I came to Mozambique very weary from contending for my husband, fighting the warfare at work, and wishing for a better job. So I longed for this trip to be a respite from it all.. yet God had other plans. When we arrived in Pemba, I felt myself coming down with a cold, but I had no time to rest since our first outreach was scheduled for the next day. So as I lay on the sand floor of the tent listening to Heidi preach, I watched her pushing herself to keep going for our sakes even tho she was still weak from having been hospitalized when she was hit with malaria. She moved from post to post and other objects to lean on as she spoke to us and shared her heart, and I felt God's nudging for me to do the same as I too felt weak and tired. I felt Him calling me to rely on Him for strength at a new level, to rely on Him for the strength to press on because He truly IS my strength and my song!
As I realized that God had brought me there to be a prayer warrior for the team while they ministered, I focused my spirit on interceding and asking Jesus to come and be in our midst. Sometimes I sat, sometimes I joined others who were walking around the area we were ministering in, and when my body's weariness stole my focus I curled up on the ground, head between my knees, to pray. Before I realized it, I had stopped thinking much about how I felt and by Sunday my cold was almost gone, and I felt relatively like myself again.
Going All the Way to Africa to Talk W/ Pastor Ché
I stayed at the Compound in one of the dorms where some of the 150 students from the Holy Given school were staying. There were also about 200 pastors who were staying there for 4 one-month sessions over a period of about 4 years as well as the 200 orphans who live at this particular base. Pastor Ché Ahn spoke to these Mozambican pastors after Heidi had preached that first day we arrived, and he talked about the blessing of being in agreement with the pastor in authority over you and how breakthrough will come as a result. As I listened, I knew that God wanted me to talk to him since he was the pastor in authority over me, and this touched several areas in my heart that needed healing.
I knew I probably wouldn't see him again until Sun. or Mon., so I had the rest of the week to find the strength and boldness to speak with him. (Bkgrd info, Pa. Ché is Korean and jokes about Koreans being bold to no end in going after God's favor... with the nine Koraen pastors on our team who were from Korea, we saw this played out every time we were all together.) So I heard God whispering..
Be bold, like a Korean!
It proved to be a challenge to once again break those fears that came from the deep pain from the things my father (pastor and authority figure) had said and done along with the memories of some others whose words have been harsh and wounding. I also didn't want to bother him since he had many more important things to do than take five minutes with me. Yet God gently reassured me thru my precious and beautiful "little sister" Calista, that it was going to be ok this time, that in coming into the places of leadership He is calling me into I need to have relationships with other strong, good leaders like Pastor Ché, Pastor Sue, Heidi, Rolland, and Shara, and others.
I sought to get it over with on Sunday even tho I knew that Monday night at dinner was the appointed time, and Monday night I was definitely Set Up! Mon. night we all went to The Dolphin for dinner, and Shara, Heidi and Rolland came as well. Whose table did I find myself at as Calista, Christina, Bonnie, and I sat down? But the only two left of that group, Pastor Sue and Pastor Ché! And Pastor Ché sat directly across from me.. gulp. I was trying so hard not to be afraid of what he would see in me and what he might have to say to me that would tear my heart apart as my dad, other fam. members, and recently a woman pastor had done, that I almost chocked on my food a few times..ugh! Yet somehow, in the midst of dinner, God had me share in 3 or 4 sentences of what my dad had done and how God was healing me and teaching me to trust Him! I had wanted to remain silent and unnoticed, but it wasn't meant to be as I answered questions from Pastor Ché. After dinner, he left to talk with people, and Calista asked if I had talked with him yet. I hadn't.
I laid the foundation for you. Now go after talking to him!
So when I saw him coming back past our table, I snagged his sleeve because I was tongue-tied, and that's when God did the unexpected! He turned, put his hand on my head and came in my dad's place and asked for my forgiveness, then he prayed over me! God knew that if I had thought about the father aspect of things my mind would have spun off too far, so He simply had me work on the pastoral aspect of the healing He wanted to do in me. Then before I could react, He touched the wounds from my dad and did a deep healing..His gentleness and love blows me away! As Pastor Ché turned to go, I heard, You're not done yet. So I snagged him again and told him that I am contending for breakthrough in three areas; contending for my husband and our son (he's prayed in agreement with me before for him), the warfare at work, and the need for a second job. I asked with a new boldness if there was anything in me that was hindering my breakthrough, and he said no. He said all he could see in me was purity and light, and he told me I will have victory. Then he left.
We all went back to our rooms, and as Kaye and I talked while we got ready for bed, I noticed an absence of the enemy's attacks and felt a strength against him and his strikes that I'd never felt before. I shared about what had happened with Pastor Ché and about my contending for my husband as well as the warfare going on at work. She said she could sense the battle waging against us coming back together as well as the battle I'm up against at work, and she said she would be my prayer warrior!
Dar es Salaam
We all flew to Dar es Salaam where we went on outreaches to the churches that Pastor Mark's church had started, and God put it on my heart to speak on faithfulness, obedience, and keeping the covenant/vows that one has made. It was definitely a new experience since I've never taught like that before. Our team of 5 was incredible! On the way back to the hotel I felt a strong sense that it was Time to contend for my husband with Calista, who said she would join me and that I should ask Kaye as well. When I asked Kaye, she said she was feeling that too. So that night, before we were to leave, we met in Kaye and Calista's room, and Kaye, Calista, and Geri(from our team that day) came together in agreement with me and contended with me for my husband and our son.
As I've contended for the truth to be revealed, I've had more confirmation than ever before. Over our weekend together, Pastor Young Sook, as well as Calista and Kaye on Thurs. night, spoke out a furthering of the dream and visions I've had about my husband, myself and our family. Like Calista said, God is strategically placing and preparing people for what He has planned as He brings us all together..
Delay and Great Favor!
An eventful ending to an eventful trip! Right before take-off Fri. morning, I delightfully "spilled my guts"(which God frequently does with me in the figurative sense..ugh, but rarely literaly!). This happened because I had not been assertive/bold in requesting a change in an emotionally stressful situation when we were in Tanzania. God had even opened the door for it to be easy to stand up and request a change, but I had backed down and caught a nasty bug as a result. As the plane was on the runway, I lost everything that was in my stomach and had to get off the plane. It was not enjoyable, and God put me w/ a "bold Korean" for the weekend-long trip back to teach me about being assertive and bold that I had failed to learn during the trip, Apparently, He's determined to make a bold, confident, assertive leader out of me.. He definitely has a sense of humor!
We flew to Kenya that night but missed the flight to London to catch up w/ the team, so they put us up in a 5 star hotel for the night!!!!! Then Pastor Young Sook got us upgraded to Preferred Travelers' seats to London, and Business Class all the way to L.A.X. So we got to see a little bit of Kenya, rest an extra day, and sleep on the long flight home laying FLAT! which helped my body recupe..at no extra cost to us! She's hilarious..I asked her how she got us B.C. seats, and she reminded me that we had prayed for favor that morning! God's really pushing me to be stronger, bolder, assertive and to go after His favor..but He's doing it in such a Loving way!
When I returned home, I was called into work and told that I no longer had a job. The situation was very wrong and illegal, and I wanted just put it behind me and move on.
I didn't spend two weeks honing in on how you need to be bold and stand up for what's right for nothing. Now take your stand and fight for what you know is right!
I was obedient and took a stand at work but ended up with (oddly) no legal rights for anything, work-wise and personally.. I lost everything that had given me freedom and a normal life. Many things cannot be won without strong support. With this realization, eleven coworkers came forward a year after my stand had ended, and the situation was investigated with a favorable outcome for the rest of them. - In February 2011, I moved up to Redding so my mom could be closer to my brother and his family. Little did I know that the place I had been dreaming about for over 10 years would be based in Redding! Compass, a company that is all about giving people with disabilities a fulfilling life and the support they need to live out their dreams! Direction Dreams Destiny!