on course. So I told the Lord that if He wanted me to stay, I needed a friend who could understand and a large dog for tangible comfort...dogs typically don't tell you that you want too much from them and to go away. That evening He gave me two dogs, a shepherd mix who was a snuggler and his beagle side-kick, and then two days later He reconnected me w/ Gayle, who had a great dane. They lived two houses up from my prayer spot (of all places), and I discovered her to be an amazing, safe, wise, affectionate woman of God who understood on many levels, not just what I had asked for.
        The Lord had once again provided above and beyond what I had asked for, an incredible friend and three dogs, not just one, as if to drive the point home that I was to stay on course. When Gayle moved to Missouri, Daddy-God brought another neighbor, Amy, Phil and their four, who lived on the other end of the street my prayer spot was on. On days I didn't think I could bear the pain, she would call me and invite me over, and between her encouraging words and Jordan climbing on me or sitting in my lap, I was able to keep going. Now, in moving up to Redding w/ my mom, He has provided three jobs, an amazing place to live, and incredible friends who encourage and stretch me and also support me to stay faithful.
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June 15, 12
  25 So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten,
       The crawling locust,
       The consuming locust,
       And the chewing locust,
       My great army which I sent among you.
  26 You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
       And praise the Name of the Lord your God,
       Who has dealt wondrously with you;
       And My people shall never be put to shame.
  27 Then you shall know that I am in your midst:
       I am the Lord your God
       And there is no other.
       My people shall never be put to shame.
                     Joel 2:25-27
        Restoration is the renewal, revival, or reestablishment, the return of something to a former, original, normal, or unimpaired condition and the restitution of something taken away or lost. Seventeen years ago, the Lord began to promise me that He will restore, repay and redeem everything that has happened, everything that has been stolen and destroyed. I am a very detail oriented person, so for a long time I thot of this promise as a blanket promise, and that there would be countless details that I would have to overlook since small details go unnoticed by most people. However, a night at a recital w/ my best friend showed me that I have a lot to learn about what God notices and how much He wants to restore, repay and redeem every detail that matters to us.
        Growing up, I had been told so many times that women were inferior, even lower than dogs, that I could recite it all in my sleep...sex was our redeeming quality. Also, anything I thot or felt that didn't agree w/ the person telling me these things was wrong, whether it was actually wrong or not... At the recital, as my best friend and I were listening and discussing things, we voiced two opposite opinions, and after I had shared my thot about it, he looked at me and said, "You know what's cool? I'm taking your thots and making them my own." I stared at him blankly bc I didn't know how to even begin to process that. He allowed me to have my own thots and to speak my mind; he valued me and saw me as his equal instead of slamming me down, and his dad valued me the same way. His parents saw us sitting in the back, and his dad smiled as he slowly turned back around to talk w/ his wife...nice to be liked and valued by all. The Lord was using this friend to flip my world around and restore the years..., and I didn't know how to respond. He had seen every detail. He does see every detail, and He will restore, repay and redeem every single thing. And this was only the beginning, a glimpse into a much greater story that is yet to be played out. Wow, Lord!
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June 14, 12
        Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not think you are superior. Romans 12:15 & 16
    Empathy is identifying with or experiencing the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another as they do.
    Compassion is a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is hit by difficult circumstances, along w/ a strong desire to relieve the suffering.
    Sympathy is the agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another.
        Sensivity is being readily or excessively affected by external agencies or influences. It is also having sharp mental or emotional awareness of and responsiveness to the feelings of others. The negative side to sensitivity is how easily a sensitive person is pained, annoyed, etc. I grew up understanding that being sensitive was a negative thing, that sensitive people sulk in a corner and suck on their paws when they're hurt or upset, never contributing anything positive to society. This, however, is not true. Thru my journey of healing and growing, I have discovered that Daddy-God is much more concerned about our ability to love and be sensitive (our EQ-emotional intelligence), which we can increase, than the IQ (intelectual intelligence) that we are born w/. Emotional intelligence is a measure of a person's adequacy in areas such as self-awareness/identity, empathy, and dealing sensitively with other people...sounds sooo much like Someone we believers desire to be like! - So it's interesting that we can raise our EQ but not our IQ.
        What does being sensitive in a positive way mean? Being sensitive means being aware of circumstances and people around us, sensing the atmosphere of a room, and knowing how to bring about a positive change. For example, a sensitive person can sense that someone in the room is feeling unsafe, and s/he also knows how to fix the situation so the person can feel safe and protected w/out feeling drawn out, embarrassed or humiliated. Sensitivity is also picking up on what Holy Spirit is doing or wanting to do. Some people are born more sensitive and more emotionally aware than others, and those born w/ this greater and deeper sensitivity have to learn early on how to work thru the hurts, stay protected, and yet remain open and willing to love and care for others. Those who want to become more sensitive may have to face more hurts and hard things than they are use to, but the joys, the loves, the depth in relationships, the freedoms, etc. make it all worthwhile.
        A sensitive person must use wisdom in knowing what and who to stay away from. The Lord will give us the necessary wisdom, grace and protection to be in situations He wants to use us in, but if He doesn't give the go-ahead, it is wise and safer not to go. He has told me I'm not to be around a certain person w/out my hubby to cover me, and He has always provided a safe place for me to retreat to when this person comes around while my hubby's not here. Some want me to grow enough in the Lord so that such situations/individuals won't affect me so negatively. I know that they love me and mean well, but it's not what Holy Spirit is working on w/ me. Not being as affected by such situations/individuals would require me to put up a wall and/or become like teflon, and therefore be less sensitive to Him.
        However, in addition to nurturing my sensitivity, Daddy-God has started growing me in my authority in Him. When I pick up things in the atmosphere and in individuals that aren't Kingdom, I am learning how to disarm them or kick them out and bring His Presence, instead of being violated by them. - Yet even tho I'm learning this, this summer He's encouraged me to use wisdom and not place myself in unsafe situations, so I will be going to Washington in a few weeks while a person is visting... Some confirmations for this decision are that I got a bonus check from work that was twice the amount I would have had if I had not taken off work, and He even had Bill repeat the same message two weeks in a row (on July 1 and July 8, 12), so that I didn't have to miss a thing!
        Being a sensitive person who continues to love and give and pour out is extremely grueling at times, but the healing affect they have on those around them reaches farther than they'll ever know. Not having my husband and children around me is a ripping pain that I have to deal w/ every day, but when I am around those who are sensitive and empathetic, they speak words of hope and encouragement and remind me of the promises of complete restoration of everything that's been stolen and destroyed. The result is that their words of hope ease the pain and shut down all torment from the enemy. I want to become sensitive enough to strengthen and encourage others like this.
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June 11, 12
        Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened... Hebrews 3:13
        Whenever I think of encouragement, I think of the first person who built me up endlessly, no matter what I did or how I felt...or how I treated him because of where I was in my journey of healing. Way back, when I was learning to trust this person, I gave him a "go to hell" glare one night at choir practice bc I was overwhelmed. W/out missing a beat, he responded, "It's good to see you, Jessica." w/ a special smile and wink, and it strengthened and softened my heart to keep yielding to the healing process. Encouragements still soften my heart so that I stay yielded thru hard, stretching, painful circumstances.. So this is written w/ my best friend's dad in mind, and because today is his birthday!
        From the beginning of this journey of healing, learning my value as Daddy-God's favorite girl (you're His favorite too!), and then on to standing for the covenant I made, I've come to understand not only how encouragement is a nice thing, but how essential it is. I remember the choir director saying one Sunday morning that studies have shown that it takes eleven positives to simply counterbalance one negative comment. I had never heard that before...I had never heard that encouragement is a necessary part of life until that morning. From then on I began to understand why the writer of Hebrews had written this. We don't know what experiences people have faced before they cross our paths each time, whether their day has gone well, or whether they're battling discouragement, or if the enemy's flooding them w/ lies, condemnation, fear, despair, etc. So, whose side do we want to contribute to? The One Whose every motive is to build us up, or the one who's bent on tearing us down?
        For those who may enjoy confrontations or want to bring up the verses on "correcting your brother in love", correcting in love means correcting in a way that's constructive and encouraging, not destructive, and where the rapport between the individuals is positive and strong. The few times giving a word ever is corrective, I would say there should be (and should have been) more than eleven positives for each negative...a.k.a. Holy Spirit-led bc He is truly for us! (If we pray about it first tho, more than likely Holy Spirit will deal w/ the other person w/out us...possibly bc we are to encourage each other and build each other up. Lol.)
        "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11
        I'll finish the story...it was before I knew he was my best friend's dad. Periodically, Daddy-God would tell me to go by his office, and it terrified me so deeply that I shook like a leaf all the way over. I trembled from head to foot going up the elevator and into his office until he engaged me in such encouraging conversation that I remembered that he wasn't going to tear me down. It always took several minutes to realize that he wasn't going to bring up my shortcomings, tear me to shreds or violate me and then a bit longer to awaken to the idea that he still liked, enjoyed, and wanted my company. That afternoon, I had gone up to see him, but when I saw he wasn't there, the fear of having messed up and being so weird that he wished he'd never met me overwhelmed me as I went back home. I knew that I had to go to choir that night bc I was meeting friends there, so I hardened my heart bc I knew the sweet safe relationship was done. We walked into the small ampitheater and sat down, and I mustered all the strength and hardness I had to look up and glare at him. W/out missing a beat, he smiled back at me and said w/ a wink, "It's good to see you, Jessica." I immediately felt the hardness melt away and I felt stronger too, maybe he didn't regret knowing me. He seemed to smile extra encouragingly during practice, then after practice he came over to me, "I wasn't in my office all day today, was I?"
        I shook my head, wondering how he knew I'd come by.
        "I was in boring meetings all day. I'll be in my office tomorrow if you want to come by."
        How did he know why I had flipped out and had hardened my heart? He didn't apologize bc he had done nothing wrong; instead, he let me know why he wasn't there, hinting that it wasn't all that fun, as if to say that he wasn't avoiding me. Then he left the conversation w/ an invitation to come back, try him again when he could be there. ~ That has shown me how to set healthy boundaries w/ people while letting them know that I still like them and am not rejecting them... If I know that I have set healthy boundaries w/ genuine pure love and encouragement, then I must realize that their response is their responsibility, not mine.
Posted by Jessica at 11:37 PM.        
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